The Rocker Who Shatters Me
Page 28
Linc placed a cool, damp cloth over my face and I sighed as it eased some of my discomfort. Cuddling the little tiger closer, I closed my eyes and let the meds take effect.
Devlin
Like a pathetic fool, I knocked on the bathroom door again, my heart twisting like a fuck pretzel as I heard her sobbing. I didn’t understand why she was so upset. What had just happened between us back in that little alcove had been amazing. My spine was still tingling from the force of my release.
With a curse, I punched the wall behind me. It didn’t give and my knuckles started to ache almost instantly. The pain calmed me a little, though. I felt as if I deserved it for making Natalie cry. Another sob carried through the door, making my heart bleed with the emotional pain she was in.
All I wanted was to talk to her. Something that we should have done a long time ago. Nat kept running away, though, making it impossible to talk about what really needed to be said. I could understand why she continued to avoid the much needed conversation. I’d hurt her deeply with that fucking bet. Shattered her, made her think that she meant nothing to me.
I should have manned up long before Zander had spilled the beans about the bet. I should have simply told her that I loved her. If I had, then when the news about the bet had come to light she probably wouldn’t have been as hurt and we might have still been together. If I was honest with myself, I was just as childish and cowardly as I’d accused Natalie of being in the past.
‘I love you’ didn’t come easily to my lips. My dad had never said the words to me, and my mother had been long gone by the time I was old enough to have memories. I was two when she decided that she didn’t want to be the wife and mother of the local mechanic. Instead she’d run off with some businessman from Nashville and now had three step-kids and a daughter. The bitch hadn’t wanted anything to do with me when I was a kid, but as soon as OtherWorld had made it big that had all changed. She’d even offered to leave her new family to come back into my life. I was suddenly famous, so it was okay to love me then.
I’d told her to take her love and shove it, then kicked her out of my apartment. She’d been a greedy, fame-hungry reaper and I hadn’t been in the mood to be used.
It wasn’t until Harris’s mother died and he came to live with me fulltime that I’d started to tell my son that I loved him. Up till then I’d been a kid myself. I’d been angry at Tawny for ruining my friendship with Liam, a man I’d considered more of a brother and friend than I had Zander at that point in my life. That bitch had turned us against each other, and then dropped a kid in my lap.
None of that, however, should have kept me from telling the woman I loved how I felt. That was just me being a pussy. Now I had to fight to get her back and so far nothing I’d done had helped. If anything I’d done nothing but push her further away.
The sound of someone clearing their throat behind me made my back stiffen. If it was Rhett Fucking Tomlinson I was going to beat him to death. Slowly I turned and found Linc standing there with his huge-ass arms over his thick chest. Well, at least it wasn’t the other rocker.
“What?” I thrust my hands into my front pockets, meeting Natalie’s best friend’s eyes without flinching.
Linc nodded his head at the door behind me. “She okay?”
I grimaced. “Fuck if I know. She won’t talk to me.”
“I’m sure that fucking her brains out really helped.” I went cold at his words. My eyes must have been asking the question that was suddenly prominent in my mind, because he gave me a killer glare. “Yeah, I got a great show a while ago. I followed the two of you to make sure she was okay. When she started making those little sounds she always makes when you two are going at it, I walked away.”
My jaw clenched. I wanted to punch the muscle-head in the face, but knew I’d probably break my hand on his chin. “Look—”
Linc took a menacing step closer. “No, drummer boy, you look. I don’t know what your usual deal is, but Natalie is the type of chick that when it comes to public sex like that, she’s going to feel cheap. You two have done it in the past…” I opened my mouth to demand how he knew that shit, but he stopped me. “She told me, idiot. I know about the bathroom in Charlotte, and the hot tub in Huntington. And I know how ashamed she was afterwards.”
“Ashamed?” I repeated stupidly. “She has nothing to be ashamed of. That was two people who couldn’t contain their need for each other. There is nothing shameful in that.”
The muscle-head shrugged. “In her eyes it is. It makes her feel like some slutty groupie. So for future reference, you might want to avoid the public forum of showing her how much you want her.” He took another step closer and leaned against the wall. “I’m not saying don’t kiss her or PDA shit like that. Just stop fucking her in dark corners.”
My eyes widened. Was the muscle-head actually giving me advice? Why would he do that when he’d made it obvious often enough how much he hated me for hurting Natalie in the last year? “What’s your angle here, muscle-head?”
The physical trainer rolled his eyes. “Maybe I just want her to be happy. She might hate you, but she still loves you. I could offer you a hell of a lot more advice, but for now that’s all you get.” He inclined his head toward the door again. “She’s not going to want to see you when she’s done in there. Go get another drink, man. I’ll sort Nat out.”
“She and I need to talk.” I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to be right there when she came out of the bathroom. Wanted to wrap my arms around her and simply hold her. Yet I knew that what Linc said was the truth. Natalie wasn’t going to want to see me. I had to accept that for tonight. I trusted Linc to take care of my girl. If she wouldn’t let me comfort her, then Linc was the only man I would want to fill my place.
“There is always tomorrow, man.”
Blowing out a frustrated sigh, I raked my hair back from my face and nodded. “Yeah, tomorrow.”
Reluctantly I left him there to wait on Natalie while I went back into the VIP lounge. I went straight to the bar and ordered another bourbon, but a single this time. I swallowed it in one gulp and then ordered nothing but water the rest of the night.
It was nearly four in the morning by the time we made it back to the buses in the limo we’d come in. Natalie and Linc never did come back and Rhett and Marissa had left an hour or so before us, so I could only assume they’d taken a cab. When we got back to the buses, Linc was sitting in the living room watching some indie movie. When Zander made a loud whooping sound as he walked onto the bus behind me and the others, Linc threw the remote at him.
