The Hook Up
Page 42
I bow over Drew, my face burrowing into his neck, my entire body going so tight it shakes. Weakly, I grasp his shoulders as my h*ps grind against his. I need release. I’m still coming, pleasure tearing through me.
“Drew.” It’s a helpless plea. “Drew…”
On a deep groan, he turns his head, grabs the back of my neck. His kiss is frenzied, messy as he thrusts into me, hard and wild. The orgasm breaks over me like cold fire. I whimper into his mouth. He swallows it down, his breath coming out in fierce exhalations through his nostrils. His entire body shakes, his grip in my hair going tight as he bucks against me. He comes with a bellow that vibrates his frame.
For a long moment, we lay boneless and sweat-slicked. My body rises and falls with his chest as his breathing slows down. Then he holds me against him, one arm wrapped around my shoulders, the other about my hips, and peppers my face with tender kisses. “Baby. You okay? That was…” A luscious shiver goes through him.
“Yeah,” I whisper, “it so was.” Smiling, I play with the ends of his hair and weakly kiss him back. Finally. Finally everything feels right.
Drew presses my hand against his sweaty chest where his heart still beats a fierce rhythm. His voice is whisper-quiet but crystal clear. “My world lives in your palm, Anna.”
And I’ll fill it with all the love I have. We fall asleep that way, him still deep inside me, our bodies so entwined that we’ve become one.
Chapter 33
I HAVE ANNA all to myself for seven days. Seven days of living by what I start to call the holy trinity of “S” sex, sleep, and sustenance. It’s all we really need. My bed is base camp, though we’ve made forays onto the couch, the kitchen counter, and that one time on my weight bench, though I can’t recall how we even got there. I can, however, recall with perfect clarity the way Anna came, how her inner walls clutched me as she cried out. Which makes me horny all over again as I hobble out to the kitchen for more sustenance.
As a guy who has always operated under a schedule, I thought I’d grow antsy, need to get out and about, but I’m loving the break. As long as I don’t think about football, I’m happy. Relaxed. When was the last time I was relaxed? I don’t even remember. I do know one thing; it’s because I’m with Anna. Anna who loves me. God, having her love does me in. It makes me feel as weak as a f**king kitten and as big as a f**king mountain.
As if my thoughts pulled her in, Anna enters the living room. Only she’s carrying her overnight bag. Like that, my stomach bottoms out.
“You’re going?” I think I sound casual, but I can’t be sure. I’m too off balance to gage it.
She plops the bag down on the couch to put her hair in a ponytail. “I need to do some laundry.”
“You can do it here.” Smooth. That didn’t sound at all needy.
She gives me a quick smile. “I know. But I’m kind of sick of these clothes too.”
Right. Well, there goes that argument.
Walking with her usual casual grace, she heads for the kitchen. “After breakfast, I think I’ll head home and get a few things done.”
I flick the back of my nail against my orange juice glass. “Okay.”
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I like my solitude. Anna ought to be able to take off whenever she wants. And I ought to be fine with that. I just know that the moment she walks out of this house, she’ll take the sunshine of my day with her.
A loud, long buzz sounds, and the scent of coffee fills the air. The espresso maker. Gray brought it back earlier, pretending he’d been borrowing it while I was laid up in the hospital, a lie for which I’m still extremely grateful. Especially when Anna squealed over the thing like a kid on Christmas morning and tackled me when I’d told her I had bought it for her.
Anna takes her newly filled cup over to the counter and sits on one of the bar stools. She’s wearing a white muscle shirt and boy short panties. It’s f**king hot. I’m tempted to push the top over her br**sts and suck the sweet tips, but there’s a pit in my stomach that won’t go away.
Oblivious of my souring mood, Anna rakes a tumble of curls from her face and takes a sip of coffee. “Tonight I’m going to go out with Iris and George.” She eyes me, and I don’t miss the hesitation in her expression. “You ought to go out too. Maybe hang with your friends. Dex keeps calling.”
