The Goddess Test
Page 71
The grin on Ava’s face was more than worth whatever it would cost me to get into the water again.
After she left that afternoon, Henry and I played cards. Even though I was recovering, I was still destroying him, but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he seemed to enjoy having his backside handed to him, and I was more than happy to oblige.
“I’m going to miss you over the summer,” I said after winning my fifth game in a row. “And beating you at Jacks.”
Henry eyed me as he shuffled the deck. “I will miss you as well.” There was a note of finality in his voice that frightened me. I held out hope that the council would understand and see that sleeping together hadn’t been our fault, but had he spent the past week preparing to say goodbye to me?
“Henry?” I said softly. “Can we play pretend for a little while?”
He didn’t look at me. “Of course.”
I took a deep breath. “Can I visit sometime? I mean, I know I’m supposed to be going out and exploring the world, getting an education, passing high school, all of that, but I figured maybe if I wind up staying in Eden, I could stop by every now and then before September.”
Henry hesitated. “I meant to wait until after the meeting with the council to discuss this with you.”
“Discuss what with me?”
“Your freedom.” He looked up at me, and I stilled. “After all you have been through on account of me, I could not possibly ask you to return in the fall, no matter the council’s decision.”
I tried to hide my hurt, but there was a flash in his eyes that made it clear he noticed. “You don’t want me to come back?”
“If I had my way, you would never leave. But that was not our bargain—and more than that, you have endured a great many hardships because of me. I do not wish to further make your life miserable by forcing you to return. So I am offering you your freedom, no matter what the council decides. Your permanent freedom.”
It took me several seconds to understand what he was saying. He wanted me here, but he felt guilty—because of what? Because of what Calliope did? “But I want to come back,” I blurted, the thought of never seeing him again making my heart race. Maybe he didn’t get it, but Eden Manor was all I had left. “What am I supposed to do if you don’t let me come back? You and Ava and Ella and Sofia and—and—”
I faltered, too choked up to continue, and wiped my eyes. Abandoning his cards, Henry brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. “If you wish to come back, then I would like that very much. It is your choice to make, and that you would choose staying here over living your life…I cannot tell you what that means to me.”
“But I am living my life,” I said miserably. “And I can live my life with you, too. Just because it’s a little unconventional doesn’t mean it isn’t as good as everything else that’s out there. Better, even. Tons better.”
He hesitated. “You are very kind, and it means the world to me that you think that. But if I may say this and hope you do not take it to be any sort of slight…you were not living, Kate. Not with me and not in the real world. You were waiting for your mother to die, and now that that has happened—”
“Now that she’s gone, the only thing I have left is this place, and the only person I have left is you,” I said. “It’ll take more than a knife-wielding murderer to make me give you up.”
Instead of fighting me on it, his face broke out into the first real smile I’d seen from him since I’d died. “Good, then the feeling is mutual.” He held up the deck of cards. “Shall we? I hear the sixth time is the charm.”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you’ll win when hell freezes over.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That could easily be arranged.”
When the council convened the day before the spring equinox, I still wasn’t healed enough to walk on my own. It took both Ava and Ella to help me dress, and by the time we were done, I was so exhausted that I wanted to crawl back into bed.
“Maybe they could wait another day,” said Ava, biting her lip as she eyed me. I sat in the armchair Henry usually occupied, cradling my head in my hands.
“No,” I said with a grimace. “I’m fine. Just give me a minute, would you?”
They’d forced me to wear a white dress, and I was too afraid of popping a stitch to move. The only good thing about these injuries was that a corset was out of the question, but that meant there was very little padding between the fabric and my bandages. One wrong move and I’d be standing in front of the council with my chest covered in blood.
“Would you like me to fetch Henry?” said Ella. She was still keeping her distance from Ava, but since the river incident, she seemed to be making an effort to tolerate her. It probably didn’t help that Theo and Ava were back together again, but Ella was putting on a brave face. I had to give her credit for that.
“No need,” said a deep voice. I pulled my face away from my hands enough to see Henry standing in the doorway. “Girls, you are dismissed.”
They scattered quickly, although Ava paused to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Good luck,” she whispered, and then she was gone.
Henry was by my side before I could sit up straight. “Are you well?”
“I feel like I’m going to puke.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “As do I.” He offered me a hand and I took it, relying on him for balance as I stood. There was no way I was going to make it all the way to the ballroom, where the meeting would be held.
