The Other Side of Love
Page 16
“Do you not find me attractive anymore?” Her tone changed to one of pity and hurt, and I looked over at her. She looked distraught, but I wasn’t sure if it was because she was genuinely sad that I was pulling away from her or just because her feminine wiles won’t working.
“You’re beautiful.” I stared at her and answered honestly.
“I don’t mean to be like this, you know.” Her eyes were open and held a touch of bleakness. “I’ve just been through so much in my life. Every day I’m just in survival mode. I’m just trying to get by. I just want to be free.” Tears slid from her eyes. “I just want to get out of here and be free.”
“I know you do.” I held her hand and squeezed it compassionately, and for one moment we were once again united in our grief.
“I hope that today hasn’t been filled with too many bombshells,” I grimaced as I got into the car with Robin. “I bet you’re wishing that you didn’t come over to the Johnsons’ today.”
“Not at all,” she laughed. “Though it has been one of those Days of Our Lives types of day.”
“That’s a lot of family information for you to get at one time.” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing as we pulled out of the Johnsons’ driveway. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you never wanted to see me again.”
“If that’s all you’ve got, then your life is nothing compared to mine.” She grinned at me, but I saw a tinge of truth and sadness in her eyes. “But, just to clear things up: no, I do not want to not see you again. I’m actually glad that Zane and Lucky intervened.”
“So am I,” I laughed again. “Though do not tell them that. I don’t want them thinking that they can try to dictate my life, but they definitely helped me here. Especially after the other night.”
“What happened there?” She looked over at me curiously.
“I’m not sure.” I looked at her. “I got the feeling that we both weren’t ready to be in a certain place.”
“Yeah, perhaps.” She sat back and looked out the window. “I guess we’re both treading water here.”
“Would you like to go to a movie with me?” I blurted out before I could think about it too much. “I can also just take you home if you prefer.”
“What about your brother? Don’t you want to be with him?”
“I think he’d rather be with Lucky right now.” I smiled at her, happy to see that she was the kind of woman who thought about others before herself. “I’m sure we’ll be doing more talking tomorrow. Once he has time to get over the initial shock, I’m pretty sure he will have a lot more questions.”
“That was brave of you to tell him at the Johnsons’.” Her voice was light and non-judgmental, which I appreciated. “Weren’t you worried he would just lose it and go off on you?”
“Yes,” I laughed, “but Sidney is like my family. He’s known pretty much everything. He was the one who helped me find the private detective. He’s the one who has been badgering me to tell Zane. I know this sounds crazy, but I always knew I wanted Sidney to be around when I told Zane. He’s like my support system. Do I sound like a total weirdo to you right now?”
“No, of course not.” She reached over and squeezed my arm. “He seems really nice and so does his wife. Before you and Lucky arrived, I was talking to them and they really showed a genuine interest in me. It was like they knew exactly what to say to make me feel better about myself.”
“It’s a gift that they have.” I smiled at her warmly, glad that she had taken to them both. “It’s like they can see into your soul and the worries that you have, and they soothe you with their words and care.”
“Yes,” she nodded. “When Sidney spoke to me, I felt like he knew where I was coming from and what my dreams and obstacles were. It was funny.” Her voice grew low. “It’s hard to meet people who genuinely care about you like that. Who want to know your story, rather than just talk about themselves.”
“Yes, yes, it is.”
“So, you were in witness protection?” She changed the subject. “How did I not know that? That’s crazy.”
“I wasn’t technically in witness protection.” I laughed. “But yes, I was helping the FBI and the DEA with a case and I had to disappear.”
“Okay, I take back my earlier statement. Your life isn’t like Days of our Lives, it’s more like Mission Impossible.”
“Not really. All I had to do was go hide out in a small town in Florida. It was Zane who was actually getting to the bottom of the case.”
“That must have been hard, though, leaving your family.”
“It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life.” I found myself driving back to Zane’s house instead of the movie. “The day I realized that I had to fake my own suicide and have my brother believe I was dead is still surreal to me.”
“What made you go along with it?”
“The agent who was in charge of the case told me that unless I complied, it was likely that they would come after me and my family, which, honestly, I doubted. But then he said, ‘Think of all the other innocent lives you could be saving. The lives that get caught in the crossfire. They were drug dealers, they didn’t care who they hurt.’ And that’s when I knew I had to do it. Special Agent Waldron had shown me photographs of many of the people that they believed were killed by the cartel and there were over twenty children. I didn’t want there to be any new faces added to that pile.”
