The Rocker That Loves Me
Page 12
One of Emmie’s gods must really hate me, probably laughing at me right at that moment. I had found paradise and lost it all in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t lost on me that the one girl in the world I felt something deep for turned out to be my complete opposite.
I had been screwing every girl that looked interested since I was fourteen, and saying that I had fucked thousands of girls was not an understatement. When Demon’s Wings had hit it big, women were lining up for quickies. There were nights when I would start out with one and end the night with two, sometimes three.
Those nights had been fun, but now I just felt sick thinking about them. I felt dirty, unclean, and undeserving of Harper. Sweet, innocent Harper, who had experienced her first kiss with me…
My heart was screaming for me to go back, to take what it now considered as mine, while my brain was shouting at me to keep running. I was only going to cause her pain. All the reasons I shouldn’t get close to her or let her love me as I so desperately wanted her to, kept flashing through my mind.
The images had me stopping, my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath after the long, demanding run I had just put my lungs through. I was on the verge of puking and tried to get my gag reflux under control.
When the nausea passed I straightened my body out and started running again, needing the physical pain to numb the emotions.
It was more than an hour later before I finally stopped torturing my lungs and legs. Sweat soaked my shirt, and my jeans were beyond uncomfortable to wear. I was somewhere in Central Park, the unrelenting sun beating down on me. Panting, I sat down under a big tree and pulled my cellphone out of my pocket.
Emmie picked up on the third ring. “What’s up?” She sounded distracted and I could hear Mia jabbering something in the background.
“Just needed to hear your voice,” I told her honestly. I was so homesick for her, especially when I was hurting.
“Everything okay out there?” she asked, her tone concerned now. “You don’t sound like yourself.”
I didn’t want to worry her. She already took care of us and our everyday shit without complaining…much. I was a grown ass man. I could handle my love life on my own. Besides, she probably wouldn’t have believed me if I did tell her the truth. “Just finished a run,” I told her instead. “How are my girls doing?”
“Mia has a new tooth,” Emmie informed me, and I smiled despite the pain still lingering in my chest. “That makes seven now. And she’s walking more. I can’t keep up with her! Oh, and she said Shay. I’m pretty sure she was saying Shane, so I think she misses you.”
“I miss her too. And you.” Especially you.
Chapter 6
Harper
“I hate guys.”
I heard her words but didn’t raise my head as I continued to edit the batch of pictures I had taken earlier that day for my freelance job that morning. When Dallas started complaining about guys I knew to just nod and agree with her anyway.
“Fucking rock stars.”
“Really don’t care, Dallas.” I didn’t mean to snap at her, but if she was going to suddenly tell me that she was sleeping with a rock star, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.
Almost two weeks after my embarrassing kiss with a certain rock star and I was still hurting. I hadn’t heard from or seen Shane since that Sunday when he had kissed me and ran. I knew that I wasn’t what he went for and he had more than proven that to me.
Of course Dallas went on as if I hadn’t even said a word. “Do you know he had the nerve to ask me to be in his new music video? Like I would ever give him the time of day, let alone prance around like one of his ho-bags in a stupid video!”
I rolled my eyes at her. “If you say so.” She was still talking about it, which told me that she secretly wanted to. That was just the way Dallas was. The lady doth protest too much and all that bullshit.
“I don’t even like his music.” Dallas stretched out on the couch beside me, her feet pressed against my thigh as she flipped through the channels without really seeing them. “Demon’s Wings are so much better if you ask me.”
The mention of that particular band had me grimacing, and I closed my laptop. “So who is it?” I asked. “Some boy band metro sexual guy piss you off?”
“Axton Cage.” She said his name with a disgusted twist of her lips, but I wasn’t blind to the interested light in her baby blues. “He is such a douche.”
I raised a brow at that. “You met Axton Cage?”
“Yup. When I went with Lana this mornin’. Shane called to invite her to watch the auditions. She already leave for her date with the Demon?”
“Shane?”
“Drake,” Dallas corrected, a smirk on her face. “Bettcha ten bucks she doesn’t come home tonight.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed my glasses up on my nose. “No deal. We both know that she isn’t coming home.” It wasn’t that Lana was easy. She was just so in love with the guy that she wouldn’t be able to turn him down if that was what he had in mind. And if he was smart, he would definitely have that in mind.
“How did your shoot go this morning?” she asked, apparently done with her rock star rant for the moment. “You never said who the job was for.”
I couldn’t help but grin. My personal life might not be the greatest at the moment, but I was thriving in my career. “It was Rock America . They needed someone to cover a story and take some pictures. I sent them my portfolio before graduation and didn’t think I would ever hear back from them. I already emailed them my article and the pictures I thought worked best and the editor was in love with my work!”
“Harp, that’s amazeballs!” Dallas nudged my leg with her foot. “We need to celebrate.”
Any other Friday night and I would have turned her down. I knew from experience that her idea of celebrating was going out to a club. Clubs just weren’t my scene, but tonight I needed to go out and drink away the depression I had been feeling.
I surprised Dallas by saying, “Okay, make me beautiful.”
Blue eyes narrowed on me. “That doesn’t take much effort, babe. But if you want me to, I can do your makeup.”
Two hours later we were in the middle of Club 101 and I was halfway into my third margarita. I started to feel the effects of the tequila in a good way and danced with Dallas in ways I never would have done if I were completely sober. Laughing, I tossed back the last of my drink and hugged my friend close.
