The Look of Love
Page 24
Pride was fine and dandy. But not when she was going to desperately need the fuel to keep going.
Only, what had tasted so delicious the previous morning was sawdust in her mouth now, and she had to force herself to eat the croissant she’d picked up.
Of course, the folded note with Chloe written on it in Chase’s handwriting didn’t help, either. As she chewed and swallowed, she stared at the paper.
She swore it stared back.
It would be better not to read it. Just to walk out of here, say her thank-yous and goodbyes, and forget she’d ever met a beautiful man whose kisses tasted like heaven.
But Chase had been nothing but kind to her. So kind, in fact, that instead of taking her the way she’d been so desperate to be taken the previous evening, he’d put a halt to their kisses. He’d actually pulled his hand from her panties after she came for him and walked her home without another touch.
Oh, that first kiss had been intense. Wicked. Perfect. She could have kissed him all night. Chloe had dreamed of that kiss all night long, could still feel the way they’d almost been taking breath from each other’s lungs. She’d woken up aching for another kiss…and for the chance to cuddle up with Chase under a blanket somewhere and just kiss all night long.
It was that urge to cuddle with him, that desperate desire to feel warm and safe, that clarified her intention. She had to leave.
But the truth was, she’d wonder what had been in his note every second of every day if she didn’t look at it. As she grabbed it off the counter top, the edges crumpled with her rough handling.
Chloe,
I hope you slept well. One day soon, I’m going to be able to enjoy breakfast with you. I’m looking forward to that. A lot.
Please join us again today. Everyone thinks you’re great.
See you soon,
Hotstuff
HOTSTUFF
P.S. It does need all caps, don’t you think?
Somewhere between the A lot and the crossed-out Hotstuff, all the tingly, mushy feelings that Chloe had been trying to squash inside of herself popped back to life. Bigger and stronger than they’d been before, even.
Last night, she’d been riding a light buzz and enjoying herself until Marcus’s innocent questions. At which point she’d started guzzling his wine. Chase had known she wasn’t all there, that the wine had dulled her just enough for her to give up control without a thought of protecting herself.
But they’d been so close to what she’d wanted and a not-so-secret part of her wished that he hadn’t stopped them from making love. So much of her wished that he had just taken advantage of the fact that she was a little drunk.
What was wrong with her? If that’s what she was wishing for, then she had some serious problems. And Lord knew if she couldn’t control her mind—or body—around Chase any better than that, staying was definitely out of the question.
It didn’t matter that she still had nowhere to go. It didn’t matter that her situation with her ex hadn’t changed and that she still needed to deal with police and see what they could do—if anything—to help her. Enough of this fantasy la-la-winery-land, with the beautiful clothes, pretending that this great guy was hers. None of that was reality. It was just prolonging the inevitable for another three days: Dealing with her ex, making sure he never hurt her again, and then rebuilding her life from the ground up and making sure it was the life she wanted this time.
Now for the hard part: saying goodbye to Chase.
Something told her it was going to be harder than getting hit in the face by her ex. More painful than driving into a ditch. Worse than standing in the middle of a hail storm.
Chase had been incredibly honorable. She owed him the same respect. She wasn’t just going to sneak away. She wasn’t just going to leave him a note like a coward.
She needed to head out to the vineyards where he was photographing the models with his crew, pull up her big-girl panties, and say a proper goodbye to his face. Sneaking out was for wimps. And even though the wimp inside her longed to prevail, it was time for her to learn how to be strong.
It was time to tell Chase goodbye.
* * *
“Chloe, thank God you’re here!”
Jeremy looked frazzled. And not just because he’d been enjoying the fruits of Marcus’s cellar along with the rest of them the previous night.
“Chase was just about to send me to see if you were up yet.” His glasses were on crooked as he explained, “Alice has the stomach flu.”
“I’ll go check on her,” Chloe immediately offered, dropping her bag to the ground.
Jeremy grabbed her arm. “No! I mean, a doctor has been in to see her, but we can’t risk anyone else getting sick if they don’t have it already.”
Chloe shook her head. “But I’m not part of the crew. I can stay with her and then you all can—”
She felt Chase’s presence a split second before he moved into her line of vision. “We need you to take over for her.”
Chloe blinked once. Twice. “Me?” She frowned. “What makes you think I can take over for her?”
“You were a lifesaver yesterday.”
“I sewed up one dress.”
“You did more than that. I saw you talking with Alice, helping her put outfits together.”
Chloe shook her head. “They were offhand comments. I wasn’t trying to take over her job.”
“I know that. She knows that. But the fact is, you’ve got a great eye for color and pattern. You instinctively know what works. And the models trust you. They like you. That matters more than you know. If they feel great, they look great.”
She opened her mouth to protest again, but before she could, he moved a little closer, close enough that her already racing heart all but jumped out of her chest. “We all need your help. I need your help.”
How could she say no to him? He’d saved her that night on the road. Instead of being picked up by a ra**st axe-murderer, Chase had been a full-on knight in shining armor. And now he needed her help.
She saw his gaze drop to the bag at her feet, then up the legs of her jeans, over her T-shirt, and come back to her face. When his gaze met hers again, she could see that he knew exactly what she’d been coming here to do: to say goodbye.
He didn’t hide his disappointment from her. And oh God, she couldn’t believe how much she hated seeing it. She wanted the man back who looked at her like she was lovely. Like he wanted her so bad that he was barely a breath away from taking her.
