The Last Boyfriend
Page 12
Zane pulled away from me slightly and kissed down my chin to my neck. I felt his right hand creep up to caress my breast and I moaned as he squeezed it. All of my nerves were standing on edge and I wanted to feel his hands on my na**d skin. I wriggled below him and finally got his shirt off. I ran my hands over his back, delighted by the feel of his skin. He was warm to the touch and he groaned as I rolled him onto his back and sat on him. I looked down at him panting and bent down to kiss his chest, running my hands across his ni**les as I kissed down his happy trail.
“Oh Lucky.” He moaned and I felt his hands in my hair.
“Hmmm.” I kissed back up his chest to his lips and started grinding on top of him. I smiled at the feel of his hardness beneath me and rocked back and forth as he kissed me. He wrapped his hands around my waist and dropped them to my ass until he was cupping my butt cheeks and pushing my down into him further. I reached down to his belt buckle, wanting to release his dragon, but Zane stopped me.
“No.” Zane rolled me back over and lay next to me, kissing my nose. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“What?” I sighed and leaned over to him. “Why not?”
“You’re not that type of girl.”
“What type of girl?”
“The type of girl that has casual sex without getting feelings.”
“What?” My cheeks flamed at his words.
“I’m not the guy for you, Lucky.” His eyes looked bleak. “I’m not looking for a happily ever after. I never want to get married.”
“You just want casual weekly sex?” I rolled away from him.
“No.” He sighed. “But I also don’t want a serious relationship.”
“Who says that is what I want?”
“I knew from the very first time that I saw you at Lou’s that you’re not the type of girl for a casual anything.” There was mirth in his voice. “Don’t be mad at me, Lucky.”
“I’m not mad.” I jumped up. “It’s whatever. I don’t need you to have sex with me.”
“It’s not that I don’t find you attractive, Lucky. You’re hot.” He sighed. “Shit. You just felt how much I want you.”
“Whatever.” I blushed.
“Wait.” He jumped off of the bed and pushed me against the wall. He then grabbed my hand and pulled it to his manhood. “You feel that?”
I nodded mutely, slightly angry, but totally turned on.
“I want to make love to you until you cry out my name, Lucky.” He whispered in my ear as my hand closed in on him through his pants. “I want you to take me in your hands and in your mouth. I want to feel myself in you. I want to make you blush as you come for me.”
My eyes widened at his words and then I felt his tongue in my ear and I felt even more turned on than I had been before. My hand dropped from his crotch and I ran my hands through his hair. I closed my eyes and reveled in the feelings he was awakening in my body. It had been too long since I had made love. I was feeling horny and my panties were starting to feel uncomfortable between my legs.
Zane pulled away from me and stared into my eyes. “You’re a special girl, Lucky, but I’m not the guy for you. I’m not going to take anything from you that I shouldn’t.”
“I’m not a virgin.” I whispered, wanting him to take me.
“Go and take a shower, Lucky.” Zane sighed and backed away from me. “We have a lot to do today.”
I looked at his face, embarrassment coloring mine. “Yeah. I need to let Maria and Shayla know I’m going to LA for a bit.”
“Lucky, if you don’t want to take this job, well, you can back out.”
“Do you want me to back out?” I questioned, holding my breath.
“No.” His eyes bore into me and I felt a secret thrill.
“So then I’m coming.”
“Did you withdraw from your classes?”
“I’m going to do it online today.” I tried to keep my breathing normalized. I was starting to feel slightly panicked. Maybe he didn’t want me to come anymore? I didn’t want to think about how much that hurt me. I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that I was really starting to fall for him.
“Have you told your roommates?”
“Oh I forgot.” I slapped my hand against my mouth.
“Oh Lucky.” He smiled. “We can tell them when you come out of the shower.”
“Oh.” I bit my lip and stared at him. He looked so hot without his shirt on, but I knew I had to think about something else. “They’re going to think you stayed the night.”
“I did stay the night.”
“But they’re going to think we had sex.” I mouthed the last part.
“Are you scared to say sex, Lucky?” He moved in closer to me and winked. “We did very nearly have sex. Is that so bad?”
“You don’t understand.” I sighed. “I haven’t had sex in a while.”
He looked surprised at my statement and I continued. “I’ve been saving myself for a guy I think is worth it.” I flushed, hoping he didn’t draw any conclusions about my feelings for him from my statement.
