The Lonely Hearts Club
Page 22
"Why do you encourage them?" I asked Tracy.
"Because it drives you crazy," the doorbell rang -- to the tune of "Love Me Do," of course.
"Let the festivities begin!" Tracy declared.
I'd been looking forward to this meeting all week. Just us girls, hanging out. But, part of me hoped that maybe, just maybe, it would end up being something bigger than that.
Once Tracy, Diane, Jen, Amy, Morgan, and I settled into the basement, got comfortable in the sofas, and started munching on chips, Tracy stood up and passed out a piece of paper to each of us.
I looked down and saw the Official Guidelines of Penny Lanes Lonely Hearts Club.
"Hey" I protested. "this isn't just MY Club .. !'
Tracy threw a chip at me, "Just read it, will you!"
The Official Guidelines of Penny, Lanes Lonely, Hearts Club
Heretofore are thy official rules for members of "Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club." All members must agree to such terms or thy membership shall be struck from thy record.
1. All members agree to stop dating men (or, if referring to the male population at McKinley High, "little boys") for the rest of thy high school existence. Whether or not said members want to date after high school, they choose to proceed at their own risk. Failure to adhere to this, the most sacred rule, will result in the highest punishment allowed by law -- streaking through the halls at McKinley after lunch,
2. Members will attend all couple events together as a group, including, but not limited to, Homecoming, Prom, parties, and other couply events, despite possibly being labeled as freaks and getting jealous looks from guys who wish we were their hot dates, but instead have to settle for some lame wannabe.
3. Saturday night is the official meeting night of Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club. Attendance is mandatory. Exceptions are for family emergencies and bad hair days only.
4. Members must be supportive of their friends, despite bad choices in clothing, hair, and/or music.
Violators of the rules are subject to membership disqualification, public humiliation, vicious rumors, and possible beheading.
I loved it. Granted, it was a little melodramatic in places (typical Tracy), but, all in all, it worked,
Jen looked at the list and let out a sigh. "Ever since you told me about the Club, I've been thinking about all the drama that has happened in my life because of boys. I mean, I recently found out that last year three of the guys on the boys' basketball team had a bet on who could deflower me. How stupid is that?" Jen rolled her eyes,
"Yeah, unfortunately Jon Cart took that privilege away from me last year," Amy shook her head. "if only I could get those forty-five seconds of my life back,"
"WHAT?!" Tracy practically screamed.
Amy covered her mouth. "Yeah, hate to break it to you, but losing it isn't that much fun."
Tracy looked disappointed. "Not that I'll ever get to know." She wrapped her arms around herself and pretended to sulk, "Stupid Club."
"Yeah, and in the continuing tradition of guys being total jerks to me for no reason, literally the second after it was over, he completely lost interest in me."
"Typical!' Jen agreed.
"Everything you see in the movies and on television is such crap. I did not see fireworks, and there was no sweeping symphony playing in my head." Amy glanced over at Diane. 'Although I'm sure with you and Ryan, there was probably candlelight and rose petals."
Diane blushed. "Um, not exactly."
I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear this.
"Please tell me there were at least silk sheets?" Amy said.
Diane said something, but her voice was so low it wasn't really audible.
"Um, maybe we should change the subject?" I suggested.
Diane looked around at all of us and smiled. "It's okay. it's just that. . . I'm a virgin,"
"YOU'RE A WHAT?" Tracy screamed and jumped off the couch. Diane just shrugged her shoulders.
No, Way.
She and Ryan were together for so long, they were practically married. Well, maybe those jokes about married people not having sex were true.
"Seriously!" Tracy screamed.
Diane nodded. "Seriously,"
"Wow."
After an awkward pause, Diane got up and walked over to Tracy. "thank you, Tracy," she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "thank you for thinking all this time that I was a huge slut."
Tracy shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, judging my friends is what I'm here for."
"Penny, can we please put some music on so we can drown her out?" Diane smiled at me.
"Yeah, like any speaker could do that," Tracy countered.
I couldn't have agreed with Diane more. I already knew the perfect song to blast.
What else?
"Come together."
"You really don't have to worry about cleaning up," I said to Diane after everybody else had left. I washed out a few soda cans that needed to be recycled.
"Well, I wanted to ask you something."
I sat down at the kitchen table next to her.
She shifted uncomfortably. "Do you think it's weird?"
"the Club?"
"No, no. that Ryan and I never .. ."
"Um, well, I guess I just assumed ... .
She looked down at the floor. "Yeah, I know. it's just, . . can I tell you something?"
I nodded.
"I've never told anybody this before, but we tried to once. Last New Year's we were going to -- we had it all planned out. My parents were staying the night in the city so we went back to my room after Todd's party and we did have candles and he did buy me roses.. ." Diane laughed. "I guess we were so predictable." Her smile slowly vanished, and she sat still for a while.
