The Power
Page 46
I stopped at my door and turned to Seth’s. Chewing on my lower lip, I willed the door to open and for Seth to step out. I don’t even know why I wanted that. He’d made things pretty clear yesterday. He’d made it clear weeks ago.
Turning around, I walked into my room, went to the bedroom, and picked up the old picture of me with my grandparents and mom. I wished I could crawl back in time and commit the moment to memory, because I didn’t remember the hours leading up to it or after it.
None of us had second chances.
Well, except Alex and Aiden. And Seth. And me, in a way. A lot of us had second chances, but we didn’t get to pick what they would be.
Based on my appearance, it was around the time of middle school. I was so freaking chubby, a total butterball, and the pattern on the paisley shirt didn’t help. But I was smiling. So was Granny. And Papa. And Mom. It had been a good day.
Placing the picture on my nightstand, I wiped the back of my hand under my eyes. My cheeks were damp, and I wasn’t sure what or who I was crying for. All I knew was that I’d been crying a lot lately, and I hated that crying made me feel weak.
What in the hell was so weak about it? Like that was the worst thing I could be doing right now. I mean, I could be engaging in self-harm or risky behaviors. I could be shit-faced or high as a kite. Nope. I was weepy, and I had a feeling there were people out there who probably thought going out and picking fights or drinking until they vomited was better than having a good cry.
On second thought, drinking until I didn’t know who I was sounded good right about then. I just . . . I really didn’t want to . . . feel anything. I missed my family. I missed Erin, and as much as I wanted to turn Seth’s nuts into a punching bag, I missed him—the him from before.
God, his words still stung, but I saw the truth behind what was driving them. I’d probably seen it before, but hadn’t wanted to truly acknowledge it.
Plopping onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling. Seth’s sudden change of heart sort of made sense now. He had to have known it was getting close to when Alex would return. There was no way he hadn’t. Not with the kind of bond they had. He had to have known she was coming.
I’d seen the way he’d stared at her yesterday.
And when I left the quad, Seth hadn’t followed. He stayed there with them, with her. That wasn’t jealousy talking. That was just reality.
Even though Alex and Aiden had the kind of love poets rambled on about, there had been something powerful between Seth and Alex. Deacon had said so himself, something practically unbreakable.
I always thought his reluctance to talk about Alex had to do with his guilt, but now, I knew there was more to it. Seth wasn’t over Alex and whatever they shared.
And that sucked.
Because I couldn’t compete with someone who was a legend. Someone Seth had given up eternity for.
I was in love with someone who was still wrapped up in someone else—someone who was a freaking legend among their kind.
A knock on the door drew me out of my thoughts. Sitting up, I swung my legs off the bed and stood. I hoped it was Deacon or Luke or both of them. Deacon would watch Supernatural with me and everything would be right in the world, at least for a few hours, and I wouldn’t feel like I . . . like I was forgotten.
Opening the door, I came face to face with Alex.
Holy crap.
Startled, I took a step back as I felt my mouth drop open. What was she doing here? Was she at the wrong door? Oh my God, what if she was at the wrong door and had meant to knock on Seth’s?
I was going to punch her.
Okay. She could probably kick my ass, so I would punch her and run.
She clasped her hands together as she looked up at me. “Hi,” she said. “I know we don’t know each other, but I was wondering if you had a couple of minutes to chat?”
Struck dumb, I stepped aside. Would I seriously refuse her? Uh. No. Alex walked in and closed the door behind her. I faced her, having no idea what in the hell was going on.
Standing in front of her, as close as we were, I felt like—like Bigfoot looming over her. A blonde Bigfoot. I could legit pick her up and put her in my pocket.
“I’m Alex An—”
“I know who you are.” The moment those words left my mouth, I cringed. Icicles could’ve formed in the room. “I mean, I know who you are. Everyone knows who you are.”
Her brows lifted. “That’s kind of creepy.”
I snapped my mouth shut.
“Not that you’re creepy for saying that. It’s just that I’m not used to everyone knowing who I am.” She paused, wrinkling her nose—and oh my God, my eyes widened. I did that. All. The. Time. “Well, people kind of knew who I was before the whole ‘rise from the dead’ demigod thing, but it usually wasn’t anything good.”
“Oh,” I murmured, still staring at her.
A half-smile formed on her lips. “Anyway, you’re Josie.”
I nodded slowly.
Alex laughed, the sound husky and warm. “Well, duh. You know who you are.”
I nodded again.
“This isn’t coming out right,” she said with another laugh. “I wanted to meet you. I hear there’s something we have in common.”
“We’ve both been with Seth?” I blurted out, and holy shitballs, I did not just say that.
Her brown eyes widened slightly as her mouth formed an O.
I totally just said that.
“Oh my gosh, I mean, not that you’ve been with Seth, like with him. I haven’t even actually been with him in that kind of way.” Heat scalded my cheeks. I wasn’t even sure if Seth and Alex had gone there, but I was seriously hoping that they hadn’t because that would be yet one more thing she had going for her that I didn’t.