“So you haven’t had sex in a while?” He smiled softly, and I blushed. “But you were going to have sex with me.”
“No.” I turned around quickly. “I’m going in the shower.”
“No what.”
“Just drop it, Zane.”
“I’ll never understand you, Lucky.” Zane shook his head and sighed. “You’re the most complicated girl I’ve ever met.”
“And that’s saying a lot.” I grinned and stuck my tongue out at him. He responded with a swift slap to my butt and I ran out of the door laughing, wondering, once again, what I was getting myself into.
Chapter 8
“Would you like something to drink madam?” The flight attendant asked me, with a huge smile.
“Some water, please.” I smiled at her from the luxury of my first-class seat.
“And you sir?”
“I’ll have a rum and coke, please.”
I looked at Zane aghast. “You’re drinking?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?” He grinned at me and sat back.
“Weren’t you the one just telling me about alcohol this morning?”
“I told you it’s not smart to drink around shady guys.”
“Here’s your water ma’am, are you sure you don’t want anything else?”
“I’ll have a glass of champagne, please?” I looked at her uncertainly. Did they even have champagne on planes?
“Of course.”
“Alcohol?” Zane raised an eyebrow at me.
“I can hold my own around shady guys.” I smiled sweetly and turned to look out the window. I heard him chuckle and grinned to myself. “So where am I going to stay in LA and how much am I going to be making?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked before now.” Zane shook his head. “You’re way too trusting, Lucky.”
“Are you telling me I shouldn’t trust you?”
“I’m telling you that you shouldn’t trust anyone else too easily.”
“But trusting you is fine, right?”
“I’m looking after your best interests.”
“Why?” I questioned him.
“I feel like we’ve developed a friendship these last few months.”
“Really?” I laughed. “Was this before or after I presented you with your entrees?”
“It was somewhere between soup and salad.”
“Aw, now I know why you always gave me big tips. You were making sure your friend made a good wage.”
“Well you know. That’s what friends are for.” He laughed. “But in all seriousness, you’ll be staying with me, at my condo.”
“Oh okay.”
“I hope that’s okay. I’ll be able to make sure you stay out of trouble.”
“I’m not a kid, Zane.” I sighed. “I don’t need another dad.”
“You’re my responsibility Lucky. It will make me feel better. Humor me. Okay?”
“I guess. But I’ll have you know, I’m 22, not 12.”
“A 22 year old that makes bad mistakes.”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. Zane obviously had some sort of protector complex. I doubted that I would be able to talk him out of it. “Does Noah live there in the condo as well?”
“No.” He frowned and put his earphones on.
Well okay then, I thought to myself. I guess I still wasn’t going to find out about Noah. I didn’t understand what the big deal was, but I knew I didn’t want to push the issue. I hoped that Zane would tell me himself when he was ready. I put my earphones on as well, and flicked through the channels. I couldn’t quite believe that I was on a plane to Los Angeles. The day had seemed to fly by. After my shower, Zane and I had told my roommates that I was leaving and then we had dropped by Lou’s Burger Joint. Shayla’s and Maria’s jaws had dropped when I walked in with Zane. I still didn’t think that they believed me when I had told them we were not going on some sex-fuelled vacation. I laughed, thinking about Shayla’s expression when I told her I was withdrawing from my classes and going to LA. She had taken me to the side and told me that I could come back to Lou’s whenever I wanted. I had given her a big hug and held back a sob. Shayla was like my family. I was going to miss her and Mike a lot.
I felt Zane tap me on the shoulder and I turned to look at him with a questioning expression. “How did your parents die?” He asked me softly.
“I, what?”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.” He smiled at me gently. “My mother left my brother and me when we were young.” He scratched his ear. “It’s still hard to talk about.”
“Your mother left you?” I pulled my earphones out and turned to him.
“Well she left my father, she wanted to spite him. My brother and I were just the dregs at the bottom of the barrel.”
“Oh I’m sorry.” I reached out to touch his hand. “That must have been tough.”
“It made Noah and me closer.” He paused. “We were young. I was six and Noah was four.”
“Oh wow.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of Zane being abandoned as a child.
“I still remember her.” He stared into my eyes. “She had blonde hair that was almost white. You wouldn’t know if looked at me. But Noah, he had the same white blond hair. It made my father hate him even more. Because he reminded him of her. We both have her eyes.”
“She must have been beautiful.”
