The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 111
The same blight was in the other being, the one whose nature called to everything dark and wild. But something more had been done to him; something terrible. His soul had been battered and crushed, bound with sharp-edged chains, then forced into a too-small vessel. Constant agony. He had gone down on one knee, staring at me through dull eyes and lank, sweat-soaked hair. Even his own panting caused him pain.
It was an obscenity. But a greater obscenity was the fact that the chains, when I followed them to their source, were part of me. So were three other leashes, one of which led to the neck of the creature who had called me Mother.
Revolted, I tore the chains away from my chest and willed them to shatter.
The three creatures to my left all gasped, folding in on themselves as power returned to them. Their reaction was nothing, however, compared to that of the dark being. For an instant he did not move, only widening his eyes as the chains loosened and fell away.
Then he flung his head back and screamed, and all existence shifted. On this plane, this manifested as a single, titanic concussion of sound and vibration. All sight vanished from the world, replaced by a darkness profound enough to drive weaker souls mad if it lasted for more than a heartbeat. It passed even more quickly than that, replaced by something new.
Balance: I felt its return like the setting of a dislocated joint. Out of Three had the universe been formed. For the first time in an age, Three walked again.
When all was still, I saw that my dark one was whole. Where once restless shadows had flickered in his wake, now he shone with an impossible negative radiance, black as the Maelstrom. Had I thought him merely beautiful before? Ah, but now there was no human flesh to filter his cool majesty. His eyes glowed blue-black with a million mysteries, terrifying and exquisite. When he smiled, all the world shivered, and I was not immune.
Yet this shook me on an entirely different level, because suddenly memory surged through me. They were pallid, these memories, as of something half-forgottenbut they pushed at me, demanding acknowledgment, until I made a sound and shook my head and batted at the air in protest. They were part of me, and though I understood now that names were as ephemeral as form for my kind, those memories insisted upon giving the dark creature a name: Nahadoth.
And the bright one: Itempas.
And me
I frowned in confusion. My hands rose in front of my face, and I stared at them as if I had never seen them. In a way, I had not. Within me was the gray light I had so hated before, transformed now into all the colors that had been stolen from existence. Through my skin I could see those colors dancing along my veins and nerves, no less powerful for being hidden. Not my power. But it was my flesh, wasnt it? Who was I?
Yeine, said Nahadoth in a tone of wonder.
A shudder passed through me, the same feeling of balance Id had a moment before. Suddenly I understood. It was my flesh, and my power, too. I was what mortal life had made me, what Enefa had made me, but all that was in the past. From henceforth I could be whomever I wanted.
Yes, I said, and smiled at him. That is my name.
* * *
Other changes were necessary.
Nahadoth and I turned to face Itempas, who watched us with eyes as hard as topaz.
Well, Naha, he said, though the hate in his eyes was all for me. I must congratulate you; this is a fine coup. I thought killing the girl would be sufficient. Now I see I should have obliterated her entirely.
That would have taken more power than you possess, I said. A frown flickered across Itempass face. He was so easy to read; did he realize that? He still thought of me as a mortal, and mortals were insignificant to him.
You arent Enefa, he snapped.
No, Im not. I could not help smiling. Do you know why Enefas soul lingered all these years? It wasnt because of the Stone.
His frown deepened with annoyance. What a prickly creature he was. What did Naha see in him? No, that was jealousy speaking. Dangerous. I would not repeat the past.
The cycle of life and death flows from me and through me, I said, touching my breast. Within it, somethingnot quite a heartbeat strong and even. Even Enefa never truly understood this about herself. Perhaps she was always meant to die at some point; and now, perhaps I am the only one of us who will never be truly immortal. But by the same token, neither can I truly die. Destroy me and some part will always linger. My soul, my flesh, perhaps only my memorybut it will be enough to bring me back.
Then I simply wasnt thorough enough, Itempas said, and his tone promised dire things. Ill be sure to rectify that next time.