"Because it drives you crazy," the doorbell rang -- to the tune of "Love Me Do," of course.
"Let the festivities begin!" Tracy declared.
I'd been looking forward to this meeting all week. Just us girls, hanging out. But, part of me hoped that maybe, just maybe, it would end up being something bigger than that.
Once Tracy, Diane, Jen, Amy, Morgan, and I settled into the basement, got comfortable in the sofas, and started munching on chips, Tracy stood up and passed out a piece of paper to each of us.
I looked down and saw the Official Guidelines of Penny Lanes Lonely Hearts Club.
"Hey" I protested. "this isn't just MY Club .. !'
Tracy threw a chip at me, "Just read it, will you!"
The Official Guidelines of Penny, Lanes Lonely, Hearts Club
Heretofore are thy official rules for members of "Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club." All members must agree to such terms or thy membership shall be struck from thy record.
1. All members agree to stop dating men (or, if referring to the male population at McKinley High, "little boys") for the rest of thy high school existence. Whether or not said members want to date after high school, they choose to proceed at their own risk. Failure to adhere to this, the most sacred rule, will result in the highest punishment allowed by law -- streaking through the halls at McKinley after lunch,
2. Members will attend all couple events together as a group, including, but not limited to, Homecoming, Prom, parties, and other couply events, despite possibly being labeled as freaks and getting jealous looks from guys who wish we were their hot dates, but instead have to settle for some lame wannabe.
3. Saturday night is the official meeting night of Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club. Attendance is mandatory. Exceptions are for family emergencies and bad hair days only.
4. Members must be supportive of their friends, despite bad choices in clothing, hair, and/or music.
Violators of the rules are subject to membership disqualification, public humiliation, vicious rumors, and possible beheading.
I loved it. Granted, it was a little melodramatic in places (typical Tracy), but, all in all, it worked,
Jen looked at the list and let out a sigh. "Ever since you told me about the Club, I've been thinking about all the drama that has happened in my life because of boys. I mean, I recently found out that last year three of the guys on the boys' basketball team had a bet on who could deflower me. How stupid is that?" Jen rolled her eyes,
"Yeah, unfortunately Jon Cart took that privilege away from me last year," Amy shook her head. "if only I could get those forty-five seconds of my life back,"
"WHAT?!" Tracy practically screamed.
Amy covered her mouth. "Yeah, hate to break it to you, but losing it isn't that much fun."
Tracy looked disappointed. "Not that I'll ever get to know." She wrapped her arms around herself and pretended to sulk, "Stupid Club."
"Yeah, and in the continuing tradition of guys being total jerks to me for no reason, literally the second after it was over, he completely lost interest in me."
"Typical!' Jen agreed.
"Everything you see in the movies and on television is such crap. I did not see fireworks, and there was no sweeping symphony playing in my head." Amy glanced over at Diane. 'Although I'm sure with you and Ryan, there was probably candlelight and rose petals."
Diane blushed. "Um, not exactly."
I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear this.
"Please tell me there were at least silk sheets?" Amy said.
Diane said something, but her voice was so low it wasn't really audible.
"Um, maybe we should change the subject?" I suggested.
Diane looked around at all of us and smiled. "It's okay. it's just that. . . I'm a virgin,"
"YOU'RE A WHAT?" Tracy screamed and jumped off the couch. Diane just shrugged her shoulders.
No, Way.
She and Ryan were together for so long, they were practically married. Well, maybe those jokes about married people not having sex were true.
"Seriously!" Tracy screamed.
Diane nodded. "Seriously,"
"Wow."
After an awkward pause, Diane got up and walked over to Tracy. "thank you, Tracy," she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "thank you for thinking all this time that I was a huge slut."
Tracy shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, judging my friends is what I'm here for."
"Penny, can we please put some music on so we can drown her out?" Diane smiled at me.
"Yeah, like any speaker could do that," Tracy countered.
I couldn't have agreed with Diane more. I already knew the perfect song to blast.
What else?
"Come together."
"You really don't have to worry about cleaning up," I said to Diane after everybody else had left. I washed out a few soda cans that needed to be recycled.
"Well, I wanted to ask you something."
I sat down at the kitchen table next to her.
She shifted uncomfortably. "Do you think it's weird?"
"the Club?"
"No, no. that Ryan and I never .. ."
"Um, well, I guess I just assumed ... .
She looked down at the floor. "Yeah, I know. it's just, . . can I tell you something?"
I nodded.
"I've never told anybody this before, but we tried to once. Last New Year's we were going to -- we had it all planned out. My parents were staying the night in the city so we went back to my room after Todd's party and we did have candles and he did buy me roses.. ." Diane laughed. "I guess we were so predictable." Her smile slowly vanished, and she sat still for a while.