She’s afraid I’ll become a hermit. Too late.
“Subtle, Jones.”
Unrepentant, she grins. “It’s one of my many qualities.”
I snort. “Fine. I’ll go out.” I don’t want to, but I’ll be damned if I’ll give her a reason to start pitying me.
“Good.” She grabs a banana, frowns at it, then puts it down before hoping off the stool. Her pert ass lifts in the air as she rummages around in the depths of the fridge. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
My hand tightens on my glass.
“You can come back here tonight, Anna. It’s fine. You have a key.”
She doesn’t look at me as she helps herself to the yogurt. “Naw. It will be late.” Not something I care about. “And, anyway, I ought to get out of your hair for a while. Give you some space.”
Shit, her hands are moving too quickly, putting away the yogurt, messing with a dishrag, toying with the handle of her spoon. I watch her flutter about, and my heart sinks down into the cavity of my chest.
“Do you need space?” I say this as carefully as I can. But she still freezes like a caught thief and eyes me warily. I feel like we’ve stumbled onto a minefield.
“Do you?” she volleys back.
Despite my unease, a smile pulls at my lips. “Are we going to talk in circles now?”
Some of the starch leaves her shoulders. Her tilted smile mirrors mine. “Maybe. Why don’t you define your idea of space, and I’ll tell you mine.”
This is one of those girl traps, designed to leave you wide open to fall in a hole of your own making. I know it, and she knows it. But her direct gaze tells me I’d better answer or I’ll just fall into yet another hole. Damn female logic. I run a hand through my hair. “‘Space’ would be we do stuff together because we want to be together. We do stuff apart because we want to do stuff apart.”
Slowly she nods, her eyes never leaving mine. “I’d say the same.”
Some of the tension eases from my chest. “To be clear,” I tell her, “being with you is the highlight of my day.”
Anna bites the bottom of her lip, but she can’t hide the pleased expression blooming over her features. “You’re the highlight of my day too.”
It’s my turn to nod, not quite looking at her because I don’t want her to see my relief.
She’s staring at me again. “That isn’t all you want to say though, is it?” She waves an idle hand as if to draw the rest out of me. “Come on, I know there’s more.”
I grip the back of my neck. “Move in with me.” The words are out of my mouth before I even fully process them. And they hang there between us, a detonated smoke bomb that makes her squint at me.
Her mouth opens and closes before a weak “What?” rips from her throat.
I want to cringe. But I don’t back down, don’t look away. “I know you probably have tons of very good, very logical reasons that we shouldn’t live together so soon. Hell, I can think of a dozen right now. But here’s the thing—” my fingers spread wide on the counter, the granite cold beneath my palm “—in the beginning, I moved with caution, not wanting to spook you or push you—”
“And you don’t mind pushing me now?” she cuts in, her voice wry but with a wobbly smile. It’s that smile that gives me some hope that she won’t turn heel and run any second.
“That’s not it. I wasn’t honest with you then. With what I wanted.” I take a step closer, my hand trailing over the counter towards hers. “And everything went to hell.”
Dark shadows creep into her eyes. Guilt. I know this, but I’m not going to take back what I’ve said. I lower my voice, make it gentle, persuasive. “So I figure, I lay everything on the table now. Because, Anna,” my fingers touch her cold ones, and I thread them with mine, holding on tight, “when I said I wanted everything, that’s what I meant. I want to go to sleep with you, to wake up with you. Every day. The thought of you going home tonight, and me sleeping without you? I hate it.”
“You do?”
“You sound surprised.”
Lips slightly parted, she stiffly shakes her head. “No. I…I hate that idea too. I didn’t know if you’d want me to stay or go or…” She trails off looking flustered.
More than a f**king glimmer of hope.
I give her fingers a light squeeze. “I should probably finish stating my intentions.”
“There’s more?” She’s fighting a smile.
