The Rocker That Loves Me
Page 34
Trust. I had trusted him wholeheartedly.
And he had tricked me into meeting with my mother and stepsister tonight. For what gain? I was clueless to the answer. I knew that it wasn’t because he wanted to meet the semi-famous model, Ariana Calloway. Shane had met his fair share of models much more beautiful and more popular than my stepsister.
The taxi stopped at a red light. Swallowing hard around the dry lump in my throat, I pulled my cellphone from my bag and called Dallas. It rang five times before going to voicemail. Figuring she was already at the club waiting to celebrate my new job, I just left a message telling her I wasn’t going to meet her and Linc. I had a headache and was heading home to sleep it off.
It wasn’t exactly a lie. My head was pounding. Turning off my phone, I threw it into my purse.
Traffic was hell. It took twice as long to get home as it had to get to the restaurant in the town car earlier that evening. When the cab finally stopped in front of my building, I tossed the driver all the cash I had in my purse. It must have been enough, plus a decent tip, because he didn’t argue when I stepped out and headed toward the front door.
Curtis, the night doorman greeted me, but all I could manage was a weak smile as I stepped into the thankfully waiting elevator. It only took a few moments to get to the twelfth floor, but my head was really starting to ache so it felt longer. When the elevator stopped, I stepped out, my attention on getting my keys from my purse.
“I’m sorry!”
My head snapped up at Shane’s voice and I stopped. It hurt to look at him, but I did. His dinner jacket was gone, his once white shirt soaked in his sweat. He was panting and I knew that he must have run all the way from the restaurant. A glance at his once perfect Italian shoes told me that he had scuffed them up to the point of ruin after running that distance in them.
I couldn’t find the words or even the will to yell at him. I was equal parts hurt and in awe. What had been the point of tonight? To see if I was breakable? If that was the case, then the answer was a definite yes .
Strong, sweat dampened arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into his hot body. He tucked my head under his chin, and I pressed against him. His heart was racing as fast as a champion race horse in my ear. Those strong arms actually trembled as he tightened them around me.
“I’m so sorry.”
Still, I didn’t speak. My vocal cords felt paralyzed, so I just let him hold me for a while longer.
I wasn’t sure how long we stood there like that, but Shane finally stepped back and took my keys from me. I felt cold, lost, and alone those few seconds he was gone from me. He opened the door to the apartment and turned back to me. I saw the glassiness in those blue-gray eyes as he lifted me like I was a fragile glass doll and carried me inside.
My eyes had been dry all evening, but now as he gently carried me into my apartment and then to my bedroom, I felt my eyes fill with scalding tears. A broken sob escaped me and I felt him tense.
Tenderly, Shane placed me on my bed. I watched through my tears as he tore his shirt off and then came back to me. His eyes were bright and it shocked me when I saw a tear escape. It rolled down his cheek and fell, landing on my own cheek.
“I’m sorry, beautiful,” he whispered.
“Wh-why?” I finally got out in a hoarse voice.
“Why what, baby?”
“Why did you do that?” The question exploded from me. “What did you have to prove?”
He closed his eyes, shaking his dark head. “I don’t even know any more. It all kind of clicked into place when I talked to your stepsister this morning. No matter how many times I tell you that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, you never believe me. I realized that Ariana and your mom must be behind all of that.” He sucked in a shaky breath and another tear escaped his eyes. “I thought I could make you face your demons and prove to you that no matter what you will always be breathtaking to me.”
Shane swallowed hard and broke my heart a little more as the tears began to fall faster. “But all I proved to you was that I’m a dick.”
With trembling fingers I wiped his tears away. I couldn’t disagree with him. Tonight had not been good for us. But for just a moment, a really small moment, I had done something I never had before. I had stood up to my mother. Crazy enough, she and Ariana were the only two people in the world I cowered to. They had this insane power to make me feel weak.
And tonight, I had stood my ground—for about five seconds—but still I knew it was Shane standing beside me that gave me even that little bit of courage. It had also shown me something that scared the living hell out of me.
Monica and Ariana no longer had the power to destroy me.
Because Shane now held all of that precious power in his big, calloused hands.
Chapter 16
Shane
When I realized that Harper had left the restaurant, I knew I was on the very edge of losing her. Terrified didn’t even begin to describe how scared I was. I left Emmie and Nik still sitting at the table for four and rushed outside.
When I didn’t see her on the streets, I wasted no time calling Dallas in a desperate hope that Harper had went in search of her friends. Getting the other girl’s voicemail had made my fear rise a few levels, and I just started running. Ten blocks later I was tossing my jacket at some homeless guy I had seen in a side alley because it was slowing me down.
The streets of New York were always crowded, but tonight they had been especially so. I had to push through the masses that slowed me down, not caring that I left people cursing at my back. By the time I got to Harper’s apartment and questioned the night doorman, she still hadn’t returned.
I was thankful that Lana had put me on her list of approved guests. The guy didn’t stop me when I stepped onto the elevator. I was determined to see Harper tonight, even if I had to camp out in front of her door all night.
Now, as I stared down at the beautiful creature lying beside me on her bed, I realized something I should have already known. I could tell her I loved her a million times, but that would probably never register as the truth for her. I needed to show her, prove to her as well as say the words… And after tonight I was sure that I had only proved the complete opposite.
Blinking back my tears, I brushed a soft kiss over her forehead. I felt her tremble ever so slightly and knew that despite the disaster that tonight had been, she still wanted me just as much as I wanted her. “Can I make love to you?” I whispered, praying that she wouldn’t push me away.
