The Rocker Who Cherishes Me
Page 33
Bile rose in my throat and I turned away quickly before either could notice me. Tears burned my eyes as I ran across the parking lot and hailed another cab. Somehow I got out the name of the hotel we were staying in through the raking sobs shaking my body. The driver kept asking if I was okay, but I couldn’t answer him. I wasn’t.
I was definitely not okay and probably never would be again.
When the cab pulled up in front of the hotel, I tossed him all the cash I had in my pocket, not caring that the ride had cost less than twenty bucks, and I’d tossed him several hundred dollars. I stumbled out of the back and into the hotel where I was thankfully greeted by a different receptionist and was just barely able to get out what room I was in. “I lost my key,” I told her in a trembling voice.
I didn’t see the kindness in her eyes, didn’t see the few guests as they passed, giving me questioning and sympathetic glances. It took less than a minute to get the new key and I found my way up to the eighteenth floor through tear-filled eyes and locked myself in the unused bedroom in the suite I’d been sharing with Wroth. There was no way I could lie on the same bed where he had kissed me so tenderly, touched me and brought me untold pleasure just hours ago.
For weeks now we’d been sleeping in the same bed, touching intimately, kissing passionately—but never actually making love. I’d been on cloud nine, not even really questioning why Wroth wouldn’t let me touch him as he so often touched me. But now I did and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Just hours ago I’d begged him to let me taste him as he had been tasting me with his tongue. Instead of letting me, he had distracted me all over again as he had latched onto my sex with his talented mouth and brought me to yet another screaming release.
Shame washed over me, adding to my already breaking heart. He wouldn’t let me touch him, but he would let a stranger, some silicone Barbie doll wannabe suck his dick…? The tears poured faster, my sobs so hard they made my body feel as if it were being torn apart from the inside out.
Why didn’t he want me?
Wasn’t I good enough?
Wasn’t I beautiful enough?
For hours those thoughts filtered through my brain until I felt as if my head was going to explode. Wroth didn’t come back to our suite, not that I had expected him to. He was probably balls deep in Miss Bouncy Boobs. When the sun started shining through my window, I was still crying.
The phone beside my bed began ringing but I ignored it. If anyone needed me they would have called my cellphone. Sighing, I reached out, searching the bed beside me for it to check and see what time it was. When I couldn’t feel it, I checked my pockets and groaned when I realized I must have dropped it when I’d run away from the sight of Wroth and…
I rarely cursed but an entire rainbow of bad words left my mouth as I climbed out of bed. Figures I would lose my phone on top of everything else shitty that had happened the night before. Clenching my jaw, I decided I didn’t care that my phone was gone, or that the new case that was on it had been one that Wroth had given me. The one with the pair of glittery ruby slippers on it. It had been a small surprise just weeks ago because he knew that I loved all things Wizard of Oz.
No, I was glad it was gone, I decided as I climbed into the shower to wash away all outward traces of my brokenness.
I wasn’t ready to face anyone so I dressed and left the room. I walked the streets of Baltimore until I figured it was time to go over to the venue. Of course I’d heard that the streets of Baltimore were dangerous, but in that moment I didn’t care if something happened to me. If it did, it still wouldn’t hurt me as bad as what Wroth had done to me the night before.
I needed to help Harris with his homework and I was sure that Liam was going to be worried about me, so I finally hailed a cab. When I got there, no one even noticed that I’d been gone. They were all in a tizzy over the fight that Devlin and Zander had gotten into the night before.
For a moment I was able to push my own pain to the back of my mind and went in search of Natalie.
The deadness in her eyes was the only outward sign that Natalie wasn’t her normal self. She walked with her head held high, her shoulders straight, and her jaw clenched. Her face was pale, making those blue-gray eyes stand out even more in her beautiful face. As soon as I saw her, I wrapped my arms around her. “Are you okay?”
Natalie hugged me back, her arms tight around me for a moment before stepping back and giving me a grim smile. “I’ll get over it, but life goes on. He’s not the only man in the universe.”
“What happened?” I asked, having only heard that Zander had admitted to having a bet going on between Devlin and himself about who could have sex with Natalie first. Apparently a fight had broken out not long after and Natalie had been forced to call Emmie.
“They destroyed the club last night. I had to pay for ten grand in damages, not counting the booze they destroyed. So I had no choice but to call in the big guns since there were people who recognized Devlin and Zander and were recording the whole thing on their phones. Emmie will be here tonight, to clean up my mess.” Natalie’s chin started trembling but then she gritted her teeth together and shook her head. “Look, Rissa. I don’t want the reason for Dev and Z’s fight to get back to my brothers. I might hate the very sight of those two jackasses right now, but I don’t want them dead. Promise me you won’t say anything to anyone.”
If I had been Natalie, I would have called my brothers first and then helped pick out Devlin and Zander’s caskets. That she was protecting them showed how much stronger a person she was than me. Giving a nod, I promised her I wouldn’t say anything.
For the rest of the day I stayed in the dressing room with Harris, getting him caught up on school work so much that he finished a full week’s work in one afternoon. He didn’t seem to mind though, asking for another assignment each time we finished one. He was pissed off at his father for what he’d done to Natalie and needed the distraction of school just as much as I needed one.
Emmie arrived not long before OtherWorld was supposed to take the stage and I was glad for the added distraction of four-year-old Mia. I kept her entertained until it was time for bed and then tucked her in. After that I was left with nothing to do, since no one was awake to distract me and my pain came flooding back like a dam had been broken.
By some grace of God I had been able to avoid Wroth all day. I didn’t even want to look at him, but knew that a confrontation with him was inevitable. Liam came back to the bus first. He gave me a small smile when he saw me. The smile disappeared when he saw the look on my face. I’d started crying again not long after Mia had fallen asleep and I hadn’t been able to stop since that first damn tear had fallen.