Nahadoth stepped forward. The dark nimbus that surrounded him made a faint crackling sound as he moved, and white flecksmoisture frozen out of the airdrifted to the floor in his wake.
It was an obscenity. But a greater obscenity was the fact that the chains, when I followed them to their source, were part of me. So were three other leashes, one of which led to the neck of the creature who had called me Mother.
Revolted, I tore the chains away from my chest and willed them to shatter.
The three creatures to my left all gasped, folding in on themselves as power returned to them. Their reaction was nothing, however, compared to that of the dark being. For an instant he did not move, only widening his eyes as the chains loosened and fell away.
Then he flung his head back and screamed, and all existence shifted. On this plane, this manifested as a single, titanic concussion of sound and vibration. All sight vanished from the world, replaced by a darkness profound enough to drive weaker souls mad if it lasted for more than a heartbeat. It passed even more quickly than that, replaced by something new.
Balance: I felt its return like the setting of a dislocated joint. Out of Three had the universe been formed. For the first time in an age, Three walked again.
When all was still, I saw that my dark one was whole. Where once restless shadows had flickered in his wake, now he shone with an impossible negative radiance, black as the Maelstrom. Had I thought him merely beautiful before? Ah, but now there was no human flesh to filter his cool majesty. His eyes glowed blue-black with a million mysteries, terrifying and exquisite. When he smiled, all the world shivered, and I was not immune.
Yet this shook me on an entirely different level, because suddenly memory surged through me. They were pallid, these memories, as of something half-forgottenbut they pushed at me, demanding acknowledgment, until I made a sound and shook my head and batted at the air in protest. They were part of me, and though I understood now that names were as ephemeral as form for my kind, those memories insisted upon giving the dark creature a name: Nahadoth.
And the bright one: Itempas.
And me
I frowned in confusion. My hands rose in front of my face, and I stared at them as if I had never seen them. In a way, I had not. Within me was the gray light I had so hated before, transformed now into all the colors that had been stolen from existence. Through my skin I could see those colors dancing along my veins and nerves, no less powerful for being hidden. Not my power. But it was my flesh, wasnt it? Who was I?
Yeine, said Nahadoth in a tone of wonder.
A shudder passed through me, the same feeling of balance Id had a moment before. Suddenly I understood. It was my flesh, and my power, too. I was what mortal life had made me, what Enefa had made me, but all that was in the past. From henceforth I could be whomever I wanted.
Yes, I said, and smiled at him. That is my name.
* * *
Other changes were necessary.
Nahadoth and I turned to face Itempas, who watched us with eyes as hard as topaz.
Well, Naha, he said, though the hate in his eyes was all for me. I must congratulate you; this is a fine coup. I thought killing the girl would be sufficient. Now I see I should have obliterated her entirely.
That would have taken more power than you possess, I said. A frown flickered across Itempass face. He was so easy to read; did he realize that? He still thought of me as a mortal, and mortals were insignificant to him.
You arent Enefa, he snapped.
No, Im not. I could not help smiling. Do you know why Enefas soul lingered all these years? It wasnt because of the Stone.
His frown deepened with annoyance. What a prickly creature he was. What did Naha see in him? No, that was jealousy speaking. Dangerous. I would not repeat the past.
The cycle of life and death flows from me and through me, I said, touching my breast. Within it, somethingnot quite a heartbeat strong and even. Even Enefa never truly understood this about herself. Perhaps she was always meant to die at some point; and now, perhaps I am the only one of us who will never be truly immortal. But by the same token, neither can I truly die. Destroy me and some part will always linger. My soul, my flesh, perhaps only my memorybut it will be enough to bring me back.
Then I simply wasnt thorough enough, Itempas said, and his tone promised dire things. Ill be sure to rectify that next time.
Nahadoth stepped forward. The dark nimbus that surrounded him made a faint crackling sound as he moved, and white flecksmoisture frozen out of the airdrifted to the floor in his wake.
