The Other Side of Love
Page 3
“The sky looks beautiful today.” Lucky walked into the living room with some recently picked flowers and my face turned white. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I jumped up. “I thought you said something else. That’s all.” I gave her a weak smiled and I noticed Lucky and Zane exchanging a worried glance. “I’m okay, guys.”
“No one said you weren’t.” Zane grabbed Lucky’s hand, and pulled her towards him. “Noah and I are going to lunch, want to come?”
“If Noah doesn’t mind.” She looked at me eagerly, and I tried not to laugh. She was so different than the type of girl I had imagined seeing Zane with.
“I don’t mind. I’m pretty sure whatever I tell my brother, he shares with you anyway.”
“Zane can keep a secret.” Lucky blushed, while my brother glared at me.
“I’m just joking, guys. It’s fine. I don’t expect you to hide anything from each other. Secrets ruin relationships.”
“Yeah, they do.” Zane gave me a pointed look and I jumped up and turned towards the stairs. I had walked into that trap, and I didn’t want to stay around and feel guilted into revealing information I wasn’t ready to share.
“You guys choose a place for lunch, I’m just going to go upstairs and get my stuff ready.”
“What stuff?” Zane’s voice was curious, and I smiled at Lucky as she pulled him away from me, whispering something about wanting his help choosing out a crib for the babies.
***
“Hi, I’m Robin and I’m going to be your waitress today. Can I start you off with any drinks?” The girl in front of me was gorgeous and I couldn’t help but to admire her body. I gave her a once-over and I realized that she had caught me as I looked back up and she was glaring at me. As our eyes connected, I felt a spark of recognition light up my heart. I’d never seen this girl before, but something about her had ignited a feeling of warmth inside of me. “I’m not on the menu by the way.” The smile fell from her face as she spoke to me and I wondered what had gotten her so upset. She looked away and the buzz in my ears faded.
“I didn’t think that you were.” I frowned at her in confusion.
“Well, the way you were looking at me made me think that perhaps you thought something else was on the menu.”
“Um, okay?” I looked at Zane to see if I had missed something. Had I said something and not realized it, or was this chick just crazy?
“No, it’s not okay. How would you like it if I looked at you like you were a juicy steak and I was a dog ready to pounce?” Her frown lifted and her expression changed to one of excitement and anticipation, she looked me over slowly and licked her lips before locking eyes with mine. “Not a very nice feeling, is it? To be treated like a piece of meat.”
“Actually, I don’t mind.” I laughed and leaned towards her. “It makes me feel quite excited, actually.”
“Noah.” Lucky’s voice sounded shocked and she shook her head at me.
“I’m just being honest.” I shrugged.
“Typical male reaction.” Robin shook her head and turned towards Lucky. “Anything I can get you guys?”
“We’ll have three waters, please, Robin.” Lucky smiled at her widely and we were all silent as Robin walked away.
“Okay, is it me or is that chick crazy?” I exclaimed as soon as Robin was out of earshot.
“Noah.” Lucky laughed and made a small face. “I mean, she does seem like she is having a bad day.”
“She’s off.” Zane shook his head. “Like loony-bin off.”
“Right? What was up with that?” I rolled my eyes. “I thought she was going to grab a knife and stab me and for what?”
“Well, you did give her a once-over.” Lucky smiled at me. “Some girls don’t like that.”
“I looked at her and appreciated her beauty,” I coughed into my hand as Robin returned to the table with three waters. “I thought waitresses were meant to treat their customers like royalty, not like shit.”
“Are you talking about me?” Robin raised one eyebrow at me, and our eyes met again. She had the most unusual hazel eyes; they seemed to change from brown to green to match her temperament.
“Do you see another waitress in the vicinity?”
“I prefer to be called a server.”
“And?”
“Noah.” Lucky’s voice sounded shocked, and I saw her poke Zane in the stomach to get him to say something to me. I looked at Zane and his eyes were sparkling back at me. I could tell that he thought the whole situation was hilarious.
“It’s okay. I’m used to dealing with spoiled rich boys who don’t respect the help.”
“Whoa, what?” I frowned up at her and swallowed hard as I stared at her beautiful shimmering eyes. She was beautiful, and I had a hard time not feeling captivated by her. Her long black hair hung straight down her back, and her sun-kissed olive skin glowed in the bright light of the restaurant.
“Nothing.” She sighed and bit her lip. “I apologize for my words. It’s been a long day.” She looked away from me and back at Lucky. “Do you guys know what you want to order yet?”
