The Outliers
Page 8
Nothing.
I ignored the growing pit in my stomach and ache in my heart.
"I'm...Sawyer."
She set her knitting down on her lap. "You must be the neighbor Critter was talking about. The new one with the little boy who keeps stealing all of the sunflowers. It's nice to finally meet you."
"Nice to meet you too," I said, sitting down on the edge of the bed where the nurse had been. "And I'm sorry about him stealing your flowers."
"Oh, that's alright. We will find out how mischievous children can be soon enough. Sorry I can't fetch you something to drink. Critter has been real insistent that I stay put since the morning sickness has really been getting to me."
"Morning sickness?" I asked. "You're pregnant?"
My mother removed the knitting and smoothed her hand over her flat stomach like it was rounded instead of indented. "Yes, six months along now and the sick feeling still hasn't subsided. Sometimes I think my daughter will be out into the world and full grown by the time it goes away."
"I'm sorry you aren't feeling well," I said, "But I'm sure Critter is taking good care of you."
"That man would lasso the moon if I asked him to. That's why I married him."
"Married?" I asked.
"Yep, right before we found out we were having a baby. It was low-key, just us in the sunflower field with a justice of the peace from the county office. I don't have a lot of family and neither does Critter. It was more special that way. Although, it won't be that way for long." My mother was beaming as she rocked and continued to knit.
"So, tell me, how did you two meet?" I asked casually, trying to seem like a curious neighbor.
"Well, it was love at first sight. I was..." she scrunched her face and shook her head like she was shaking off a bad memory. "You don't want to hear all this from me, do you? It's kind of a long story."
"I do. I really do." I urged her on, trying not to show the nervousness wreaking havoc on my heart.
I was finally going to hear the story I’d waited so long for. Part of me wanted to turn and run. Another part of me wouldn’t move if a bulldozer came through the wall.
"From the beginning if you'd like,” I offered. “The very beginning. Your beginning. I've got plenty of time.” I looked at my naked wrist like I was checking the time on a watch when I’d never even owned one. I slid to the floor and brought my knees to my chest with my back against the bed and tried not to tap my toe on the carpet although it was practically tingling to do just that.
My mother looked out the window as she recalled her story. "Well, I was born a rebel, refusing to come out into the world for a full three days." She shook her head. "My poor mother. I grew up in a religious household and when my parents both died I was passed on to the church elders to raise since I was only fifteen when they passed."
"I'm sorry," I offered, my gut twisting at the news of my grandparents that she'd never spoken about.
"No worries. It was a long time ago. But it was only then I realized that my parents were unique members of the church. In our house, we didn't have to lower our eyes and we could speak whenever we felt like we had something to say, but that wasn't the standard. Far from it. It was a severe way to grow up and I never embraced it."
Neither did I.
"Every day when I woke up I saw the light fading from my eyes as more and more rules were pushed down my throat. By the time they informed me that I was to be married to this man of the church. Richard was his name. She cringed. "I'd all but given up. I didn't know life outside the church and didn't think I could make it on my own. I had hoped that maybe Richard would be more like my parents. It only took meeting him a few times for to realize he was perhaps the worst of them all. He treated me like a dog on the leash and always made sure the collar allowed me to breath but always reminded me that just one pull in the wrong direction and I'd be choking."
I was crying inside for my mother but tried to remain impassive on the outside.
It wasn’t easy.
"One weekend, my guardians brought me along to a tent revival service to help. We stayed in a little motel and I'd go for walks around the town whenever I could sneak away for an hour or so. One day I saw a truck and camper for sale in a junkyard and something came over me. An idea I couldn't shake.” My mother took up her knitting and placed it back down again.
She continued. “On the day I married Richard, I stole a gold crucifix that belonged to Richard and I brought it to the junkyard. I traded it and my wedding ring for the camper and the truck. I didn't make it far before the truck broke down on the side of the road. I got out and walked to find help and made sure to walk in the opposite direction of the fairgrounds because although the freedom I'd tasted was only a few miles from the fairgrounds I knew I'd never be going back. And that walk in the middle of the night all by myself? It was glorious. My first taste of actual freedom. The sounds of the swamp at night." She closed her eyes like she could still hear it. Then she inhaled deeply through her nose. "The smell of salty water and the Sulphur." She opened her eyes again. "By the time I realized I was lost I didn't care if anyone ever found me ever again. I fell down an embankment and got stuck on this tiny strip of muddy land but it was too steep to climb my way back up to the top. As the water rose I thought for sure that I was going to die there."
"What did you do?" I asked, leaning forward.
She shrugged and took up her knitting again. "There was nothing I could do. And there was something so...freeing about the experience that I sat down in the mud and I...I just started to laugh. And that's when Critter found me. Sitting in the mud, the water rising all around me, when he zipped by on his little boat and did a double take. He stopped and pulled me out. I was covered in mosquito bites, mud from head to toe, and soaking wet and do you know what that man did?" she asked with a loving smile.
"No. What did he do?" I asked, leaning forward.
She smiled in a way that told me she couldn’t believe it herself. "He started to laugh right along with me. The man had no idea why I was laughing, but joined right on in. He took me back to his bar and while I cleaned me up and changed my clothes he went and towed the truck and camper back to the bar. When I walked out all cleaned and mud free he looked up at me and I'll never forget what he said.”