And he had tricked me into meeting with my mother and stepsister tonight. For what gain? I was clueless to the answer. I knew that it wasn’t because he wanted to meet the semi-famous model, Ariana Calloway. Shane had met his fair share of models much more beautiful and more popular than my stepsister.
The taxi stopped at a red light. Swallowing hard around the dry lump in my throat, I pulled my cellphone from my bag and called Dallas. It rang five times before going to voicemail. Figuring she was already at the club waiting to celebrate my new job, I just left a message telling her I wasn’t going to meet her and Linc. I had a headache and was heading home to sleep it off.
It wasn’t exactly a lie. My head was pounding. Turning off my phone, I threw it into my purse.
Traffic was hell. It took twice as long to get home as it had to get to the restaurant in the town car earlier that evening. When the cab finally stopped in front of my building, I tossed the driver all the cash I had in my purse. It must have been enough, plus a decent tip, because he didn’t argue when I stepped out and headed toward the front door.
Curtis, the night doorman greeted me, but all I could manage was a weak smile as I stepped into the thankfully waiting elevator. It only took a few moments to get to the twelfth floor, but my head was really starting to ache so it felt longer. When the elevator stopped, I stepped out, my attention on getting my keys from my purse.
“I’m sorry!”
My head snapped up at Shane’s voice and I stopped. It hurt to look at him, but I did. His dinner jacket was gone, his once white shirt soaked in his sweat. He was panting and I knew that he must have run all the way from the restaurant. A glance at his once perfect Italian shoes told me that he had scuffed them up to the point of ruin after running that distance in them.
I couldn’t find the words or even the will to yell at him. I was equal parts hurt and in awe. What had been the point of tonight? To see if I was breakable? If that was the case, then the answer was a definite yes .
Strong, sweat dampened arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into his hot body. He tucked my head under his chin, and I pressed against him. His heart was racing as fast as a champion race horse in my ear. Those strong arms actually trembled as he tightened them around me.
“I’m so sorry.”
Still, I didn’t speak. My vocal cords felt paralyzed, so I just let him hold me for a while longer.
I wasn’t sure how long we stood there like that, but Shane finally stepped back and took my keys from me. I felt cold, lost, and alone those few seconds he was gone from me. He opened the door to the apartment and turned back to me. I saw the glassiness in those blue-gray eyes as he lifted me like I was a fragile glass doll and carried me inside.
My eyes had been dry all evening, but now as he gently carried me into my apartment and then to my bedroom, I felt my eyes fill with scalding tears. A broken sob escaped me and I felt him tense.
Tenderly, Shane placed me on my bed. I watched through my tears as he tore his shirt off and then came back to me. His eyes were bright and it shocked me when I saw a tear escape. It rolled down his cheek and fell, landing on my own cheek.
“I’m sorry, beautiful,” he whispered.
“Wh-why?” I finally got out in a hoarse voice.
“Why what, baby?”
“Why did you do that?” The question exploded from me. “What did you have to prove?”
He closed his eyes, shaking his dark head. “I don’t even know any more. It all kind of clicked into place when I talked to your stepsister this morning. No matter how many times I tell you that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, you never believe me. I realized that Ariana and your mom must be behind all of that.” He sucked in a shaky breath and another tear escaped his eyes. “I thought I could make you face your demons and prove to you that no matter what you will always be breathtaking to me.”
Shane swallowed hard and broke my heart a little more as the tears began to fall faster. “But all I proved to you was that I’m a dick.”
With trembling fingers I wiped his tears away. I couldn’t disagree with him. Tonight had not been good for us. But for just a moment, a really small moment, I had done something I never had before. I had stood up to my mother. Crazy enough, she and Ariana were the only two people in the world I cowered to. They had this insane power to make me feel weak.
And tonight, I had stood my ground—for about five seconds—but still I knew it was Shane standing beside me that gave me even that little bit of courage. It had also shown me something that scared the living hell out of me.
Monica and Ariana no longer had the power to destroy me.
Because Shane now held all of that precious power in his big, calloused hands.
Chapter 16
Shane
When I realized that Harper had left the restaurant, I knew I was on the very edge of losing her. Terrified didn’t even begin to describe how scared I was. I left Emmie and Nik still sitting at the table for four and rushed outside.
When I didn’t see her on the streets, I wasted no time calling Dallas in a desperate hope that Harper had went in search of her friends. Getting the other girl’s voicemail had made my fear rise a few levels, and I just started running. Ten blocks later I was tossing my jacket at some homeless guy I had seen in a side alley because it was slowing me down.
The streets of New York were always crowded, but tonight they had been especially so. I had to push through the masses that slowed me down, not caring that I left people cursing at my back. By the time I got to Harper’s apartment and questioned the night doorman, she still hadn’t returned.
I was thankful that Lana had put me on her list of approved guests. The guy didn’t stop me when I stepped onto the elevator. I was determined to see Harper tonight, even if I had to camp out in front of her door all night.
Now, as I stared down at the beautiful creature lying beside me on her bed, I realized something I should have already known. I could tell her I loved her a million times, but that would probably never register as the truth for her. I needed to show her, prove to her as well as say the words… And after tonight I was sure that I had only proved the complete opposite.
Blinking back my tears, I brushed a soft kiss over her forehead. I felt her tremble ever so slightly and knew that despite the disaster that tonight had been, she still wanted me just as much as I wanted her. “Can I make love to you?” I whispered, praying that she wouldn’t push me away.
