The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 82
Sieh struggled to sit up, but I could see in his movements how weak he was. I moved to help, but Zhakkarn had him, bracing his back with one big hand. Amazing, Yeine, Sieh said. You opened the walls by yourself? Im impressed.
Can I help you? I asked. Somehow?
Play with me.
Play But I trailed off as Zhakkarn caught my eye with a stern look. I thought a moment, then stretched out my hands, palms up. Put your hands over mine.
He did so. His hands were larger than mine, and they shook like an old mans. So much wrongness. But he grinned. Think youre fast enough?
I slapped at his hands, and scored. He moved so slowly that I couldve recited a poem in the process. Apparently I am.
Beginners luck. Lets see you do it again. I slapped at his hands again. He moved faster this time; I almost missed. Ha! All right, third times the charm. I slapped again, and this time did miss.
Surprised, I looked up at him. He grinned, visibly younger, though not by much. A year, perhaps. See? I told you. Youre slow.
I could not help smiling as I understood. Do you think you might be up for tag?
It was midnight. My body wanted sleep, not games, which made me sluggish. That worked in Siehs favor, especially once he recovered enough to actually run. Then he chased me all over the chamber, amusing himself since I presented very little real challenge. It was doing him such noticeable good that I kept at it until he finally called a halt and we both flopped on the floor, panting. He looked, at last, normala spindly boy of nine or ten, beautiful and carefree. I no longer questioned why I loved him.
Well, that was fun, Sieh said at last. He sat up, stretched, and began beckoning the dead spheres to himself. They rolled across the floor to him, where he picked them up, petted them fondly, then lifted them into the air, giving each a practiced twist before releasing it to float away. So whats in the chest?
I glanced at Zhakkarn, who had not joined in our play. I suspected childrens games did not mesh well with the essence of battle. She nodded to me once, and this time it was approving. I flushed and looked away.
Letters, I said, putting my hand on my mothers chest. They are I hesitated, inexplicably reticent. My fathers letters to my mother, and some unsent drafts from her to him. I think I swallowed. My throat was suddenly tight, and my eyes stung. There is no logic to grief.
Sieh ignored me, brushing my hand out of the way before opening the chest. I regained my composure while he took out each letter, skimmed it, and laid it on the ground, eventually standing up to enlarge the pattern. I had no idea what he was doing as he finally set the last letter into the corner of a great square some five paces by five, with a smaller square off to the side for my mothers letters. Then he stood and folded his arms to stare down at the whole mess.
There are some missing, said Zhakkarn. I started to find her looming behind me, gazing down at the pattern as well.
Puzzled, I went to look myself, but could not read either my mothers fine script or my fathers more sprawling hand from this distance. How can you tell?
They both refer to prior letters, Zhakkarn said, pointing here and there at certain pages.
And the pattern is broken in too many places, Sieh added, stepping lightly between the pages to crouch and peer more closely at the letters. Both of them were creatures of habit, your parents. Once a week they wrote, regular as clockwork, over the span of a year. But there are sixno, seven weeks missing. No apologies after the missing weeks, and that is where I see references to the prior letters. He glanced back at me over his shoulder. Did anyone besides you know this chest was there? Wait, no, its been twenty years; half the palace mightve known.
I shook my head, frowning. They were hidden. The place seemed undisturbed
That might only mean it happened so long ago that the dust had time to settle. Sieh straightened, turning to me. What is it you were expecting to find here?
Viraine I set my jaw. Viraine says he was my mothers lover.
Sieh raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Zhakkarn. Im not certain I would use any part of the word love in what she did to him.
In the face of such casual confirmation, I could not protest. I sat down heavily.
Sieh flopped down on his belly beside me, propping himself on his elbows. What? Half of Sky is in bed with the other half at any given time.
I shook my head. Nothing. Its just a bit much to take.
Hes not your father or anything like that, if youre worried.
I rolled my eyes and raised my brown Darre hand. Im not.
Pleasure is often used as a weapon, Zhakkarn said. Theres no love in that.
I frowned at her, surprised by this notion. I still did not like the idea of my mother lying with Viraine, but it helped to think of it as strategy. But what had she hoped to gain? What did Viraine know that no one else in Sky knew? Or rather, what would the younger, smitten Virainenew to Sky, overconfident, eager to pleasehave been more likely to say than any other Arameri?
