The Jesus Incident

Chapter Thirty-Six

The universe has no center.
- Shipquotes
RAJA THOMAS stood under the gigantic semi-inflated bag of the LTA in the main hangar. Lavu's crew had gone, turning off most of the lights. It was full nightside now. The bag was a dim orange bulk tugging gently at its tethers above him. There were great folds and concavities in it yet, but before Alki joined Rega dayside, they would be airborne, the bag as full and smooth as a hylighter.
Except that no hylighter of that size had ever been seen.
Thomas glanced across the dark hangar, impatient to leave. Why does Oakes want to meet me here?
The order had been succinct and simple. Oakes was coming out especially to inspect the LTA and its attached sub before allowing them to venture into the unprotected wilderness of Pandora's sea.
Is he about to veto the project?
The implications were clear: Too much Colony energy went into projects such as this one. It was contra-survival. The exterminators wanted their way. This might be the last scientific investigation permitted for a long time. Too many subs los.... too many LTAs. Such energy could be applied to food production.
The contrary argument of reason found fewer listeners with every passing hour of hunger.
Without the knowledge we gain there may never be dependable food production on Pandora. The kelp is sentient. It rules this planet.
What did the kelp call Pandora?
Home.
Was that Ship or my own imagination?
No response.
Thomas knew he was too keyed up, too full of uncertainties. Doubts. It would be so easy to share every viewpoint Oakes put forward. Agree with him. Even some of Lavu's crew had been picking up that muttered catch phrase which could be heard all through Colony: I'm hungry now!
Where was Oakes?
Keeping me waiting to teach me my place.
The self-constructed persona of Raja Thomas dominated this thought, but there were distant echoes of Flattery in it - distant but distinct. He felt like an actor well seated in his part after many performances. The Flattery self lay in his past like a childhood memory.
What have You hidden in the depths of the sea, Ship?
That is for you to discover.
There! That definitely was Ship talking to him.
The LTA creaked against its tethers. Thomas stepped from beneath it and peered up at the sphincter leaves of the skydoo...vast shadowy circle in the dim light. His nostrils tasted a faint bitterness of Pandoran esters in the air. Colony had found that some volatile renderings from selected demons insulated the area around them against other ravening native predators - especially against Nerve Runners. Nothing was forever, though. The demons soon developed counter-responses.
Thomas looked back at the shadowed su...smooth black rock held in the tentacles of an artificial hylighte.... a smooth black rock with glittering lines down its sides.
Again, the LTA creaked against its tethers. There was a draft in the hangar and he hoped this did not mean some unguarded opening to Pandora's dangerous exterior. He was unarmed and alone here except for perimeter guards at the ground-level hatches, and a watchman off somewhere brewing tea. Thomas could smell it faintl...familiar thing but marked by the subtle differences of Pandoran chemistry.
Am I being set up to go the way Rachel Demurest went?
He was a doubting man but there was no doubt in his mind about the way of Rachel's passing. It had been too convenient, the timing too good.
Who could question it, though?
Such things happened every day on perimeter patrol. Colony had a number for this attrition: one in seventy. It was like losses in a war. Soldiers knew. Except that most Shipmen appeared to know very little about war in the historic sense.
They knew soldiering, though.
He sniffed.
A faintly sweet undertone of native lubricants drifted on the air. This made him acutely aware of how grudgingly this planet gave up any of its substance to Colony. He had seen the reports - just cutting in the wells for those lubricants had cost them one life for every six diurns. And there was a general reluctance to go for cloned replacements - an unexplainable reluctance.
Fewer and fewer clones around, except out at that mysterious project on Dragon.
What was Lewis doing out there?
Why the growing split between clones and naturals? Was it something about being groundside?
We originated on a planet.
Was there some atavistic memory at work here?
Why don't You answer me, Ship?
When you need to know, you will know without asking.
Typical Ship answer!
What did Oakes mean by new clones? Are You helping him on that project, Ship? Are these new clones Your project?
Who helped you make Me, Devil?
Thomas felt his throat go dry. There had been barbs in that response. He glanced at the sub suspended off to his left. Quite suddenly, he saw it as representing a fragile and foolish venture. Sub and LTA had been shaped to simulate a hylighter carrying its characteristic rock ballast. No matter that the sub did not look much like rock.
I should be out preaching Ship's demand instead of risking my ancient flesh on this venture.
But Ship had given him no stature for this game, no platform upon which to stand.
How will you WorShip?
No matter the different ways Ship phrased the question, it came out the same.
