The Last Husband
Page 12
“I didn’t know how to tell you, Lucky.” I watched her face closely to try and figure out how she was feeling.
“We can talk about this later, Zane.” She frowned at me and turned back to Mr. Johnson. “I’m sorry about this. I didn’t realize that …”
“Lucky, I’ll let you know that I’m happy you came into Zane’s life. When Noah first contacted us, well, we were overjoyed. Betty and I couldn’t believe that someone wanted to tell our story. That people actually cared what happened to the kids that grew up in the 50s and went through the transition. I knew right away that there was a reason for Zane calling me.”
“I didn’t realize.” Lucky’s voice expressed the same surprise I felt.
“Noah used to talk about Zane all the time.” Sidney looked at me. “He was real proud of you, son.”
“Thank you.” I smiled as best as I could, even though I felt emotional. I wanted to ask him what else he talked about with my brother.
“I was happy when I got to meet you. Even if you were only picking up the documentary because of a girl.”
“I, uh …” I stammered, embarrassed at the situation.
“I wish you would have told me, Zane.” Lucky shook her head at me. “It’s sweet that you thought of me, but I just wish you would have told me that you lied.”
“Lucky, I want to tell you a story,” Sidney Johnson cut her off.
“Sure.” She turned to face him.
“It’s about me and my wife.” He chuckled and winked at me. “It’s about what I did for love.”
“Oh, you don’t have to tell me.” Lucky looked embarrassed.
“I want to tell you so you’re not too hard on your young man.”
“Oh.” She looked down and I saw a small smile on her face.
“So, when I first saw Betty walking them streets, I thought to myself, this is a young lady that has a purpose and she don’t want no boy like me. She wants herself a fine, respectable man.” He nodded to himself as he remembered the past. “So the first time I got to talk to her, I told her that I was getting a scholarship to study.”
“Wow, that was great,” Lucky interrupted him with a huge grin. “What was the scholarship for?”
“There was no scholarship and there was no school.” He laughed.
“What?”
“I lied.” He smiled. “I knew she would never talk to me if she knew I was hanging out with my friends on the streets.”
“And she didn’t know?”
“Not for many years.” He laughed. “By the time she finally gave me the time of day, I was in school and, as they say, the rest is history.”
“So you lied to her?”
“I don’t know if you can quite say lie, I like to think that I weaved some words together so that I could win her heart. Like a wordsmith.”
“I suppose so.” Lucky smiled and looked at me with veiled eyes. My heart thumped as she stared at me, and I wondered if this was going to be the hurdle that destroyed our relationship. When she issued me a small smile, I felt the tension lift from my shoulders. “Is there anything else I should know about, Zane?”
“No.” I shook my head and ignored the niggling feeling in me that told me I was lying. I felt like my phone was a ticking time bomb in my pants, but I couldn’t risk her finding out about that. “That’s all.” I could tell that Lucky wanted to ask me more questions, but we were both cognizant of the fact that Sidney was in the room with us.
“Who’s ready for tea and cookies?” Mrs. Johnson bustled into the room with a large tray and I jumped up to help her. I took the tray from her hands and placed it on the table carefully. She looked at me with a smile and handed me a cup and saucer. “Milk and sugar?”
“No milk, one sugar. Thanks.”
“I’ll have milk and three sugars, please.” Lucky laughed. “I have a sweet tooth.”
“I’ll say.”
“Zane.” She glared at me.
“What can I say? You do.” I grinned at her and Mr. Johnson chuckled before speaking. “Now, Lucky, tell me about your new idea.”
“When we first talked about this documentary,” Lucky paused and looked at me, “Zane and I were talking about filming several people, but I thought it would be more powerful if we did a documentary that focused on you and your family.” She took a breath and looked at Sidney again. “If that would be okay with you.”
“Of course it would be okay, dear child,” Betty answered for Sidney and Sidney laughed.
“She’s the boss, so if she says yes.” Sidney shrugged and Betty gave him a kiss on the forehead.
“I ain’t never been your boss, Sidney Johnson.” She shook her head and laughed. “Well, not that you’ve ever admitted it.”
“I try not to tell a lie.” Sidney winked at me and stood up. “Let me go and get my address book. I recently found one of my brothers. I think he can help. He has a good memory.”
“Recently found?” Lucky looked at him curiously.
“He done been lost for about 40 years.” Sidney shook his head. “I thought he was dead. But Betty here went inline and she found him.”
“Online, Sidney,” Betty corrected him.
“What?” He frowned at her.
“I went online and found him.”