“She was.” He avoided eye contact with me. “Too beautiful for my dad really. She was young when she married him. Got caught up in the lifestyle.”
“Did she marry him for money?” I asked softly.
“No.” He laughed at my surprised expression. “You would have thought so right? What woman leaves her husband and two young children if she loved them.”
“Why did she leave?”
“I don’t really know.” He paused and finished his drink. “My dad never said and she never contacted us.”
“Do you know where she is now?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Noah and I used to say that while the sun shines and the moon glows, we don’t need anyone else in our lives.”
“That’s sad.” I frowned. “And I don’t think it’s too healthy either.” I started to realize that his mother’s abandonment must have been the biggest reason for his resistance to relationships. “Everyone isn’t like your mom.”
“Maybe not.” He reached over and ran his hands over my hair. “But love, lust, whatever it is, it’s not enough. All it does is lead to heartbreak.”
“I don’t believe that.” I frowned, my heart aching for him. “Not all love leads to heartbreak.”
“Didn’t your parents’ deaths break your heart?”
“Well, of course. But it wasn’t their fault.”
“But don’t you get it?” He shook his hands. “It doesn’t have to be on purpose, it will still break your heart. Love will tear you apart from limb to limb.”
“So you’d rather not love?”
“I weigh the odds. I’d rather have fun and an enjoyable life, than to fall deeply in love with someone and have my heart pulled out of my body.”
“You don’t know if your heart will be pulled out of your body, as you so eloquently stated.”
“I’m pretty sure love equals pain.”
“My parents loved each other and me with all their hearts until the day they died. And every day I miss them with all my heart. I miss my mom making me spaghetti and meatballs when she sensed I had a bad day. I miss my dad taking me to the library every Saturday morning to choose five library books. I miss his goofy grins when I would choose a Sweet Valley Twins book. I miss going to Pizza Hut and ordering three personal pan pizzas, because none of us could agree on what toppings we wanted. I miss my dad grabbing my mom’s hand and sneaking kisses when he thought I wasn’t looking. I miss them being proud of me and loving me. And every single night, it hurts when I think of them. It hurts when I go to bed and I know I’m going to wake up the next morning and they still won’t be around. It hurts every time I want to call them, or email them, or go home for the holidays. But I wouldn’t give up one second of those memories to eradicate the pain that I feel every day. It hurts and it burns, but my love for them still lives on.” I blinked away tears as I took a breath and I knew that he could see the pain in my eyes.
“Oh Lucky.” He moaned and I felt his hands in my hair.
“Hmmm.” I kissed back up his chest to his lips and started grinding on top of him. I smiled at the feel of his hardness beneath me and rocked back and forth as he kissed me. He wrapped his hands around my waist and dropped them to my ass until he was cupping my butt cheeks and pushing my down into him further. I reached down to his belt buckle, wanting to release his dragon, but Zane stopped me.
“No.” Zane rolled me back over and lay next to me, kissing my nose. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“What?” I sighed and leaned over to him. “Why not?”
“You’re not that type of girl.”
“What type of girl?”
“The type of girl that has casual sex without getting feelings.”
“What?” My cheeks flamed at his words.
“I’m not the guy for you, Lucky.” His eyes looked bleak. “I’m not looking for a happily ever after. I never want to get married.”
“You just want casual weekly sex?” I rolled away from him.
“No.” He sighed. “But I also don’t want a serious relationship.”
“Who says that is what I want?”
“I knew from the very first time that I saw you at Lou’s that you’re not the type of girl for a casual anything.” There was mirth in his voice. “Don’t be mad at me, Lucky.”
“I’m not mad.” I jumped up. “It’s whatever. I don’t need you to have sex with me.”
“It’s not that I don’t find you attractive, Lucky. You’re hot.” He sighed. “Shit. You just felt how much I want you.”
“Whatever.” I blushed.
“Wait.” He jumped off of the bed and pushed me against the wall. He then grabbed my hand and pulled it to his manhood. “You feel that?”
I nodded mutely, slightly angry, but totally turned on.
“I want to make love to you until you cry out my name, Lucky.” He whispered in my ear as my hand closed in on him through his pants. “I want you to take me in your hands and in your mouth. I want to feel myself in you. I want to make you blush as you come for me.”