After she left that afternoon, Henry and I played cards. Even though I was recovering, I was still destroying him, but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he seemed to enjoy having his backside handed to him, and I was more than happy to oblige.
“I’m going to miss you over the summer,” I said after winning my fifth game in a row. “And beating you at Jacks.”
Henry eyed me as he shuffled the deck. “I will miss you as well.” There was a note of finality in his voice that frightened me. I held out hope that the council would understand and see that sleeping together hadn’t been our fault, but had he spent the past week preparing to say goodbye to me?
“Henry?” I said softly. “Can we play pretend for a little while?”
He didn’t look at me. “Of course.”
I took a deep breath. “Can I visit sometime? I mean, I know I’m supposed to be going out and exploring the world, getting an education, passing high school, all of that, but I figured maybe if I wind up staying in Eden, I could stop by every now and then before September.”
Henry hesitated. “I meant to wait until after the meeting with the council to discuss this with you.”
“Discuss what with me?”
“Your freedom.” He looked up at me, and I stilled. “After all you have been through on account of me, I could not possibly ask you to return in the fall, no matter the council’s decision.”
I tried to hide my hurt, but there was a flash in his eyes that made it clear he noticed. “You don’t want me to come back?”
“If I had my way, you would never leave. But that was not our bargain—and more than that, you have endured a great many hardships because of me. I do not wish to further make your life miserable by forcing you to return. So I am offering you your freedom, no matter what the council decides. Your permanent freedom.”
It took me several seconds to understand what he was saying. He wanted me here, but he felt guilty—because of what? Because of what Calliope did? “But I want to come back,” I blurted, the thought of never seeing him again making my heart race. Maybe he didn’t get it, but Eden Manor was all I had left. “What am I supposed to do if you don’t let me come back? You and Ava and Ella and Sofia and—and—”
I faltered, too choked up to continue, and wiped my eyes. Abandoning his cards, Henry brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. “If you wish to come back, then I would like that very much. It is your choice to make, and that you would choose staying here over living your life…I cannot tell you what that means to me.”
“But I am living my life,” I said miserably. “And I can live my life with you, too. Just because it’s a little unconventional doesn’t mean it isn’t as good as everything else that’s out there. Better, even. Tons better.”
He hesitated. “You are very kind, and it means the world to me that you think that. But if I may say this and hope you do not take it to be any sort of slight…you were not living, Kate. Not with me and not in the real world. You were waiting for your mother to die, and now that that has happened—”
“Now that she’s gone, the only thing I have left is this place, and the only person I have left is you,” I said. “It’ll take more than a knife-wielding murderer to make me give you up.”
Instead of fighting me on it, his face broke out into the first real smile I’d seen from him since I’d died. “Good, then the feeling is mutual.” He held up the deck of cards. “Shall we? I hear the sixth time is the charm.”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you’ll win when hell freezes over.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That could easily be arranged.”
When the council convened the day before the spring equinox, I still wasn’t healed enough to walk on my own. It took both Ava and Ella to help me dress, and by the time we were done, I was so exhausted that I wanted to crawl back into bed.
“Maybe they could wait another day,” said Ava, biting her lip as she eyed me. I sat in the armchair Henry usually occupied, cradling my head in my hands.
“No,” I said with a grimace. “I’m fine. Just give me a minute, would you?”
They’d forced me to wear a white dress, and I was too afraid of popping a stitch to move. The only good thing about these injuries was that a corset was out of the question, but that meant there was very little padding between the fabric and my bandages. One wrong move and I’d be standing in front of the council with my chest covered in blood.
“Would you like me to fetch Henry?” said Ella. She was still keeping her distance from Ava, but since the river incident, she seemed to be making an effort to tolerate her. It probably didn’t help that Theo and Ava were back together again, but Ella was putting on a brave face. I had to give her credit for that.
“No need,” said a deep voice. I pulled my face away from my hands enough to see Henry standing in the doorway. “Girls, you are dismissed.”
They scattered quickly, although Ava paused to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Good luck,” she whispered, and then she was gone.
Henry was by my side before I could sit up straight. “Are you well?”
“I feel like I’m going to puke.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “As do I.” He offered me a hand and I took it, relying on him for balance as I stood. There was no way I was going to make it all the way to the ballroom, where the meeting would be held.
