The Goddess Legacy
Page 37
“What are you going to do, my daughter?”
I stare at Eros’s golden curls. I thought coming back to Olympus would give me some answers, but I’m as confused as ever. “I don’t know. I love them both.”
“But you’ve only been with Hephaestus for a short while.”
I shrug. “Doesn’t matter. I can feel the way he loves me. It’s—warm. Gentle. Steady. And I want that, Daddy. I really do.”
“Then what is the problem?”
The words catch in my throat. “I love Ares, too.”
“And what is the difference between them?”
Everything. “Ares—I know who he is. I know what he is. I know he blows hot and cold, and I know he’s sometimes unreliable, but when we’re together, it’s like—it’s like the entire world’s on fire.”
“And Hephaestus?”
My cheeks turn pink. My father is the last person I want to talk to about this, but he’s the only one who can possibly understand. “With him, it’s just the two of us. Everything else goes dark, and no matter what we’re talking about, even if it’s something silly, it’s warm. Always warm.” Never cold like it is sometimes with Ares.
“Then it seems you have a choice to make,” he says. My eyes water all over again.
“How?” I whisper. “Everyone thinks I’m—I’m a whore for loving both of them, but I can’t help it, Daddy.”
“Oh, Aphrodite.” He moves into the space between our thrones and captures me in a hug. “You have nothing to be ashamed of no matter what your mother or sisters try to claim. You’re so full of love in a way they’ll never be, and it’s natural you love both of my sons. Some people are built for monogamy. They see love in one person, and they devote themselves entirely to that love. But people like you and me, we see love everywhere, and we know what a waste it would be to pass it by. That doesn’t mean we love our partner any less. It just means we share our love with others, as well.”
I sniff, and Daddy produces a piece of cloth. I take it and dab my eyes. “But what happens when it hurts our partners so badly that they don’t want to love us anymore?”
For a moment, Daddy’s silent. I shouldn’t have asked. I know exactly what happens then—I’ve seen it in Daddy’s marriage to Hera. We all have. “Then maybe they simply aren’t the ones we’re supposed to be with.”
“How am I supposed to choose?” I mumble. “Hephaestus says he’s all right with it, but I think he’s secretly hoping he’ll be enough. And Ares—he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else at all.”
“I don’t know, my darling,” says Daddy, running his fingers through my hair. I’ve missed that. I’ve missed him. “What I do know is that it is a choice you’ll have to make. I made the mistake of trying to force you into something you didn’t want once, and I won’t do it again. You have my permission to decide. But be careful, and think it through—whatever choice you make will define this part of your existence. Maybe all of it. Make sure it’s someone you want to be tied to forever. My sons love you in very different ways, and love can either be a gift or a curse. Try to choose the first, if you can.”
“Which one’s that, Ares or Hephaestus?”
“That’s for you to decide.” He kisses my forehead. “I’m glad you’re home.”
When our conversation is over, I carry Eros into the corridor where Persephone and Hermes disappeared. He’s never had the chance to make friends before, and I want that for him. I don’t want him to be alone.
“Heh!” cries Eros, suddenly struggling in my arms. I blink, making my teary eyes focus, and I spot a bulky figure looming far down the hallway. Hephaestus.
I hug Eros tighter. I’m wrong. He does have a friend. And if Hephaestus meant it when he said he’d be there for us always, no matter what—
“Aphrodite?”
I turn. Ares stands in the middle of a guest room, looking weary and more miserable than I’ve ever seen him. The spark’s still there when his eyes meet mine, but it’s lessened somehow. And that hurts me. Badly.
Hephaestus forgotten, I slip into the chamber and set a squirming Eros down. He takes off on his little legs, and I start to follow. When he turns left, however, I know where he’s going, and I force myself to stop. Hephaestus will watch over him. I need this moment with Ares.
“He’s big,” says Ares roughly, and he sits on the bed. I hesitate. I don’t want this to be purely about sex. I want him to love me the way Hephaestus does, too. And maybe he does—maybe the heat’s overshadowed the rest of it for so long that I can’t recognize the warmth anymore. But the way the spark between us has lessened…
“Yeah, well. That’s what happens. Babies grow up.” I lean against the wall instead. “I wish you hadn’t gone away.”
He furrows his brow. “I wish I hadn’t had to.”
“You’ll always have to leave at some point, won’t you?”
“But I’ll always come back to you.”
I believe him. He squints at me as if it hurts him, as if I’m still his sun and I’m shining too bright for him to face me head-on, and the ice around my heart melts. I’ve been so busy thinking about what I want that I haven’t stopped to think about how this must be hurting him.
