The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 99
What was that? I asked, when I had recovered somewhat.
Me, he said. Of course.
What do I taste like?
Sieh sighed, snuggling against my shoulder, his arms looping around my waist. Soft, misty places full of sharp edges and hidden colors.
I could not help it; I giggled. I felt light-headed, like Id drunk too much of Relads liqueur. Thats not a taste!
Of course it is. You tasted Naha, didnt you? He tastes like falling to the bottom of the universe.
That stopped my giggling, because it was true. We sat awhile longer, not speaking, not thinkingor at least I was not. It was, after the constant worry and scheming of the past two weeks, a moment of pure bliss. Perhaps that was why, when I did think again, it was of a different kind of peace.
What will happen to me? I asked. After.
He was a clever child; he knew what I meant at once.
Youll drift for a time, he said very softly. Souls do that when theyre first freed from flesh. Eventually they gravitate toward places that resonate with certain aspects of their nature. Places that are safe for souls lacking flesh, unlike this realm.
The heavens and the hells.
He shrugged, just a little, so that it would not jostle either of us. Thats what mortals call them.
Is that not what they are?
I dont know. What does it matter? I frowned, and he sighed. Im not mortal, Yeine, I dont obsess over this the way your kind does. Theyre just places for life to rest, when its not being alive. There are many of them because Enefa knew your kind needed variety. He sighed. That was why Enefas soul kept drifting, we think. All the places she made, the ones that resonated best with her, vanished when she died.
I shivered, and thought I felt something else shiver deep within me.
Will will both our souls find a place, she and I? Or will hers drift again?
I dont know. The pain in his voice was quiet, inflectionless. Another person would have missed it.
I rubbed his back gently. If I can, I said, if I have any control over it Ill take her with me.
She may not want to go. The only places left now are the ones her brothers created. Those dont fit her much.
Then she can stay inside me, if thats better. Im no heaven, but weve put up with each other this long. Were going to have to talk, though. All these visions and dreams must go. Theyre really quite distracting.
Sieh lifted his head and stared at me. I kept a straight face for as long as I could, which was not long. Of course he managed it longer than me. He had centuries more of practice.
We dissolved into laughter there on the floor, wrapped around each other, and thus ended the last day of my life.
* * *
I went back to my apartment alone, about an hour before dusk. When I got inside, Naha was still sitting in the big chair as if he hadnt moved all day, although there was an empty food tray on the nightstand. He started as I walked in; I suspected he had been napping, or at least daydreaming.
Go where you like for the remainder of the day, I told him. Id like to be alone awhile.
He did not argue as he got to his feet. There was a dress on my beda long, formal gown, beautifully made, except that it was a drab gray in color. There were matching shoes and accessories sitting beside it.
Servants brought those, Nahadoth said. Youre to wear them tonight.
Thank you.
He moved past me on his way out, not looking at me. At the rooms threshold I heard him stop for a moment. Perhaps he turned back. Perhaps he opened his mouth to speak. But he said nothing, and a moment later I heard the apartments door open and close.
I bathed and got dressed, then sat down in front of the windows to wait.
26
The Ball
I SEE MY LAND BELOW ME.
On the mountain pass, the watchtowers have already been overrun. The Darren troops there are dead. They fought hard, using the passs narrowness to make up for their small numbers, but in the end there were simply too many of the enemy. The Darre lasted long enough to light the signal fires and send a message: The enemy is coming.
The forests are Darrs second line of defense. Many an enemy has faltered here, poisoned by snakes or weakened by disease or worn down by the endless, strangling vines. My people have always taken advantage of this, seeding the forests with wisewomen who know how to hide and strike and fade back into the brush, like leopards.
But times have changed, and this time the enemy has brought a special weapona scrivener. Once this would have been unheard of in High North; magic is an Amn thing, deemed cowardly by most barbarian standards. Even for those nations willing to try cowardice, the Amn keep their scriveners too expensive to hire. But of course, that is not a problem for an Arameri.
(Stupid, stupid me. I have money. I could have sent a scrivener to fight on Darrs behalf. But in the end, I am still a barbarian; I did not think of it, and now it is too late.)