Can I help you? I asked. Somehow?
Play with me.
Play But I trailed off as Zhakkarn caught my eye with a stern look. I thought a moment, then stretched out my hands, palms up. Put your hands over mine.
He did so. His hands were larger than mine, and they shook like an old mans. So much wrongness. But he grinned. Think youre fast enough?
I slapped at his hands, and scored. He moved so slowly that I couldve recited a poem in the process. Apparently I am.
Beginners luck. Lets see you do it again. I slapped at his hands again. He moved faster this time; I almost missed. Ha! All right, third times the charm. I slapped again, and this time did miss.
Surprised, I looked up at him. He grinned, visibly younger, though not by much. A year, perhaps. See? I told you. Youre slow.
I could not help smiling as I understood. Do you think you might be up for tag?
It was midnight. My body wanted sleep, not games, which made me sluggish. That worked in Siehs favor, especially once he recovered enough to actually run. Then he chased me all over the chamber, amusing himself since I presented very little real challenge. It was doing him such noticeable good that I kept at it until he finally called a halt and we both flopped on the floor, panting. He looked, at last, normala spindly boy of nine or ten, beautiful and carefree. I no longer questioned why I loved him.
Well, that was fun, Sieh said at last. He sat up, stretched, and began beckoning the dead spheres to himself. They rolled across the floor to him, where he picked them up, petted them fondly, then lifted them into the air, giving each a practiced twist before releasing it to float away. So whats in the chest?
I glanced at Zhakkarn, who had not joined in our play. I suspected childrens games did not mesh well with the essence of battle. She nodded to me once, and this time it was approving. I flushed and looked away.
Letters, I said, putting my hand on my mothers chest. They are I hesitated, inexplicably reticent. My fathers letters to my mother, and some unsent drafts from her to him. I think I swallowed. My throat was suddenly tight, and my eyes stung. There is no logic to grief.
Sieh ignored me, brushing my hand out of the way before opening the chest. I regained my composure while he took out each letter, skimmed it, and laid it on the ground, eventually standing up to enlarge the pattern. I had no idea what he was doing as he finally set the last letter into the corner of a great square some five paces by five, with a smaller square off to the side for my mothers letters. Then he stood and folded his arms to stare down at the whole mess.
There are some missing, said Zhakkarn. I started to find her looming behind me, gazing down at the pattern as well.
Puzzled, I went to look myself, but could not read either my mothers fine script or my fathers more sprawling hand from this distance. How can you tell?
They both refer to prior letters, Zhakkarn said, pointing here and there at certain pages.
And the pattern is broken in too many places, Sieh added, stepping lightly between the pages to crouch and peer more closely at the letters. Both of them were creatures of habit, your parents. Once a week they wrote, regular as clockwork, over the span of a year. But there are sixno, seven weeks missing. No apologies after the missing weeks, and that is where I see references to the prior letters. He glanced back at me over his shoulder. Did anyone besides you know this chest was there? Wait, no, its been twenty years; half the palace mightve known.
I shook my head, frowning. They were hidden. The place seemed undisturbed
That might only mean it happened so long ago that the dust had time to settle. Sieh straightened, turning to me. What is it you were expecting to find here?
Viraine I set my jaw. Viraine says he was my mothers lover.
Sieh raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Zhakkarn. Im not certain I would use any part of the word love in what she did to him.
In the face of such casual confirmation, I could not protest. I sat down heavily.
Sieh flopped down on his belly beside me, propping himself on his elbows. What? Half of Sky is in bed with the other half at any given time.
I shook my head. Nothing. Its just a bit much to take.
Hes not your father or anything like that, if youre worried.
I rolled my eyes and raised my brown Darre hand. Im not.
Pleasure is often used as a weapon, Zhakkarn said. Theres no love in that.
I frowned at her, surprised by this notion. I still did not like the idea of my mother lying with Viraine, but it helped to think of it as strategy. But what had she hoped to gain? What did Viraine know that no one else in Sky knew? Or rather, what would the younger, smitten Virainenew to Sky, overconfident, eager to pleasehave been more likely to say than any other Arameri?