“Oh?” Lucky took out her notepad.
“Yeah, there’s a website that helps you find people,” Betty continued. “My son helped me. We did it as a present for Sidney’s birthday.”
“He works for the government.” Sidney smiled. “He done good for himself. Got a good job. Had some kids. He even got married. He married himself a white lady.”
“Sidney!” Betty admonished him and smiled at us shaking her head.
“What, Betty?” He looked at her with a frown and she nodded at Lucky and me. “They don’t care if he married a white lady.” He laughed and Lucky and I joined him.
Watching Sidney and his wife, teasing each other and helping each other gave me hope for my future with Lucky, and gave me a glimpse into what aging love looked like. I’d be over the moon to be so happy with Lucky when we were senior citizens. To have kids and grandkids and a home full of love. I could rewrite my history. I could be the man that went from no love to an abundance of love. Sidney and Betty gave me hope for the future.
“Zane, are you okay?” Lucky walked over to me and touched my shoulder lightly. I looked up at the concern in her eyes and nodded.
“Sorry, I must have spaced out.”
“It’s okay.” She took hold of my hand. “I’m not mad about what you did. It’s even kind of romantic and sweet in a way.” She smiled. “Don’t worry.”
“Thanks,” I beamed at her, letting her think that that was the reason I had spaced out. “You’re the best.”
“As long as you tell her that every day, you’ll be okay,” Sidney shouted from the corner. “Now, let’s go and look at those papers.”
“Yes, sir.” I jumped up, and Lucky and I followed him out of the room.
“Just don’t keep anything else from me, okay?” she whispered and I squeezed her hand.
“Of course I won’t.” I waited outside the room for a moment and took my phone out of my pocket. I looked up to make sure Lucky wasn’t looking and replied to the text I had gotten on the drive over to the Johnsons’.
Hey Angelique, I can’t call you back right now but I’ve been missing you as well. I’d love to go to dinner. Are you free tomorrow night? xoxo.
I pressed ‘send’ and walked into the room quickly. I loved Lucky, but I couldn’t let Angelique go, especially not at this moment.
Chapter 6
Lucky
There was a warmth in my heart that I couldn’t shake. I couldn’t quite believe that Zane had decided to take up this project because of me. I felt my mouth aching to grin like an idiot, but I kept the huge smile off of my face because I didn’t want Sidney and Betty to think I was some sort of weirdo. He really did like me. All thoughts that this was just about sex left my mind. He had done everything he could to get me to a party, and then when that didn’t work, he had gone forward with a documentary that he had no real interest in, just because of me. All because he had wanted to be with me and get to know me. He had been as attracted to me as I was to him. I felt giddy inside and I looked up to see Mr. Johnson staring at me with a knowing look. I looked down, slightly embarrassed, but I just couldn’t wipe the wide smile off of my face.
As Zane walked into the room, I stared at him with a new perspective. All those months, I had just thought he was a handsome, cocky, and sometimes nice and interesting guy who came into the diner. I had grown to like him, but had always berated myself for falling for a guy I just knew had to be a player or wouldn’t be interested in me. And while I had reasons for those concerns, the truth of the matter was that Zane, like most of us, was just a really complicated human being. And he had been through a lot of shit. A lot of shit that had made him the man he was today: loving, shy, uneasy, jealous, untrusting. Sometimes I wondered if I had done the right thing coming here. Sometimes I felt like love was the daydream that you wanted to exist but never really lived up to the glory. But I realized that once you get a taste, a good sample of the real deal, you can’t let it go. The biggest issue I’d been worrying about was that Zane liked me, but had acted on it spur-of-the-moment. Knowing that he had been plotting and planning for ways to get me into his life cemented for me that this was real for Zane as well. This wasn’t about a possible baby, or some sex for him. This was about real feelings. This was about a mutual attraction we had built up for three months and finally acted upon. This was about us finding our happily ever after.
“Do you want to tell him, Lucky, or should I?” Zane’s voice cut into my thoughts, and as my eyes focused, I could see a concerned expression on his face.
“Sorry, what?” I blushed, embarrassed that I had zoned out and completely missed the conversation.
“Sidney was just asking if we knew what we wanted to focus on for the documentary. Any particular part of his life?”
“Oh, sorry.” I turned to Sidney and smiled. “Well, I think the central theme will be you, but we will use your family members’ stories and relate them back to you. If that’s okay.”
“It sounds good to me.” Sidney grinned. “To think, someone’s making a movie about my life.”
