The Goddess Test
Page 35
“No,” he said patiently. “I said I was not proposing marriage to you. I am still not. There is no need unless you pass. If you do, then yes, you will be my wife six months of the year.”
I fidgeted. “What if I don’t want to be your wife?”
He stilled, his smile disappearing. “Then it would be a simple enough thing for you to purposely fail.”
The hollowness in his voice immediately made me feel guilty. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“Do not apologize.” His tone was still void of emotion, and it only made me feel worse. “This is your choice. If at any time I ask too much of you, then you may leave.”
And my mother would die.
I clenched my fists so hard that my nails dug into my palms, and it was several moments before I managed to come up with something to say—a peace offering, if nothing else. Maybe if I pretended that marrying him was a possibility, he wouldn’t look so empty.
“What about then?” I said. “If we get—married—will I have to—you know?”
“No.” Henry thawed slightly as he focused on me again. I was sure he could see right through me. “You will be my wife in name and title only, and I would not ask it of you if it were not necessary for the Underworld to recognize you as its ruler as it recognized Persephone. I do not expect you to love me, Kate. I do not dare hope that you would think of me in any way other than as a friend, and I know I must earn even that much. I understand that this is not your ideal life, and I do not wish to make it more difficult for you than it already is. My only desire is to help you pass these tests.”
And to stop whoever it was from killing me. I cautiously perched on the edge of my bed. There was still enough distance between us that I felt safe, but even the air that separated us seemed to crackle. “What about love? Don’t you—you know, want someone? Want a family and stuff?”
“I have a family,” he said, but before I could correct myself, he continued. “If you mean children, then no, I have never believed that to be in my future.”
“But is that what you want?”
He smiled faintly. “I have been alone for a very long time. To expect anything else in the years to come would be foolish.”
Despite the fact that he looked only a few years older than me, I couldn’t imagine how old Henry might actually be—wasn’t sure I wanted to know, really. But how could someone live for so long and be alone? I could barely handle the few nights I’d spent at home without my mother. Multiply that by eternity…I couldn’t fathom it.
“Henry?”
“Yes?”
“What happens to you if I don’t pass?”
He was silent for a long moment, his fingers idly running across the silk lining of his robe. “I will fade,” he said quietly. “Someone else will take over my realm, and therefore I will have no reason to exist any longer.”
“So you die.” The gravity of the situation hit me hard, and I stared off to the side, unable to look at him. It wasn’t just my mother’s life that was riding on my ability to pass these tests.
“I fade,” he corrected. “The living die, and their souls remain in the Underworld for eternity. However, my kind do not have souls. We cease to exist completely, without a shred of our former selves remaining. One cannot die if one was never alive to begin with.”
I clenched my fist around the blanket. It was even worse than dying then. “Who?”
He gave me a puzzled look. “Who what?”
“Who gets your job if you give it up?”
“Ah.” He smiled sadly. “My nephew.”
“Who is he? What’s his name? Is he on the council?”
“Yes, he is on the council,” said Henry, “but I am afraid I cannot tell you his name.”
“Why not?” It seemed no one was willing to trust me with the truth in this place, and while I could understand Calliope not giving me the whole story, Henry knew. Henry should’ve told me.
He cleared his throat and at least had the decency to look me in the eye. “Because I fear it would upset you, and you are unhappy enough as it is. I do not wish to make it any worse.”
I fell silent as I tried to think of who it could possibly be that would upset me. No one came to mind. “I don’t understand.”
“You will.”
There was nothing I could say to that, and he must’ve known it, because instead of looking at me expectantly, he returned to his book. I watched him, searching for any sign that he wasn’t human. The angles of his face were too symmetrical to be normal, his smooth skin devoid of even a hint of stubble, the thick, jet-black hair that hung an inch above his shoulders, and the unnerving color of his eyes—it was his eyes that did it, swirling pools of silver that seemed to constantly be moving. In the low light, they almost glowed.
It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that I realized I was staring. Even though I was still annoyed that he wouldn’t trust me with the truth, I wanted to break the tension, so I said the first thing that came to mind. “What do you do during the day? When you’re not here, I mean. Or are you always here?”
“I’m not always here.” He slid a bookmark between the pages again and set his novel aside. “My brothers and sisters and I all have duties we attend to. I rule the dead, so most of my time is spent in the Underworld, overseeing decisions and making sure everything runs smoothly. It’s far more complicated than that, of course, but if you pass, you will learn the ins and outs of what I do.”
