The Goddess Inheritance
Page 47
He ran his fingers through my hair. “Nor will I allow you to do so either. We are in this together no matter what happens. I will not make the mistake of leaving you behind again. All I ask is that you do the same for me, as well.”
Cold horror hit me. He knew. Somehow, someway, he knew what I was planning, and instead of admitting it and forcibly stopping me, he was trying to reason with me. He was giving me a choice.
But he’d also made the consequences of me making the wrong decision painfully clear. If I ran off on my own to try to protect Milo and stop this war, he would, too. And we both knew his attempts would be a hell of a lot bloodier than mine.
I tilted my head upward to capture his lips, kissing him with every ounce of passion and frustration and guilt inside me. He had to understand. “I love you, and I will always be yours.”
“And I yours. We will have our future,” whispered Henry. Despite everything that was happening around us, despite the wrenching choices we both faced, I believed him completely.
On my last day before surrendering to Cronus, my mother tracked me down. I’d been practicing for ages, and Henry had long since grown tired of chasing me around Olympus. In spite of the hours I’d clocked disappearing and reappearing in random places throughout the palace, I hadn’t seen all of Olympus yet. Now I never would, but it was a stupid regret to have, all things considered.
“We need to talk,” said my mother as I reappeared in the throne room.
“About what?” I said, forcing my voice to remain steady. No use giving her any reason to think I was up to something, and if anyone could figure it out, it was my mother. Unless Henry had already told her.
“You’ve been anxious lately,” she said, and I swore inwardly.
“We’ve all been on edge.”
She couldn’t argue with that. Instead my mother pursed her lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Yes. I wanted to crawl into her lap like I had when I was a kid and admit every stupid thing I’d done and every idiotic thing I’d agreed to. I wanted her to tell me that everything would be all right, and I didn’t have to worry anymore, because she would fix it.
This wasn’t something she could solve with a wave of her hand or a few gentle words though, and for the first time in my life, I began to understand that she wasn’t the all-powerful mother I’d always thought she was. She was human, or at least as close to human as a member of the council could be. She made mistakes, too, and she didn’t always have the answers.
“I can’t,” I mumbled, and she motioned for me to join her. I curled up in her lap without a second thought. Why couldn’t things be simple again?
They hadn’t been simple for years though, not since I was fourteen and my mother had been diagnosed. And while I’d had the illusion of simplicity in the years before that, they’d never really been easy, had they? She’d had to raise me knowing what was coming. The council had always loomed over me, waiting until I was old enough to put me through a test no girl before me had survived. My mother had known the risks. She’d known what the inevitable looked like, yet she’d always been there and always loved me with everything she had. Now it was my turn to do the same for Milo.
“You’re a good girl, Kate,” she murmured, holding me close. “Do what you have to do to protect your family.”
I hugged her back tightly. So Henry had told her, after all. Did the entire council know now? Did it matter, as long as they weren’t trying to stop me? “I love you,” I said, clinging to her.
“I love you, too, sweetheart.” She rubbed my back in slow circles. “Everything will be all right in the end. Evil never lasts forever, and neither will this.”
Even though I knew she was right, even though she said the exact words I’d needed to hear, she couldn’t predict what would happen in the meantime. No one could. And that was what I was really afraid of.
Later, in our bedroom, Henry and I didn’t speak. We lost ourselves in each other, a silent farewell that neither of us could bear to say. If I hadn’t been certain before, I was now; he was letting me go, and it would only be a matter of time before I discovered the price we would both have to pay for it.
As my time dwindled to less than half an hour before I was due to surrender to Cronus, I still couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye. I waited until Henry’s chest rose and fell in the steady rhythm of sleep, but he didn’t fool me. He was awake, and I gave us both one last moment of pretending and slipped away in silence.
James was waiting for me in the hallway, leaning up against the wall with a scowl on his face. “Going somewhere?”
“I—” I paused. “You can’t stop me.”
“No doubt about that,” he said, taking my hand and leading me toward the throne room. As badly as I wanted to pull away, I couldn’t. Not when this might be the last time I’d ever see him. “Are you sure about this?”
“If you were me, what would you do?”
“I would have left ages ago.”
At least he understood, but I didn’t have time for this. If I wasn’t in Calliope’s palace in twenty minutes, Cronus would kill millions more. “If you’re not trying to stop me, then what are you here for?”
“Everyone gets a goodbye except me?” he said, and I hugged him around the middle.
“I’m sorry. I meant to tell you.”
