The Power
Page 27
“And you’re not just talking about training, are you?” I heard myself ask in a voice that was small and pitiful.
Seth said nothing, but thunder crackled in the distance.
“That’s wrong,” I whispered as I jabbed my finger at him. “You can’t even say it.”
“We’re not just talking about training. I’m talking about everything,” he said, and I flinched as that one word echoed throughout me. He looked away again, shaking his head. “Is that what you want me to say, Josie? Did that make you feel better hearing that?”
“No,” I admitted, drawing in a shaky breath. “Why? Why—”
“I don’t want to do this with you,” he interrupted, his voice cool but his words slicing right into me. “I don’t want to do any of this with you. Dammit, Josie, don’t make this hard. That’s enough of a reason.”
The burning sensation spread to my throat and chest, and I took another step back. I didn’t know what to say as I stared at him and only two words came out.
Hot tears welled up in my eyes. “Fuck you.”
I didn’t wait for his response, and this time, when I turned around, Seth didn’t stop me. I made it to my dorm and inside my room before my tenuous hold stretched too thin and then broke. The burn intensified, climbing back up my throat as I closed the door behind me and slid down, plopping onto the floor right in front of it. I smacked my hands over my face, pressing my palms into my eyes, but that did nothing to stop the tears.
There was so much to be worried about—training, finding demigods and the librarian, my mom and Erin, the Titans, and so much more, but right then, I didn’t care about any of that. My chest was split right open and my heart was torn out, left on a marble walkway by a group of olive trees. The pain was intense and consuming.
“Oh God,” I whispered into the silent room.
My shoulders shook as my fingers curled against my forehead. I clamped my mouth shut, stifling the sobs that were trying to break free, but the tears came. There was no stopping them. Hot wetness slipped down my cheeks. I thought I felt the floor move under me, a tremor that rattled the furniture, but I didn’t care about that either.
I didn’t understand. I had no idea what had happened, but the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, that wasn’t even the Seth I knew in the beginning. This was a whole different Seth I’d never seen before.
Like the day he’d punched that pure and looked at me afterward, this Seth was a stranger to me.
The worst part—oh, God—the worst part was I knew what I was feeling. The very real pain, the bitter swelling of emotions, and the deepness of hurt were signals of something powerful and pure. Something that no longer mattered.
I was in love with Seth.
And he’d just broken my heart.
CHAPTER 11
Seth
I was an asshole.
A huge asshole.
Nothing exactly new there, but any of the other times that I was a raging asshole, I didn’t feel like total shit. And I felt like total shit right now.
Hours later, as I stood on the outer wall surrounding the campus, I could still hear the brittle emotion in her words. They whipped at me like the wind did right now, chilling my skin. I didn’t have to close my eyes to clearly see the tears building in hers or to see the way she’d flinched.
Damn.
I’d hurt her. There was no denying that, but as I stared out over the dark grounds and tall pines, I knew I’d done the right thing. Lifting my right hand, I rubbed the spot above my heart. The right thing wasn’t easy. Fucking sucked, but I had to do it.
There was no way I could be trusted when it came to training her. I’d proven that to myself, and if I couldn’t be trusted training her, then I sure as hell couldn’t be trusted being with her. Not when I now knew how easy it was to mix need and . . . well, need.
“What are you doing up here?”
I turned at the sound of Solos’s voice. His dark hair appeared at the top of the wall as he climbed up the steep ladder. “Patrolling.”
Solos stood, brows arched. “Didn’t realize that was part of your duties here.”
“Didn’t realize that was any of your business.”
His lip curled up at the corners, stretching the jagged scar that ran from the corner of his eye to his jaw. “Look, all I’m saying is that if I didn’t have to be up here, I wouldn’t be.”
I folded my arms, turning my attention to the pines that were already starting to smell sweet.
“Especially when it’s as cold as Medusa’s tits up here.”
Nice imagery there. “I didn’t think this was your duty either since you were given a Council seat.”
“Not much to do on the Council other than sit around and listen to a bunch of people argue.” Solos moved to stand beside me, and I didn’t even bother to hide my sigh. “You know, if I had a girl like Josie within arm’s reach, I would—”
“If you don’t want to be knocked off this wall, I suggest you don’t finish that sentence,” I stated calmly.
Solos let out a low whistle. “Well then . . .”
I spared him a cursory glance. “Any interesting updates from the world beyond these walls?”
“No shade reports or Titan sightings, but we know that isn’t going to last. There have been some daimon attacks near L.A. and just outside of Vegas. I also heard that there was a surprising number near Miami. Word is it’s a bunch of recently turned pures, so they’re going batshit.”
