The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 93
Then we fed each others hunger. Wherever I wanted to be touched, he touched; I dont know how he knew. Whenever I touched him, there was a delay. I would cup emptiness before it became a smooth muscled arm. I would wrap my legs around nothing and only then find hips settled there, taut with ready energy. In this way I shaped him, making him suit my fantasies; in this way he chose to be shaped. When heavy, thick warmth pushed into me, I had no idea whether this was a penis or some entirely different phallus that only gods possessed. I suspect the latter, since no mere penis can fill a womans body the way he filled mine. Size had nothing to do with it. This time he let me scream.
Yeine Through the haze of my own body heat I was aware of few things. The clouds, racing across the stars. The black lines, webbing the rooms ceiling, widening and melding into one great yawning abyss. The rising urgency of Nahadoths movements. There was pain now, because I wanted it. Yeine. Open yourself to me.
I had no idea what he meant; I could not think. But he gripped my hair and slid a hand under my hips, pulling me tighter against him in a way that sent me spiraling again. Yeine!
Such need in him. Such woundstwo of them, raw and unhealing, for two lost lovers. So much more than one mortal girl could ever satisfy.
And yet in my madness, I tried. I couldnt; I was only human. But for that moment I yearned to be more, give more, because I loved him.
I loved him.
Nahadoth arched up, away from me. In the last starlight I caught a glimpse of a smooth, perfect body, taut-muscled and sleek with sweat all the way down to where it joined with mine. He had flung back his hair in an arc. His face was all tight-clenched eyes and open mouth and that delicious near-agony expression men make when the moment strikes. The black lines joined, and nothingness enclosed us.
Then we fell.
no, no, we flew, not downward but forward, into the dark. There were streaks within this darkness, thin random lines of white and gold and red and blue. I put out my hand in fascination and snatched it back when something stung the fingertips. I looked and found them wet with glimmering stuff that spun with tiny orbiting motes. Then Nahadoth cried out, his body shuddering, and now we went up
past endless stars, past countless worlds, through layers of light and glowing cloud. Up and up we went, our speed impossible, our size incomprehensible. We left the light behind and kept going, passing through stranger things than mere worlds. Geometric shapes that twisted and gibbered. A white landscape of frozen explosions. Shivering lines of intention that turned to chase us. Vast, whalelike beings with terrifying eyes and the faces of long-lost friends.
I closed my eyes. I had to. Yet the images continued, because in this place I had no eyelids to close. I was immense, and still growing. I had a million legs, two million arms. I dont know what I became in that place Nahadoth took me, because there are things no mortal is meant to do or be or comprehend, and I encompassed all of them.
Something familiar: that darkness which is Nahadoths quintessence. It surrounded me, pressed in, until I had no choice but to yield to it. I felt things in mesanity? self?stretch, growing so taut that a touch would break them. This was the end, then. I was not afraid, not even when I became aware of a sound: a titanic, awful roar. I cannot describe it except to say something of that roar was in Nahadoths voice as he shouted again. I knew then that his ecstasy had taken us beyond the universe, and now we approached the Maelstrom, birthplace of gods. It would tear me apart.
Then, just when the roar had become so terrible that I knew I could bear no more, we stopped. Hovered, pent.
And then we fell again through gibbering strangeness and layered dark and whirlpools of light and dancing globes toward one globe in particular, blue-green and beautiful. There was a new roaring as we streaked down through air, trailing white-hot fire. Something glowing and pale reared up, puny then enormous, all spikes and white stone and treacherySky, it was Skyand it swallowed us whole.
I think I screamed again as, naked, skin steaming, I smashed into my bed. The shock wave of impact swept the room; the sound of it was the Maelstrom come to earth. I knew no more.
25
A Chance
HE SHOULDVE KILLED ME THAT NIGHT. It would have been easier.
Thats selfish of you.
What?
He gave you his body. He gave you pleasure no mortal lover can match. He fought his own nature to keep you alive, and you wish he hadnt bothered.