“We’re going to share the bleu cheese burger with a large fries, please.” Zane spoke quickly, and Lucky gave him a look.
“Who said we were sharing anything?”
“I thought you wanted—”
“You didn’t even ask me if I wanted the bleu cheese burger.” Lucky made a face at Robin. “Sorry, but can you give us a few minutes?”
“Sure.” Robin smiled back at her briefly and gave me a look before walking away from the table.
“I think she likes you, bro.” Zane winked at me and I shook my head.
“Yeah, right.”
“I bet she wants to take you in the back and—”
“Zane!” Lucky’s voice was impatient. “Is that what you thought about me when you first starting coming to Lou’s?”
“Of course.” He grinned. “I knew you wanted to do me the first day you met me.”
“You’re gross.” Lucky punched him in the arm. “More like you wanted to do me.”
“Of course.” He laughed. “I saw you doing the cha cha cha, and I was hooked.”
“I was learning salsa steps.” Lucky smiled at him indulgently.
“Yeah, whatever.” Zane pulled her towards him and kissed her. “I don’t care what steps you were doing, all I knew was that I wanted to be the one you were doing them with.”
“So you wanted me to take you to the back and have my wicked way with you.”
“I would have been overjoyed.” He grinned.
“What about your date?”
“What about her?” He laughed again and kissed her on the nose. “Now, what’s this about you not wanting to share a bleu cheese burger? I thought you loved them.”
“I do love them and we can share, but you can’t just place an order and expect that I’m going to be okay with it without you asking me first.”
“Are you joking right now?” Zane’s eyes popped open and he spoke slowly. “You do want to share and you do want the bleu cheese burger, but you sent Robin away because you wanted to be difficult.”
“I wasn’t being difficult,” Lucky rolled her eyes at him. “I wanted you to ask …”
“Okay, okay.” Zane raised his hand and put on a puppy-dog face as he cut her off. “I get it.”
“You guys done?” I interrupted them both. “I’ve a feeling Robin is going to have a heart attack if we don’t order and get out of here soon.”
“She does seem a little bit intense.” Lucky giggled and made a face.
“Hey, guys, are you ready?” Robin walked back up to the table and dropped off a basket of bread. “I thought you guys could have some French rolls on the house.”
“I told you. She wants you.” Zane mouthed at me and I tried not to laugh. “You should ask her out.”
“Ask her out to do what? Kill me?”
“Ask her out on a d-a-t-e.”
“Yeah, right.” I grimaced. “That’s never going to happen.”
“I have a friend that you may …” Lucky started and Zane gave her a look. “Okay, okay. Leeza’s out.” She half sighed and gave me a smile. “So what kind of girls do you like, Noah?”
“Ones that don’t want to kill me.” I joked, but I couldn’t laugh. My mind drifted back to Palm Bonita and Skylar. I could still see the pain in her eyes at our last meeting. I’d never forget our last conversation.
“Do you love me?” Her words were soft but sharp, as her eyes had stared into mine with intensity.
“I love you.” I had said simply and honestly.
“Then take me with you.” She’d pleaded, and her eyes were moist.
“I can’t do that.” I shook my head and turned away from her.
“I hate you,” she’d whispered, and then she’d pushed past me and run away from me. I hadn’t tried to stop her, even though I had wanted to. I wanted to run after her and beg her to understand that my decision wasn’t one I wanted to make. It was one I had to make. But I knew that in her world, it didn’t make a difference. I’d broken her heart and betrayed her, like every other man. And I’d just walked away. That was the thing with love: sometimes, no matter how badly you wanted to be with someone and take care of them, there were obstacles that were beyond your control. Sometimes you had to know when to walk away.
“Noah, you okay?” Lucky reached across the table and squeezed my hand. I looked up at her and blinked a few times to remember my bearings. “You drifted away there for a moment.”
“Sorry.” I said weakly, all humor gone from my tone. “I was just remembering someone.”
“Someone special?” Lucky and Zane both looked at me with curious expressions, and I was about to answer when Robin came back to the table. I waited until she had taken our orders before I continued.
“A girl I met while I was away.” I nodded. “The day I arrived, actually.”
“Will you tell us about her and about Palm Bonita?” Lucky bit her lower lip and stared at me searchingly, hoping that I was willing to give some answers.
“Palm Bonita is one of those cities that you think of when you think of old Wild West movies.” I stared at her, as I started talking. “It’s this small town that seems to be stuck in the early 1940s. There’s this air of terror and anarchy in the city. Nobody cares about rules, yet nobody wants to be seen to not care about the rules. The people who move to Palm Bonita are the dregs of the country.”