I had been screwing every girl that looked interested since I was fourteen, and saying that I had fucked thousands of girls was not an understatement. When Demon’s Wings had hit it big, women were lining up for quickies. There were nights when I would start out with one and end the night with two, sometimes three.
Those nights had been fun, but now I just felt sick thinking about them. I felt dirty, unclean, and undeserving of Harper. Sweet, innocent Harper, who had experienced her first kiss with me…
My heart was screaming for me to go back, to take what it now considered as mine, while my brain was shouting at me to keep running. I was only going to cause her pain. All the reasons I shouldn’t get close to her or let her love me as I so desperately wanted her to, kept flashing through my mind.
The images had me stopping, my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath after the long, demanding run I had just put my lungs through. I was on the verge of puking and tried to get my gag reflux under control.
When the nausea passed I straightened my body out and started running again, needing the physical pain to numb the emotions.
It was more than an hour later before I finally stopped torturing my lungs and legs. Sweat soaked my shirt, and my jeans were beyond uncomfortable to wear. I was somewhere in Central Park, the unrelenting sun beating down on me. Panting, I sat down under a big tree and pulled my cellphone out of my pocket.
Emmie picked up on the third ring. “What’s up?” She sounded distracted and I could hear Mia jabbering something in the background.
“Just needed to hear your voice,” I told her honestly. I was so homesick for her, especially when I was hurting.
“Everything okay out there?” she asked, her tone concerned now. “You don’t sound like yourself.”
I didn’t want to worry her. She already took care of us and our everyday shit without complaining…much. I was a grown ass man. I could handle my love life on my own. Besides, she probably wouldn’t have believed me if I did tell her the truth. “Just finished a run,” I told her instead. “How are my girls doing?”
“Mia has a new tooth,” Emmie informed me, and I smiled despite the pain still lingering in my chest. “That makes seven now. And she’s walking more. I can’t keep up with her! Oh, and she said Shay. I’m pretty sure she was saying Shane, so I think she misses you.”
“I miss her too. And you.” Especially you.
Chapter 6
Harper
“I hate guys.”
I heard her words but didn’t raise my head as I continued to edit the batch of pictures I had taken earlier that day for my freelance job that morning. When Dallas started complaining about guys I knew to just nod and agree with her anyway.
“Fucking rock stars.”
“Really don’t care, Dallas.” I didn’t mean to snap at her, but if she was going to suddenly tell me that she was sleeping with a rock star, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.
Almost two weeks after my embarrassing kiss with a certain rock star and I was still hurting. I hadn’t heard from or seen Shane since that Sunday when he had kissed me and ran. I knew that I wasn’t what he went for and he had more than proven that to me.
Of course Dallas went on as if I hadn’t even said a word. “Do you know he had the nerve to ask me to be in his new music video? Like I would ever give him the time of day, let alone prance around like one of his ho-bags in a stupid video!”
I rolled my eyes at her. “If you say so.” She was still talking about it, which told me that she secretly wanted to. That was just the way Dallas was. The lady doth protest too much and all that bullshit.
“I don’t even like his music.” Dallas stretched out on the couch beside me, her feet pressed against my thigh as she flipped through the channels without really seeing them. “Demon’s Wings are so much better if you ask me.”
The mention of that particular band had me grimacing, and I closed my laptop. “So who is it?” I asked. “Some boy band metro sexual guy piss you off?”
“Axton Cage.” She said his name with a disgusted twist of her lips, but I wasn’t blind to the interested light in her baby blues. “He is such a douche.”
I raised a brow at that. “You met Axton Cage?”
“Yup. When I went with Lana this mornin’. Shane called to invite her to watch the auditions. She already leave for her date with the Demon?”
“Shane?”
“Drake,” Dallas corrected, a smirk on her face. “Bettcha ten bucks she doesn’t come home tonight.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed my glasses up on my nose. “No deal. We both know that she isn’t coming home.” It wasn’t that Lana was easy. She was just so in love with the guy that she wouldn’t be able to turn him down if that was what he had in mind. And if he was smart, he would definitely have that in mind.
“How did your shoot go this morning?” she asked, apparently done with her rock star rant for the moment. “You never said who the job was for.”
I couldn’t help but grin. My personal life might not be the greatest at the moment, but I was thriving in my career. “It was Rock America . They needed someone to cover a story and take some pictures. I sent them my portfolio before graduation and didn’t think I would ever hear back from them. I already emailed them my article and the pictures I thought worked best and the editor was in love with my work!”
“Harp, that’s amazeballs!” Dallas nudged my leg with her foot. “We need to celebrate.”
Any other Friday night and I would have turned her down. I knew from experience that her idea of celebrating was going out to a club. Clubs just weren’t my scene, but tonight I needed to go out and drink away the depression I had been feeling.
I surprised Dallas by saying, “Okay, make me beautiful.”
Blue eyes narrowed on me. “That doesn’t take much effort, babe. But if you want me to, I can do your makeup.”
Two hours later we were in the middle of Club 101 and I was halfway into my third margarita. I started to feel the effects of the tequila in a good way and danced with Dallas in ways I never would have done if I were completely sober. Laughing, I tossed back the last of my drink and hugged my friend close.