“Wow.” Robin’s eyes widened. “You’re really selfless. Now you make me feel bad for going off on you two times.”
“I just did what anyone with a conscience would have done.” I shrugged. “And I’m pretty sure you will go off on me again, at some point. I can be infuriating, just ask Zane.” I laughed.
“Where are we going?” She looked out the window as she laughed.
“I figured we could watch a movie.” I paused. “But at home, if that’s not too presumptuous. You didn’t answer earlier and so I thought this may be nice. We can relax, have a few laughs and be comfortable.”
“Sounds good to me.” She gave me a wide smile. “Are you sure we won’t be bothering Zane and Lucky?”
“Well, here’s the other part.” I made a face at her. “I was hoping we could watch it in my room? I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not because I want to sleep with you. I have a king-sized bed so we won’t even have to touch. I just figured it will give us more privacy if they are already home, or if they come home while we are still watching it.”
“Don’t worry, Noah.” She giggled. “I understand.”
“Phew.” I pulled into the driveway. “I didn’t want you thinking this was another seduction move. And that all I wanted from you was a night of hot sex.”
“Don’t remind me of that last conversation.” She groaned. “I’m surprised you don’t think I’m bipolar.”
“You’re not?” I feigned surprise and she hit me in the shoulder before we both jumped out of the car.
“Funny.” She laughed. “Though I suppose I deserve that.”
“Let’s go inside.” I walked over to her side of the car and grabbed her hand. As we touched, I felt another spark jolt through me and I smiled to myself knowing that the connection I had witnessed previously was still there.
“So, are you going to tell me more about your time in Florida? Where did you go?” Robin looked up at me with a happy face, and I felt my heart start to pound. How could I tell her about everything that had happened in Palm Bonita? It was all so complicated and heartbreaking. I didn’t want to burden her with all that information. Not in the same day she had found out about all my family drama. It almost seemed too much. I didn’t want to lose her right when I was getting to know her because of an information overload. Not when I was finally getting a do-over with her. Plus, I didn’t know how to tell her about Skylar. I didn’t know if she would understand.
“There’s not really much to tell.” I said smoothly. “I stayed in a small town called Palm Bonita and basically just sat around and waited until I was able to come home.”
“Oh, that sucks.” She gave my upper arm a squeeze. “That must have been so boring. Did you make any friends?”
“Not really.” I shook my head. “I kept to myself most of the time.”
“Aww, that’s awful. What were the people like? Did they ask you where you came from?” Her eyes were excited. “I bet they were all curious as to who you were.”
“Not really.” Which was true. The people in Palm Bonita didn’t ask questions because they didn’t want anyone to ask them anything, either.
“So what did you do?” She looked confused. “Just sat and watched TV?”
“I did a lot of TV watching.” I nodded. “Not much else. I didn’t really have any friends, so I was by myself quite a bit.”
“So,” she paused. “No special lady friends?” Her eyes looked into mine questioningly, and my stomach churned.
“Not really.” I lied, feeling horrible as I did so. But I knew that Robin didn’t want to know about my relationship in Palm Bonita. She didn’t want to hear about all the places we had sex and how I lost myself in the relationship because I fell in love.
“Oh, wow.” She laughed. “Sorry for the twenty questions.”
“That’s okay. What about you? When did you last date?” I asked her, honestly wanting to know the answer but also wanting to take the focus of the conversation away from myself.
“Right before I moved to Los Angeles.” She gave me a weak smile. “What movie are we going to watch?” She walked away from me and looked at some of the pictures Zane had up on the wall. “These are cool.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “They were painted by kids with cancer.”
“Oh, that’s sad.”
“Cancer is a horrible disease.” I agreed. “Zane does everything he can to support cancer research. He gives a lot of money to a lot of different hospitals.” I paused. “But honestly, I think the best part is that he goes and he visits the kids and he talks to them and plays with them, and he supports their visions for the future.”
“Wow, that’s amazing.”
“Yeah. He’s pretty cool.” I nodded and I felt warm inside as I once again realized how blessed I was to have him as a brother.
“Want anything to eat or drink before we go upstairs?”
“Do you have any wine?” She laughed. “Or chocolate?”
“I think we have both. And strawberries, if you want some.”
