The Season
Page 57
“Need I remind you that Baron Montgrave was skulking around the house just moments ago? Where was Bow Street then?”
“I thought you couldn’t be sure it was Montgrave?” he asked, evading her question.
“I can’t be. But I feel that it’s better we are safe than sorry in this particular situation. I shan’t be inviting the baron to tea any time soon.”
“Alex. First, if indeed it was the baron, I assure you I could have easily held my own.” He ignored her rolling eyes. “Second, there is no we in this situation. Part of the reason you were not apprised of this situation is because we all preferred you not know, as we understand you and Ella and Vivi more than you think. We knew that once you got wind of this, you would find it difficult to stay out of it. That said, I want you to remain out of it. Thoroughly out of it. This is no game.”
“I know this is no game, Gavin. I’m not a child. And I cannot simply stay out of it. It’s too late for that.”
“No, it’s not. I want you to pretend you didn’t hear what you heard this evening. If ever there was a time for you to be a delicate flower, now is it. Is that understood?” He didn’t wait for her answer. “Good. As it is, I should turn you over my knee for traipsing about in the darkness, but I shall refrain, because I cannot deny the fact that I’m rather happy you’re here.”
She opened her mouth to argue and he stopped her with a raised hand. “You see, I have rather a lot to say. I’m sorry that I hurt you earlier. I never meant for you to believe that I think kissing you was a mistake. In fact, if you asked me what I’ve wanted more than anything in the last week, what I want more than anything right now, I would answer, without question, not that I want to find the burglar who ransacked my home—not that I want to know the truth about my father’s death—but that I want you.”
She felt his gaze hot on her face as he continued, “I didn’t use the term ‘mistake’ because of you. Never because of you. I used it because your brothers are the closest things I have to brothers, your father”—he paused, then pressed on—“the closest thing I have to a father now. They all trust me with you. They believe that you are safe with me. My behavior toward you is a betrayal of that trust. And a betrayal of your trust as well.”
Distracted by his impassioned words, she asked, “Why a betrayal of my trust? I do trust you. Still. I trust you to be the same Gavin you’ve always been.”
“That’s the problem. The feelings that I have for you now are nothing like the ones I’ve always had. I’m not the same Gavin. I used to think of you as my friend. Now I think of you as something…more.”
She wanted desperately to ask him to elaborate on his statement, but first, she had to know whether it was her specifically or rather the idea of her which was driving him to make such a confession. She blurted, “Are you planning to offer for Penelope Grayson’s hand?”
The words were out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying. She dipped her chin, a blush spreading across her cheeks. She had no idea why she had asked such an inappropriate question. More than that, she had a sudden intense dread of his answer.
If she had been looking at his face, she would have seen the look of shock that passed over it and known his answer before he spoke it. “No. Alex. No, I have never intended to propose to Penelope. She’s very beautiful, but…” He paused. “She’s not you.”
Her eyes flew to meet his as she realized just how monumental this moment—that statement—was.
“I confess, earlier in the season, I had plans to court Penelope. She seemed the ideal…candidate.”
“Charming sentiment,” Alex said, adding, “It’s incredible that men think of finding a wife in the same vein as electing a politician.”
Ignoring her pontification, he continued, “However…that’s all changed now. I can’t imagine being with Penelope. Because I seem only to be able to imagine being with you.”
Attempting to ignore the lurch in her stomach that occurred in response to those words, she asked, “What does that mean?”
“It means that you’ve become the standard to which I hold all the other women in my life. Are they as humorous as you, as easy to speak with, as charming, as witty, as…” He stopped.
“Go on,” she prodded.
He smiled at her shameless ploy for more compliments. “As wonderful as you. As clever. As beautiful.”
She blushed shyly. “I’m not beautiful.”
“Yes, love, you are.” He stepped closer to her, pulling her close and tracing the curve of her cheek. “So beautiful that I rather wonder how I could have missed it before this season.”
And, with that, he kissed her. She lost all her strength as his lips played over hers, but he held her in his strong arms without any difficulty. She lifted her hands to run them through his soft hair before wrapping her arms around his neck and giving in to the sheer pleasure of the moment.
After several minutes, he lifted his head and their eyes met. Neither of them could keep the broad smiles from their faces. Alex spoke, unable to keep her feelings quiet after his bold confession. “Gavin…I’ve never felt anything like this. You’ll never be my friend again, never my surrogate brother. If I am the standard to which you hold the women in your life…then you are more than that for the men in mine. How will I ever find someone to compare to you? You, with your bold smiles and your brilliant mind and your handsome face…” She touched his cheek, running her fingers along his jaw. “You have quite ruined me for all others.”
