The Power
Page 53
“I’m surprised you actually listened.”
“I . . .” She faded off as her gaze tracked my hand and the towel before looking away, focusing on what appeared to be my shoulder. “I didn’t stay because you told me to.”
“Of course not,” I murmured.
Her nose wrinkled. “I stayed because I think we need to clear the air between us.”
“Is that so?” I tossed the towel onto the back of the chair.
Josie stepped away from the door and placed the dagger on the coffee table, then stepped back, wiping her right hand on the side of her jeans. Then, slowly, her gaze lifted to mine. “I know what happened between us.”
My stomach clenched. “Josie—”
“No,” she stated the word so strongly, so firmly that it caught my attention. Silenced me. “You’re going to listen to me, because I deserve that. Do you understand me?”
I totally understood that my dick was pressing against the zipper of my pants at a very inappropriate time. Jaw working, I nodded.
“At first, I didn’t understand. I was shocked, because I thought . . .” She swallowed hard before continuing. “It doesn’t matter what I thought, and I want to get one thing straight. I’m not telling you any of this because I expect pity or any real explanation. I’m telling you this because we’re going to have to work together. We’re going to be seeing each other around, and I don’t want to worry about things being weird and awkward.”
“Okay.”
Her eyes flashed. “And we need to establish some boundaries—rules about what you can and cannot do with me and how you will speak to me.”
My brows inched up my forehead, but I kept my mouth shut, because the hard glint to her eyes told me she sort of wanted to cut me.
“All right?” When I nodded, she exhaled roughly. “I know you’re still . . . um, hung up on Alex.”
I stared at her a moment, unsure if I’d really heard her correctly. Okay. I did hear her right. Maybe she was joking. Based on the seriousness with which she delivered it, I was going to go with the fact she was being serious.
She lowered her gaze as she twisted her hands together. “I mean, obviously you’re still attracted to other people. Duh, but I get that what runs deeper is reserved for her.”
“Wait. What?” I said, snapping out of it.
She moved back and sat on the edge of the chair. “I mean, it totally makes sense now, and I feel like an idiot for not seeing it before. I get that you’re in . . . in love with her and—”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Holy shit.
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t think this is funny.”
“It kind of is, trust me.”
“No, it’s not.” She popped to her feet, and at her sides her hands balled. “You can stand there and laugh, because you’re either a jerk-face or in complete denial, but I saw the way you looked at her—”
“The way I looked at her?” Incredulous, I stared at her.
“When she first showed up on the quad, you stared at her like you—you never expected to see her again.”
“Because I really was hoping not to,” I admitted, brows furrowing.
“I totally understand that. I mean, trust me, I get it.” Her arms folded across her stomach. “Seeing someone you want and can’t have—”
“That’s not the reason, Josie. I am not in love with Alex.” I stared at her a moment. “I was never in love with her. It wasn’t like that between us.”
“You’re saying there wasn’t anything there? That you felt nothing for her?” she challenged.
Part of me couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. Turning away, I shoved my hand through my hair, clasping the back of my neck. “Of course I felt something for her, but it wasn’t that. It wasn’t what she felt for Aiden or he felt for her.”
“Maybe you don’t even realize it,” she said after a moment, her voice quiet. “But I see it. I get—”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re seeing.” I whipped around, chest rising heavily. “It has nothing to do with her—with Alex! It has nothing to do with you.”
Closing her eyes, she shook her head as she turned her cheek, and there was a second where I realized that if I let her believe this, everything would be easier, but that’s not what I did.
“Gods, Josie. Do you really think I see you and her as the same? Alex is Alex and my past with her is in the past, but you—you are everything.”
Her blue eyes were so big they nearly swallowed her face. “I’m everything? If that’s the case, then I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you want to be with me? Why would—” Her voice cracked, and I hated that, and couldn’t stop myself. I stepped toward her, but she held up her hand. “How could I be everything to you when you broke my heart?”
“What?” I stopped. Everything stopped as I stared at her.
Josie shook her head as she pressed the heel of her hand to her chest. “I can’t be your everything. You would be with me. You would, and I wouldn’t be feeling like this. My heart wouldn’t be broken.” Eyes glittering like sapphires, she took a step back. “If I was everything to you, you’d love me as much as I love you.”
CHAPTER 18
Josie
Oh my God.
My words echoed in the silence, bouncing back and forth between us. I couldn’t believe I’d said that out loud. What was I thinking? I had no control over what I was going to say.
