The Rising
Page 54
“It’s too late now,” I said when I returned to Daniel. “I say we wait until morning.”
“Agreed. Though it may take all of my special persuasive powers to keep the troops from mutinying.” He tried for a smile, but it was strained.
“Are you getting any sleep at all?” I asked.
“I’m fine.” He caught my look and some of the steel went out of his shoulders. “Yeah, I’m tired. But I can rest soon.”
“Tonight?”
He shrugged and gazed out at the forest.
“How are you doing otherwise?” I asked. “We haven’t had much time to talk.”
“We haven’t had any time to talk.” He paused and managed another wan smile. “Sorry. Obviously we can’t expect time alone right now. It’s just . . .”
He rolled his shoulders and looked away. He was right, of course. It wasn’t the time. But I didn’t care. I wanted to be with him. Alone. We hadn’t really had that since I’d escaped the Nasts, and I longed for it. Just a few minutes alone with him to talk, to relax. I felt guilty about it. Felt insufferably selfish. But it’s what I wanted.
“Let’s go talk now,” I said. “Rafe and Ash are standing watch. Corey and Hayley are dozing.” I looked around. “I saw a stream that way. I say we be completely irresponsible and sneak off duty. At least for a few minutes.”
A more genuine smile. “Sounds like a plan.”
We got about five steps when brush crackled behind us. Rafe stepped through.
“Hey,” he said. “Ash is getting antsy. Have we got a plan?”
“Actually, Daniel and I were just . . .”
I trailed off. When I glanced at Rafe, I couldn’t think up a good excuse to take off with Daniel, and I felt like we needed one.
“Call Ash down,” I said. “It’s conference time.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
NO ONE WAS HAPPY about spending another night in the woods. We were on the run, Ash said, so why the hell wouldn’t we come knocking in the middle of the night? He had a point, but my gut told me it was better to wait for daylight, and Daniel agreed.
We found a place deep in the forest patch and settled in for the night. Before we did, I suggested we take turns patrolling and standing watch—in hopes that that would let Daniel get some rest. Even Hayley agreed. We could see the toll this was taking on Daniel, when he was still recovering from his accident, and we really needed him in top shape for the next step of persuading these people to listen to us.
Part of my plan, too, was to take first round, and that way, if Daniel still wanted to talk, he could slip out with me. Except Rafe offered to share my shift and I couldn’t say much about that.
We headed out to patrol so we wouldn’t disturb the others. After we’d circled the campsite a few times, Rafe caught my hand and tugged me behind some bushes.
“I think we’re supposed to be standing guard,” I said.
“Mmm, maybe, but that sounds like a token protest.”
His hands circled my waist. I hesitated, about to say it wasn’t a token protest, that we had to be on guard in case the werewolf—or anyone else—came out here and found strangers sleeping in the forest.
Even as I thought that, though, I felt silly. Paranoid. The forest was silent. There was nothing wrong with a brief break. God knows, a few days ago, I wouldn’t even have thought of protesting—just one look in Rafe’s eyes and caution be damned. Another sign I was stressed and anxious, I guess.
I kissed him and it only took a moment for me to lose that hesitation. His fingers moved against my bare skin where my shirt had lifted from my jeans. I eased back and looked up at him, smiling lazily, my eyes half-closed, feeling drowsy and happy as his scent washed over me.
“This is when it’s perfect,” he murmured. “When we’re alone like this, when you kiss me like that, when you look at me this way. I see that and I don’t have any doubts that this will work.”
I smiled wryly. “Oh, I have some doubts our plan will work. It’s just a lot easier to forget them right now.”
“I don’t mean—” He cut himself off and nodded. “I think it’s the best we can do. Doubts are expected.”
He bent and kissed me again and it was a strange kiss, one that kept picking up, then slowing down, like running uphill. I’d feel that heat, then he’d pull back a little. Kiss me harder, deeper. Pull back. Finally he broke it off and stepped away so abruptly that my hands fell from his neck.
“I didn’t mean the plan, Maya. I meant us.”
“Us?” My heart picked up speed. “Doubts? What’s wrong?”
He took another step, and I wanted to pull him back, just say, Whatever it is, forget it. But I just stood there, heart thumping.
“I don’t want to be that guy. I really don’t.”
“What guy?” I said. But I knew. I knew and I braced myself.
“The guy who has a problem with his girlfriend hanging out with another boy. I’m not like that, Maya. I don’t get jealous unless there’s a reason.”
“Is this about what Sam said? That story she told? She made that up to—”
“I know she did.”
“Then why . . . ? Is it because I was worried about Daniel?”
“No. Yes. No.” A sharp shake of his head. “Getting jealous because you’re worried about a friend who was hit by a car? What kind of jerk does that? I knew you’d be worried. Hell, I’d be concerned if you weren’t worried. But when I’d see how worried you were, I’d feel . . .” He let out a soft snarl and kicked the ground as he turned away. “I’d feel like a jerk. I want to be okay with your friendship. I really do. But little things keep piling up and I keep thinking about what Corey said, and . . . and I’m not okay with it.”
“What did Corey say?” I asked, my voice low, a spark of anger igniting in my gut. “If he implied there was ever anything between me and Daniel—”
“It’s not you. It’s Daniel.”
“What?”
He hesitated and seemed ready to brush it off, then backed up, putting more distance between us, cracking his knuckles. “You and Serena drew straws to see who would ask Daniel to a dance a couple of years ago, right?”