Who would listen to an unknown, self-proclaimed Ceepee awakened from hyb? He was an admitted clone, member of a minority whose role was being redefined by Oakes.
Talk to the sentient vegetable. Did the kelp have an answer? Ship hinted at it, but refused to say definitely. That's for you to discover, Devil.
No help there. No clues on how he could open a conversation with this alien sentience. In the abstract, it was an exciting idea - talk to a life form so different from humankind that few evolutionary parallels could be drawn.
What strange things could we learn from them? What could the kelp learn from him? Again, Thomas glanced at his chrono. This delay was getting ridiculous!
Why do I permit it?
By this time Waela will have our poet in her cubby. A deep sigh shook him.
Processing had released Panille less than an hour before night-side. They delayed him deliberatel.... the way Oakes is delaying now. What did they have in mind? Waela, i....
Could that be the cause of Oakes' delay? Had Oakes discovered that Wael.... ?
Thomas shook his head sharply. Foolish speculation! He felt cold and exposed waiting here in the hangar, and there was no denying his uneasiness at thoughts of Waela. Waela and the poet.
Thomas felt torn by his own imagination. He had never before experienced such a powerful physical attraction toward a woman. And there was in his background, dredged up from that ancient conditioning process, a terrifying drive toward possession - private and exclusive possession. He knew this ran directly counter to much of the behavior Ship had allowe.... or promoted. Wael.... Wael....
He had to force a mask of distant, deliberate coolness. The delay with Panille could have been the time for preparing him to act against me. They could have been briefing him. It was necessary that Waela become intimate with this poet, peel away his masks and fin.... What? Panill.... Pandor.... More of Ship's doing?
Waela would find out. She had her orders. She must turn this Panille inside out, peer at the center of his being. She would learn and report back to her commander.
Me.
Who obeyed Oakes that way? Lewis, certainly. And Murdoch. And that Legata. What a surprise to find she was the Hamill of Ship's briefing. Did they set traps the way he had set this one for Panille?
Waela would do it right. It must seem a fortuitous accident to Panille. The right tim.... the right condition....
Dammit! How can I be jealous? I set this up!
He knew he was performing according to Ship's design. And probably according to Oakes' design. What was the relationship between Oakes and Ship?
Blasphemous man, Oakes. But Ship allowed the blasphemy. And Oakes might be right.
Thomas had come to suspect more and more that Ship might not be God.
What did we make when we created Ship?
Thomas knew his own hand in that creation. But had there been other, unseen hands in that construction?
Who helped you make Me, Devil?
God or Satan? What did we make?
At this moment, it did not much matter. He was tired in body and emotions and his dominant personal hope was that Panille would see through the sexual trap and defy it. Thomas did not really expect that to happen.
I'm doing Your job to the best of my ability, Ship.
"A function of my Devil is to frustrate good works. Shipmen must extend themselves beyond anything they believe possible."
Those had been Ship's words to him.
Why? Because frustration helped us to succeed with Project Consciousness?
Were they only replaying an old theme which had worked once and might work once more?
It occurred to him then that the Moonbase director who had supervised the building and the crew preparations for that original Voidship - old Morgan Hempstead - had served this identical function.
He was our Devil and we knew it. But now I'm Ship's Devi.... and best friend.
Thomas found cynical delight in this thought. Being a friend of Ship carried special perils. Oakes might have chosen the better role. Enemy of Ship. Thomas knew his own role, though. Ship chided him with it often enough.
"Play the game, Devil."
Yes, he had to play the game even though he lost.
A scraping noise intruded on his awareness. The sound came from the locker area where the sub crews prepared for their flights. Dead men's lockers, the Colony called them.
Something moved in the shadows over there, a waddling figure clad in a white shipsuit. Thomas recognized Oakes. Alone. So it was going to be that kind of a meeting.
Thomas took a handlight from his pocket and waved it to show where he stood.
Responding to the light, Oakes changed his path slightly. Oakes always felt diminished by the hangar area. Too much space used for too little return.
Bad investment.
Thomas appeared dwarfed by the immensity of the semi-inflated bag overhead.
These thoughts firmed his resolve. It would not pay to cancel this project outright without a dramatic motive. There were still some who supported it. Oakes knew the arguments.
Learn to live with the kelp!
You did not live with a wild cobra; you killed it.
Yes, Thomas had to g.... but dramatically, very dramatically. Two Ceepees could not co-exist in Colony.
Oakes did not want to know what Lewis and Murdoch had arranged. An accident with the submersible, perhaps. There already had been enough accidents without arrangement. The cost in Shipmen lives had reached abrasive levels. Colonists expected casualties while they subdued this planet, but the latest attrition rate went beyond the tolerable.