“That sounds delicious.” She followed me into the kitchen and I handed her two wine glasses and a box of Quality Street that I found in the cupboard. Zane had an addiction to English chocolates and always ordered the boxes in bulk. I grabbed a wine bottle, opener, and some strawberries from the fridge.
“Okay, we’ll all set. Let’s go feast.” Robin followed me up the stairs and into my bedroom, and we placed all the goodies on the nightstand next to my bed. “Feel free to take your shoes off and relax.” I smiled at her as she just stood there. She smiled back at me and slipped her shoes off and pulled off her sweater. I stood there staring at her torso as she straightened her clothes, and I tried to avoid staring at her br**sts as they beckoned to me through her thin tank top.
“I guess we’ll be sitting on the bed?” She gave me a wry smile as she slid onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard.
“Yes, you look comfortable.” I opened the bottle of wine and stared at her as she lay back.
“It’s a comfortable bed.” She smiled at me. “I’ve missed being on a comfortable bed.”
“Feel free to sleep in mine anytime you like.” I groaned as soon as I realized what I had said. “And I mean sleep, not sex or anything.”
“You’re going to make me think I’ve grown warts or something.” She laughed self-consciously. “You keep telling me you’re not interested in sleeping with me.”
“Oh, don’t think that. I’d love to sleep with you.” I paused. “I mean, when you’re ready. When the time is ready. I don’t need to sleep with you anytime soon.”
“Okay.” She patted the spot next to her on the bed. “I appreciate it. Now where’s my wine and chocolate?”
“A little demanding, aren’t we?” I laughed and handed her a glass before sitting down next to her and opening the box of chocolates. “Here we go.”
“Oh, I’ve never had these before. Are they good?”
“Are they good? Is this a joke?” I looked at her with wide eyes. “Why, Quality Street are on the best chocolates in the world.”
“In the world, eh?” She leaned towards me and I could see her pupils dilate as our thighs touched.
“Yes, the best in the world.” I reached into the box and pulled out a pink wrapper. “Try this one first, it’s my favorite.”
“What is it?”
“Fudge covered with a light layer of milk chocolate.”
“Oh, my, that sounds divine.”
“It is.” I opened the wrapper and took a small bite. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” I grinned as I chewed on the sweet in my mouth. “Here you go.” I lifted my hand to her mouth and fed her the other half of the chocolate. She opened her mouth and ate the chocolate slowly, her eyes light as she enjoyed the sweet.
“You’re beautiful.” I stared at her and answered honestly.
“I don’t mean to be like this, you know.” Her eyes were open and held a touch of bleakness. “I’ve just been through so much in my life. Every day I’m just in survival mode. I’m just trying to get by. I just want to be free.” Tears slid from her eyes. “I just want to get out of here and be free.”
“I know you do.” I held her hand and squeezed it compassionately, and for one moment we were once again united in our grief.
“I hope that today hasn’t been filled with too many bombshells,” I grimaced as I got into the car with Robin. “I bet you’re wishing that you didn’t come over to the Johnsons’ today.”
“Not at all,” she laughed. “Though it has been one of those Days of Our Lives types of day.”
“That’s a lot of family information for you to get at one time.” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing as we pulled out of the Johnsons’ driveway. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you never wanted to see me again.”
“If that’s all you’ve got, then your life is nothing compared to mine.” She grinned at me, but I saw a tinge of truth and sadness in her eyes. “But, just to clear things up: no, I do not want to not see you again. I’m actually glad that Zane and Lucky intervened.”
“So am I,” I laughed again. “Though do not tell them that. I don’t want them thinking that they can try to dictate my life, but they definitely helped me here. Especially after the other night.”
“What happened there?” She looked over at me curiously.
“I’m not sure.” I looked at her. “I got the feeling that we both weren’t ready to be in a certain place.”
“Yeah, perhaps.” She sat back and looked out the window. “I guess we’re both treading water here.”
“Would you like to go to a movie with me?” I blurted out before I could think about it too much. “I can also just take you home if you prefer.”
“What about your brother? Don’t you want to be with him?”
“I think he’d rather be with Lucky right now.” I smiled at her, happy to see that she was the kind of woman who thought about others before herself. “I’m sure we’ll be doing more talking tomorrow. Once he has time to get over the initial shock, I’m pretty sure he will have a lot more questions.”
“That was brave of you to tell him at the Johnsons’.” Her voice was light and non-judgmental, which I appreciated. “Weren’t you worried he would just lose it and go off on you?”