“Yes, but—Wait, who told you that?” Only Serena and I had known about the game.
“Agreed. Though it may take all of my special persuasive powers to keep the troops from mutinying.” He tried for a smile, but it was strained.
“Are you getting any sleep at all?” I asked.
“I’m fine.” He caught my look and some of the steel went out of his shoulders. “Yeah, I’m tired. But I can rest soon.”
“Tonight?”
He shrugged and gazed out at the forest.
“How are you doing otherwise?” I asked. “We haven’t had much time to talk.”
“We haven’t had any time to talk.” He paused and managed another wan smile. “Sorry. Obviously we can’t expect time alone right now. It’s just . . .”
He rolled his shoulders and looked away. He was right, of course. It wasn’t the time. But I didn’t care. I wanted to be with him. Alone. We hadn’t really had that since I’d escaped the Nasts, and I longed for it. Just a few minutes alone with him to talk, to relax. I felt guilty about it. Felt insufferably selfish. But it’s what I wanted.
“Let’s go talk now,” I said. “Rafe and Ash are standing watch. Corey and Hayley are dozing.” I looked around. “I saw a stream that way. I say we be completely irresponsible and sneak off duty. At least for a few minutes.”
A more genuine smile. “Sounds like a plan.”
We got about five steps when brush crackled behind us. Rafe stepped through.
“Hey,” he said. “Ash is getting antsy. Have we got a plan?”
“Actually, Daniel and I were just . . .”
I trailed off. When I glanced at Rafe, I couldn’t think up a good excuse to take off with Daniel, and I felt like we needed one.
“Call Ash down,” I said. “It’s conference time.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
NO ONE WAS HAPPY about spending another night in the woods. We were on the run, Ash said, so why the hell wouldn’t we come knocking in the middle of the night? He had a point, but my gut told me it was better to wait for daylight, and Daniel agreed.
We found a place deep in the forest patch and settled in for the night. Before we did, I suggested we take turns patrolling and standing watch—in hopes that that would let Daniel get some rest. Even Hayley agreed. We could see the toll this was taking on Daniel, when he was still recovering from his accident, and we really needed him in top shape for the next step of persuading these people to listen to us.
Part of my plan, too, was to take first round, and that way, if Daniel still wanted to talk, he could slip out with me. Except Rafe offered to share my shift and I couldn’t say much about that.
We headed out to patrol so we wouldn’t disturb the others. After we’d circled the campsite a few times, Rafe caught my hand and tugged me behind some bushes.
“I think we’re supposed to be standing guard,” I said.
“Mmm, maybe, but that sounds like a token protest.”
His hands circled my waist. I hesitated, about to say it wasn’t a token protest, that we had to be on guard in case the werewolf—or anyone else—came out here and found strangers sleeping in the forest.
Even as I thought that, though, I felt silly. Paranoid. The forest was silent. There was nothing wrong with a brief break. God knows, a few days ago, I wouldn’t even have thought of protesting—just one look in Rafe’s eyes and caution be damned. Another sign I was stressed and anxious, I guess.
I kissed him and it only took a moment for me to lose that hesitation. His fingers moved against my bare skin where my shirt had lifted from my jeans. I eased back and looked up at him, smiling lazily, my eyes half-closed, feeling drowsy and happy as his scent washed over me.
“This is when it’s perfect,” he murmured. “When we’re alone like this, when you kiss me like that, when you look at me this way. I see that and I don’t have any doubts that this will work.”
I smiled wryly. “Oh, I have some doubts our plan will work. It’s just a lot easier to forget them right now.”
“I don’t mean—” He cut himself off and nodded. “I think it’s the best we can do. Doubts are expected.”
He bent and kissed me again and it was a strange kiss, one that kept picking up, then slowing down, like running uphill. I’d feel that heat, then he’d pull back a little. Kiss me harder, deeper. Pull back. Finally he broke it off and stepped away so abruptly that my hands fell from his neck.
“I didn’t mean the plan, Maya. I meant us.”
“Us?” My heart picked up speed. “Doubts? What’s wrong?”
He took another step, and I wanted to pull him back, just say, Whatever it is, forget it. But I just stood there, heart thumping.
“I don’t want to be that guy. I really don’t.”
“What guy?” I said. But I knew. I knew and I braced myself.
“The guy who has a problem with his girlfriend hanging out with another boy. I’m not like that, Maya. I don’t get jealous unless there’s a reason.”
“Is this about what Sam said? That story she told? She made that up to—”
“I know she did.”
“Then why . . . ? Is it because I was worried about Daniel?”
“No. Yes. No.” A sharp shake of his head. “Getting jealous because you’re worried about a friend who was hit by a car? What kind of jerk does that? I knew you’d be worried. Hell, I’d be concerned if you weren’t worried. But when I’d see how worried you were, I’d feel . . .” He let out a soft snarl and kicked the ground as he turned away. “I’d feel like a jerk. I want to be okay with your friendship. I really do. But little things keep piling up and I keep thinking about what Corey said, and . . . and I’m not okay with it.”
“What did Corey say?” I asked, my voice low, a spark of anger igniting in my gut. “If he implied there was ever anything between me and Daniel—”
“It’s not you. It’s Daniel.”
“What?”
He hesitated and seemed ready to brush it off, then backed up, putting more distance between us, cracking his knuckles. “You and Serena drew straws to see who would ask Daniel to a dance a couple of years ago, right?”
“Yes, but—Wait, who told you that?” Only Serena and I had known about the game.
