The Rocker That Needs Me
Page 18
Again, I nodded. I had already made my decision. It had been all I had thought about once I had fallen onto my bed in the early hours of the morning. For the first time in my life, I was willing to let someone buy me something expensive. A college education wasn’t something that I was going to turn down, and it was my way of escaping which made it all the more appealing.
When we all piled into the Escalade, I was relieved to find myself in the very back. When Shane and Emmie took up the middle row, I pressed my head against the cool glass of the window and closed my eyes, thankful that I wouldn’t have to be so close to Drake for the next five hours. When he finally slid into the front passenger seat, Nik pulled out into traffic and the long trip home began.
Everyone was quiet around me. Lucy was playing with her iPad while everyone else was doing what I was pretending to do. Drake’s snores made me glance up at one point to see him fast asleep. Shane muttered something under his breath about waking the dead, and I felt the slightest of smiles tease at my lips.
Emmie, seeing that I was awake turned in her seat enough to face me. “Jesse said that you will have an answer this week,” she whispered so she wouldn’t wake the baby.
I nodded, my eyes still on Drake. “I’d like to talk to you about it when we get home, actually.”
“Good. I can start the paperwork in the morning and get everything paid on time.” She smiled. “I’m really excited for you, Lana.”
Three bathroom stops and six miserable hours later, Nik pulled into the driveway in Malibu. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I grabbed my stuff and pulled Lucy toward the guest house. Emmie was going to have the new house decorated this week so we could be moved in by the weekend. Until then, I was sticking to the guesthouse.
“I’ll carry your cases in, Angel,” Drake called after me.
“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” I pushed Lucy faster. As soon as I had her settled, I grabbed the two piles of paper work that I had narrowed down from twelve the week before and rushed into the main house.
Emmie was pulling a bottle of water from the fridge when I found her. Something in my expression must have told her that she wasn’t going to like what I was going to do, but she didn’t say anything as she led me down the hall to her office and closed the door. “Sit down, Lana.” She sighed. “I have a feeling I’m going to need a drink after this,” she said half under her breath.
I had narrowed my choices down to two schools. Both had everything I wanted in a college. UCLA would have been my first choice—had been my first choice up until the night before. So I tore up the acceptance letter and handed over the one that was about to change my life.
Emmie muttered a curse when she looked down at the letter and the packet that had come with it. Green eyes flashed fire as she met my gaze. “Why?” she demanded.
“Because it’s where I need to be,” I whispered.
“You need to be here, close to everyone that loves you. Layla is going to go ape-shit over this, Lana!” She stood, glaring down at the packet that contained all the paper work she would have to deal with come morning. “Have you even thought this through? What will you do that far away? You will be all alone in a big city. No Layla, no Drake…” She broke off when she saw me flinch at the mention of his name. “Is this about Drake?”
I looked away. “I have thought this through, Em. In fact, I have done nothing but think about it since about three o’clock this morning. Around the time the girl that Drake brought to his hotel room had left.”
Emmie muttered something vicious and dropped down into her chair once more. “Lana, I know that your feelings run deep for Drake. But, honey, you two are just friends. He is going to screw around from time to time.”
I met her gaze. “Like Nik screwed around while you two were just friends?” She flinched and I nodded. “How did that feel, Em? How did it feel knowing that the man you were in love with was off fucking someone else?”
Her green eyes darkened, and I was sure that I was going to get an earful because really that had been a bitch move. Instead, Emmie only nodded after a long pause. “Touché,” she said. “I understand where you are coming from, but…”
“No buts!” I cried. “He was fucking her against the door that separated our rooms. I heard her moaning. I had to listen while he…” Tears scalded my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away. “Maybe you think that I’m being a coward for running away, but right now I really don’t give a flying fuck. I’m not as strong as you! I can’t do this and not crack. I can’t stay here and pretend that he didn’t shatter my heart last night.”
Emmie sat there, just looking at me. I didn’t know what was going through her head, but I was sure she was trying to come up with something to excuse Drake’s behavior the night before. Maybe it would have made me stop and rethink my decision. Maybe I would have listened and not make her put everything into motion so I could leave as soon as possible.
But then again, she didn’t know about Friday night…
“Okay.” Emmie surprised me by giving in without any more arguments. “I’ll start on it first thing tomorrow. I’ll get your dorm taken care of, set you up an allowance like Jesse said to, and maybe I can pull some strings and get you moved in early. Maybe some time away will put everything into perspective for everyone.”
I let out a relieved sigh. If Emmie was on board, then I knew that Jesse wouldn’t argue about my choice.
“But promise me something, Lana,” Emmie said after a moment. “Promise me that it’s only for one semester. Take this time away and get yourself pulled together. Then when summer starts, you come home. UCLA was what Jesse was hoping you would pick. It won’t take much to get you into the fall semester.”
I gave in and made the promise, but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep it. I didn’t know how Emmie expected me to “pull myself together” when my heart was in a billion pieces.
Chapter 8
Drake
Lana was avoiding me.
I knew that she had to study. She only had two more weeks of school left and her exams took up an entire week of that, but she didn’t have time to text me back or have dinner with me. I had no idea what was up with her, and it was driving me up the wall.
