The Master
Page 75
But Abby didn’t ask her anything. She leaned forward. “Nathaniel and I were together as Dominant and submissive when we first met. It was sex only. No feelings. Nothing.”
Sasha’s eyes widened. She hadn’t heard of their courtship. They didn’t date first. That was surprising. Especially considering how crazy in love they were now.
“I’m not going to sugarcoat anything. He was an ass. I won’t go into details about how, because that’s in the past. All you need to know is he was an ass. He hurt me emotionally, and I left him. Took his collar off in front of him, put it on the table, and walked out.”
“Wow.”
“We didn’t speak after that for months. In fact, I’m not sure we would have ever spoken again except my best friend married his cousin.” Abby shook her head, remembering. “But they got married and Nathaniel was best man and I was maid of honor.”
“I’m guessing you two worked it out?”
“We did. The thing I want you to know is men can be assholes. Even the best of men. Even the Dominant men. Maybe especially the Dominant ones. Because they think they’re protecting us or doing what’s best for us. And all they’re doing is breaking our hearts.”
Sasha raised an eyebrow. “Has Cole spoken to Nathaniel?”
“No.” Abby shook her head. “At least, not that I know of. I heard Cole had a speech to give at some women’s club, but that’s all. I just know how men are and I know Cole. If he thought it’d be in your best interest to be without him, he’d let you go even if it killed him.”
“Even if it made him look like an ass?”
“I’m not saying he’s acted like one. Just that men don’t always think clearly when emotions are involved.”
“I don’t get it, though. He was with Kate for years.”
“Don’t assume you know how that relationship went. Just because they were together for years, even in a twenty-four/seven relationship, doesn’t mean they were the loves of each other’s lives.”
“But eight years.”
Abby shook her head again. “Doesn’t mean anything. It might have been they thought it easier to stay together than to find someone new. Although in this case, I know children came into the picture.”
“Cole has a child?” Hell, she didn’t know him at all.
“No, that was the problem. He didn’t tell you? Kate wanted kids and he didn’t. Or doesn’t.”
“Oh.” That was interesting. She wondered why it never came up that he didn’t want kids. Especially with her knitting on the floor by his feet. He’d never said anything.
“I guess the fact that he didn’t tell me speaks volumes.”
Abby wrinkled her forehead. “What do you mean?”
“If the kid thing meant so much to him and I meant so much to him, he would have told me. The fact that he didn’t tell me leads me to believe he didn’t care so much for me.”
“Now, that’s where you’d be wrong, little one.”
She thought she’d imagined it, but just in case, she looked to the door and gasped.
He stood in her doorway with a huge grin on his face. “You really should lock your door. It’s not safe to leave it otherwise.” He nodded toward Abby. “Abby.”
“Hey, Cole,” Abby said.
Sasha was still staring at him like he’d descended from a UFO. Cole was here. In her apartment. “Cole,” she said. “What are you . . . why?”
He walked farther into the room. “Abby, if you don’t mind, I’d like to speak to Sasha privately. Matter of fact, I’ll make you a deal. If you let us talk privately, I won’t tell Nathaniel about the asshole speech.”
“Please.” She waved her hand. “Nathaniel wrote the asshole speech.”
Cole lifted an eyebrow.
“Okay, okay.” Abby stood up. “I’m out of here. Call me, Sasha. And you.” She pointed to Cole. “You were picked for a reason. Live up to it.”
“I will,” Cole said. “Now out.”
Sasha couldn’t keep her eyes off him, afraid if she looked away that he’d disappear. But he wasn’t saying anything.
“Why are you here?” she whispered.
“The short answer is, I’m not letting you chase me away.”
Her breath caught. “What?”
“I’m a Dom worthy of your time.” He took three steps in her direction. “So I’m not letting you chase me away. I don’t care how long it takes or what I have to do. I’m going to prove I’m the man able to Master you.”
She got up and stopped when she stood in front of him. Not quite close enough to touch. “What made you change your mind?”
“I thought it wouldn’t be right for me to ask you to only be with me. That I’d be somehow cheating you out of something if you didn’t experience more than what I offered.” His expression grew serious and he looked unsure for the first time. “But I love you, Sasha, and if you might perhaps feel the same about me, I think maybe it doesn’t matter that you experience other Dominants.”
He loved her?
She couldn’t contain her silly grin. He loved her.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. “And no, it doesn’t. It doesn’t mean I’m not strong if I only want to be with you. It just means I only want to be with you. I’m sorry I didn’t understand sooner, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you failed me.”
“And I’m sorry I let my fears and doubts get the best of me.” He closed the distance between them and cupped her face. “You are more than just strong, you’re strong enough for both of us.”
She entwined her fingers in his. “I can’t imagine you’re afraid of anything. What do you fear?”
“Abby was right. I don’t want kids. Ever. It was one of the things that ended my relationship with Kate. I should have told you sooner, but since I wouldn’t allow myself to think of a future with you, I didn’t see why I should.”
“Cole, I—”
“Wait,” he said. “Let me finish. You’re my air, I need you, and if you want kids, well, we’ll somehow work it out. But I’m not going to let that keep us apart.” His smile eased the hurt in her heart. “You’re more than my air, you’re my sun, and my moon, and when I’m weary and tired, you’re my shelter.” He lowered his head so their foreheads touched. “Let me be the same to you.”