“Yeah.” I draw her around the counter to stand in front of me. Her head tilts back as she looks up, and I touch the curve of her cheek with my thumb. My heart pounds against my ribs. I’m going all in. But it’s what I do best. And I’ve learned my lesson; Anna is too important to go at with half-measures.
“One day,” I tell her, “I want to marry you.”
Her whole body gives a reflexive jerk, her mouth dropping open. “Marry me?”
I can’t help but smile at her shock. “Not now. We’re not ready for that yet.” I trace her bottom lip with the tip of my thumb. “But one day. One day, I will ask you and hope that you say yes.” I palm her cheek. “You’re it for me, Anna Marie.”
She steps into my space, her hand landing on my waist while her other hand smoothes over my forearm to clasp tight. My heart squeezes before something deep within eases. She’s searching my face, a small smile breaking over her. “Because sometimes you just know?”
A grin pulls tight at my cheeks. “You have been paying attention.”
And then she’s easing into my embrace, her hands sliding over my chest and around my neck. Everything inside me goes warm as I bend down to meet her lips, but I stop just shy of them. “Is that a yes?”
She halts too, her cheeks plumping on a smile. “You know, you didn’t have to persuade me. I was going to say yes.”
My gut tightens. She snuggles closer, nibbling along my jaw, up to the sensitive corner of my mouth. I feel it at the base of my balls. “You were?” I follow her mouth with mine, trying to capture it, but she’s evading, a smile gracing her lips as she brushes them across mine.
I grasp the curve of her h*ps and pull her hard against me. “Jones.”
“Baylor.” She laughs, and then gives in, her fingers playing with the leather cord around my neck. “Of course I was.” Her thumb caresses the sliver of wood I carved out of my parent’s house. When her eyes find me, they’re wide and deep green. “You’re my home, Drew.”
I let out an unsteady breath. “We’ll be each other’s home.”
TELLING MY FRIENDS that I’m moving in with Drew goes about as well as I expect it to, which is not very. Right in, Iris starts on me.
“Are you f**king crazy?” She follows me into my room, watching as I open my closet and haul out the steamer trunk my mother sent me off to college with. “You just got back together. Why would you move in with him?”
“Because he asked?” I heave the trunk onto my bed. “And because I want to?”
George saunters into the room. “What about Iris? You can’t leave her in a lurch.”
I glance at him before going to my dresser. “You think I’d do that?” It hurts that he does, but I get it; love can make people crazy. “I’ll still pay the rent here until Iris moves out for grad school.”
“So Drew’s gonna be like your sugar daddy?” Iris sneers at the very idea.
“Yeah, because that’s so me.” I roll my eyes. “He owns the house outright and only pays utilities. I’m paying for groceries.” I’d wanted to pay for more, but Drew insisted. His name is on all the bills, and he has the money, so we’d compromised.
Iris plops down on the bed and idly flicks the trunk’s lock. “I get that you’re happy to be back with Drew, Banana, but, come on, you’ve been avoiding commitment like the plague, and now you’re going to move in with him?”
I can’t blame Iris for her skepticism. If I had heard myself even a weeks ago, I’d have thought the same thing. But things change. People grow up. “For months I’ve been resisting letting Drew in, convinced that I’d lose who I am if I did. That he’d crush my heart. But I was the one destroying my soul. I was f**king miserable.”
Even the shadow of that memory hurts. I brush it aside with a deep breath. “I’m happy with him.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to live with him,” she says.
“No, it doesn’t. But if being with him makes me happy, then why stay apart for fear that it might not work? That would be stupid.”
“But you’re so young. Don’t you want to see what the world has to offer?”
As if life is somewhere just around the corner, and I’ll find it if only I keep searching. It’s what we’ve all been promised, an elusive brass ring that’s always just out of reach, and one day, one day it will pop up in front of us. Well, I don’t want a treadmill life. I’ve tried it and it sucks.
I shake my head. “I used to think that if I figured out what I wanted to do with my life, everything would fall into place. Now,” I shrug, “now I’m thinking that happiness is never going to be having the perfect job, house, life. It isn’t a destination, you know? It’s a series of moments. I mean, isn’t that what life is? Moments? The here and now?”