My eyes widened at his words and then I felt his tongue in my ear and I felt even more turned on than I had been before. My hand dropped from his crotch and I ran my hands through his hair. I closed my eyes and reveled in the feelings he was awakening in my body. It had been too long since I had made love. I was feeling horny and my panties were starting to feel uncomfortable between my legs.
Zane pulled away from me and stared into my eyes. “You’re a special girl, Lucky, but I’m not the guy for you. I’m not going to take anything from you that I shouldn’t.”
“I’m not a virgin.” I whispered, wanting him to take me.
“Go and take a shower, Lucky.” Zane sighed and backed away from me. “We have a lot to do today.”
I looked at his face, embarrassment coloring mine. “Yeah. I need to let Maria and Shayla know I’m going to LA for a bit.”
“Lucky, if you don’t want to take this job, well, you can back out.”
“Do you want me to back out?” I questioned, holding my breath.
“No.” His eyes bore into me and I felt a secret thrill.
“So then I’m coming.”
“Did you withdraw from your classes?”
“I’m going to do it online today.” I tried to keep my breathing normalized. I was starting to feel slightly panicked. Maybe he didn’t want me to come anymore? I didn’t want to think about how much that hurt me. I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that I was really starting to fall for him.
“Have you told your roommates?”
“Oh I forgot.” I slapped my hand against my mouth.
“Oh Lucky.” He smiled. “We can tell them when you come out of the shower.”
“Oh.” I bit my lip and stared at him. He looked so hot without his shirt on, but I knew I had to think about something else. “They’re going to think you stayed the night.”
“I did stay the night.”
“But they’re going to think we had sex.” I mouthed the last part.
“Are you scared to say sex, Lucky?” He moved in closer to me and winked. “We did very nearly have sex. Is that so bad?”
“You don’t understand.” I sighed. “I haven’t had sex in a while.”
He looked surprised at my statement and I continued. “I’ve been saving myself for a guy I think is worth it.” I flushed, hoping he didn’t draw any conclusions about my feelings for him from my statement.
“So you haven’t had sex in a while?” He smiled softly, and I blushed. “But you were going to have sex with me.”
“No.” I turned around quickly. “I’m going in the shower.”
“No what.”
“Just drop it, Zane.”
“I’ll never understand you, Lucky.” Zane shook his head and sighed. “You’re the most complicated girl I’ve ever met.”
“And that’s saying a lot.” I grinned and stuck my tongue out at him. He responded with a swift slap to my butt and I ran out of the door laughing, wondering, once again, what I was getting myself into.
Chapter 8
“Would you like something to drink madam?” The flight attendant asked me, with a huge smile.
“Some water, please.” I smiled at her from the luxury of my first-class seat.
“And you sir?”
“I’ll have a rum and coke, please.”
I looked at Zane aghast. “You’re drinking?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?” He grinned at me and sat back.
“Weren’t you the one just telling me about alcohol this morning?”
“I told you it’s not smart to drink around shady guys.”
“Here’s your water ma’am, are you sure you don’t want anything else?”
“I’ll have a glass of champagne, please?” I looked at her uncertainly. Did they even have champagne on planes?
“Of course.”
“Alcohol?” Zane raised an eyebrow at me.
“I can hold my own around shady guys.” I smiled sweetly and turned to look out the window. I heard him chuckle and grinned to myself. “So where am I going to stay in LA and how much am I going to be making?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked before now.” Zane shook his head. “You’re way too trusting, Lucky.”
“Are you telling me I shouldn’t trust you?”
“I’m telling you that you shouldn’t trust anyone else too easily.”
“But trusting you is fine, right?”
“I’m looking after your best interests.”
“Why?” I questioned him.
“I feel like we’ve developed a friendship these last few months.”
“Really?” I laughed. “Was this before or after I presented you with your entrees?”
“It was somewhere between soup and salad.”
“Aw, now I know why you always gave me big tips. You were making sure your friend made a good wage.”
“Well you know. That’s what friends are for.” He laughed. “But in all seriousness, you’ll be staying with me, at my condo.”
“Oh okay.”
“I hope that’s okay. I’ll be able to make sure you stay out of trouble.”
“I’m not a kid, Zane.” I sighed. “I don’t need another dad.”
“You’re my responsibility Lucky. It will make me feel better. Humor me. Okay?”
“I guess. But I’ll have you know, I’m 22, not 12.”
