The Hating Game
Page 54
“No.”
I bite my thumb and look down the street. Why do I feel like he’s lying?
“Well, I’m beginning to think you’re leaving me horny to make sure I’ll keep coming back here. I’m like a cat. You’re leaving out a saucer of cream.”
Josh laughs, a big proper laugh like I’m hilarious. Delighted, irritated electricity floods me. I’m crackling with it. In this moment, I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.
Fight with me, kiss me. Laugh at me. Tell me if you’re sad. Don’t make me go home.
“We’ll have to see if it’s true. If you’re back tomorrow night, I’ll concede it’s part of a deliberate strategy.” He looks down at me with undisguised pleasure.
The thought of returning didn’t properly occur to me. The following day now glows with promise.
“One more.”
He kisses my cheek and I groan in misery.
“Get outta here, Shortcake. And remember, I don’t want to see you freaking out tomorrow.”
I can’t get my seat belt on properly. I’m so wired it’s like I’m having drug withdrawals. He taps my window to make me lock the door.
I’m halfway home when a scary thought crystallizes.
I can’t wait for work tomorrow.
TODAY HIS SHIRT is the color of a saucer of cream.
Act natural, Lucy. Walk in there like sex on legs. No awkwardness. Go.
He looks at me, my ankle wobbles, and I drop my handbag. The lid of my lunchbox pops off and a tomato rolls across the floor. I drop to my hands and knees and my stiletto heel gets caught on the dangling buckle belt of my coat.
“Crap.” I try to crawl.
“Smooth.” Josh gets up and walks to me.
“Shuddup.”
He unhooks my coat and gathers up my lunch, before holding a hand down to me. I hesitate minutely before I take it, letting him haul me up.
“Can I rewind my entrance?”
He pulls the coat from my shoulders and hangs it up for me.
Mr. Bexley’s door is open and the lights are on. Helene’s a late starter. She’s probably still in bed.
“How was your evening, Lucinda? You look tired.”
My stomach sinks in dismay at his impersonal tone until I look at his face and realize his eyes are lit with mischief. If Mr. Bexley is eavesdropping, he’ll hear nothing out of the ordinary.
This is a dangerous new game, the Act Natural Game, but I’ll give it a try. “Oh, it was nice enough, I guess.”
“Nice. Hmm. Get up to anything interesting?” He’s got the pencil in his hand.
“I sat on the couch.”
He shifts in his chair and I look at his lap.
“Serial killer eyes,” I mouth at him. I sit on the edge of my desk, take out my tube of Flamethrower and begin to apply, using the wall nearest me as a mirror. He looks at my legs with such naked lust I nearly smudge it. “And what did you get up to, Josh?”
“I had a date. At least, I think it was.”
“What’s she like?”
“Clingy. She really threw herself at me.”
I laugh. “Clingy is not an attractive trait. I hope you kicked her out.”
“I guess I sort of did.”
“That’ll learn her.” I begin to gather my hair into a high bun before smoothing down my dress. It’s a fine cream wool knit, stretchy and warm, and I admit I wore it to match his shirt. He likes prissy librarian Lucy? He’s got it today.
He watches my hands. I watch his. They’re white-knuckled.
“Not sure if I’ll see her again, though.” He sounds bored, and he’s clicking his mouse on his computer. When his eyes cut sideways to mine, I flash to last night and my insides clench.
“Maybe take her to your brother’s wedding? Always gratifying to walk into one of those situations with a hot date.”
We both look at each other, and I ease myself slowly into my chair. The Staring Game has never felt so dirty. The phone rings. I look at the caller ID and the word FUCK lights up in neon in my brain.
Josh takes one look at my face. “If it’s him, I’m going to—”
“It’s Julie.”
“A bit early for her, isn’t it? You’re going to have to be firm with her.” The phone continues ringing, and ringing.
“I’ll let it go to voice mail. I’m too tired to deal with this now.”
“You will not.” He dials star-nine and answers my extension. They teach call center operators to smile when they answer a call. People can hear a smile in your voice. Joshua needs to learn this.
“Lucinda Hutton’s phone. Joshua speaking. Hold.” He hits a button, and points at me with his receiver. “Do it. I’m watching you.”
We both watch the hold light flashing.
I’m still that smiling girl in the strawberry patch. Look at me, I’m a good girl. I’m the sweet little thing, adored by everyone. Nothing is too much trouble.
“I want to see you be as strong with other people as you are with me.”
I press the flashing button. “Hi, Julie, how are you?” My ear nearly burns from her deep sigh.
“Hi, Lucy. I’m not well. I’m incredibly tired. I don’t even know why I came in. I’ve just sat down, and already the screen is killing me.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
I lock eyes with Josh. He intensifies his eyes into narrowed scary blue lasers. He’s imbuing me with his powers. I am NOT going to care what excuses or requests she’s going to make. “What can I do for you today, Julie?” Professional, but a hint of warmth in my tone.
“I’m supposed to be working on this thing for Alan, which he’s going to polish up and send up to you.”
“Oh, yes. I need it by close of business.”
Josh gives me a sarcastic thumbs-up.
“Well, I’m having a bit of trouble finding some of the old reports in the network drive. It keeps saying shortcut moved. Anyway, I’ve tried a bunch of things and I think I need to step away, you know?”
“As long as I get it by five, it’s fine.” Josh looks at the ceiling and shrugs. I thought I was being firm there, but he’s unimpressed.
“I was hoping to go home and get it done first thing tomorrow, when I’m fresher.”
“Didn’t you just get here?” Am I going crazy? I recheck the clock.