“You moved there and you’re not the …” Lucky started and I smiled at her ruefully.
“I’m not a saint, but you’re right, I didn’t fit in with the other people who had made Palm Bonita their home. And they could tell.” I sighed as I thought back to my many acrimonious interactions with people from Palm Bonita. “But I met someone pretty early on, and she was a bright light in a very dark town. A town that was made darker because I was in a bad spot in my life.” I stared at Zane. “I’m still not sure if I made the right decision by doing what I did, but it’s all done now. I can’t change it.”
“If that’s an apology, it’s pretty weak, Noah.” Zane raised his eyebrows at me and I knew he still hadn’t forgiven me.
“It’s not an apology. I’m just saying I was in a bad place when I got to Palm Bonita. I wasn’t sure how long I would have to stay there, and it was a weird experience having to disappear.” My eyes glazed over as I spoke and thought about the loneliness and boredom that occupied my mind in the first few months. “Anyways, I met someone and she gave me some hope, and a life. We became friends and pretty quickly we became more than that. But she wasn’t who I thought she was.”
“A wolf in sheep’s clothing, huh?”
“No,” I shook my head. “She was a wolf in wolf’s clothing.” I laughed bitterly. “She didn’t try and hide who she was. I was the idiot for thinking she was someone different.”
“But you fell in love?” Lucky interrupted me with a curious tone. “You fell in love in Palm Bonita, right?”
“You could say that. I prefer to say that my heart was captured.” I cleared my throat and gave her a sorrowful smile. “Because what’s love, really? What does it mean? What does it matter if you can’t help the ones you love?”
“You can’t change anyone. Not if they don’t want to be changed.” Lucky reached out and grabbed ahold of my hand again and squeezed it. “You know that right, Noah?”
“I do.” I caressed her hand in mine and gave her a grateful smile. “You’re wonderful, you know that, right?”
“Hold on there, brother.” Zane gave me a look. “We may be family, but no flirting with my girl.”
“My name’s Lucky.” She rolled her eyes, but I saw her reach her other hand down and squeeze his thigh. “Not ‘my girl.’”
“Treat her right or you may have some competition.” I winked at Lucky as I spoke and her eyes sparkled back at me.
“You want to be a dad to my children?” Zane grinned at me. “I don’t mind if you want to take on diaper duty.”
“Yeah,” I jumped up. “I thought you said something else. That’s all.” I gave her a weak smiled and I noticed Lucky and Zane exchanging a worried glance. “I’m okay, guys.”
“No one said you weren’t.” Zane grabbed Lucky’s hand, and pulled her towards him. “Noah and I are going to lunch, want to come?”
“If Noah doesn’t mind.” She looked at me eagerly, and I tried not to laugh. She was so different than the type of girl I had imagined seeing Zane with.
“I don’t mind. I’m pretty sure whatever I tell my brother, he shares with you anyway.”
“Zane can keep a secret.” Lucky blushed, while my brother glared at me.
“I’m just joking, guys. It’s fine. I don’t expect you to hide anything from each other. Secrets ruin relationships.”
“Yeah, they do.” Zane gave me a pointed look and I jumped up and turned towards the stairs. I had walked into that trap, and I didn’t want to stay around and feel guilted into revealing information I wasn’t ready to share.
“You guys choose a place for lunch, I’m just going to go upstairs and get my stuff ready.”
“What stuff?” Zane’s voice was curious, and I smiled at Lucky as she pulled him away from me, whispering something about wanting his help choosing out a crib for the babies.
***
“Hi, I’m Robin and I’m going to be your waitress today. Can I start you off with any drinks?” The girl in front of me was gorgeous and I couldn’t help but to admire her body. I gave her a once-over and I realized that she had caught me as I looked back up and she was glaring at me. As our eyes connected, I felt a spark of recognition light up my heart. I’d never seen this girl before, but something about her had ignited a feeling of warmth inside of me. “I’m not on the menu by the way.” The smile fell from her face as she spoke to me and I wondered what had gotten her so upset. She looked away and the buzz in my ears faded.
“I didn’t think that you were.” I frowned at her in confusion.
“Well, the way you were looking at me made me think that perhaps you thought something else was on the menu.”
“Um, okay?” I looked at Zane to see if I had missed something. Had I said something and not realized it, or was this chick just crazy?
“No, it’s not okay. How would you like it if I looked at you like you were a juicy steak and I was a dog ready to pounce?” Her frown lifted and her expression changed to one of excitement and anticipation, she looked me over slowly and licked her lips before locking eyes with mine. “Not a very nice feeling, is it? To be treated like a piece of meat.”