I fidgeted. “What if I don’t want to be your wife?”
He stilled, his smile disappearing. “Then it would be a simple enough thing for you to purposely fail.”
The hollowness in his voice immediately made me feel guilty. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“Do not apologize.” His tone was still void of emotion, and it only made me feel worse. “This is your choice. If at any time I ask too much of you, then you may leave.”
And my mother would die.
I clenched my fists so hard that my nails dug into my palms, and it was several moments before I managed to come up with something to say—a peace offering, if nothing else. Maybe if I pretended that marrying him was a possibility, he wouldn’t look so empty.
“What about then?” I said. “If we get—married—will I have to—you know?”
“No.” Henry thawed slightly as he focused on me again. I was sure he could see right through me. “You will be my wife in name and title only, and I would not ask it of you if it were not necessary for the Underworld to recognize you as its ruler as it recognized Persephone. I do not expect you to love me, Kate. I do not dare hope that you would think of me in any way other than as a friend, and I know I must earn even that much. I understand that this is not your ideal life, and I do not wish to make it more difficult for you than it already is. My only desire is to help you pass these tests.”
And to stop whoever it was from killing me. I cautiously perched on the edge of my bed. There was still enough distance between us that I felt safe, but even the air that separated us seemed to crackle. “What about love? Don’t you—you know, want someone? Want a family and stuff?”
“I have a family,” he said, but before I could correct myself, he continued. “If you mean children, then no, I have never believed that to be in my future.”
“But is that what you want?”
He smiled faintly. “I have been alone for a very long time. To expect anything else in the years to come would be foolish.”
Despite the fact that he looked only a few years older than me, I couldn’t imagine how old Henry might actually be—wasn’t sure I wanted to know, really. But how could someone live for so long and be alone? I could barely handle the few nights I’d spent at home without my mother. Multiply that by eternity…I couldn’t fathom it.
“Henry?”
“Yes?”
“What happens to you if I don’t pass?”
He was silent for a long moment, his fingers idly running across the silk lining of his robe. “I will fade,” he said quietly. “Someone else will take over my realm, and therefore I will have no reason to exist any longer.”
“So you die.” The gravity of the situation hit me hard, and I stared off to the side, unable to look at him. It wasn’t just my mother’s life that was riding on my ability to pass these tests.
“I fade,” he corrected. “The living die, and their souls remain in the Underworld for eternity. However, my kind do not have souls. We cease to exist completely, without a shred of our former selves remaining. One cannot die if one was never alive to begin with.”
I clenched my fist around the blanket. It was even worse than dying then. “Who?”
He gave me a puzzled look. “Who what?”
“Who gets your job if you give it up?”
“Ah.” He smiled sadly. “My nephew.”
“Who is he? What’s his name? Is he on the council?”
“Yes, he is on the council,” said Henry, “but I am afraid I cannot tell you his name.”
“Why not?” It seemed no one was willing to trust me with the truth in this place, and while I could understand Calliope not giving me the whole story, Henry knew. Henry should’ve told me.
He cleared his throat and at least had the decency to look me in the eye. “Because I fear it would upset you, and you are unhappy enough as it is. I do not wish to make it any worse.”
I fell silent as I tried to think of who it could possibly be that would upset me. No one came to mind. “I don’t understand.”
“You will.”
There was nothing I could say to that, and he must’ve known it, because instead of looking at me expectantly, he returned to his book. I watched him, searching for any sign that he wasn’t human. The angles of his face were too symmetrical to be normal, his smooth skin devoid of even a hint of stubble, the thick, jet-black hair that hung an inch above his shoulders, and the unnerving color of his eyes—it was his eyes that did it, swirling pools of silver that seemed to constantly be moving. In the low light, they almost glowed.
It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that I realized I was staring. Even though I was still annoyed that he wouldn’t trust me with the truth, I wanted to break the tension, so I said the first thing that came to mind. “What do you do during the day? When you’re not here, I mean. Or are you always here?”
“I’m not always here.” He slid a bookmark between the pages again and set his novel aside. “My brothers and sisters and I all have duties we attend to. I rule the dead, so most of my time is spent in the Underworld, overseeing decisions and making sure everything runs smoothly. It’s far more complicated than that, of course, but if you pass, you will learn the ins and outs of what I do.”