“I . . .” She faded off as her gaze tracked my hand and the towel before looking away, focusing on what appeared to be my shoulder. “I didn’t stay because you told me to.”
“Of course not,” I murmured.
Her nose wrinkled. “I stayed because I think we need to clear the air between us.”
“Is that so?” I tossed the towel onto the back of the chair.
Josie stepped away from the door and placed the dagger on the coffee table, then stepped back, wiping her right hand on the side of her jeans. Then, slowly, her gaze lifted to mine. “I know what happened between us.”
My stomach clenched. “Josie—”
“No,” she stated the word so strongly, so firmly that it caught my attention. Silenced me. “You’re going to listen to me, because I deserve that. Do you understand me?”
I totally understood that my dick was pressing against the zipper of my pants at a very inappropriate time. Jaw working, I nodded.
“At first, I didn’t understand. I was shocked, because I thought . . .” She swallowed hard before continuing. “It doesn’t matter what I thought, and I want to get one thing straight. I’m not telling you any of this because I expect pity or any real explanation. I’m telling you this because we’re going to have to work together. We’re going to be seeing each other around, and I don’t want to worry about things being weird and awkward.”
“Okay.”
Her eyes flashed. “And we need to establish some boundaries—rules about what you can and cannot do with me and how you will speak to me.”
My brows inched up my forehead, but I kept my mouth shut, because the hard glint to her eyes told me she sort of wanted to cut me.
“All right?” When I nodded, she exhaled roughly. “I know you’re still . . . um, hung up on Alex.”
I stared at her a moment, unsure if I’d really heard her correctly. Okay. I did hear her right. Maybe she was joking. Based on the seriousness with which she delivered it, I was going to go with the fact she was being serious.
She lowered her gaze as she twisted her hands together. “I mean, obviously you’re still attracted to other people. Duh, but I get that what runs deeper is reserved for her.”
“Wait. What?” I said, snapping out of it.
She moved back and sat on the edge of the chair. “I mean, it totally makes sense now, and I feel like an idiot for not seeing it before. I get that you’re in . . . in love with her and—”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Holy shit.
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t think this is funny.”
“It kind of is, trust me.”
“No, it’s not.” She popped to her feet, and at her sides her hands balled. “You can stand there and laugh, because you’re either a jerk-face or in complete denial, but I saw the way you looked at her—”
“The way I looked at her?” Incredulous, I stared at her.
“When she first showed up on the quad, you stared at her like you—you never expected to see her again.”
“Because I really was hoping not to,” I admitted, brows furrowing.
“I totally understand that. I mean, trust me, I get it.” Her arms folded across her stomach. “Seeing someone you want and can’t have—”
“That’s not the reason, Josie. I am not in love with Alex.” I stared at her a moment. “I was never in love with her. It wasn’t like that between us.”
“You’re saying there wasn’t anything there? That you felt nothing for her?” she challenged.
Part of me couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. Turning away, I shoved my hand through my hair, clasping the back of my neck. “Of course I felt something for her, but it wasn’t that. It wasn’t what she felt for Aiden or he felt for her.”
“Maybe you don’t even realize it,” she said after a moment, her voice quiet. “But I see it. I get—”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re seeing.” I whipped around, chest rising heavily. “It has nothing to do with her—with Alex! It has nothing to do with you.”
Closing her eyes, she shook her head as she turned her cheek, and there was a second where I realized that if I let her believe this, everything would be easier, but that’s not what I did.
“Gods, Josie. Do you really think I see you and her as the same? Alex is Alex and my past with her is in the past, but you—you are everything.”
Her blue eyes were so big they nearly swallowed her face. “I’m everything? If that’s the case, then I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you want to be with me? Why would—” Her voice cracked, and I hated that, and couldn’t stop myself. I stepped toward her, but she held up her hand. “How could I be everything to you when you broke my heart?”
“What?” I stopped. Everything stopped as I stared at her.
Josie shook her head as she pressed the heel of her hand to her chest. “I can’t be your everything. You would be with me. You would, and I wouldn’t be feeling like this. My heart wouldn’t be broken.” Eyes glittering like sapphires, she took a step back. “If I was everything to you, you’d love me as much as I love you.”
CHAPTER 18
Josie
Oh my God.
My words echoed in the silence, bouncing back and forth between us. I couldn’t believe I’d said that out loud. What was I thinking? I had no control over what I was going to say.
