The Exhibitionist
Page 12
I raised an eyebrow. “Stop having sex when I was pregnant? No. Not at all.”
“Jeff said it was too dangerous and he wasn’t going to do anything that could potentially lead to problems. I know he’s trying to keep everyone safe and I love him even more for it, but I dream about sex. And it’s so vivid! I’m almost positive I orgasmed in my sleep last week.”
“I’ve heard pregnancy has that effect on some women.”
She took a drink of water and reached for another muffin. “He’s miserable, too. I can see it. I even offered to lend a hand, or a mouth, and he wouldn’t take me up on it.”
“I can’t speak for every couple, but you know Nathaniel. Mr. Conservative when it comes to safety, and I love that, don’t get me wrong. When we found out we were pregnant with Elizabeth, he did hours of research and then we sat down and talked about how our play would change.”
“That sounds like him.”
“A lot of the things he said weren’t negotiable. He wouldn’t bind me in any way while I was pregnant. There were no scenes with me on my back. He checked in with me more often than normal and he extended aftercare. He limited anal play, too.” I closed my eyes, but it really shouldn’t have been that hard to remember. Henry wasn’t that old. “I’m sure I have something written down or on my blog I could look through and find for you.”
“If you don’t mind. That’d be great.” She sighed. “Part of me feels it’s stupid. I mean, it’s sex, right? I can live without it for a few months.”
“Of course you could,” I assured her. “But why do it if you don’t have to? Sex is a need, and it doesn’t go away simply because you’re pregnant.”
“Thanks, Abby.”
“Don’t even think about it. I’ll do some digging tonight and see what I can find.” I drummed my fingers on the table as another thought came to me. “You know, I could talk to Nathaniel. See if he could have a chat with Jeff.”
“I don’t want to put him on the spot and I don’t want him to feel like I’m using him.”
I waved my hand, brushing away her comment. “It’s no big deal. I’d actually suggest a group talk on the topic if you weren’t the only pregnant couple and probably the only couple that will be any time soon.”
“Yeah,” she said with a half laugh. “That would be awkward.”
“Maybe one day, if the group gets a few more long-term couples that move in that direction.”
“This is why I’m so glad you and Nathaniel are joining the group. You guys have been through things a lot of us haven’t.”
“Right? That’s why I should at least put a bug in Nathaniel’s ear about talking to Jeff. He can make it sound like it’s his idea. Just kind of a ‘So, how’s it going with the pregnancy?’ thing.”
“I think that would be great. Thank you and thank him for me.”
I winked at her. “I will.”
“I have something else I want to talk to you about,” she said, her face growing serious.
“What’s up?”
“Jeff said you and Nathaniel were going to be looking at ways to make the group safer and more secure.”
I nodded. “Nathaniel mostly. I’m just going to be giving him my opinion as a submissive.”
“That’s perfect. I need a submissive’s viewpoint on this. At least one that isn’t as personally involved as I am.”
I waited for her to continue, horribly curious as to where this was going.
“This is group knowledge, so I’m not breaking anyone’s confidentiality in telling you this. You know Julie’s business partner, Sasha?” she asked me.
“Yes, we met before. Briefly.” I knew from listening to various murmurings around the group that Sasha had been whipped badly.
“She was with one of the group’s Doms, Peter.” She raised an eyebrow in question.
I nodded. I’d seen him at a group meeting, but had never been introduced.
“He wanted to do a scene with her,” she continued. “I’m not sure of all the details, but what ended up happening was she was bound and gagged while he used a bullwhip on her. And he didn’t give her a way to safe word.”
I fell back against my seat, and my jaw dropped. It was inconceivable to me that a Dom could possibly do that. I finally asked, “She didn’t say anything to him before he started?”
“From what I gather, he had mentioned collaring her. She’d never been collared and thought it was romantic that they could play without safe words.”
“Holy hell.”
“Right? She wound up in the hospital and dropped out of the group.” Dena’s forehead wrinkled in thought. “She did come to a group meeting shortly after, but she had a panic attack and never came back.”
“That’s horrible.”
Dena nodded. “I recommended a therapist and she’s been seeing her for a while now.”
“Is she better?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. When I went by her place to ask her to stand with me at the wedding and told her about the baby, she mentioned she was kicking around the idea of rejoining the group.”
I could see both the positive and negative in that. For her to have not only the desire, but the strength and courage to face coming back to the group was amazing. On the other hand, with Peter also around, it would be hard. “I think I see where you’re going.”
“I worry for her.”
I put my hand over hers. “I’m sure you do.”
“I want her to be back in the group, because she’s a submissive and she needs it. But I’m so scared something’s going to happen that will leave her in a worse place than she was before.”
“And since Nathaniel’s going to be working toward restructuring things …” I let the statement hang in the air.
“I know keeping everyone safe is his top priority,” she said. “I just thought it’d be a good idea for you to know in more detail who you’re keeping safe.”
I thought for a few seconds. “Do you think she wants back in the group for social reasons or physical? I mean, do you see her wanting to play?”
“To be honest, for a long time, I thought she’d never want to play again. It seemed like men were the lowest thing on her priority list. And I can’t say I blame her. But recently, she expressed interest in a Dom.”