I stare at Eros’s golden curls. I thought coming back to Olympus would give me some answers, but I’m as confused as ever. “I don’t know. I love them both.”
“But you’ve only been with Hephaestus for a short while.”
I shrug. “Doesn’t matter. I can feel the way he loves me. It’s—warm. Gentle. Steady. And I want that, Daddy. I really do.”
“Then what is the problem?”
The words catch in my throat. “I love Ares, too.”
“And what is the difference between them?”
Everything. “Ares—I know who he is. I know what he is. I know he blows hot and cold, and I know he’s sometimes unreliable, but when we’re together, it’s like—it’s like the entire world’s on fire.”
“And Hephaestus?”
My cheeks turn pink. My father is the last person I want to talk to about this, but he’s the only one who can possibly understand. “With him, it’s just the two of us. Everything else goes dark, and no matter what we’re talking about, even if it’s something silly, it’s warm. Always warm.” Never cold like it is sometimes with Ares.
“Then it seems you have a choice to make,” he says. My eyes water all over again.
“How?” I whisper. “Everyone thinks I’m—I’m a whore for loving both of them, but I can’t help it, Daddy.”
“Oh, Aphrodite.” He moves into the space between our thrones and captures me in a hug. “You have nothing to be ashamed of no matter what your mother or sisters try to claim. You’re so full of love in a way they’ll never be, and it’s natural you love both of my sons. Some people are built for monogamy. They see love in one person, and they devote themselves entirely to that love. But people like you and me, we see love everywhere, and we know what a waste it would be to pass it by. That doesn’t mean we love our partner any less. It just means we share our love with others, as well.”
I sniff, and Daddy produces a piece of cloth. I take it and dab my eyes. “But what happens when it hurts our partners so badly that they don’t want to love us anymore?”
For a moment, Daddy’s silent. I shouldn’t have asked. I know exactly what happens then—I’ve seen it in Daddy’s marriage to Hera. We all have. “Then maybe they simply aren’t the ones we’re supposed to be with.”
“How am I supposed to choose?” I mumble. “Hephaestus says he’s all right with it, but I think he’s secretly hoping he’ll be enough. And Ares—he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else at all.”
“I don’t know, my darling,” says Daddy, running his fingers through my hair. I’ve missed that. I’ve missed him. “What I do know is that it is a choice you’ll have to make. I made the mistake of trying to force you into something you didn’t want once, and I won’t do it again. You have my permission to decide. But be careful, and think it through—whatever choice you make will define this part of your existence. Maybe all of it. Make sure it’s someone you want to be tied to forever. My sons love you in very different ways, and love can either be a gift or a curse. Try to choose the first, if you can.”
“Which one’s that, Ares or Hephaestus?”
“That’s for you to decide.” He kisses my forehead. “I’m glad you’re home.”
When our conversation is over, I carry Eros into the corridor where Persephone and Hermes disappeared. He’s never had the chance to make friends before, and I want that for him. I don’t want him to be alone.
“Heh!” cries Eros, suddenly struggling in my arms. I blink, making my teary eyes focus, and I spot a bulky figure looming far down the hallway. Hephaestus.
I hug Eros tighter. I’m wrong. He does have a friend. And if Hephaestus meant it when he said he’d be there for us always, no matter what—
“Aphrodite?”
I turn. Ares stands in the middle of a guest room, looking weary and more miserable than I’ve ever seen him. The spark’s still there when his eyes meet mine, but it’s lessened somehow. And that hurts me. Badly.
Hephaestus forgotten, I slip into the chamber and set a squirming Eros down. He takes off on his little legs, and I start to follow. When he turns left, however, I know where he’s going, and I force myself to stop. Hephaestus will watch over him. I need this moment with Ares.
“He’s big,” says Ares roughly, and he sits on the bed. I hesitate. I don’t want this to be purely about sex. I want him to love me the way Hephaestus does, too. And maybe he does—maybe the heat’s overshadowed the rest of it for so long that I can’t recognize the warmth anymore. But the way the spark between us has lessened…
“Yeah, well. That’s what happens. Babies grow up.” I lean against the wall instead. “I wish you hadn’t gone away.”
He furrows his brow. “I wish I hadn’t had to.”
“You’ll always have to leave at some point, won’t you?”
“But I’ll always come back to you.”
I believe him. He squints at me as if it hurts him, as if I’m still his sun and I’m shining too bright for him to face me head-on, and the ice around my heart melts. I’ve been so busy thinking about what I want that I haven’t stopped to think about how this must be hurting him.