“Actually, I don’t mind.” I laughed and leaned towards her. “It makes me feel quite excited, actually.”
“Noah.” Lucky’s voice sounded shocked and she shook her head at me.
“I’m just being honest.” I shrugged.
“Typical male reaction.” Robin shook her head and turned towards Lucky. “Anything I can get you guys?”
“We’ll have three waters, please, Robin.” Lucky smiled at her widely and we were all silent as Robin walked away.
“Okay, is it me or is that chick crazy?” I exclaimed as soon as Robin was out of earshot.
“Noah.” Lucky laughed and made a small face. “I mean, she does seem like she is having a bad day.”
“She’s off.” Zane shook his head. “Like loony-bin off.”
“Right? What was up with that?” I rolled my eyes. “I thought she was going to grab a knife and stab me and for what?”
“Well, you did give her a once-over.” Lucky smiled at me. “Some girls don’t like that.”
“I looked at her and appreciated her beauty,” I coughed into my hand as Robin returned to the table with three waters. “I thought waitresses were meant to treat their customers like royalty, not like shit.”
“Are you talking about me?” Robin raised one eyebrow at me, and our eyes met again. She had the most unusual hazel eyes; they seemed to change from brown to green to match her temperament.
“Do you see another waitress in the vicinity?”
“I prefer to be called a server.”
“And?”
“Noah.” Lucky’s voice sounded shocked, and I saw her poke Zane in the stomach to get him to say something to me. I looked at Zane and his eyes were sparkling back at me. I could tell that he thought the whole situation was hilarious.
“It’s okay. I’m used to dealing with spoiled rich boys who don’t respect the help.”
“Whoa, what?” I frowned up at her and swallowed hard as I stared at her beautiful shimmering eyes. She was beautiful, and I had a hard time not feeling captivated by her. Her long black hair hung straight down her back, and her sun-kissed olive skin glowed in the bright light of the restaurant.
“Nothing.” She sighed and bit her lip. “I apologize for my words. It’s been a long day.” She looked away from me and back at Lucky. “Do you guys know what you want to order yet?”
“We’re going to share the bleu cheese burger with a large fries, please.” Zane spoke quickly, and Lucky gave him a look.
“Who said we were sharing anything?”
“I thought you wanted—”
“You didn’t even ask me if I wanted the bleu cheese burger.” Lucky made a face at Robin. “Sorry, but can you give us a few minutes?”
“Sure.” Robin smiled back at her briefly and gave me a look before walking away from the table.
“I think she likes you, bro.” Zane winked at me and I shook my head.
“Yeah, right.”
“I bet she wants to take you in the back and—”
“Zane!” Lucky’s voice was impatient. “Is that what you thought about me when you first starting coming to Lou’s?”
“Of course.” He grinned. “I knew you wanted to do me the first day you met me.”
“You’re gross.” Lucky punched him in the arm. “More like you wanted to do me.”
“Of course.” He laughed. “I saw you doing the cha cha cha, and I was hooked.”
“I was learning salsa steps.” Lucky smiled at him indulgently.
“Yeah, whatever.” Zane pulled her towards him and kissed her. “I don’t care what steps you were doing, all I knew was that I wanted to be the one you were doing them with.”
“So you wanted me to take you to the back and have my wicked way with you.”
“I would have been overjoyed.” He grinned.
“What about your date?”
“What about her?” He laughed again and kissed her on the nose. “Now, what’s this about you not wanting to share a bleu cheese burger? I thought you loved them.”
“I do love them and we can share, but you can’t just place an order and expect that I’m going to be okay with it without you asking me first.”
“Are you joking right now?” Zane’s eyes popped open and he spoke slowly. “You do want to share and you do want the bleu cheese burger, but you sent Robin away because you wanted to be difficult.”
“I wasn’t being difficult,” Lucky rolled her eyes at him. “I wanted you to ask …”
“Okay, okay.” Zane raised his hand and put on a puppy-dog face as he cut her off. “I get it.”
“You guys done?” I interrupted them both. “I’ve a feeling Robin is going to have a heart attack if we don’t order and get out of here soon.”
“She does seem a little bit intense.” Lucky giggled and made a face.
“Hey, guys, are you ready?” Robin walked back up to the table and dropped off a basket of bread. “I thought you guys could have some French rolls on the house.”
“I told you. She wants you.” Zane mouthed at me and I tried not to laugh. “You should ask her out.”
“Ask her out to do what? Kill me?”