As he came up to Thomas, Oakes smiled openly. It was a gesture he could afford.
"Well, let's look at this new submersible," Oakes said.
He allowed himself to be guided to the sub's side hatch and into the cramped command gondola at the core, noting that Thomas offered no small talk, none of the unconscious obeisance of language which Oakes had come to expect from those around him. Everything was business, technical: Here were the new sonar instruments, the remote-recording sensors, the nephelometer....
Nephelometers?
Oakes had to cast back into his medical training for the association.
Oh, yes. Instruments for collecting and examining small particles suspended in the water.
Oakes almost laughed. It was not small particles which needed study but the giant kelp: fully visible and certainly vulnerable. In spite of his amusement, Oakes managed a few seemingly responsive questions.
"What makes you say that everything in the sea has to serve the kelp?"
"Because that's what we find, that's the condition of the sea. Everything from the grazing cycles of the biota to the distribution of trace metals, everything fits the growth demands of the kelp. We must find out why."
"Grazing cycles o.... ?"
"The biota - all the living matte.... The mud-dwelling creatures and those on the surface, all appear to be in a profound symbiotic relationship with the kelp. The grazers, for example, stir the toxic products cast off by the kelp into a layer of highly absorbent sediment where other creatures restore these substances to the food chain. The...."
"You mean the kelp shits and this is processed by animals on the bottom?"
"That would be one way of stating it, but the total implication of the sea system is disturbing. There are leaf grazers, for instance, whose only function is to keep the kelp's leaves clean. The few predators all have large fins, much larger than you'd expect for their size, an....
"What does that have to do wit....?"
"They stir the water around the kelp."
"Huh?" For a moment, Oakes had found his interest aroused, but Thomas had all the earmarks of a specialist blowing his own private horn - even to the esoteric language of the specialty. This was supposed to be a communications expert?
Just to keep things moving, Oakes asked the expected question: "What disturbing implications?"
"The kelp is influencing the sea far more than simple evolutionary processes can explain. Perhaps it supports the marine community. The only historical comparisons we can make lead us to believe that a sentient force is at work here."
"Sentient!" Oakes put as much disdain as he could muster into the word. That damned report on kelp-hylighter relationships! Lewis was supposed to have made it inaccessible. Was the ship interfering?
"A conscious design," Thomas said.
"Or an extremely long-lived adaptation and evolution."
Thomas shook his head. There was another possibility, but he did not care to discuss it with Oakes. What if Ship had created this planet precisely the way they found it? Why would Ship do such a thing?
Oakes had absorbed enough from this encounter. He had made the gesture. Everyone would see that he was concerned. His guards were waiting back there at the hatch. They would talk. Losses were too high and the Ceepee had to look into it himself. Time to end it.
Oakes relaxed visibly. How nicely things were working.
And Thomas thought: He's going to let us go without a struggle. All right, Ship. I'm going to pry into one of Your secret places. If You made this planet to teach us Your WorShip, there have to be clues in the sea.
"Well, I'll want a complete report when you return," Oakes said. "Some of your data may help us begin a useful aquaculture project."
He left then, muttering loud enough to be heard: "Sentient kelp!"
As he walked back across the hangar, Oakes thought it had been one of his best performances, and all of it caught by the sensors, all of it recorded and stored. Whe.... whatever Lewis had arranged happened, they would be able to edit excerpts from the record.
See how concerned I was?
From the sub's hatch, Thomas watched Oakes leave, then slipped back down for a final inspection of the core. Had Oakes sabotaged something? All appeared normal. His gaze fell on the central command seat, then on the secondary position to the left where Waela would sit. He caressed the back of the seat.
I'm an old fool. What would I do? Waste precious time with a useless dalliance? And what if she refused to respond to me? What then, old fool?
Old!
Who but Ship even suspected how old? Original material. A clone, a doppelganger - but original material. Nothing like it alive and moving anywhere else in the universe.
So Ship said.
Don't you believe Me, Devil?
The thought was a static burst in Thomas' awareness. He spoke as he often did to answer Ship when alone. No matter that some thought him slightly mad.
"Does it matter whether I believe You?"
It matters to Me.
"Then that's an edge I have and You don't."
You regret your decision to play this game?
"I keep my word."
And you gave Me your word.
Thomas knew it did not matter whether he said this aloud or merely thought it, but he found himself unable to prevent the outburst.
"Did I give my word to Satan or to God?"
Who can settle that question to your satisfaction?