Devlin
Like a pathetic fool, I knocked on the bathroom door again, my heart twisting like a fuck pretzel as I heard her sobbing. I didn’t understand why she was so upset. What had just happened between us back in that little alcove had been amazing. My spine was still tingling from the force of my release.
With a curse, I punched the wall behind me. It didn’t give and my knuckles started to ache almost instantly. The pain calmed me a little, though. I felt as if I deserved it for making Natalie cry. Another sob carried through the door, making my heart bleed with the emotional pain she was in.
All I wanted was to talk to her. Something that we should have done a long time ago. Nat kept running away, though, making it impossible to talk about what really needed to be said. I could understand why she continued to avoid the much needed conversation. I’d hurt her deeply with that fucking bet. Shattered her, made her think that she meant nothing to me.
I should have manned up long before Zander had spilled the beans about the bet. I should have simply told her that I loved her. If I had, then when the news about the bet had come to light she probably wouldn’t have been as hurt and we might have still been together. If I was honest with myself, I was just as childish and cowardly as I’d accused Natalie of being in the past.
‘I love you’ didn’t come easily to my lips. My dad had never said the words to me, and my mother had been long gone by the time I was old enough to have memories. I was two when she decided that she didn’t want to be the wife and mother of the local mechanic. Instead she’d run off with some businessman from Nashville and now had three step-kids and a daughter. The bitch hadn’t wanted anything to do with me when I was a kid, but as soon as OtherWorld had made it big that had all changed. She’d even offered to leave her new family to come back into my life. I was suddenly famous, so it was okay to love me then.
I’d told her to take her love and shove it, then kicked her out of my apartment. She’d been a greedy, fame-hungry reaper and I hadn’t been in the mood to be used.
It wasn’t until Harris’s mother died and he came to live with me fulltime that I’d started to tell my son that I loved him. Up till then I’d been a kid myself. I’d been angry at Tawny for ruining my friendship with Liam, a man I’d considered more of a brother and friend than I had Zander at that point in my life. That bitch had turned us against each other, and then dropped a kid in my lap.
None of that, however, should have kept me from telling the woman I loved how I felt. That was just me being a pussy. Now I had to fight to get her back and so far nothing I’d done had helped. If anything I’d done nothing but push her further away.
The sound of someone clearing their throat behind me made my back stiffen. If it was Rhett Fucking Tomlinson I was going to beat him to death. Slowly I turned and found Linc standing there with his huge-ass arms over his thick chest. Well, at least it wasn’t the other rocker.
“What?” I thrust my hands into my front pockets, meeting Natalie’s best friend’s eyes without flinching.
Linc nodded his head at the door behind me. “She okay?”
I grimaced. “Fuck if I know. She won’t talk to me.”
“I’m sure that fucking her brains out really helped.” I went cold at his words. My eyes must have been asking the question that was suddenly prominent in my mind, because he gave me a killer glare. “Yeah, I got a great show a while ago. I followed the two of you to make sure she was okay. When she started making those little sounds she always makes when you two are going at it, I walked away.”
My jaw clenched. I wanted to punch the muscle-head in the face, but knew I’d probably break my hand on his chin. “Look—”
Linc took a menacing step closer. “No, drummer boy, you look. I don’t know what your usual deal is, but Natalie is the type of chick that when it comes to public sex like that, she’s going to feel cheap. You two have done it in the past…” I opened my mouth to demand how he knew that shit, but he stopped me. “She told me, idiot. I know about the bathroom in Charlotte, and the hot tub in Huntington. And I know how ashamed she was afterwards.”
“Ashamed?” I repeated stupidly. “She has nothing to be ashamed of. That was two people who couldn’t contain their need for each other. There is nothing shameful in that.”
The muscle-head shrugged. “In her eyes it is. It makes her feel like some slutty groupie. So for future reference, you might want to avoid the public forum of showing her how much you want her.” He took another step closer and leaned against the wall. “I’m not saying don’t kiss her or PDA shit like that. Just stop fucking her in dark corners.”
My eyes widened. Was the muscle-head actually giving me advice? Why would he do that when he’d made it obvious often enough how much he hated me for hurting Natalie in the last year? “What’s your angle here, muscle-head?”
The physical trainer rolled his eyes. “Maybe I just want her to be happy. She might hate you, but she still loves you. I could offer you a hell of a lot more advice, but for now that’s all you get.” He inclined his head toward the door again. “She’s not going to want to see you when she’s done in there. Go get another drink, man. I’ll sort Nat out.”
“She and I need to talk.” I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to be right there when she came out of the bathroom. Wanted to wrap my arms around her and simply hold her. Yet I knew that what Linc said was the truth. Natalie wasn’t going to want to see me. I had to accept that for tonight. I trusted Linc to take care of my girl. If she wouldn’t let me comfort her, then Linc was the only man I would want to fill my place.
“There is always tomorrow, man.”
Blowing out a frustrated sigh, I raked my hair back from my face and nodded. “Yeah, tomorrow.”
Reluctantly I left him there to wait on Natalie while I went back into the VIP lounge. I went straight to the bar and ordered another bourbon, but a single this time. I swallowed it in one gulp and then ordered nothing but water the rest of the night.
It was nearly four in the morning by the time we made it back to the buses in the limo we’d come in. Natalie and Linc never did come back and Rhett and Marissa had left an hour or so before us, so I could only assume they’d taken a cab. When we got back to the buses, Linc was sitting in the living room watching some indie movie. When Zander made a loud whooping sound as he walked onto the bus behind me and the others, Linc threw the remote at him.