I didnt mean
Yes, you did. Oh, child. You think you love him? You think youre worthy of his love?
I cant speak for him. But I know what I feel.
Dont be a
And I know what I hear. Jealousy does not become you.
What?
This is why youre so angry with me, isnt it? Youre just like Itempas, you cant bear to share
Yeine Through the haze of my own body heat I was aware of few things. The clouds, racing across the stars. The black lines, webbing the rooms ceiling, widening and melding into one great yawning abyss. The rising urgency of Nahadoths movements. There was pain now, because I wanted it. Yeine. Open yourself to me.
I had no idea what he meant; I could not think. But he gripped my hair and slid a hand under my hips, pulling me tighter against him in a way that sent me spiraling again. Yeine!
Such need in him. Such woundstwo of them, raw and unhealing, for two lost lovers. So much more than one mortal girl could ever satisfy.
And yet in my madness, I tried. I couldnt; I was only human. But for that moment I yearned to be more, give more, because I loved him.
I loved him.
Nahadoth arched up, away from me. In the last starlight I caught a glimpse of a smooth, perfect body, taut-muscled and sleek with sweat all the way down to where it joined with mine. He had flung back his hair in an arc. His face was all tight-clenched eyes and open mouth and that delicious near-agony expression men make when the moment strikes. The black lines joined, and nothingness enclosed us.
Then we fell.
no, no, we flew, not downward but forward, into the dark. There were streaks within this darkness, thin random lines of white and gold and red and blue. I put out my hand in fascination and snatched it back when something stung the fingertips. I looked and found them wet with glimmering stuff that spun with tiny orbiting motes. Then Nahadoth cried out, his body shuddering, and now we went up
past endless stars, past countless worlds, through layers of light and glowing cloud. Up and up we went, our speed impossible, our size incomprehensible. We left the light behind and kept going, passing through stranger things than mere worlds. Geometric shapes that twisted and gibbered. A white landscape of frozen explosions. Shivering lines of intention that turned to chase us. Vast, whalelike beings with terrifying eyes and the faces of long-lost friends.
I closed my eyes. I had to. Yet the images continued, because in this place I had no eyelids to close. I was immense, and still growing. I had a million legs, two million arms. I dont know what I became in that place Nahadoth took me, because there are things no mortal is meant to do or be or comprehend, and I encompassed all of them.
Something familiar: that darkness which is Nahadoths quintessence. It surrounded me, pressed in, until I had no choice but to yield to it. I felt things in mesanity? self?stretch, growing so taut that a touch would break them. This was the end, then. I was not afraid, not even when I became aware of a sound: a titanic, awful roar. I cannot describe it except to say something of that roar was in Nahadoths voice as he shouted again. I knew then that his ecstasy had taken us beyond the universe, and now we approached the Maelstrom, birthplace of gods. It would tear me apart.
Then, just when the roar had become so terrible that I knew I could bear no more, we stopped. Hovered, pent.
And then we fell again through gibbering strangeness and layered dark and whirlpools of light and dancing globes toward one globe in particular, blue-green and beautiful. There was a new roaring as we streaked down through air, trailing white-hot fire. Something glowing and pale reared up, puny then enormous, all spikes and white stone and treacherySky, it was Skyand it swallowed us whole.
I think I screamed again as, naked, skin steaming, I smashed into my bed. The shock wave of impact swept the room; the sound of it was the Maelstrom come to earth. I knew no more.
25
A Chance
HE SHOULDVE KILLED ME THAT NIGHT. It would have been easier.
Thats selfish of you.
What?
He gave you his body. He gave you pleasure no mortal lover can match. He fought his own nature to keep you alive, and you wish he hadnt bothered.
I didnt mean
Yes, you did. Oh, child. You think you love him? You think youre worthy of his love?
I cant speak for him. But I know what I feel.
Dont be a
And I know what I hear. Jealousy does not become you.
What?
This is why youre so angry with me, isnt it? Youre just like Itempas, you cant bear to share