"Maybe You're Satan and I'm God."
That is very close, My Doubting Thomas!
"Close to what?"
Only you can tell.
As usual, nothing was settled in such an exchange except the re-establishment of the master-servant relationship. Thomas slipped into the command seat, sighed. Presently, he began going through the instrument checklist, more to distract himself than for any other reason. Oakes had not come to sabotage but to make a show of some kind.
Devil?
So Ship was not through with him.
"Yes, Ship?"
There is something you need to know.
Thomas felt his heartbeat quicken. Ship seldom volunteered information. It must be something momentous.
"What is it?"
You recall Hali Ekel?
That name was familia.... yes; he had seen it in the Panille dossier which Waela had supplied.
"Panille's med-tech friend, yes. What about her?"
I have exposed her to a segment of a dominant human past.
"A replay? But You sai...."
A segment, Devil, not a replay. You must learn the distinction. When there is a lesson someone needs, you do not have to show the entire record; you can show only a marked passage, a segment.
"Am I living in a marked passage right now?"
This is an original play, a true sequel.
"Why tell me this? What are you doing?"
Because you were trained as a Chaplain. It is important that you know what Hali has experienced. I have shown her the Jesus incident.
Thomas felt his mouth go dry. He was a moment recovering, then: "The Hill of Skulls? Why?"
Her life has been too tame. She must learn how far holy violence can extend. You, too, need this reminder.
Thomas thought about a sheltered young woman from the ship-side life being exposed suddenly to the crucifixion. It angered him and he let that anger appear in his voice,
"You're interfering, aren't You!"
This is My universe, too, Devil. Never forget that.
"Why did you do that?"
Prelude to other data. Panille has recognized the trap you set for him and avoided it. Waela failed.
Thomas knew he could not conceal his elation and did not try. But a question remained: "Is Panille Your pawn?"
Are you My pawn?
Thomas felt a tight band across his chest. Nothing worked the way he expected. Presently, he found his voice.
"How did he recognize the trap?"
By being open to his peril.
"What does that mean?"
You are not open, as My Devil should be.
"And You told me You wouldn't interfere with the roll of the dice!"
I never said I would not interfere; I said there would be no outside interference.
Thomas thought about that while he fought to overcome a deep sense of frustration. It was too much and he spoke his feelings: "You're in the game: You can do anything You want and You don't call tha...."
You, too, can do anything you want.
This froze him. What powers had Ship imparted to him? He did not feel powerful. He felt helpless before Ship's omnipresence. And this business of Hali Ekel and the Jesus incident"? What did it mean?
Once more, Ship intruded: Devil, I tell you that some things take their own course only if you fail to detect that course. Waela really feels a powerful attraction toward young Panille.
Young Panille!
Thomas spoke past an emptiness in his breast: "Why do You torture me?"
You torture yourself.
"So You say!"
When will you awaken? There was no mistaking Ship's frustrated emphasis.
Thomas found that he did not fear this. He was much too tired and there was no more reason for him to stay here in the sub. Oakes had approved the venture. They would go out on schedule - Waela and Panille with him.
"Ship, I'll awaken early tomorrow and take out this LTA and its sub."
Would that this were true.
"You intend to stop me?" Thomas found himself oddly delighted at the prospect of Ship interfering in this particular way.
Stop you? No. The play must run its course apparently.
Was that sadness in Snap's projection? Thomas could not be certain. He sat back. There was a stabbing ache between his shoulderblades. He closed his eyes, sent his fatigue and frustrations out in thought.
"Ship, I know I can't hide anything from You. And You know why I'm going out to the sea tomorrow."
Yes, I know even what you hide from yourself.
"Are You my psychiatrist now?"
Which of us usurps the function of the other? That has always been the question.
Thomas opened his eyes. "I have to do it."
That is the origin of the illusion men call kismet.
"I'm too tired to play word games."
Thomas slipped out of the command seat and stood up. He kept one hand on the seat back, spoke as much to himself as to Ship.
"We could all die tomorrow, Waela, Panille and I."
I must warn you that truisms represent the most boring of all human indulgences.
Thomas felt Ship's intrusive presence withdraw, but he knew that nothing had been taken away. Wherever he went, whatever he did, Ship was there.
He found his thoughts winging back to that faraway time when he had been trained (conditioned, really) not merely as a Psychiatrist, but as a Chaplain/Psychiatrist.
"Fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
Old Matthew knew how to put the fear of God in you!
Thomas found it took him several blinks to overcome a sense of panic so deep that it kept him locked in place.
Early training is the most powerful, he reminded himself.