Me, he said. Of course.
What do I taste like?
Sieh sighed, snuggling against my shoulder, his arms looping around my waist. Soft, misty places full of sharp edges and hidden colors.
I could not help it; I giggled. I felt light-headed, like Id drunk too much of Relads liqueur. Thats not a taste!
Of course it is. You tasted Naha, didnt you? He tastes like falling to the bottom of the universe.
That stopped my giggling, because it was true. We sat awhile longer, not speaking, not thinkingor at least I was not. It was, after the constant worry and scheming of the past two weeks, a moment of pure bliss. Perhaps that was why, when I did think again, it was of a different kind of peace.
What will happen to me? I asked. After.
He was a clever child; he knew what I meant at once.
Youll drift for a time, he said very softly. Souls do that when theyre first freed from flesh. Eventually they gravitate toward places that resonate with certain aspects of their nature. Places that are safe for souls lacking flesh, unlike this realm.
The heavens and the hells.
He shrugged, just a little, so that it would not jostle either of us. Thats what mortals call them.
Is that not what they are?
I dont know. What does it matter? I frowned, and he sighed. Im not mortal, Yeine, I dont obsess over this the way your kind does. Theyre just places for life to rest, when its not being alive. There are many of them because Enefa knew your kind needed variety. He sighed. That was why Enefas soul kept drifting, we think. All the places she made, the ones that resonated best with her, vanished when she died.
I shivered, and thought I felt something else shiver deep within me.
Will will both our souls find a place, she and I? Or will hers drift again?
I dont know. The pain in his voice was quiet, inflectionless. Another person would have missed it.
I rubbed his back gently. If I can, I said, if I have any control over it Ill take her with me.
She may not want to go. The only places left now are the ones her brothers created. Those dont fit her much.
Then she can stay inside me, if thats better. Im no heaven, but weve put up with each other this long. Were going to have to talk, though. All these visions and dreams must go. Theyre really quite distracting.
Sieh lifted his head and stared at me. I kept a straight face for as long as I could, which was not long. Of course he managed it longer than me. He had centuries more of practice.
We dissolved into laughter there on the floor, wrapped around each other, and thus ended the last day of my life.
* * *
I went back to my apartment alone, about an hour before dusk. When I got inside, Naha was still sitting in the big chair as if he hadnt moved all day, although there was an empty food tray on the nightstand. He started as I walked in; I suspected he had been napping, or at least daydreaming.
Go where you like for the remainder of the day, I told him. Id like to be alone awhile.
He did not argue as he got to his feet. There was a dress on my beda long, formal gown, beautifully made, except that it was a drab gray in color. There were matching shoes and accessories sitting beside it.
Servants brought those, Nahadoth said. Youre to wear them tonight.
Thank you.
He moved past me on his way out, not looking at me. At the rooms threshold I heard him stop for a moment. Perhaps he turned back. Perhaps he opened his mouth to speak. But he said nothing, and a moment later I heard the apartments door open and close.
I bathed and got dressed, then sat down in front of the windows to wait.
26
The Ball
I SEE MY LAND BELOW ME.
On the mountain pass, the watchtowers have already been overrun. The Darren troops there are dead. They fought hard, using the passs narrowness to make up for their small numbers, but in the end there were simply too many of the enemy. The Darre lasted long enough to light the signal fires and send a message: The enemy is coming.
The forests are Darrs second line of defense. Many an enemy has faltered here, poisoned by snakes or weakened by disease or worn down by the endless, strangling vines. My people have always taken advantage of this, seeding the forests with wisewomen who know how to hide and strike and fade back into the brush, like leopards.
But times have changed, and this time the enemy has brought a special weapona scrivener. Once this would have been unheard of in High North; magic is an Amn thing, deemed cowardly by most barbarian standards. Even for those nations willing to try cowardice, the Amn keep their scriveners too expensive to hire. But of course, that is not a problem for an Arameri.
(Stupid, stupid me. I have money. I could have sent a scrivener to fight on Darrs behalf. But in the end, I am still a barbarian; I did not think of it, and now it is too late.)