“I still want to focus it on what your early life was like,” I continued. “I think it’s important for people to know exactly what happened when African Americans moved to the North from the South. You know there is this general sentiment and belief that the North was more welcoming to blacks than the South, but that isn’t really true.”
“The North had its own problems.” Sidney nodded. “It wasn’t just us blacks, though; the Irish had it bad, the Italians, the Jews. None of us really fit in.”
“But they were able to assimilate a little bit better.” I paused. “Actually, maybe assimilate isn’t the right word, but they were able to fit into the norm a bit easier.”
“Well you know that song about when you’re black?” Sidney laughed.
I shook my head. “I don’t know the song, but I think I know what you’re talking about.” I looked over at Zane and he looked baffled, so I tried to explain it to him. “You know, when the Irish immigrated in mass numbers to the States, they were staunch Catholics, so they weren’t really accepted by the traditional WASP-y types who were Protestant. This was the same issues with the Jews. Most of the groups remained pretty insular, and there was a lot of hatred and mistrust among them. I guess the unknown and the different always does that.” I shook my head sadly. “But eventually the groups were able to come together a bit better, and these groups were able to move up the chain. Unfortunately, the same circumstances made it a bit harder for black people, because they were different in a way that would always be visible.”
“Ah, I see.” Zane looked at me thoughtfully. “But many black people did well for themselves, right? And when segregation ended, they had the same opportunities as everyone else.”
“That’s what we’d like to think,” I sighed. “But that wasn’t really the case. Many cities and states were vehemently against the ending of segregation and opposed it. There was one city, I think in Virginia, that basically stopped the school session for a pretty long period.”
“What?” Zane looked shocked. “That’s awful.”
“Well, you know the stories of the Little Rock Nine, right?” I looked at him curiously. “And how they were treated when they integrated the high school?”
“Vaguely.” Zane grimaced. “Sorry. I was never really a history person.”
“That’s okay, son,” Sidney chuckled. “Neither was I.”
“You’re too kind, Sidney.” Zane smiled at him. “And thank you for allowing me to take over this project from Noah.”
“That boy was like a son to me.” Sidney laughed. “I never met a white boy so concerned and incensed about race. He would get angry for me. I used to tell Betty that this was a boy we needed when we were growing up.”
“Noah always wanted to see the right thing getting done.” Zane smiled. “Even as a boy, he wanted to make sure that people were treated fair and kind.”
“We can talk about this later, Zane.” She frowned at me and turned back to Mr. Johnson. “I’m sorry about this. I didn’t realize that …”
“Lucky, I’ll let you know that I’m happy you came into Zane’s life. When Noah first contacted us, well, we were overjoyed. Betty and I couldn’t believe that someone wanted to tell our story. That people actually cared what happened to the kids that grew up in the 50s and went through the transition. I knew right away that there was a reason for Zane calling me.”
“I didn’t realize.” Lucky’s voice expressed the same surprise I felt.
“Noah used to talk about Zane all the time.” Sidney looked at me. “He was real proud of you, son.”
“Thank you.” I smiled as best as I could, even though I felt emotional. I wanted to ask him what else he talked about with my brother.
“I was happy when I got to meet you. Even if you were only picking up the documentary because of a girl.”
“I, uh …” I stammered, embarrassed at the situation.
“I wish you would have told me, Zane.” Lucky shook her head at me. “It’s sweet that you thought of me, but I just wish you would have told me that you lied.”
“Lucky, I want to tell you a story,” Sidney Johnson cut her off.
“Sure.” She turned to face him.
“It’s about me and my wife.” He chuckled and winked at me. “It’s about what I did for love.”
“Oh, you don’t have to tell me.” Lucky looked embarrassed.
“I want to tell you so you’re not too hard on your young man.”
“Oh.” She looked down and I saw a small smile on her face.
“So, when I first saw Betty walking them streets, I thought to myself, this is a young lady that has a purpose and she don’t want no boy like me. She wants herself a fine, respectable man.” He nodded to himself as he remembered the past. “So the first time I got to talk to her, I told her that I was getting a scholarship to study.”
“Wow, that was great,” Lucky interrupted him with a huge grin. “What was the scholarship for?”
“There was no scholarship and there was no school.” He laughed.
“What?”
“I lied.” He smiled. “I knew she would never talk to me if she knew I was hanging out with my friends on the streets.”
“And she didn’t know?”
“Not for many years.” He laughed. “By the time she finally gave me the time of day, I was in school and, as they say, the rest is history.”
“So you lied to her?”
“I don’t know if you can quite say lie, I like to think that I weaved some words together so that I could win her heart. Like a wordsmith.”