“Yes,” I laughed, “but Sidney is like my family. He’s known pretty much everything. He was the one who helped me find the private detective. He’s the one who has been badgering me to tell Zane. I know this sounds crazy, but I always knew I wanted Sidney to be around when I told Zane. He’s like my support system. Do I sound like a total weirdo to you right now?”
“No, of course not.” She reached over and squeezed my arm. “He seems really nice and so does his wife. Before you and Lucky arrived, I was talking to them and they really showed a genuine interest in me. It was like they knew exactly what to say to make me feel better about myself.”
“It’s a gift that they have.” I smiled at her warmly, glad that she had taken to them both. “It’s like they can see into your soul and the worries that you have, and they soothe you with their words and care.”
“Yes,” she nodded. “When Sidney spoke to me, I felt like he knew where I was coming from and what my dreams and obstacles were. It was funny.” Her voice grew low. “It’s hard to meet people who genuinely care about you like that. Who want to know your story, rather than just talk about themselves.”
“Yes, yes, it is.”
“So, you were in witness protection?” She changed the subject. “How did I not know that? That’s crazy.”
“I wasn’t technically in witness protection.” I laughed. “But yes, I was helping the FBI and the DEA with a case and I had to disappear.”
“Okay, I take back my earlier statement. Your life isn’t like Days of our Lives, it’s more like Mission Impossible.”
“Not really. All I had to do was go hide out in a small town in Florida. It was Zane who was actually getting to the bottom of the case.”
“That must have been hard, though, leaving your family.”
“It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life.” I found myself driving back to Zane’s house instead of the movie. “The day I realized that I had to fake my own suicide and have my brother believe I was dead is still surreal to me.”
“What made you go along with it?”
“The agent who was in charge of the case told me that unless I complied, it was likely that they would come after me and my family, which, honestly, I doubted. But then he said, ‘Think of all the other innocent lives you could be saving. The lives that get caught in the crossfire. They were drug dealers, they didn’t care who they hurt.’ And that’s when I knew I had to do it. Special Agent Waldron had shown me photographs of many of the people that they believed were killed by the cartel and there were over twenty children. I didn’t want there to be any new faces added to that pile.”
“Wow.” Robin’s eyes widened. “You’re really selfless. Now you make me feel bad for going off on you two times.”
“I just did what anyone with a conscience would have done.” I shrugged. “And I’m pretty sure you will go off on me again, at some point. I can be infuriating, just ask Zane.” I laughed.
“Where are we going?” She looked out the window as she laughed.
“I figured we could watch a movie.” I paused. “But at home, if that’s not too presumptuous. You didn’t answer earlier and so I thought this may be nice. We can relax, have a few laughs and be comfortable.”
“Sounds good to me.” She gave me a wide smile. “Are you sure we won’t be bothering Zane and Lucky?”
“Well, here’s the other part.” I made a face at her. “I was hoping we could watch it in my room? I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not because I want to sleep with you. I have a king-sized bed so we won’t even have to touch. I just figured it will give us more privacy if they are already home, or if they come home while we are still watching it.”
“Don’t worry, Noah.” She giggled. “I understand.”
“Phew.” I pulled into the driveway. “I didn’t want you thinking this was another seduction move. And that all I wanted from you was a night of hot sex.”
“Don’t remind me of that last conversation.” She groaned. “I’m surprised you don’t think I’m bipolar.”
“You’re not?” I feigned surprise and she hit me in the shoulder before we both jumped out of the car.
“Funny.” She laughed. “Though I suppose I deserve that.”
“Let’s go inside.” I walked over to her side of the car and grabbed her hand. As we touched, I felt another spark jolt through me and I smiled to myself knowing that the connection I had witnessed previously was still there.
“So, are you going to tell me more about your time in Florida? Where did you go?” Robin looked up at me with a happy face, and I felt my heart start to pound. How could I tell her about everything that had happened in Palm Bonita? It was all so complicated and heartbreaking. I didn’t want to burden her with all that information. Not in the same day she had found out about all my family drama. It almost seemed too much. I didn’t want to lose her right when I was getting to know her because of an information overload. Not when I was finally getting a do-over with her. Plus, I didn’t know how to tell her about Skylar. I didn’t know if she would understand.
“There’s not really much to tell.” I said smoothly. “I stayed in a small town called Palm Bonita and basically just sat around and waited until I was able to come home.”