Turning around, I walked into my room, went to the bedroom, and picked up the old picture of me with my grandparents and mom. I wished I could crawl back in time and commit the moment to memory, because I didn’t remember the hours leading up to it or after it.
None of us had second chances.
Well, except Alex and Aiden. And Seth. And me, in a way. A lot of us had second chances, but we didn’t get to pick what they would be.
Based on my appearance, it was around the time of middle school. I was so freaking chubby, a total butterball, and the pattern on the paisley shirt didn’t help. But I was smiling. So was Granny. And Papa. And Mom. It had been a good day.
Placing the picture on my nightstand, I wiped the back of my hand under my eyes. My cheeks were damp, and I wasn’t sure what or who I was crying for. All I knew was that I’d been crying a lot lately, and I hated that crying made me feel weak.
What in the hell was so weak about it? Like that was the worst thing I could be doing right now. I mean, I could be engaging in self-harm or risky behaviors. I could be shit-faced or high as a kite. Nope. I was weepy, and I had a feeling there were people out there who probably thought going out and picking fights or drinking until they vomited was better than having a good cry.
On second thought, drinking until I didn’t know who I was sounded good right about then. I just . . . I really didn’t want to . . . feel anything. I missed my family. I missed Erin, and as much as I wanted to turn Seth’s nuts into a punching bag, I missed him—the him from before.
God, his words still stung, but I saw the truth behind what was driving them. I’d probably seen it before, but hadn’t wanted to truly acknowledge it.
Plopping onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling. Seth’s sudden change of heart sort of made sense now. He had to have known it was getting close to when Alex would return. There was no way he hadn’t. Not with the kind of bond they had. He had to have known she was coming.
I’d seen the way he’d stared at her yesterday.
And when I left the quad, Seth hadn’t followed. He stayed there with them, with her. That wasn’t jealousy talking. That was just reality.
Even though Alex and Aiden had the kind of love poets rambled on about, there had been something powerful between Seth and Alex. Deacon had said so himself, something practically unbreakable.
I always thought his reluctance to talk about Alex had to do with his guilt, but now, I knew there was more to it. Seth wasn’t over Alex and whatever they shared.
And that sucked.
Because I couldn’t compete with someone who was a legend. Someone Seth had given up eternity for.
I was in love with someone who was still wrapped up in someone else—someone who was a freaking legend among their kind.
A knock on the door drew me out of my thoughts. Sitting up, I swung my legs off the bed and stood. I hoped it was Deacon or Luke or both of them. Deacon would watch Supernatural with me and everything would be right in the world, at least for a few hours, and I wouldn’t feel like I . . . like I was forgotten.
Opening the door, I came face to face with Alex.
Holy crap.
Startled, I took a step back as I felt my mouth drop open. What was she doing here? Was she at the wrong door? Oh my God, what if she was at the wrong door and had meant to knock on Seth’s?
I was going to punch her.
Okay. She could probably kick my ass, so I would punch her and run.
She clasped her hands together as she looked up at me. “Hi,” she said. “I know we don’t know each other, but I was wondering if you had a couple of minutes to chat?”
Struck dumb, I stepped aside. Would I seriously refuse her? Uh. No. Alex walked in and closed the door behind her. I faced her, having no idea what in the hell was going on.
Standing in front of her, as close as we were, I felt like—like Bigfoot looming over her. A blonde Bigfoot. I could legit pick her up and put her in my pocket.
“I’m Alex An—”
“I know who you are.” The moment those words left my mouth, I cringed. Icicles could’ve formed in the room. “I mean, I know who you are. Everyone knows who you are.”
Her brows lifted. “That’s kind of creepy.”
I snapped my mouth shut.
“Not that you’re creepy for saying that. It’s just that I’m not used to everyone knowing who I am.” She paused, wrinkling her nose—and oh my God, my eyes widened. I did that. All. The. Time. “Well, people kind of knew who I was before the whole ‘rise from the dead’ demigod thing, but it usually wasn’t anything good.”
“Oh,” I murmured, still staring at her.
A half-smile formed on her lips. “Anyway, you’re Josie.”
I nodded slowly.
Alex laughed, the sound husky and warm. “Well, duh. You know who you are.”
I nodded again.
“This isn’t coming out right,” she said with another laugh. “I wanted to meet you. I hear there’s something we have in common.”
“We’ve both been with Seth?” I blurted out, and holy shitballs, I did not just say that.
Her brown eyes widened slightly as her mouth formed an O.
I totally just said that.
“Oh my gosh, I mean, not that you’ve been with Seth, like with him. I haven’t even actually been with him in that kind of way.” Heat scalded my cheeks. I wasn’t even sure if Seth and Alex had gone there, but I was seriously hoping that they hadn’t because that would be yet one more thing she had going for her that I didn’t.