I ignored the growing pit in my stomach and ache in my heart.
"I'm...Sawyer."
She set her knitting down on her lap. "You must be the neighbor Critter was talking about. The new one with the little boy who keeps stealing all of the sunflowers. It's nice to finally meet you."
"Nice to meet you too," I said, sitting down on the edge of the bed where the nurse had been. "And I'm sorry about him stealing your flowers."
"Oh, that's alright. We will find out how mischievous children can be soon enough. Sorry I can't fetch you something to drink. Critter has been real insistent that I stay put since the morning sickness has really been getting to me."
"Morning sickness?" I asked. "You're pregnant?"
My mother removed the knitting and smoothed her hand over her flat stomach like it was rounded instead of indented. "Yes, six months along now and the sick feeling still hasn't subsided. Sometimes I think my daughter will be out into the world and full grown by the time it goes away."
"I'm sorry you aren't feeling well," I said, "But I'm sure Critter is taking good care of you."
"That man would lasso the moon if I asked him to. That's why I married him."
"Married?" I asked.
"Yep, right before we found out we were having a baby. It was low-key, just us in the sunflower field with a justice of the peace from the county office. I don't have a lot of family and neither does Critter. It was more special that way. Although, it won't be that way for long." My mother was beaming as she rocked and continued to knit.
"So, tell me, how did you two meet?" I asked casually, trying to seem like a curious neighbor.
"Well, it was love at first sight. I was..." she scrunched her face and shook her head like she was shaking off a bad memory. "You don't want to hear all this from me, do you? It's kind of a long story."
"I do. I really do." I urged her on, trying not to show the nervousness wreaking havoc on my heart.
I was finally going to hear the story I’d waited so long for. Part of me wanted to turn and run. Another part of me wouldn’t move if a bulldozer came through the wall.
"From the beginning if you'd like,” I offered. “The very beginning. Your beginning. I've got plenty of time.” I looked at my naked wrist like I was checking the time on a watch when I’d never even owned one. I slid to the floor and brought my knees to my chest with my back against the bed and tried not to tap my toe on the carpet although it was practically tingling to do just that.
My mother looked out the window as she recalled her story. "Well, I was born a rebel, refusing to come out into the world for a full three days." She shook her head. "My poor mother. I grew up in a religious household and when my parents both died I was passed on to the church elders to raise since I was only fifteen when they passed."
"I'm sorry," I offered, my gut twisting at the news of my grandparents that she'd never spoken about.
"No worries. It was a long time ago. But it was only then I realized that my parents were unique members of the church. In our house, we didn't have to lower our eyes and we could speak whenever we felt like we had something to say, but that wasn't the standard. Far from it. It was a severe way to grow up and I never embraced it."
Neither did I.
"Every day when I woke up I saw the light fading from my eyes as more and more rules were pushed down my throat. By the time they informed me that I was to be married to this man of the church. Richard was his name. She cringed. "I'd all but given up. I didn't know life outside the church and didn't think I could make it on my own. I had hoped that maybe Richard would be more like my parents. It only took meeting him a few times for to realize he was perhaps the worst of them all. He treated me like a dog on the leash and always made sure the collar allowed me to breath but always reminded me that just one pull in the wrong direction and I'd be choking."
I was crying inside for my mother but tried to remain impassive on the outside.
It wasn’t easy.
"One weekend, my guardians brought me along to a tent revival service to help. We stayed in a little motel and I'd go for walks around the town whenever I could sneak away for an hour or so. One day I saw a truck and camper for sale in a junkyard and something came over me. An idea I couldn't shake.” My mother took up her knitting and placed it back down again.
She continued. “On the day I married Richard, I stole a gold crucifix that belonged to Richard and I brought it to the junkyard. I traded it and my wedding ring for the camper and the truck. I didn't make it far before the truck broke down on the side of the road. I got out and walked to find help and made sure to walk in the opposite direction of the fairgrounds because although the freedom I'd tasted was only a few miles from the fairgrounds I knew I'd never be going back. And that walk in the middle of the night all by myself? It was glorious. My first taste of actual freedom. The sounds of the swamp at night." She closed her eyes like she could still hear it. Then she inhaled deeply through her nose. "The smell of salty water and the Sulphur." She opened her eyes again. "By the time I realized I was lost I didn't care if anyone ever found me ever again. I fell down an embankment and got stuck on this tiny strip of muddy land but it was too steep to climb my way back up to the top. As the water rose I thought for sure that I was going to die there."
"What did you do?" I asked, leaning forward.
She shrugged and took up her knitting again. "There was nothing I could do. And there was something so...freeing about the experience that I sat down in the mud and I...I just started to laugh. And that's when Critter found me. Sitting in the mud, the water rising all around me, when he zipped by on his little boat and did a double take. He stopped and pulled me out. I was covered in mosquito bites, mud from head to toe, and soaking wet and do you know what that man did?" she asked with a loving smile.
"No. What did he do?" I asked, leaning forward.
She smiled in a way that told me she couldn’t believe it herself. "He started to laugh right along with me. The man had no idea why I was laughing, but joined right on in. He took me back to his bar and while I cleaned me up and changed my clothes he went and towed the truck and camper back to the bar. When I walked out all cleaned and mud free he looked up at me and I'll never forget what he said.”