“That’s a lie, but thanks for the thought,” said James without a hint of anger. “So what’s the plan?”
Cold horror hit me. He knew. Somehow, someway, he knew what I was planning, and instead of admitting it and forcibly stopping me, he was trying to reason with me. He was giving me a choice.
But he’d also made the consequences of me making the wrong decision painfully clear. If I ran off on my own to try to protect Milo and stop this war, he would, too. And we both knew his attempts would be a hell of a lot bloodier than mine.
I tilted my head upward to capture his lips, kissing him with every ounce of passion and frustration and guilt inside me. He had to understand. “I love you, and I will always be yours.”
“And I yours. We will have our future,” whispered Henry. Despite everything that was happening around us, despite the wrenching choices we both faced, I believed him completely.
On my last day before surrendering to Cronus, my mother tracked me down. I’d been practicing for ages, and Henry had long since grown tired of chasing me around Olympus. In spite of the hours I’d clocked disappearing and reappearing in random places throughout the palace, I hadn’t seen all of Olympus yet. Now I never would, but it was a stupid regret to have, all things considered.
“We need to talk,” said my mother as I reappeared in the throne room.
“About what?” I said, forcing my voice to remain steady. No use giving her any reason to think I was up to something, and if anyone could figure it out, it was my mother. Unless Henry had already told her.
“You’ve been anxious lately,” she said, and I swore inwardly.
“We’ve all been on edge.”
She couldn’t argue with that. Instead my mother pursed her lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Yes. I wanted to crawl into her lap like I had when I was a kid and admit every stupid thing I’d done and every idiotic thing I’d agreed to. I wanted her to tell me that everything would be all right, and I didn’t have to worry anymore, because she would fix it.
This wasn’t something she could solve with a wave of her hand or a few gentle words though, and for the first time in my life, I began to understand that she wasn’t the all-powerful mother I’d always thought she was. She was human, or at least as close to human as a member of the council could be. She made mistakes, too, and she didn’t always have the answers.
“I can’t,” I mumbled, and she motioned for me to join her. I curled up in her lap without a second thought. Why couldn’t things be simple again?
They hadn’t been simple for years though, not since I was fourteen and my mother had been diagnosed. And while I’d had the illusion of simplicity in the years before that, they’d never really been easy, had they? She’d had to raise me knowing what was coming. The council had always loomed over me, waiting until I was old enough to put me through a test no girl before me had survived. My mother had known the risks. She’d known what the inevitable looked like, yet she’d always been there and always loved me with everything she had. Now it was my turn to do the same for Milo.
“You’re a good girl, Kate,” she murmured, holding me close. “Do what you have to do to protect your family.”
I hugged her back tightly. So Henry had told her, after all. Did the entire council know now? Did it matter, as long as they weren’t trying to stop me? “I love you,” I said, clinging to her.
“I love you, too, sweetheart.” She rubbed my back in slow circles. “Everything will be all right in the end. Evil never lasts forever, and neither will this.”
Even though I knew she was right, even though she said the exact words I’d needed to hear, she couldn’t predict what would happen in the meantime. No one could. And that was what I was really afraid of.
Later, in our bedroom, Henry and I didn’t speak. We lost ourselves in each other, a silent farewell that neither of us could bear to say. If I hadn’t been certain before, I was now; he was letting me go, and it would only be a matter of time before I discovered the price we would both have to pay for it.
As my time dwindled to less than half an hour before I was due to surrender to Cronus, I still couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye. I waited until Henry’s chest rose and fell in the steady rhythm of sleep, but he didn’t fool me. He was awake, and I gave us both one last moment of pretending and slipped away in silence.
James was waiting for me in the hallway, leaning up against the wall with a scowl on his face. “Going somewhere?”
“I—” I paused. “You can’t stop me.”
“No doubt about that,” he said, taking my hand and leading me toward the throne room. As badly as I wanted to pull away, I couldn’t. Not when this might be the last time I’d ever see him. “Are you sure about this?”
“If you were me, what would you do?”
“I would have left ages ago.”
At least he understood, but I didn’t have time for this. If I wasn’t in Calliope’s palace in twenty minutes, Cronus would kill millions more. “If you’re not trying to stop me, then what are you here for?”
“Everyone gets a goodbye except me?” he said, and I hugged him around the middle.
“I’m sorry. I meant to tell you.”
“That’s a lie, but thanks for the thought,” said James without a hint of anger. “So what’s the plan?”