Sasha’s eyes widened. She hadn’t heard of their courtship. They didn’t date first. That was surprising. Especially considering how crazy in love they were now.
“I’m not going to sugarcoat anything. He was an ass. I won’t go into details about how, because that’s in the past. All you need to know is he was an ass. He hurt me emotionally, and I left him. Took his collar off in front of him, put it on the table, and walked out.”
“Wow.”
“We didn’t speak after that for months. In fact, I’m not sure we would have ever spoken again except my best friend married his cousin.” Abby shook her head, remembering. “But they got married and Nathaniel was best man and I was maid of honor.”
“I’m guessing you two worked it out?”
“We did. The thing I want you to know is men can be assholes. Even the best of men. Even the Dominant men. Maybe especially the Dominant ones. Because they think they’re protecting us or doing what’s best for us. And all they’re doing is breaking our hearts.”
Sasha raised an eyebrow. “Has Cole spoken to Nathaniel?”
“No.” Abby shook her head. “At least, not that I know of. I heard Cole had a speech to give at some women’s club, but that’s all. I just know how men are and I know Cole. If he thought it’d be in your best interest to be without him, he’d let you go even if it killed him.”
“Even if it made him look like an ass?”
“I’m not saying he’s acted like one. Just that men don’t always think clearly when emotions are involved.”
“I don’t get it, though. He was with Kate for years.”
“Don’t assume you know how that relationship went. Just because they were together for years, even in a twenty-four/seven relationship, doesn’t mean they were the loves of each other’s lives.”
“But eight years.”
Abby shook her head again. “Doesn’t mean anything. It might have been they thought it easier to stay together than to find someone new. Although in this case, I know children came into the picture.”
“Cole has a child?” Hell, she didn’t know him at all.
“No, that was the problem. He didn’t tell you? Kate wanted kids and he didn’t. Or doesn’t.”
“Oh.” That was interesting. She wondered why it never came up that he didn’t want kids. Especially with her knitting on the floor by his feet. He’d never said anything.
“I guess the fact that he didn’t tell me speaks volumes.”
Abby wrinkled her forehead. “What do you mean?”
“If the kid thing meant so much to him and I meant so much to him, he would have told me. The fact that he didn’t tell me leads me to believe he didn’t care so much for me.”
“Now, that’s where you’d be wrong, little one.”
She thought she’d imagined it, but just in case, she looked to the door and gasped.
He stood in her doorway with a huge grin on his face. “You really should lock your door. It’s not safe to leave it otherwise.” He nodded toward Abby. “Abby.”
“Hey, Cole,” Abby said.
Sasha was still staring at him like he’d descended from a UFO. Cole was here. In her apartment. “Cole,” she said. “What are you . . . why?”
He walked farther into the room. “Abby, if you don’t mind, I’d like to speak to Sasha privately. Matter of fact, I’ll make you a deal. If you let us talk privately, I won’t tell Nathaniel about the asshole speech.”
“Please.” She waved her hand. “Nathaniel wrote the asshole speech.”
Cole lifted an eyebrow.
“Okay, okay.” Abby stood up. “I’m out of here. Call me, Sasha. And you.” She pointed to Cole. “You were picked for a reason. Live up to it.”
“I will,” Cole said. “Now out.”
Sasha couldn’t keep her eyes off him, afraid if she looked away that he’d disappear. But he wasn’t saying anything.
“Why are you here?” she whispered.
“The short answer is, I’m not letting you chase me away.”
Her breath caught. “What?”
“I’m a Dom worthy of your time.” He took three steps in her direction. “So I’m not letting you chase me away. I don’t care how long it takes or what I have to do. I’m going to prove I’m the man able to Master you.”
She got up and stopped when she stood in front of him. Not quite close enough to touch. “What made you change your mind?”
“I thought it wouldn’t be right for me to ask you to only be with me. That I’d be somehow cheating you out of something if you didn’t experience more than what I offered.” His expression grew serious and he looked unsure for the first time. “But I love you, Sasha, and if you might perhaps feel the same about me, I think maybe it doesn’t matter that you experience other Dominants.”
He loved her?
She couldn’t contain her silly grin. He loved her.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. “And no, it doesn’t. It doesn’t mean I’m not strong if I only want to be with you. It just means I only want to be with you. I’m sorry I didn’t understand sooner, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you failed me.”
“And I’m sorry I let my fears and doubts get the best of me.” He closed the distance between them and cupped her face. “You are more than just strong, you’re strong enough for both of us.”
She entwined her fingers in his. “I can’t imagine you’re afraid of anything. What do you fear?”
“Abby was right. I don’t want kids. Ever. It was one of the things that ended my relationship with Kate. I should have told you sooner, but since I wouldn’t allow myself to think of a future with you, I didn’t see why I should.”
“Cole, I—”
“Wait,” he said. “Let me finish. You’re my air, I need you, and if you want kids, well, we’ll somehow work it out. But I’m not going to let that keep us apart.” His smile eased the hurt in her heart. “You’re more than my air, you’re my sun, and my moon, and when I’m weary and tired, you’re my shelter.” He lowered his head so their foreheads touched. “Let me be the same to you.”