“I suppose so.” Lucky smiled and looked at me with veiled eyes. My heart thumped as she stared at me, and I wondered if this was going to be the hurdle that destroyed our relationship. When she issued me a small smile, I felt the tension lift from my shoulders. “Is there anything else I should know about, Zane?”
“No.” I shook my head and ignored the niggling feeling in me that told me I was lying. I felt like my phone was a ticking time bomb in my pants, but I couldn’t risk her finding out about that. “That’s all.” I could tell that Lucky wanted to ask me more questions, but we were both cognizant of the fact that Sidney was in the room with us.
“Who’s ready for tea and cookies?” Mrs. Johnson bustled into the room with a large tray and I jumped up to help her. I took the tray from her hands and placed it on the table carefully. She looked at me with a smile and handed me a cup and saucer. “Milk and sugar?”
“No milk, one sugar. Thanks.”
“I’ll have milk and three sugars, please.” Lucky laughed. “I have a sweet tooth.”
“I’ll say.”
“Zane.” She glared at me.
“What can I say? You do.” I grinned at her and Mr. Johnson chuckled before speaking. “Now, Lucky, tell me about your new idea.”
“When we first talked about this documentary,” Lucky paused and looked at me, “Zane and I were talking about filming several people, but I thought it would be more powerful if we did a documentary that focused on you and your family.” She took a breath and looked at Sidney again. “If that would be okay with you.”
“Of course it would be okay, dear child,” Betty answered for Sidney and Sidney laughed.
“She’s the boss, so if she says yes.” Sidney shrugged and Betty gave him a kiss on the forehead.
“I ain’t never been your boss, Sidney Johnson.” She shook her head and laughed. “Well, not that you’ve ever admitted it.”
“I try not to tell a lie.” Sidney winked at me and stood up. “Let me go and get my address book. I recently found one of my brothers. I think he can help. He has a good memory.”
“Recently found?” Lucky looked at him curiously.
“He done been lost for about 40 years.” Sidney shook his head. “I thought he was dead. But Betty here went inline and she found him.”
“Online, Sidney,” Betty corrected him.
“What?” He frowned at her.
“I went online and found him.”
“Oh?” Lucky took out her notepad.
“Yeah, there’s a website that helps you find people,” Betty continued. “My son helped me. We did it as a present for Sidney’s birthday.”
“He works for the government.” Sidney smiled. “He done good for himself. Got a good job. Had some kids. He even got married. He married himself a white lady.”
“Sidney!” Betty admonished him and smiled at us shaking her head.
“What, Betty?” He looked at her with a frown and she nodded at Lucky and me. “They don’t care if he married a white lady.” He laughed and Lucky and I joined him.
Watching Sidney and his wife, teasing each other and helping each other gave me hope for my future with Lucky, and gave me a glimpse into what aging love looked like. I’d be over the moon to be so happy with Lucky when we were senior citizens. To have kids and grandkids and a home full of love. I could rewrite my history. I could be the man that went from no love to an abundance of love. Sidney and Betty gave me hope for the future.
“Zane, are you okay?” Lucky walked over to me and touched my shoulder lightly. I looked up at the concern in her eyes and nodded.
“Sorry, I must have spaced out.”
“It’s okay.” She took hold of my hand. “I’m not mad about what you did. It’s even kind of romantic and sweet in a way.” She smiled. “Don’t worry.”
“Thanks,” I beamed at her, letting her think that that was the reason I had spaced out. “You’re the best.”
“As long as you tell her that every day, you’ll be okay,” Sidney shouted from the corner. “Now, let’s go and look at those papers.”
“Yes, sir.” I jumped up, and Lucky and I followed him out of the room.
“Just don’t keep anything else from me, okay?” she whispered and I squeezed her hand.
“Of course I won’t.” I waited outside the room for a moment and took my phone out of my pocket. I looked up to make sure Lucky wasn’t looking and replied to the text I had gotten on the drive over to the Johnsons’.
Hey Angelique, I can’t call you back right now but I’ve been missing you as well. I’d love to go to dinner. Are you free tomorrow night? xoxo.
I pressed ‘send’ and walked into the room quickly. I loved Lucky, but I couldn’t let Angelique go, especially not at this moment.