It didn’t actually bother me until one night midway through the week. Shane went out for his run and came back with Lana. They were walking, both of them sweating like they had run a marathon. I watched from the living room as Shane stopped on the patio and said something to her that made her chin tremble. My brother pulled her into his arms and hugged her.
When we all piled into the Escalade, I was relieved to find myself in the very back. When Shane and Emmie took up the middle row, I pressed my head against the cool glass of the window and closed my eyes, thankful that I wouldn’t have to be so close to Drake for the next five hours. When he finally slid into the front passenger seat, Nik pulled out into traffic and the long trip home began.
Everyone was quiet around me. Lucy was playing with her iPad while everyone else was doing what I was pretending to do. Drake’s snores made me glance up at one point to see him fast asleep. Shane muttered something under his breath about waking the dead, and I felt the slightest of smiles tease at my lips.
Emmie, seeing that I was awake turned in her seat enough to face me. “Jesse said that you will have an answer this week,” she whispered so she wouldn’t wake the baby.
I nodded, my eyes still on Drake. “I’d like to talk to you about it when we get home, actually.”
“Good. I can start the paperwork in the morning and get everything paid on time.” She smiled. “I’m really excited for you, Lana.”
Three bathroom stops and six miserable hours later, Nik pulled into the driveway in Malibu. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I grabbed my stuff and pulled Lucy toward the guest house. Emmie was going to have the new house decorated this week so we could be moved in by the weekend. Until then, I was sticking to the guesthouse.
“I’ll carry your cases in, Angel,” Drake called after me.
“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” I pushed Lucy faster. As soon as I had her settled, I grabbed the two piles of paper work that I had narrowed down from twelve the week before and rushed into the main house.
Emmie was pulling a bottle of water from the fridge when I found her. Something in my expression must have told her that she wasn’t going to like what I was going to do, but she didn’t say anything as she led me down the hall to her office and closed the door. “Sit down, Lana.” She sighed. “I have a feeling I’m going to need a drink after this,” she said half under her breath.
I had narrowed my choices down to two schools. Both had everything I wanted in a college. UCLA would have been my first choice—had been my first choice up until the night before. So I tore up the acceptance letter and handed over the one that was about to change my life.
Emmie muttered a curse when she looked down at the letter and the packet that had come with it. Green eyes flashed fire as she met my gaze. “Why?” she demanded.
“Because it’s where I need to be,” I whispered.
“You need to be here, close to everyone that loves you. Layla is going to go ape-shit over this, Lana!” She stood, glaring down at the packet that contained all the paper work she would have to deal with come morning. “Have you even thought this through? What will you do that far away? You will be all alone in a big city. No Layla, no Drake…” She broke off when she saw me flinch at the mention of his name. “Is this about Drake?”
I looked away. “I have thought this through, Em. In fact, I have done nothing but think about it since about three o’clock this morning. Around the time the girl that Drake brought to his hotel room had left.”
Emmie muttered something vicious and dropped down into her chair once more. “Lana, I know that your feelings run deep for Drake. But, honey, you two are just friends. He is going to screw around from time to time.”
I met her gaze. “Like Nik screwed around while you two were just friends?” She flinched and I nodded. “How did that feel, Em? How did it feel knowing that the man you were in love with was off fucking someone else?”
Her green eyes darkened, and I was sure that I was going to get an earful because really that had been a bitch move. Instead, Emmie only nodded after a long pause. “Touché,” she said. “I understand where you are coming from, but…”
“No buts!” I cried. “He was fucking her against the door that separated our rooms. I heard her moaning. I had to listen while he…” Tears scalded my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away. “Maybe you think that I’m being a coward for running away, but right now I really don’t give a flying fuck. I’m not as strong as you! I can’t do this and not crack. I can’t stay here and pretend that he didn’t shatter my heart last night.”
Emmie sat there, just looking at me. I didn’t know what was going through her head, but I was sure she was trying to come up with something to excuse Drake’s behavior the night before. Maybe it would have made me stop and rethink my decision. Maybe I would have listened and not make her put everything into motion so I could leave as soon as possible.
But then again, she didn’t know about Friday night…
“Okay.” Emmie surprised me by giving in without any more arguments. “I’ll start on it first thing tomorrow. I’ll get your dorm taken care of, set you up an allowance like Jesse said to, and maybe I can pull some strings and get you moved in early. Maybe some time away will put everything into perspective for everyone.”
I let out a relieved sigh. If Emmie was on board, then I knew that Jesse wouldn’t argue about my choice.
“But promise me something, Lana,” Emmie said after a moment. “Promise me that it’s only for one semester. Take this time away and get yourself pulled together. Then when summer starts, you come home. UCLA was what Jesse was hoping you would pick. It won’t take much to get you into the fall semester.”
I gave in and made the promise, but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep it. I didn’t know how Emmie expected me to “pull myself together” when my heart was in a billion pieces.
Chapter 8
Drake
Lana was avoiding me.
I knew that she had to study. She only had two more weeks of school left and her exams took up an entire week of that, but she didn’t have time to text me back or have dinner with me. I had no idea what was up with her, and it was driving me up the wall.
It didn’t actually bother me until one night midway through the week. Shane went out for his run and came back with Lana. They were walking, both of them sweating like they had run a marathon. I watched from the living room as Shane stopped on the patio and said something to her that made her chin tremble. My brother pulled her into his arms and hugged her.
