The Gamble
Page 38
I was right, I didn’t like this.
“Mindy –” I started.
“I know you’ve known him, like, real brief, but sometimes shit happens fast when you know it’s right and you guys seem solid,” she said softly. “Still, it isn’t Max’s.”
Max and me seemed solid? Shit happens fast when you know it’s right?
I ignored both of those and said softly back, “No, it isn’t Max’s.”
“So, is it an heirloom or something?” she asked and I pulled in a deep breath.
“No,” I said on the exhale.
“So, whose is it?” she pressed.
I looked at Becca who had a slice of pizza in her hand, her hand to her mouth, her teeth in the slice but her eyeballs were wandering around the room looking at anything but Mindy and me and, if she didn’t have the pizza in her mouth, I knew she would have been whistling.
Then I looked at Mindy and made a decision. “His name is Niles.”
“Niles?” she asked and I could tell she didn’t much like his name.
Niles was a perfectly fine name, of course, however it didn’t ring American Mountain Man like “Max” or “Brody” or “Damon”.
“Niles,” I repeated.
“Okay, so,” Mindy went on and I could see she was pulling up the courage to do so and I wished she wouldn’t but I understood why she did, considering it was obvious she was close to Max and cared about him. “You’re wearin’ Niles’s ring, why are you up at the A-Frame with Max?”
“It’s a long story.”
“We got time.”
“Mins,” Becca whispered.
“No, it’s okay,” I said but I didn’t know why I said it since it wasn’t.
Then suddenly it was.
And over beer and pizza, I found myself telling two twenty-four year old girls (I’d found out their ages) everything about my life, Niles, Charlie, my timeout adventure in the mountains and my e-mail.
I did not, however, tell them about Max.
When I stopped speaking and grabbed another slice of pizza, Becca breathed, “Wow, you’re goin’ through a lot.”
“Yes, that’s about it, wow,” I whispered then bit into my pizza.
“So, you aren’t with this Niles anymore?” Mindy asked.
I chewed, swallowed and licked my lips.
Then I whispered, “I don’t think I’ve been with him for awhile.”
Then I suddenly felt tears hit my eyes.
“Oh, Nina,” Mindy whispered back, her fingers wrapping around my wrist.
My neck twisted and I dropped my slice, Mindy’s hand went away and I took a sip of beer.
Then I shared, “You know, the funny thing is, that part doesn’t hurt. Losing him, not at all.” My voice dropped and my eyes went between them both as I asked, “Does that make me a bad person?”
“No,” Becca said instantly.
“I don’t think he’s been with you for awhile either,” Mindy said and went on, “by the sounds of it.”
I nodded my head and told her. “I’m just sad because I care about him and I don’t want him to hurt.”
“Not sure he’ll hurt,” Becca muttered and I looked at her.
“Sorry?”
Becca pressed her lips together, glanced at Mindy then said to me, “He seems pretty clueless. Don’t want to sound like a bitch or anything, but, way it sounds, not sure he’ll even notice you’re gone.”
I had to admit, this idea had merit considering I’d sent that e-mail yesterday, Niles checked his e-mail frequently and I hadn’t heard from him at all. I did tell him I’d call in a few days but I’d also broken up with him. Like Max had said, a man cares, he phones.
And even though I said I’d call in a few days, if Niles cared I broke up with him, he’d phone, my offer to call in a few days be damned.
Ergo, it seemed Becca was right.
Nevertheless, I started, “He’s just –”
“Clueless,” Mindy said firmly.
“But –”
“Listen, Nina,” Becca cut in, “you’re gorgeous, you’re classy, you’re sweet, you dress awesome.” She glanced again at Mindy then went on with a sageness that was beyond her years. “See it all the time, a good woman settles for somethin’ that feels good, in your case, it felt safe, but it ain’t right. This Niles guy might be a nice guy, but he ain’t right. It’s good you realized it before it was too late.”
She’s right, Charlie said into my head and my back went straight.
“I saw you look at me,” Mindy said to Becca and she looked somewhat peeved so I couldn’t focus on the fact that Charlie was in my head again; or on what they’d both just said to me; or on the fact that it made sense and I felt relief, deep down, to have two twenty-four year old girls I didn’t know all that well assuring me I was doing the right thing. Instead, I needed to focus on Mindy and Becca.
“I did,” Becca said honestly to Mindy.
“Damon’s just havin’ a rough time,” Mindy told her.
“Yeah, you’ve said that, like, a million times,” Becca said back.
“Well, that’s ‘cause he is,” Mindy retorted.
“Girls,” I waded in.
They ignored me. “For Nina, this Niles guy, he’s boring and clueless and,” she looked at me, “Nina and Niles? That doesn’t sound too good. Now, Nina and Max…” she grinned. “that goes great together.”
“Becca,” I said but she looked back to Mindy.
“So she said yes because she felt safe. Now she realizes safe ain’t all that. For you, Damon is hot and he’s… well, that’s about all he’s got, bein’ hot. Mostly, he’s a jerk.”
“He isn’t a jerk,” Mindy returned.
Becca looked at me. “He’s a jerk.”
I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do but I decided to add, “Max doesn’t seem to care much for him.”
“Max never likes my boyfriends, neither does Brody,” Mindy said to me.
“Maybe because they’re all jerks?” Becca suggested.
“They aren’t all jerks,” Mindy replied.
Becca looked back at me. “All hot. All jerks.”
“Looks aren’t everything,” I advised Mindy
“Easy for you to say,” Mindy muttered. “You’ve got Max. He’s the hottest of the hot.”