Chapter 6
Lucky
There was a warmth in my heart that I couldn’t shake. I couldn’t quite believe that Zane had decided to take up this project because of me. I felt my mouth aching to grin like an idiot, but I kept the huge smile off of my face because I didn’t want Sidney and Betty to think I was some sort of weirdo. He really did like me. All thoughts that this was just about sex left my mind. He had done everything he could to get me to a party, and then when that didn’t work, he had gone forward with a documentary that he had no real interest in, just because of me. All because he had wanted to be with me and get to know me. He had been as attracted to me as I was to him. I felt giddy inside and I looked up to see Mr. Johnson staring at me with a knowing look. I looked down, slightly embarrassed, but I just couldn’t wipe the wide smile off of my face.
As Zane walked into the room, I stared at him with a new perspective. All those months, I had just thought he was a handsome, cocky, and sometimes nice and interesting guy who came into the diner. I had grown to like him, but had always berated myself for falling for a guy I just knew had to be a player or wouldn’t be interested in me. And while I had reasons for those concerns, the truth of the matter was that Zane, like most of us, was just a really complicated human being. And he had been through a lot of shit. A lot of shit that had made him the man he was today: loving, shy, uneasy, jealous, untrusting. Sometimes I wondered if I had done the right thing coming here. Sometimes I felt like love was the daydream that you wanted to exist but never really lived up to the glory. But I realized that once you get a taste, a good sample of the real deal, you can’t let it go. The biggest issue I’d been worrying about was that Zane liked me, but had acted on it spur-of-the-moment. Knowing that he had been plotting and planning for ways to get me into his life cemented for me that this was real for Zane as well. This wasn’t about a possible baby, or some sex for him. This was about real feelings. This was about a mutual attraction we had built up for three months and finally acted upon. This was about us finding our happily ever after.
“Do you want to tell him, Lucky, or should I?” Zane’s voice cut into my thoughts, and as my eyes focused, I could see a concerned expression on his face.
“Sorry, what?” I blushed, embarrassed that I had zoned out and completely missed the conversation.
“Sidney was just asking if we knew what we wanted to focus on for the documentary. Any particular part of his life?”
“Oh, sorry.” I turned to Sidney and smiled. “Well, I think the central theme will be you, but we will use your family members’ stories and relate them back to you. If that’s okay.”
“It sounds good to me.” Sidney grinned. “To think, someone’s making a movie about my life.”
“I still want to focus it on what your early life was like,” I continued. “I think it’s important for people to know exactly what happened when African Americans moved to the North from the South. You know there is this general sentiment and belief that the North was more welcoming to blacks than the South, but that isn’t really true.”
“The North had its own problems.” Sidney nodded. “It wasn’t just us blacks, though; the Irish had it bad, the Italians, the Jews. None of us really fit in.”
“But they were able to assimilate a little bit better.” I paused. “Actually, maybe assimilate isn’t the right word, but they were able to fit into the norm a bit easier.”
“Well you know that song about when you’re black?” Sidney laughed.
I shook my head. “I don’t know the song, but I think I know what you’re talking about.” I looked over at Zane and he looked baffled, so I tried to explain it to him. “You know, when the Irish immigrated in mass numbers to the States, they were staunch Catholics, so they weren’t really accepted by the traditional WASP-y types who were Protestant. This was the same issues with the Jews. Most of the groups remained pretty insular, and there was a lot of hatred and mistrust among them. I guess the unknown and the different always does that.” I shook my head sadly. “But eventually the groups were able to come together a bit better, and these groups were able to move up the chain. Unfortunately, the same circumstances made it a bit harder for black people, because they were different in a way that would always be visible.”
“Ah, I see.” Zane looked at me thoughtfully. “But many black people did well for themselves, right? And when segregation ended, they had the same opportunities as everyone else.”
“That’s what we’d like to think,” I sighed. “But that wasn’t really the case. Many cities and states were vehemently against the ending of segregation and opposed it. There was one city, I think in Virginia, that basically stopped the school session for a pretty long period.”
“What?” Zane looked shocked. “That’s awful.”
“Well, you know the stories of the Little Rock Nine, right?” I looked at him curiously. “And how they were treated when they integrated the high school?”
“Vaguely.” Zane grimaced. “Sorry. I was never really a history person.”
“That’s okay, son,” Sidney chuckled. “Neither was I.”
“You’re too kind, Sidney.” Zane smiled at him. “And thank you for allowing me to take over this project from Noah.”
“That boy was like a son to me.” Sidney laughed. “I never met a white boy so concerned and incensed about race. He would get angry for me. I used to tell Betty that this was a boy we needed when we were growing up.”
“Noah always wanted to see the right thing getting done.” Zane smiled. “Even as a boy, he wanted to make sure that people were treated fair and kind.”