“A 22 year old that makes bad mistakes.”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. Zane obviously had some sort of protector complex. I doubted that I would be able to talk him out of it. “Does Noah live there in the condo as well?”
“No.” He frowned and put his earphones on.
Well okay then, I thought to myself. I guess I still wasn’t going to find out about Noah. I didn’t understand what the big deal was, but I knew I didn’t want to push the issue. I hoped that Zane would tell me himself when he was ready. I put my earphones on as well, and flicked through the channels. I couldn’t quite believe that I was on a plane to Los Angeles. The day had seemed to fly by. After my shower, Zane and I had told my roommates that I was leaving and then we had dropped by Lou’s Burger Joint. Shayla’s and Maria’s jaws had dropped when I walked in with Zane. I still didn’t think that they believed me when I had told them we were not going on some sex-fuelled vacation. I laughed, thinking about Shayla’s expression when I told her I was withdrawing from my classes and going to LA. She had taken me to the side and told me that I could come back to Lou’s whenever I wanted. I had given her a big hug and held back a sob. Shayla was like my family. I was going to miss her and Mike a lot.
I felt Zane tap me on the shoulder and I turned to look at him with a questioning expression. “How did your parents die?” He asked me softly.
“I, what?”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.” He smiled at me gently. “My mother left my brother and me when we were young.” He scratched his ear. “It’s still hard to talk about.”
“Your mother left you?” I pulled my earphones out and turned to him.
“Well she left my father, she wanted to spite him. My brother and I were just the dregs at the bottom of the barrel.”
“Oh I’m sorry.” I reached out to touch his hand. “That must have been tough.”
“It made Noah and me closer.” He paused. “We were young. I was six and Noah was four.”
“Oh wow.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of Zane being abandoned as a child.
“I still remember her.” He stared into my eyes. “She had blonde hair that was almost white. You wouldn’t know if looked at me. But Noah, he had the same white blond hair. It made my father hate him even more. Because he reminded him of her. We both have her eyes.”
“She must have been beautiful.”
“She was.” He avoided eye contact with me. “Too beautiful for my dad really. She was young when she married him. Got caught up in the lifestyle.”
“Did she marry him for money?” I asked softly.
“No.” He laughed at my surprised expression. “You would have thought so right? What woman leaves her husband and two young children if she loved them.”
“Why did she leave?”
“I don’t really know.” He paused and finished his drink. “My dad never said and she never contacted us.”
“Do you know where she is now?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Noah and I used to say that while the sun shines and the moon glows, we don’t need anyone else in our lives.”
“That’s sad.” I frowned. “And I don’t think it’s too healthy either.” I started to realize that his mother’s abandonment must have been the biggest reason for his resistance to relationships. “Everyone isn’t like your mom.”
“Maybe not.” He reached over and ran his hands over my hair. “But love, lust, whatever it is, it’s not enough. All it does is lead to heartbreak.”
“I don’t believe that.” I frowned, my heart aching for him. “Not all love leads to heartbreak.”
“Didn’t your parents’ deaths break your heart?”
“Well, of course. But it wasn’t their fault.”
“But don’t you get it?” He shook his hands. “It doesn’t have to be on purpose, it will still break your heart. Love will tear you apart from limb to limb.”
“So you’d rather not love?”
“I weigh the odds. I’d rather have fun and an enjoyable life, than to fall deeply in love with someone and have my heart pulled out of my body.”
“You don’t know if your heart will be pulled out of your body, as you so eloquently stated.”
“I’m pretty sure love equals pain.”
“My parents loved each other and me with all their hearts until the day they died. And every day I miss them with all my heart. I miss my mom making me spaghetti and meatballs when she sensed I had a bad day. I miss my dad taking me to the library every Saturday morning to choose five library books. I miss his goofy grins when I would choose a Sweet Valley Twins book. I miss going to Pizza Hut and ordering three personal pan pizzas, because none of us could agree on what toppings we wanted. I miss my dad grabbing my mom’s hand and sneaking kisses when he thought I wasn’t looking. I miss them being proud of me and loving me. And every single night, it hurts when I think of them. It hurts when I go to bed and I know I’m going to wake up the next morning and they still won’t be around. It hurts every time I want to call them, or email them, or go home for the holidays. But I wouldn’t give up one second of those memories to eradicate the pain that I feel every day. It hurts and it burns, but my love for them still lives on.” I blinked away tears as I took a breath and I knew that he could see the pain in my eyes.