“Drew.” It’s a helpless plea. “Drew…”
On a deep groan, he turns his head, grabs the back of my neck. His kiss is frenzied, messy as he thrusts into me, hard and wild. The orgasm breaks over me like cold fire. I whimper into his mouth. He swallows it down, his breath coming out in fierce exhalations through his nostrils. His entire body shakes, his grip in my hair going tight as he bucks against me. He comes with a bellow that vibrates his frame.
For a long moment, we lay boneless and sweat-slicked. My body rises and falls with his chest as his breathing slows down. Then he holds me against him, one arm wrapped around my shoulders, the other about my hips, and peppers my face with tender kisses. “Baby. You okay? That was…” A luscious shiver goes through him.
“Yeah,” I whisper, “it so was.” Smiling, I play with the ends of his hair and weakly kiss him back. Finally. Finally everything feels right.
Drew presses my hand against his sweaty chest where his heart still beats a fierce rhythm. His voice is whisper-quiet but crystal clear. “My world lives in your palm, Anna.”
And I’ll fill it with all the love I have. We fall asleep that way, him still deep inside me, our bodies so entwined that we’ve become one.
Chapter 33
I HAVE ANNA all to myself for seven days. Seven days of living by what I start to call the holy trinity of “S” sex, sleep, and sustenance. It’s all we really need. My bed is base camp, though we’ve made forays onto the couch, the kitchen counter, and that one time on my weight bench, though I can’t recall how we even got there. I can, however, recall with perfect clarity the way Anna came, how her inner walls clutched me as she cried out. Which makes me horny all over again as I hobble out to the kitchen for more sustenance.
As a guy who has always operated under a schedule, I thought I’d grow antsy, need to get out and about, but I’m loving the break. As long as I don’t think about football, I’m happy. Relaxed. When was the last time I was relaxed? I don’t even remember. I do know one thing; it’s because I’m with Anna. Anna who loves me. God, having her love does me in. It makes me feel as weak as a f**king kitten and as big as a f**king mountain.
As if my thoughts pulled her in, Anna enters the living room. Only she’s carrying her overnight bag. Like that, my stomach bottoms out.
“You’re going?” I think I sound casual, but I can’t be sure. I’m too off balance to gage it.
She plops the bag down on the couch to put her hair in a ponytail. “I need to do some laundry.”
“You can do it here.” Smooth. That didn’t sound at all needy.
She gives me a quick smile. “I know. But I’m kind of sick of these clothes too.”
Right. Well, there goes that argument.
Walking with her usual casual grace, she heads for the kitchen. “After breakfast, I think I’ll head home and get a few things done.”
I flick the back of my nail against my orange juice glass. “Okay.”
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I like my solitude. Anna ought to be able to take off whenever she wants. And I ought to be fine with that. I just know that the moment she walks out of this house, she’ll take the sunshine of my day with her.
A loud, long buzz sounds, and the scent of coffee fills the air. The espresso maker. Gray brought it back earlier, pretending he’d been borrowing it while I was laid up in the hospital, a lie for which I’m still extremely grateful. Especially when Anna squealed over the thing like a kid on Christmas morning and tackled me when I’d told her I had bought it for her.
Anna takes her newly filled cup over to the counter and sits on one of the bar stools. She’s wearing a white muscle shirt and boy short panties. It’s f**king hot. I’m tempted to push the top over her br**sts and suck the sweet tips, but there’s a pit in my stomach that won’t go away.
Oblivious of my souring mood, Anna rakes a tumble of curls from her face and takes a sip of coffee. “Tonight I’m going to go out with Iris and George.” She eyes me, and I don’t miss the hesitation in her expression. “You ought to go out too. Maybe hang with your friends. Dex keeps calling.”
She’s afraid I’ll become a hermit. Too late.
“Subtle, Jones.”
Unrepentant, she grins. “It’s one of my many qualities.”