That was when she realized that even though she’d come to say goodbye to his face, it didn’t change the fact that she was running again.
Only, what had tasted so delicious the previous morning was sawdust in her mouth now, and she had to force herself to eat the croissant she’d picked up.
Of course, the folded note with Chloe written on it in Chase’s handwriting didn’t help, either. As she chewed and swallowed, she stared at the paper.
She swore it stared back.
It would be better not to read it. Just to walk out of here, say her thank-yous and goodbyes, and forget she’d ever met a beautiful man whose kisses tasted like heaven.
But Chase had been nothing but kind to her. So kind, in fact, that instead of taking her the way she’d been so desperate to be taken the previous evening, he’d put a halt to their kisses. He’d actually pulled his hand from her panties after she came for him and walked her home without another touch.
Oh, that first kiss had been intense. Wicked. Perfect. She could have kissed him all night. Chloe had dreamed of that kiss all night long, could still feel the way they’d almost been taking breath from each other’s lungs. She’d woken up aching for another kiss…and for the chance to cuddle up with Chase under a blanket somewhere and just kiss all night long.
It was that urge to cuddle with him, that desperate desire to feel warm and safe, that clarified her intention. She had to leave.
But the truth was, she’d wonder what had been in his note every second of every day if she didn’t look at it. As she grabbed it off the counter top, the edges crumpled with her rough handling.
Chloe,
I hope you slept well. One day soon, I’m going to be able to enjoy breakfast with you. I’m looking forward to that. A lot.
Please join us again today. Everyone thinks you’re great.
See you soon,
Hotstuff
HOTSTUFF
P.S. It does need all caps, don’t you think?
Somewhere between the A lot and the crossed-out Hotstuff, all the tingly, mushy feelings that Chloe had been trying to squash inside of herself popped back to life. Bigger and stronger than they’d been before, even.
Last night, she’d been riding a light buzz and enjoying herself until Marcus’s innocent questions. At which point she’d started guzzling his wine. Chase had known she wasn’t all there, that the wine had dulled her just enough for her to give up control without a thought of protecting herself.
But they’d been so close to what she’d wanted and a not-so-secret part of her wished that he hadn’t stopped them from making love. So much of her wished that he had just taken advantage of the fact that she was a little drunk.
What was wrong with her? If that’s what she was wishing for, then she had some serious problems. And Lord knew if she couldn’t control her mind—or body—around Chase any better than that, staying was definitely out of the question.
It didn’t matter that she still had nowhere to go. It didn’t matter that her situation with her ex hadn’t changed and that she still needed to deal with police and see what they could do—if anything—to help her. Enough of this fantasy la-la-winery-land, with the beautiful clothes, pretending that this great guy was hers. None of that was reality. It was just prolonging the inevitable for another three days: Dealing with her ex, making sure he never hurt her again, and then rebuilding her life from the ground up and making sure it was the life she wanted this time.
Now for the hard part: saying goodbye to Chase.
Something told her it was going to be harder than getting hit in the face by her ex. More painful than driving into a ditch. Worse than standing in the middle of a hail storm.
Chase had been incredibly honorable. She owed him the same respect. She wasn’t just going to sneak away. She wasn’t just going to leave him a note like a coward.
She needed to head out to the vineyards where he was photographing the models with his crew, pull up her big-girl panties, and say a proper goodbye to his face. Sneaking out was for wimps. And even though the wimp inside her longed to prevail, it was time for her to learn how to be strong.
It was time to tell Chase goodbye.
* * *
“Chloe, thank God you’re here!”
Jeremy looked frazzled. And not just because he’d been enjoying the fruits of Marcus’s cellar along with the rest of them the previous night.
“Chase was just about to send me to see if you were up yet.” His glasses were on crooked as he explained, “Alice has the stomach flu.”
“I’ll go check on her,” Chloe immediately offered, dropping her bag to the ground.
Jeremy grabbed her arm. “No! I mean, a doctor has been in to see her, but we can’t risk anyone else getting sick if they don’t have it already.”
Chloe shook her head. “But I’m not part of the crew. I can stay with her and then you all can—”
She felt Chase’s presence a split second before he moved into her line of vision. “We need you to take over for her.”
Chloe blinked once. Twice. “Me?” She frowned. “What makes you think I can take over for her?”
“You were a lifesaver yesterday.”
“I sewed up one dress.”
“You did more than that. I saw you talking with Alice, helping her put outfits together.”
Chloe shook her head. “They were offhand comments. I wasn’t trying to take over her job.”
“I know that. She knows that. But the fact is, you’ve got a great eye for color and pattern. You instinctively know what works. And the models trust you. They like you. That matters more than you know. If they feel great, they look great.”
She opened her mouth to protest again, but before she could, he moved a little closer, close enough that her already racing heart all but jumped out of her chest. “We all need your help. I need your help.”
How could she say no to him? He’d saved her that night on the road. Instead of being picked up by a ra**st axe-murderer, Chase had been a full-on knight in shining armor. And now he needed her help.
She saw his gaze drop to the bag at her feet, then up the legs of her jeans, over her T-shirt, and come back to her face. When his gaze met hers again, she could see that he knew exactly what she’d been coming here to do: to say goodbye.
He didn’t hide his disappointment from her. And oh God, she couldn’t believe how much she hated seeing it. She wanted the man back who looked at her like she was lovely. Like he wanted her so bad that he was barely a breath away from taking her.
That was when she realized that even though she’d come to say goodbye to his face, it didn’t change the fact that she was running again.