“I thought you couldn’t be sure it was Montgrave?” he asked, evading her question.
“I can’t be. But I feel that it’s better we are safe than sorry in this particular situation. I shan’t be inviting the baron to tea any time soon.”
“Alex. First, if indeed it was the baron, I assure you I could have easily held my own.” He ignored her rolling eyes. “Second, there is no we in this situation. Part of the reason you were not apprised of this situation is because we all preferred you not know, as we understand you and Ella and Vivi more than you think. We knew that once you got wind of this, you would find it difficult to stay out of it. That said, I want you to remain out of it. Thoroughly out of it. This is no game.”
“I know this is no game, Gavin. I’m not a child. And I cannot simply stay out of it. It’s too late for that.”
“No, it’s not. I want you to pretend you didn’t hear what you heard this evening. If ever there was a time for you to be a delicate flower, now is it. Is that understood?” He didn’t wait for her answer. “Good. As it is, I should turn you over my knee for traipsing about in the darkness, but I shall refrain, because I cannot deny the fact that I’m rather happy you’re here.”
She opened her mouth to argue and he stopped her with a raised hand. “You see, I have rather a lot to say. I’m sorry that I hurt you earlier. I never meant for you to believe that I think kissing you was a mistake. In fact, if you asked me what I’ve wanted more than anything in the last week, what I want more than anything right now, I would answer, without question, not that I want to find the burglar who ransacked my home—not that I want to know the truth about my father’s death—but that I want you.”
She felt his gaze hot on her face as he continued, “I didn’t use the term ‘mistake’ because of you. Never because of you. I used it because your brothers are the closest things I have to brothers, your father”—he paused, then pressed on—“the closest thing I have to a father now. They all trust me with you. They believe that you are safe with me. My behavior toward you is a betrayal of that trust. And a betrayal of your trust as well.”
Distracted by his impassioned words, she asked, “Why a betrayal of my trust? I do trust you. Still. I trust you to be the same Gavin you’ve always been.”
“That’s the problem. The feelings that I have for you now are nothing like the ones I’ve always had. I’m not the same Gavin. I used to think of you as my friend. Now I think of you as something…more.”
She wanted desperately to ask him to elaborate on his statement, but first, she had to know whether it was her specifically or rather the idea of her which was driving him to make such a confession. She blurted, “Are you planning to offer for Penelope Grayson’s hand?”
The words were out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying. She dipped her chin, a blush spreading across her cheeks. She had no idea why she had asked such an inappropriate question. More than that, she had a sudden intense dread of his answer.
If she had been looking at his face, she would have seen the look of shock that passed over it and known his answer before he spoke it. “No. Alex. No, I have never intended to propose to Penelope. She’s very beautiful, but…” He paused. “She’s not you.”
Her eyes flew to meet his as she realized just how monumental this moment—that statement—was.
“I confess, earlier in the season, I had plans to court Penelope. She seemed the ideal…candidate.”
“Charming sentiment,” Alex said, adding, “It’s incredible that men think of finding a wife in the same vein as electing a politician.”
Ignoring her pontification, he continued, “However…that’s all changed now. I can’t imagine being with Penelope. Because I seem only to be able to imagine being with you.”
Attempting to ignore the lurch in her stomach that occurred in response to those words, she asked, “What does that mean?”
“It means that you’ve become the standard to which I hold all the other women in my life. Are they as humorous as you, as easy to speak with, as charming, as witty, as…” He stopped.
“Go on,” she prodded.
He smiled at her shameless ploy for more compliments. “As wonderful as you. As clever. As beautiful.”
She blushed shyly. “I’m not beautiful.”
“Yes, love, you are.” He stepped closer to her, pulling her close and tracing the curve of her cheek. “So beautiful that I rather wonder how I could have missed it before this season.”
And, with that, he kissed her. She lost all her strength as his lips played over hers, but he held her in his strong arms without any difficulty. She lifted her hands to run them through his soft hair before wrapping her arms around his neck and giving in to the sheer pleasure of the moment.
After several minutes, he lifted his head and their eyes met. Neither of them could keep the broad smiles from their faces. Alex spoke, unable to keep her feelings quiet after his bold confession. “Gavin…I’ve never felt anything like this. You’ll never be my friend again, never my surrogate brother. If I am the standard to which you hold the women in your life…then you are more than that for the men in mine. How will I ever find someone to compare to you? You, with your bold smiles and your brilliant mind and your handsome face…” She touched his cheek, running her fingers along his jaw. “You have quite ruined me for all others.”
