The Rosie Effect
Page 72
Rosie had been in the car when her mother was killed and Phil badly injured. It would seem reasonable that confronting the injuries of others might stimulate traumatic memories. But she had never said anything to me.
Inge asked to see me urgently on the Monday morning after the party, then offered to buy me coffee. ‘It’s more of a personal matter,’ she said.
I can see no logical reason why personal and social topics need to be discussed in a café and accompanied by beverages, whereas research topics can be discussed in both the work environment and in cafés. But we changed location and purchased coffee to enable the conversation to begin.
‘You were right about Gene. I should have listened to you.’
‘He attempted to seduce you?’
‘Worse. He says he’s in love with me.’
‘And that emotion is not reciprocated?’
‘Of course not. He’s older than my father. I thought of him as a mentor, and he treated me like an equal. But I never did anything to suggest... I can’t believe he got it so wrong. I can’t believe I got it so wrong.’
In the evening, I knocked on Rosie’s door and entered. I had expected she would be performing some task at her computer, but she was lying on the mattress. There was no book visible. The lack of distractions created an ideal opportunity to raise an important topic.
‘Mai told me there was some problem with clinical activities. A phobia about patient contact. Is this correct?’
‘Fuck. I told you, I’m dropping the medical program. The reasons don’t matter.’
‘You said you were deferring. David Borenstein—’
‘Fuck David Borenstein. I am deferring. Who knows, I may go back, I may not. Right now I’m a bit busy with exams and having a baby.’
‘Obviously if there is some obstacle preventing you from achieving a goal, you should investigate methods for overcoming it.’
I could empathise with Rosie, and was in a position to help. I had faced an almost identical situation when I switched my studies from computers to genetics. My revulsion at handling animals increased in proportion to the size of the animal. It was irrational but felt instinctual, hence difficult to overcome.
I undertook hypnotherapy, but attributed my cure to the Cat Rescue Incident, in which it had been necessary to save a housemate’s kitten which had jumped into the toilet—a doubly unpleasant task. I learned that I could create an intellectual separation from the physical sensation in an emergency. Once I knew the brain configuration, I was able to reproduce it well enough to dissect mice and assist in the delivery of a calf. I was confident that I could function in a medical emergency, and that I could coach Rosie to do so too.
I began to explain, but she stopped me. ‘Forget it, please. If I wanted to do it enough, I’d sort it out. I’m just not that interested.’
‘Do you want to see a play? Tonight?’
‘What play?’
‘It’s a surprise.’
‘So you haven’t bought tickets or anything. Haven’t you got stuff…scheduled?’
‘I’ve scheduled a play. For both of us. As a couple.’
‘Sorry, Don.’
I saw Gene next. He was also in his room lying on the bed. Our household was aggregately depressed.
‘Don’t say anything,’ he said. ‘Inge spoke to you, right?’
Gene had asked me not to speak, then asked a question that required me to answer. I decided that the latter overrode the former.
‘Correct.’
‘Christ, how do I face her? I’ve been a complete idiot.’
‘Correct. Fortunately she has been similarly imperceptive in failing to note that your interactions with her were aimed at seduction. I recommend—’
‘It’s okay, Don, I don’t need your advice on etiquette.’
‘Incorrect. I’m extremely experienced at dealing with embarrassment resulting from insensitivity to others. I’m an expert. I recommend an apology and admission that you are a klutz. I have recommended to her that she apologise for not making her position clear. She is similarly embarrassed. Nobody else knows except me.’
‘Thanks. Appreciate it.’
‘Do you want to go to a play? I have tickets,’ I said.
‘No, I’ll stay in, I think.’
‘Bad decision. You should come to the play with me. Otherwise you’ll reflect on your error but make zero progress.’
‘All right. What time?’
Don Tillman. Counsellor.
Before leaving, I prepared a meal for Rosie and put the other two serves in the fridge for Gene and me to eat later. I had a minor problem with managing the cling wrap, as a result of poor dispenser design. Rosie got up from the table and pulled out a new sheet.
‘I can’t believe you can’t manage cling wrap. How would you ever fold a nappy? Can’t you just be normal about some things?’ She turned around. Gene had joined us from his bedroom. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Forget I said it. I just get frustrated sometimes because you have to do everything differently.’
‘No, he doesn’t,’ said Gene. ‘Don’s not the only man who has trouble with cling wrap. Or can’t find things in the fridge. I remember your friend Stefan back in Melbourne throwing a wobbly over someone stealing the sugar from the tearoom. He went on for about five minutes, and by the time he’d finished half the department was standing there, all looking at the sugar bowl, right in front of him.’