Seth said nothing, but thunder crackled in the distance.
“That’s wrong,” I whispered as I jabbed my finger at him. “You can’t even say it.”
“We’re not just talking about training. I’m talking about everything,” he said, and I flinched as that one word echoed throughout me. He looked away again, shaking his head. “Is that what you want me to say, Josie? Did that make you feel better hearing that?”
“No,” I admitted, drawing in a shaky breath. “Why? Why—”
“I don’t want to do this with you,” he interrupted, his voice cool but his words slicing right into me. “I don’t want to do any of this with you. Dammit, Josie, don’t make this hard. That’s enough of a reason.”
The burning sensation spread to my throat and chest, and I took another step back. I didn’t know what to say as I stared at him and only two words came out.
Hot tears welled up in my eyes. “Fuck you.”
I didn’t wait for his response, and this time, when I turned around, Seth didn’t stop me. I made it to my dorm and inside my room before my tenuous hold stretched too thin and then broke. The burn intensified, climbing back up my throat as I closed the door behind me and slid down, plopping onto the floor right in front of it. I smacked my hands over my face, pressing my palms into my eyes, but that did nothing to stop the tears.
There was so much to be worried about—training, finding demigods and the librarian, my mom and Erin, the Titans, and so much more, but right then, I didn’t care about any of that. My chest was split right open and my heart was torn out, left on a marble walkway by a group of olive trees. The pain was intense and consuming.
“Oh God,” I whispered into the silent room.
My shoulders shook as my fingers curled against my forehead. I clamped my mouth shut, stifling the sobs that were trying to break free, but the tears came. There was no stopping them. Hot wetness slipped down my cheeks. I thought I felt the floor move under me, a tremor that rattled the furniture, but I didn’t care about that either.
I didn’t understand. I had no idea what had happened, but the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, that wasn’t even the Seth I knew in the beginning. This was a whole different Seth I’d never seen before.
Like the day he’d punched that pure and looked at me afterward, this Seth was a stranger to me.
The worst part—oh, God—the worst part was I knew what I was feeling. The very real pain, the bitter swelling of emotions, and the deepness of hurt were signals of something powerful and pure. Something that no longer mattered.
I was in love with Seth.
And he’d just broken my heart.
CHAPTER 11
Seth
I was an asshole.
A huge asshole.
Nothing exactly new there, but any of the other times that I was a raging asshole, I didn’t feel like total shit. And I felt like total shit right now.
Hours later, as I stood on the outer wall surrounding the campus, I could still hear the brittle emotion in her words. They whipped at me like the wind did right now, chilling my skin. I didn’t have to close my eyes to clearly see the tears building in hers or to see the way she’d flinched.
Damn.
I’d hurt her. There was no denying that, but as I stared out over the dark grounds and tall pines, I knew I’d done the right thing. Lifting my right hand, I rubbed the spot above my heart. The right thing wasn’t easy. Fucking sucked, but I had to do it.
There was no way I could be trusted when it came to training her. I’d proven that to myself, and if I couldn’t be trusted training her, then I sure as hell couldn’t be trusted being with her. Not when I now knew how easy it was to mix need and . . . well, need.
“What are you doing up here?”
I turned at the sound of Solos’s voice. His dark hair appeared at the top of the wall as he climbed up the steep ladder. “Patrolling.”
Solos stood, brows arched. “Didn’t realize that was part of your duties here.”
“Didn’t realize that was any of your business.”
His lip curled up at the corners, stretching the jagged scar that ran from the corner of his eye to his jaw. “Look, all I’m saying is that if I didn’t have to be up here, I wouldn’t be.”
I folded my arms, turning my attention to the pines that were already starting to smell sweet.
“Especially when it’s as cold as Medusa’s tits up here.”
Nice imagery there. “I didn’t think this was your duty either since you were given a Council seat.”
“Not much to do on the Council other than sit around and listen to a bunch of people argue.” Solos moved to stand beside me, and I didn’t even bother to hide my sigh. “You know, if I had a girl like Josie within arm’s reach, I would—”
“If you don’t want to be knocked off this wall, I suggest you don’t finish that sentence,” I stated calmly.
Solos let out a low whistle. “Well then . . .”
I spared him a cursory glance. “Any interesting updates from the world beyond these walls?”
“No shade reports or Titan sightings, but we know that isn’t going to last. There have been some daimon attacks near L.A. and just outside of Vegas. I also heard that there was a surprising number near Miami. Word is it’s a bunch of recently turned pures, so they’re going batshit.”