“Mindy –” I started.
“I know you’ve known him, like, real brief, but sometimes shit happens fast when you know it’s right and you guys seem solid,” she said softly. “Still, it isn’t Max’s.”
Max and me seemed solid? Shit happens fast when you know it’s right?
I ignored both of those and said softly back, “No, it isn’t Max’s.”
“So, is it an heirloom or something?” she asked and I pulled in a deep breath.
“No,” I said on the exhale.
“So, whose is it?” she pressed.
I looked at Becca who had a slice of pizza in her hand, her hand to her mouth, her teeth in the slice but her eyeballs were wandering around the room looking at anything but Mindy and me and, if she didn’t have the pizza in her mouth, I knew she would have been whistling.
Then I looked at Mindy and made a decision. “His name is Niles.”
“Niles?” she asked and I could tell she didn’t much like his name.
Niles was a perfectly fine name, of course, however it didn’t ring American Mountain Man like “Max” or “Brody” or “Damon”.
“Niles,” I repeated.
“Okay, so,” Mindy went on and I could see she was pulling up the courage to do so and I wished she wouldn’t but I understood why she did, considering it was obvious she was close to Max and cared about him. “You’re wearin’ Niles’s ring, why are you up at the A-Frame with Max?”
“It’s a long story.”
“We got time.”
“Mins,” Becca whispered.
“No, it’s okay,” I said but I didn’t know why I said it since it wasn’t.
Then suddenly it was.
And over beer and pizza, I found myself telling two twenty-four year old girls (I’d found out their ages) everything about my life, Niles, Charlie, my timeout adventure in the mountains and my e-mail.
I did not, however, tell them about Max.
When I stopped speaking and grabbed another slice of pizza, Becca breathed, “Wow, you’re goin’ through a lot.”
“Yes, that’s about it, wow,” I whispered then bit into my pizza.
“So, you aren’t with this Niles anymore?” Mindy asked.
I chewed, swallowed and licked my lips.
Then I whispered, “I don’t think I’ve been with him for awhile.”
Then I suddenly felt tears hit my eyes.
“Oh, Nina,” Mindy whispered back, her fingers wrapping around my wrist.
My neck twisted and I dropped my slice, Mindy’s hand went away and I took a sip of beer.
Then I shared, “You know, the funny thing is, that part doesn’t hurt. Losing him, not at all.” My voice dropped and my eyes went between them both as I asked, “Does that make me a bad person?”
“No,” Becca said instantly.
“I don’t think he’s been with you for awhile either,” Mindy said and went on, “by the sounds of it.”
I nodded my head and told her. “I’m just sad because I care about him and I don’t want him to hurt.”
“Not sure he’ll hurt,” Becca muttered and I looked at her.
“Sorry?”
Becca pressed her lips together, glanced at Mindy then said to me, “He seems pretty clueless. Don’t want to sound like a bitch or anything, but, way it sounds, not sure he’ll even notice you’re gone.”
I had to admit, this idea had merit considering I’d sent that e-mail yesterday, Niles checked his e-mail frequently and I hadn’t heard from him at all. I did tell him I’d call in a few days but I’d also broken up with him. Like Max had said, a man cares, he phones.
And even though I said I’d call in a few days, if Niles cared I broke up with him, he’d phone, my offer to call in a few days be damned.
Ergo, it seemed Becca was right.
Nevertheless, I started, “He’s just –”
“Clueless,” Mindy said firmly.
“But –”
“Listen, Nina,” Becca cut in, “you’re gorgeous, you’re classy, you’re sweet, you dress awesome.” She glanced again at Mindy then went on with a sageness that was beyond her years. “See it all the time, a good woman settles for somethin’ that feels good, in your case, it felt safe, but it ain’t right. This Niles guy might be a nice guy, but he ain’t right. It’s good you realized it before it was too late.”
She’s right, Charlie said into my head and my back went straight.
“I saw you look at me,” Mindy said to Becca and she looked somewhat peeved so I couldn’t focus on the fact that Charlie was in my head again; or on what they’d both just said to me; or on the fact that it made sense and I felt relief, deep down, to have two twenty-four year old girls I didn’t know all that well assuring me I was doing the right thing. Instead, I needed to focus on Mindy and Becca.
“I did,” Becca said honestly to Mindy.
“Damon’s just havin’ a rough time,” Mindy told her.
“Yeah, you’ve said that, like, a million times,” Becca said back.
“Well, that’s ‘cause he is,” Mindy retorted.
“Girls,” I waded in.
They ignored me. “For Nina, this Niles guy, he’s boring and clueless and,” she looked at me, “Nina and Niles? That doesn’t sound too good. Now, Nina and Max…” she grinned. “that goes great together.”
“Becca,” I said but she looked back to Mindy.
“So she said yes because she felt safe. Now she realizes safe ain’t all that. For you, Damon is hot and he’s… well, that’s about all he’s got, bein’ hot. Mostly, he’s a jerk.”
“He isn’t a jerk,” Mindy returned.
Becca looked at me. “He’s a jerk.”
I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do but I decided to add, “Max doesn’t seem to care much for him.”
“Max never likes my boyfriends, neither does Brody,” Mindy said to me.
“Maybe because they’re all jerks?” Becca suggested.
“They aren’t all jerks,” Mindy replied.
Becca looked back at me. “All hot. All jerks.”
“Looks aren’t everything,” I advised Mindy
“Easy for you to say,” Mindy muttered. “You’ve got Max. He’s the hottest of the hot.”