Inge asked to see me urgently on the Monday morning after the party, then offered to buy me coffee. ‘It’s more of a personal matter,’ she said.
I can see no logical reason why personal and social topics need to be discussed in a café and accompanied by beverages, whereas research topics can be discussed in both the work environment and in cafés. But we changed location and purchased coffee to enable the conversation to begin.
‘You were right about Gene. I should have listened to you.’
‘He attempted to seduce you?’
‘Worse. He says he’s in love with me.’
‘And that emotion is not reciprocated?’
‘Of course not. He’s older than my father. I thought of him as a mentor, and he treated me like an equal. But I never did anything to suggest... I can’t believe he got it so wrong. I can’t believe I got it so wrong.’
In the evening, I knocked on Rosie’s door and entered. I had expected she would be performing some task at her computer, but she was lying on the mattress. There was no book visible. The lack of distractions created an ideal opportunity to raise an important topic.
‘Mai told me there was some problem with clinical activities. A phobia about patient contact. Is this correct?’
‘Fuck. I told you, I’m dropping the medical program. The reasons don’t matter.’
‘You said you were deferring. David Borenstein—’
‘Fuck David Borenstein. I am deferring. Who knows, I may go back, I may not. Right now I’m a bit busy with exams and having a baby.’
‘Obviously if there is some obstacle preventing you from achieving a goal, you should investigate methods for overcoming it.’
I could empathise with Rosie, and was in a position to help. I had faced an almost identical situation when I switched my studies from computers to genetics. My revulsion at handling animals increased in proportion to the size of the animal. It was irrational but felt instinctual, hence difficult to overcome.
I undertook hypnotherapy, but attributed my cure to the Cat Rescue Incident, in which it had been necessary to save a housemate’s kitten which had jumped into the toilet—a doubly unpleasant task. I learned that I could create an intellectual separation from the physical sensation in an emergency. Once I knew the brain configuration, I was able to reproduce it well enough to dissect mice and assist in the delivery of a calf. I was confident that I could function in a medical emergency, and that I could coach Rosie to do so too.
I began to explain, but she stopped me. ‘Forget it, please. If I wanted to do it enough, I’d sort it out. I’m just not that interested.’
‘Do you want to see a play? Tonight?’
‘What play?’
‘It’s a surprise.’
‘So you haven’t bought tickets or anything. Haven’t you got stuff…scheduled?’
‘I’ve scheduled a play. For both of us. As a couple.’
‘Sorry, Don.’
I saw Gene next. He was also in his room lying on the bed. Our household was aggregately depressed.
‘Don’t say anything,’ he said. ‘Inge spoke to you, right?’
Gene had asked me not to speak, then asked a question that required me to answer. I decided that the latter overrode the former.
‘Correct.’
‘Christ, how do I face her? I’ve been a complete idiot.’
‘Correct. Fortunately she has been similarly imperceptive in failing to note that your interactions with her were aimed at seduction. I recommend—’
‘It’s okay, Don, I don’t need your advice on etiquette.’
‘Incorrect. I’m extremely experienced at dealing with embarrassment resulting from insensitivity to others. I’m an expert. I recommend an apology and admission that you are a klutz. I have recommended to her that she apologise for not making her position clear. She is similarly embarrassed. Nobody else knows except me.’
‘Thanks. Appreciate it.’
‘Do you want to go to a play? I have tickets,’ I said.
‘No, I’ll stay in, I think.’
‘Bad decision. You should come to the play with me. Otherwise you’ll reflect on your error but make zero progress.’
‘All right. What time?’
Don Tillman. Counsellor.
Before leaving, I prepared a meal for Rosie and put the other two serves in the fridge for Gene and me to eat later. I had a minor problem with managing the cling wrap, as a result of poor dispenser design. Rosie got up from the table and pulled out a new sheet.
‘I can’t believe you can’t manage cling wrap. How would you ever fold a nappy? Can’t you just be normal about some things?’ She turned around. Gene had joined us from his bedroom. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Forget I said it. I just get frustrated sometimes because you have to do everything differently.’
‘No, he doesn’t,’ said Gene. ‘Don’s not the only man who has trouble with cling wrap. Or can’t find things in the fridge. I remember your friend Stefan back in Melbourne throwing a wobbly over someone stealing the sugar from the tearoom. He went on for about five minutes, and by the time he’d finished half the department was standing there, all looking at the sugar bowl, right in front of him.’