I snort. “Fine. I’ll go out.” I don’t want to, but I’ll be damned if I’ll give her a reason to start pitying me.
“Good.” She grabs a banana, frowns at it, then puts it down before hoping off the stool. Her pert ass lifts in the air as she rummages around in the depths of the fridge. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
My hand tightens on my glass.
“You can come back here tonight, Anna. It’s fine. You have a key.”
She doesn’t look at me as she helps herself to the yogurt. “Naw. It will be late.” Not something I care about. “And, anyway, I ought to get out of your hair for a while. Give you some space.”
Shit, her hands are moving too quickly, putting away the yogurt, messing with a dishrag, toying with the handle of her spoon. I watch her flutter about, and my heart sinks down into the cavity of my chest.
“Do you need space?” I say this as carefully as I can. But she still freezes like a caught thief and eyes me warily. I feel like we’ve stumbled onto a minefield.
“Do you?” she volleys back.
Despite my unease, a smile pulls at my lips. “Are we going to talk in circles now?”
Some of the starch leaves her shoulders. Her tilted smile mirrors mine. “Maybe. Why don’t you define your idea of space, and I’ll tell you mine.”
This is one of those girl traps, designed to leave you wide open to fall in a hole of your own making. I know it, and she knows it. But her direct gaze tells me I’d better answer or I’ll just fall into yet another hole. Damn female logic. I run a hand through my hair. “‘Space’ would be we do stuff together because we want to be together. We do stuff apart because we want to do stuff apart.”
Slowly she nods, her eyes never leaving mine. “I’d say the same.”
Some of the tension eases from my chest. “To be clear,” I tell her, “being with you is the highlight of my day.”
Anna bites the bottom of her lip, but she can’t hide the pleased expression blooming over her features. “You’re the highlight of my day too.”
It’s my turn to nod, not quite looking at her because I don’t want her to see my relief.
She’s staring at me again. “That isn’t all you want to say though, is it?” She waves an idle hand as if to draw the rest out of me. “Come on, I know there’s more.”
I grip the back of my neck. “Move in with me.” The words are out of my mouth before I even fully process them. And they hang there between us, a detonated smoke bomb that makes her squint at me.
Her mouth opens and closes before a weak “What?” rips from her throat.
I want to cringe. But I don’t back down, don’t look away. “I know you probably have tons of very good, very logical reasons that we shouldn’t live together so soon. Hell, I can think of a dozen right now. But here’s the thing—” my fingers spread wide on the counter, the granite cold beneath my palm “—in the beginning, I moved with caution, not wanting to spook you or push you—”
“And you don’t mind pushing me now?” she cuts in, her voice wry but with a wobbly smile. It’s that smile that gives me some hope that she won’t turn heel and run any second.
“That’s not it. I wasn’t honest with you then. With what I wanted.” I take a step closer, my hand trailing over the counter towards hers. “And everything went to hell.”
Dark shadows creep into her eyes. Guilt. I know this, but I’m not going to take back what I’ve said. I lower my voice, make it gentle, persuasive. “So I figure, I lay everything on the table now. Because, Anna,” my fingers touch her cold ones, and I thread them with mine, holding on tight, “when I said I wanted everything, that’s what I meant. I want to go to sleep with you, to wake up with you. Every day. The thought of you going home tonight, and me sleeping without you? I hate it.”
“You do?”
“You sound surprised.”
Lips slightly parted, she stiffly shakes her head. “No. I…I hate that idea too. I didn’t know if you’d want me to stay or go or…” She trails off looking flustered.
More than a f**king glimmer of hope.
I give her fingers a light squeeze. “I should probably finish stating my intentions.”
“There’s more?” She’s fighting a smile.
“Yeah.” I draw her around the counter to stand in front of me. Her head tilts back as she looks up, and I touch the curve of her cheek with my thumb. My heart pounds against my ribs. I’m going all in. But it’s what I do best. And I’ve learned my lesson; Anna is too important to go at with half-measures.