“Oh, that sucks.” She gave my upper arm a squeeze. “That must have been so boring. Did you make any friends?”
“Not really.” I shook my head. “I kept to myself most of the time.”
“Aww, that’s awful. What were the people like? Did they ask you where you came from?” Her eyes were excited. “I bet they were all curious as to who you were.”
“Not really.” Which was true. The people in Palm Bonita didn’t ask questions because they didn’t want anyone to ask them anything, either.
“So what did you do?” She looked confused. “Just sat and watched TV?”
“I did a lot of TV watching.” I nodded. “Not much else. I didn’t really have any friends, so I was by myself quite a bit.”
“So,” she paused. “No special lady friends?” Her eyes looked into mine questioningly, and my stomach churned.
“Not really.” I lied, feeling horrible as I did so. But I knew that Robin didn’t want to know about my relationship in Palm Bonita. She didn’t want to hear about all the places we had sex and how I lost myself in the relationship because I fell in love.
“Oh, wow.” She laughed. “Sorry for the twenty questions.”
“That’s okay. What about you? When did you last date?” I asked her, honestly wanting to know the answer but also wanting to take the focus of the conversation away from myself.
“Right before I moved to Los Angeles.” She gave me a weak smile. “What movie are we going to watch?” She walked away from me and looked at some of the pictures Zane had up on the wall. “These are cool.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “They were painted by kids with cancer.”
“Oh, that’s sad.”
“Cancer is a horrible disease.” I agreed. “Zane does everything he can to support cancer research. He gives a lot of money to a lot of different hospitals.” I paused. “But honestly, I think the best part is that he goes and he visits the kids and he talks to them and plays with them, and he supports their visions for the future.”
“Wow, that’s amazing.”
“Yeah. He’s pretty cool.” I nodded and I felt warm inside as I once again realized how blessed I was to have him as a brother.
“Want anything to eat or drink before we go upstairs?”
“Do you have any wine?” She laughed. “Or chocolate?”
“I think we have both. And strawberries, if you want some.”
“That sounds delicious.” She followed me into the kitchen and I handed her two wine glasses and a box of Quality Street that I found in the cupboard. Zane had an addiction to English chocolates and always ordered the boxes in bulk. I grabbed a wine bottle, opener, and some strawberries from the fridge.
“Okay, we’ll all set. Let’s go feast.” Robin followed me up the stairs and into my bedroom, and we placed all the goodies on the nightstand next to my bed. “Feel free to take your shoes off and relax.” I smiled at her as she just stood there. She smiled back at me and slipped her shoes off and pulled off her sweater. I stood there staring at her torso as she straightened her clothes, and I tried to avoid staring at her br**sts as they beckoned to me through her thin tank top.
“I guess we’ll be sitting on the bed?” She gave me a wry smile as she slid onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard.
“Yes, you look comfortable.” I opened the bottle of wine and stared at her as she lay back.
“It’s a comfortable bed.” She smiled at me. “I’ve missed being on a comfortable bed.”
“Feel free to sleep in mine anytime you like.” I groaned as soon as I realized what I had said. “And I mean sleep, not sex or anything.”
“You’re going to make me think I’ve grown warts or something.” She laughed self-consciously. “You keep telling me you’re not interested in sleeping with me.”
“Oh, don’t think that. I’d love to sleep with you.” I paused. “I mean, when you’re ready. When the time is ready. I don’t need to sleep with you anytime soon.”
“Okay.” She patted the spot next to her on the bed. “I appreciate it. Now where’s my wine and chocolate?”
“A little demanding, aren’t we?” I laughed and handed her a glass before sitting down next to her and opening the box of chocolates. “Here we go.”
“Oh, I’ve never had these before. Are they good?”
“Are they good? Is this a joke?” I looked at her with wide eyes. “Why, Quality Street are on the best chocolates in the world.”
“In the world, eh?” She leaned towards me and I could see her pupils dilate as our thighs touched.
“Yes, the best in the world.” I reached into the box and pulled out a pink wrapper. “Try this one first, it’s my favorite.”
“What is it?”
“Fudge covered with a light layer of milk chocolate.”
“Oh, my, that sounds divine.”
“It is.” I opened the wrapper and took a small bite. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” I grinned as I chewed on the sweet in my mouth. “Here you go.” I lifted my hand to her mouth and fed her the other half of the chocolate. She opened her mouth and ate the chocolate slowly, her eyes light as she enjoyed the sweet.