“Ask her out on a d-a-t-e.”
“Yeah, right.” I grimaced. “That’s never going to happen.”
“I have a friend that you may …” Lucky started and Zane gave her a look. “Okay, okay. Leeza’s out.” She half sighed and gave me a smile. “So what kind of girls do you like, Noah?”
“Ones that don’t want to kill me.” I joked, but I couldn’t laugh. My mind drifted back to Palm Bonita and Skylar. I could still see the pain in her eyes at our last meeting. I’d never forget our last conversation.
“Do you love me?” Her words were soft but sharp, as her eyes had stared into mine with intensity.
“I love you.” I had said simply and honestly.
“Then take me with you.” She’d pleaded, and her eyes were moist.
“I can’t do that.” I shook my head and turned away from her.
“I hate you,” she’d whispered, and then she’d pushed past me and run away from me. I hadn’t tried to stop her, even though I had wanted to. I wanted to run after her and beg her to understand that my decision wasn’t one I wanted to make. It was one I had to make. But I knew that in her world, it didn’t make a difference. I’d broken her heart and betrayed her, like every other man. And I’d just walked away. That was the thing with love: sometimes, no matter how badly you wanted to be with someone and take care of them, there were obstacles that were beyond your control. Sometimes you had to know when to walk away.
“Noah, you okay?” Lucky reached across the table and squeezed my hand. I looked up at her and blinked a few times to remember my bearings. “You drifted away there for a moment.”
“Sorry.” I said weakly, all humor gone from my tone. “I was just remembering someone.”
“Someone special?” Lucky and Zane both looked at me with curious expressions, and I was about to answer when Robin came back to the table. I waited until she had taken our orders before I continued.
“A girl I met while I was away.” I nodded. “The day I arrived, actually.”
“Will you tell us about her and about Palm Bonita?” Lucky bit her lower lip and stared at me searchingly, hoping that I was willing to give some answers.
“Palm Bonita is one of those cities that you think of when you think of old Wild West movies.” I stared at her, as I started talking. “It’s this small town that seems to be stuck in the early 1940s. There’s this air of terror and anarchy in the city. Nobody cares about rules, yet nobody wants to be seen to not care about the rules. The people who move to Palm Bonita are the dregs of the country.”
“You moved there and you’re not the …” Lucky started and I smiled at her ruefully.
“I’m not a saint, but you’re right, I didn’t fit in with the other people who had made Palm Bonita their home. And they could tell.” I sighed as I thought back to my many acrimonious interactions with people from Palm Bonita. “But I met someone pretty early on, and she was a bright light in a very dark town. A town that was made darker because I was in a bad spot in my life.” I stared at Zane. “I’m still not sure if I made the right decision by doing what I did, but it’s all done now. I can’t change it.”
“If that’s an apology, it’s pretty weak, Noah.” Zane raised his eyebrows at me and I knew he still hadn’t forgiven me.
“It’s not an apology. I’m just saying I was in a bad place when I got to Palm Bonita. I wasn’t sure how long I would have to stay there, and it was a weird experience having to disappear.” My eyes glazed over as I spoke and thought about the loneliness and boredom that occupied my mind in the first few months. “Anyways, I met someone and she gave me some hope, and a life. We became friends and pretty quickly we became more than that. But she wasn’t who I thought she was.”
“A wolf in sheep’s clothing, huh?”
“No,” I shook my head. “She was a wolf in wolf’s clothing.” I laughed bitterly. “She didn’t try and hide who she was. I was the idiot for thinking she was someone different.”
“But you fell in love?” Lucky interrupted me with a curious tone. “You fell in love in Palm Bonita, right?”
“You could say that. I prefer to say that my heart was captured.” I cleared my throat and gave her a sorrowful smile. “Because what’s love, really? What does it mean? What does it matter if you can’t help the ones you love?”
“You can’t change anyone. Not if they don’t want to be changed.” Lucky reached out and grabbed ahold of my hand again and squeezed it. “You know that right, Noah?”
“I do.” I caressed her hand in mine and gave her a grateful smile. “You’re wonderful, you know that, right?”
“Hold on there, brother.” Zane gave me a look. “We may be family, but no flirting with my girl.”
“My name’s Lucky.” She rolled her eyes, but I saw her reach her other hand down and squeeze his thigh. “Not ‘my girl.’”
“Treat her right or you may have some competition.” I winked at Lucky as I spoke and her eyes sparkled back at me.
“You want to be a dad to my children?” Zane grinned at me. “I don’t mind if you want to take on diaper duty.”