“One day,” I tell her, “I want to marry you.”
Her whole body gives a reflexive jerk, her mouth dropping open. “Marry me?”
I can’t help but smile at her shock. “Not now. We’re not ready for that yet.” I trace her bottom lip with the tip of my thumb. “But one day. One day, I will ask you and hope that you say yes.” I palm her cheek. “You’re it for me, Anna Marie.”
She steps into my space, her hand landing on my waist while her other hand smoothes over my forearm to clasp tight. My heart squeezes before something deep within eases. She’s searching my face, a small smile breaking over her. “Because sometimes you just know?”
A grin pulls tight at my cheeks. “You have been paying attention.”
And then she’s easing into my embrace, her hands sliding over my chest and around my neck. Everything inside me goes warm as I bend down to meet her lips, but I stop just shy of them. “Is that a yes?”
She halts too, her cheeks plumping on a smile. “You know, you didn’t have to persuade me. I was going to say yes.”
My gut tightens. She snuggles closer, nibbling along my jaw, up to the sensitive corner of my mouth. I feel it at the base of my balls. “You were?” I follow her mouth with mine, trying to capture it, but she’s evading, a smile gracing her lips as she brushes them across mine.
I grasp the curve of her h*ps and pull her hard against me. “Jones.”
“Baylor.” She laughs, and then gives in, her fingers playing with the leather cord around my neck. “Of course I was.” Her thumb caresses the sliver of wood I carved out of my parent’s house. When her eyes find me, they’re wide and deep green. “You’re my home, Drew.”
I let out an unsteady breath. “We’ll be each other’s home.”
TELLING MY FRIENDS that I’m moving in with Drew goes about as well as I expect it to, which is not very. Right in, Iris starts on me.
“Are you f**king crazy?” She follows me into my room, watching as I open my closet and haul out the steamer trunk my mother sent me off to college with. “You just got back together. Why would you move in with him?”
“Because he asked?” I heave the trunk onto my bed. “And because I want to?”
George saunters into the room. “What about Iris? You can’t leave her in a lurch.”
I glance at him before going to my dresser. “You think I’d do that?” It hurts that he does, but I get it; love can make people crazy. “I’ll still pay the rent here until Iris moves out for grad school.”
“So Drew’s gonna be like your sugar daddy?” Iris sneers at the very idea.
“Yeah, because that’s so me.” I roll my eyes. “He owns the house outright and only pays utilities. I’m paying for groceries.” I’d wanted to pay for more, but Drew insisted. His name is on all the bills, and he has the money, so we’d compromised.
Iris plops down on the bed and idly flicks the trunk’s lock. “I get that you’re happy to be back with Drew, Banana, but, come on, you’ve been avoiding commitment like the plague, and now you’re going to move in with him?”
I can’t blame Iris for her skepticism. If I had heard myself even a weeks ago, I’d have thought the same thing. But things change. People grow up. “For months I’ve been resisting letting Drew in, convinced that I’d lose who I am if I did. That he’d crush my heart. But I was the one destroying my soul. I was f**king miserable.”
Even the shadow of that memory hurts. I brush it aside with a deep breath. “I’m happy with him.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to live with him,” she says.
“No, it doesn’t. But if being with him makes me happy, then why stay apart for fear that it might not work? That would be stupid.”
“But you’re so young. Don’t you want to see what the world has to offer?”
As if life is somewhere just around the corner, and I’ll find it if only I keep searching. It’s what we’ve all been promised, an elusive brass ring that’s always just out of reach, and one day, one day it will pop up in front of us. Well, I don’t want a treadmill life. I’ve tried it and it sucks.
I shake my head. “I used to think that if I figured out what I wanted to do with my life, everything would fall into place. Now,” I shrug, “now I’m thinking that happiness is never going to be having the perfect job, house, life. It isn’t a destination, you know? It’s a series of moments. I mean, isn’t that what life is? Moments? The here and now?”