“Jeff said it was too dangerous and he wasn’t going to do anything that could potentially lead to problems. I know he’s trying to keep everyone safe and I love him even more for it, but I dream about sex. And it’s so vivid! I’m almost positive I orgasmed in my sleep last week.”
“I’ve heard pregnancy has that effect on some women.”
She took a drink of water and reached for another muffin. “He’s miserable, too. I can see it. I even offered to lend a hand, or a mouth, and he wouldn’t take me up on it.”
“I can’t speak for every couple, but you know Nathaniel. Mr. Conservative when it comes to safety, and I love that, don’t get me wrong. When we found out we were pregnant with Elizabeth, he did hours of research and then we sat down and talked about how our play would change.”
“That sounds like him.”
“A lot of the things he said weren’t negotiable. He wouldn’t bind me in any way while I was pregnant. There were no scenes with me on my back. He checked in with me more often than normal and he extended aftercare. He limited anal play, too.” I closed my eyes, but it really shouldn’t have been that hard to remember. Henry wasn’t that old. “I’m sure I have something written down or on my blog I could look through and find for you.”
“If you don’t mind. That’d be great.” She sighed. “Part of me feels it’s stupid. I mean, it’s sex, right? I can live without it for a few months.”
“Of course you could,” I assured her. “But why do it if you don’t have to? Sex is a need, and it doesn’t go away simply because you’re pregnant.”
“Thanks, Abby.”
“Don’t even think about it. I’ll do some digging tonight and see what I can find.” I drummed my fingers on the table as another thought came to me. “You know, I could talk to Nathaniel. See if he could have a chat with Jeff.”
“I don’t want to put him on the spot and I don’t want him to feel like I’m using him.”
I waved my hand, brushing away her comment. “It’s no big deal. I’d actually suggest a group talk on the topic if you weren’t the only pregnant couple and probably the only couple that will be any time soon.”
“Yeah,” she said with a half laugh. “That would be awkward.”
“Maybe one day, if the group gets a few more long-term couples that move in that direction.”
“This is why I’m so glad you and Nathaniel are joining the group. You guys have been through things a lot of us haven’t.”
“Right? That’s why I should at least put a bug in Nathaniel’s ear about talking to Jeff. He can make it sound like it’s his idea. Just kind of a ‘So, how’s it going with the pregnancy?’ thing.”
“I think that would be great. Thank you and thank him for me.”
I winked at her. “I will.”
“I have something else I want to talk to you about,” she said, her face growing serious.
“What’s up?”
“Jeff said you and Nathaniel were going to be looking at ways to make the group safer and more secure.”
I nodded. “Nathaniel mostly. I’m just going to be giving him my opinion as a submissive.”
“That’s perfect. I need a submissive’s viewpoint on this. At least one that isn’t as personally involved as I am.”
I waited for her to continue, horribly curious as to where this was going.
“This is group knowledge, so I’m not breaking anyone’s confidentiality in telling you this. You know Julie’s business partner, Sasha?” she asked me.
“Yes, we met before. Briefly.” I knew from listening to various murmurings around the group that Sasha had been whipped badly.
“She was with one of the group’s Doms, Peter.” She raised an eyebrow in question.
I nodded. I’d seen him at a group meeting, but had never been introduced.
“He wanted to do a scene with her,” she continued. “I’m not sure of all the details, but what ended up happening was she was bound and gagged while he used a bullwhip on her. And he didn’t give her a way to safe word.”
I fell back against my seat, and my jaw dropped. It was inconceivable to me that a Dom could possibly do that. I finally asked, “She didn’t say anything to him before he started?”
“From what I gather, he had mentioned collaring her. She’d never been collared and thought it was romantic that they could play without safe words.”
“Holy hell.”
“Right? She wound up in the hospital and dropped out of the group.” Dena’s forehead wrinkled in thought. “She did come to a group meeting shortly after, but she had a panic attack and never came back.”
“That’s horrible.”
Dena nodded. “I recommended a therapist and she’s been seeing her for a while now.”
“Is she better?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. When I went by her place to ask her to stand with me at the wedding and told her about the baby, she mentioned she was kicking around the idea of rejoining the group.”
I could see both the positive and negative in that. For her to have not only the desire, but the strength and courage to face coming back to the group was amazing. On the other hand, with Peter also around, it would be hard. “I think I see where you’re going.”
“I worry for her.”
I put my hand over hers. “I’m sure you do.”
“I want her to be back in the group, because she’s a submissive and she needs it. But I’m so scared something’s going to happen that will leave her in a worse place than she was before.”
“And since Nathaniel’s going to be working toward restructuring things …” I let the statement hang in the air.
“I know keeping everyone safe is his top priority,” she said. “I just thought it’d be a good idea for you to know in more detail who you’re keeping safe.”
I thought for a few seconds. “Do you think she wants back in the group for social reasons or physical? I mean, do you see her wanting to play?”
“To be honest, for a long time, I thought she’d never want to play again. It seemed like men were the lowest thing on her priority list. And I can’t say I blame her. But recently, she expressed interest in a Dom.”