I was definitely not okay and probably never would be again.
When the cab pulled up in front of the hotel, I tossed him all the cash I had in my pocket, not caring that the ride had cost less than twenty bucks, and I’d tossed him several hundred dollars. I stumbled out of the back and into the hotel where I was thankfully greeted by a different receptionist and was just barely able to get out what room I was in. “I lost my key,” I told her in a trembling voice.
I didn’t see the kindness in her eyes, didn’t see the few guests as they passed, giving me questioning and sympathetic glances. It took less than a minute to get the new key and I found my way up to the eighteenth floor through tear-filled eyes and locked myself in the unused bedroom in the suite I’d been sharing with Wroth. There was no way I could lie on the same bed where he had kissed me so tenderly, touched me and brought me untold pleasure just hours ago.
For weeks now we’d been sleeping in the same bed, touching intimately, kissing passionately—but never actually making love. I’d been on cloud nine, not even really questioning why Wroth wouldn’t let me touch him as he so often touched me. But now I did and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Just hours ago I’d begged him to let me taste him as he had been tasting me with his tongue. Instead of letting me, he had distracted me all over again as he had latched onto my sex with his talented mouth and brought me to yet another screaming release.
Shame washed over me, adding to my already breaking heart. He wouldn’t let me touch him, but he would let a stranger, some silicone Barbie doll wannabe suck his dick…? The tears poured faster, my sobs so hard they made my body feel as if it were being torn apart from the inside out.
Why didn’t he want me?
Wasn’t I good enough?
Wasn’t I beautiful enough?
For hours those thoughts filtered through my brain until I felt as if my head was going to explode. Wroth didn’t come back to our suite, not that I had expected him to. He was probably balls deep in Miss Bouncy Boobs. When the sun started shining through my window, I was still crying.
The phone beside my bed began ringing but I ignored it. If anyone needed me they would have called my cellphone. Sighing, I reached out, searching the bed beside me for it to check and see what time it was. When I couldn’t feel it, I checked my pockets and groaned when I realized I must have dropped it when I’d run away from the sight of Wroth and…
I rarely cursed but an entire rainbow of bad words left my mouth as I climbed out of bed. Figures I would lose my phone on top of everything else shitty that had happened the night before. Clenching my jaw, I decided I didn’t care that my phone was gone, or that the new case that was on it had been one that Wroth had given me. The one with the pair of glittery ruby slippers on it. It had been a small surprise just weeks ago because he knew that I loved all things Wizard of Oz.
No, I was glad it was gone, I decided as I climbed into the shower to wash away all outward traces of my brokenness.
I wasn’t ready to face anyone so I dressed and left the room. I walked the streets of Baltimore until I figured it was time to go over to the venue. Of course I’d heard that the streets of Baltimore were dangerous, but in that moment I didn’t care if something happened to me. If it did, it still wouldn’t hurt me as bad as what Wroth had done to me the night before.
I needed to help Harris with his homework and I was sure that Liam was going to be worried about me, so I finally hailed a cab. When I got there, no one even noticed that I’d been gone. They were all in a tizzy over the fight that Devlin and Zander had gotten into the night before.
For a moment I was able to push my own pain to the back of my mind and went in search of Natalie.
The deadness in her eyes was the only outward sign that Natalie wasn’t her normal self. She walked with her head held high, her shoulders straight, and her jaw clenched. Her face was pale, making those blue-gray eyes stand out even more in her beautiful face. As soon as I saw her, I wrapped my arms around her. “Are you okay?”
Natalie hugged me back, her arms tight around me for a moment before stepping back and giving me a grim smile. “I’ll get over it, but life goes on. He’s not the only man in the universe.”
“What happened?” I asked, having only heard that Zander had admitted to having a bet going on between Devlin and himself about who could have sex with Natalie first. Apparently a fight had broken out not long after and Natalie had been forced to call Emmie.
“They destroyed the club last night. I had to pay for ten grand in damages, not counting the booze they destroyed. So I had no choice but to call in the big guns since there were people who recognized Devlin and Zander and were recording the whole thing on their phones. Emmie will be here tonight, to clean up my mess.” Natalie’s chin started trembling but then she gritted her teeth together and shook her head. “Look, Rissa. I don’t want the reason for Dev and Z’s fight to get back to my brothers. I might hate the very sight of those two jackasses right now, but I don’t want them dead. Promise me you won’t say anything to anyone.”
If I had been Natalie, I would have called my brothers first and then helped pick out Devlin and Zander’s caskets. That she was protecting them showed how much stronger a person she was than me. Giving a nod, I promised her I wouldn’t say anything.
For the rest of the day I stayed in the dressing room with Harris, getting him caught up on school work so much that he finished a full week’s work in one afternoon. He didn’t seem to mind though, asking for another assignment each time we finished one. He was pissed off at his father for what he’d done to Natalie and needed the distraction of school just as much as I needed one.
Emmie arrived not long before OtherWorld was supposed to take the stage and I was glad for the added distraction of four-year-old Mia. I kept her entertained until it was time for bed and then tucked her in. After that I was left with nothing to do, since no one was awake to distract me and my pain came flooding back like a dam had been broken.
By some grace of God I had been able to avoid Wroth all day. I didn’t even want to look at him, but knew that a confrontation with him was inevitable. Liam came back to the bus first. He gave me a small smile when he saw me. The smile disappeared when he saw the look on my face. I’d started crying again not long after Mia had fallen asleep and I hadn’t been able to stop since that first damn tear had fallen.