I bite my thumb and look down the street. Why do I feel like he’s lying?
“Well, I’m beginning to think you’re leaving me horny to make sure I’ll keep coming back here. I’m like a cat. You’re leaving out a saucer of cream.”
Josh laughs, a big proper laugh like I’m hilarious. Delighted, irritated electricity floods me. I’m crackling with it. In this moment, I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.
Fight with me, kiss me. Laugh at me. Tell me if you’re sad. Don’t make me go home.
“We’ll have to see if it’s true. If you’re back tomorrow night, I’ll concede it’s part of a deliberate strategy.” He looks down at me with undisguised pleasure.
The thought of returning didn’t properly occur to me. The following day now glows with promise.
“One more.”
He kisses my cheek and I groan in misery.
“Get outta here, Shortcake. And remember, I don’t want to see you freaking out tomorrow.”
I can’t get my seat belt on properly. I’m so wired it’s like I’m having drug withdrawals. He taps my window to make me lock the door.
I’m halfway home when a scary thought crystallizes.
I can’t wait for work tomorrow.
TODAY HIS SHIRT is the color of a saucer of cream.
Act natural, Lucy. Walk in there like sex on legs. No awkwardness. Go.
He looks at me, my ankle wobbles, and I drop my handbag. The lid of my lunchbox pops off and a tomato rolls across the floor. I drop to my hands and knees and my stiletto heel gets caught on the dangling buckle belt of my coat.
“Crap.” I try to crawl.
“Smooth.” Josh gets up and walks to me.
“Shuddup.”
He unhooks my coat and gathers up my lunch, before holding a hand down to me. I hesitate minutely before I take it, letting him haul me up.
“Can I rewind my entrance?”
He pulls the coat from my shoulders and hangs it up for me.
Mr. Bexley’s door is open and the lights are on. Helene’s a late starter. She’s probably still in bed.
“How was your evening, Lucinda? You look tired.”
My stomach sinks in dismay at his impersonal tone until I look at his face and realize his eyes are lit with mischief. If Mr. Bexley is eavesdropping, he’ll hear nothing out of the ordinary.
This is a dangerous new game, the Act Natural Game, but I’ll give it a try. “Oh, it was nice enough, I guess.”
“Nice. Hmm. Get up to anything interesting?” He’s got the pencil in his hand.
“I sat on the couch.”
He shifts in his chair and I look at his lap.
“Serial killer eyes,” I mouth at him. I sit on the edge of my desk, take out my tube of Flamethrower and begin to apply, using the wall nearest me as a mirror. He looks at my legs with such naked lust I nearly smudge it. “And what did you get up to, Josh?”
“I had a date. At least, I think it was.”
“What’s she like?”
“Clingy. She really threw herself at me.”
I laugh. “Clingy is not an attractive trait. I hope you kicked her out.”
“I guess I sort of did.”
“That’ll learn her.” I begin to gather my hair into a high bun before smoothing down my dress. It’s a fine cream wool knit, stretchy and warm, and I admit I wore it to match his shirt. He likes prissy librarian Lucy? He’s got it today.
He watches my hands. I watch his. They’re white-knuckled.
“Not sure if I’ll see her again, though.” He sounds bored, and he’s clicking his mouse on his computer. When his eyes cut sideways to mine, I flash to last night and my insides clench.
“Maybe take her to your brother’s wedding? Always gratifying to walk into one of those situations with a hot date.”
We both look at each other, and I ease myself slowly into my chair. The Staring Game has never felt so dirty. The phone rings. I look at the caller ID and the word FUCK lights up in neon in my brain.
Josh takes one look at my face. “If it’s him, I’m going to—”
“It’s Julie.”
“A bit early for her, isn’t it? You’re going to have to be firm with her.” The phone continues ringing, and ringing.
“I’ll let it go to voice mail. I’m too tired to deal with this now.”
“You will not.” He dials star-nine and answers my extension. They teach call center operators to smile when they answer a call. People can hear a smile in your voice. Joshua needs to learn this.
“Lucinda Hutton’s phone. Joshua speaking. Hold.” He hits a button, and points at me with his receiver. “Do it. I’m watching you.”
We both watch the hold light flashing.
I’m still that smiling girl in the strawberry patch. Look at me, I’m a good girl. I’m the sweet little thing, adored by everyone. Nothing is too much trouble.
“I want to see you be as strong with other people as you are with me.”
I press the flashing button. “Hi, Julie, how are you?” My ear nearly burns from her deep sigh.
“Hi, Lucy. I’m not well. I’m incredibly tired. I don’t even know why I came in. I’ve just sat down, and already the screen is killing me.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
I lock eyes with Josh. He intensifies his eyes into narrowed scary blue lasers. He’s imbuing me with his powers. I am NOT going to care what excuses or requests she’s going to make. “What can I do for you today, Julie?” Professional, but a hint of warmth in my tone.
“I’m supposed to be working on this thing for Alan, which he’s going to polish up and send up to you.”
“Oh, yes. I need it by close of business.”
Josh gives me a sarcastic thumbs-up.
“Well, I’m having a bit of trouble finding some of the old reports in the network drive. It keeps saying shortcut moved. Anyway, I’ve tried a bunch of things and I think I need to step away, you know?”
“As long as I get it by five, it’s fine.” Josh looks at the ceiling and shrugs. I thought I was being firm there, but he’s unimpressed.
“I was hoping to go home and get it done first thing tomorrow, when I’m fresher.”
“Didn’t you just get here?” Am I going crazy? I recheck the clock.
