The Silent Waters
Page 56
The pain shot up my right side.
My breaths were sharp; my mind was blurred.
Drowning. I splashed for help while I swallowed water.
My right hand swung over to grip my side. Shit. Again.
The propeller struck me again.
Panic. My hand. My shoulder. My neck.
My life...
The waves forced me backward in the wild, harsh waters.
Lightning struck.
Thunder howled.
My best friends cried out for me, but I couldn’t reply.
It happened in a flash, in a rushed moment.
In point-one-second laughter transformed into horror.
In point-one-second my life shifted as I began to drown.
In point-one-second the waves tossed me as if I were nothing.
I became nothing.
“Maggie, come on! Hurry downstairs. We have to go.”
I raised an eyebrow at the calling of my name. I’d been sitting in my bedroom, playing the guitar and strumming along to The Crooks latest album. Standing up, I hurried to the top of the stairs to see a panicked Mrs. Boone.
I walked down each step and arched an eyebrow.
She was frantic, something I’d never seen her be. “Come on now, get some shoes on. Let’s go.”
Go? Go where?
“Maggie, please.” Mrs. Boone raced her hands back and forth on the metal bars of her walker. “There was an accident up at the cabin, and Brooks, he was hurt. We have to go.”
I stumbled backward, as if someone slammed me against the wall.
Brooks, he was hurt.
Those words drowned me. My mind started racing. How was he hurt? How hurt? What happened? How were the others?
Daddy came rushing out of the back room, and Mama came rushing in from the kitchen. They both held their cell phones, probably messages from Calvin.
“They took him to St. John’s hospital. He’s going into surgery,” Daddy said, his words fast and scared. “I’m heading up there.”
“Me too,” Mama claimed.
“And Maggie,” Mrs. Boone ordered. “She’s coming with us. Now come on,” she said, waving her hands at me. “We don’t have time to waste. That’s a long drive from here.”
“No,” Mama barked, her voice stern. “No. She doesn’t have to leave. She almost had a panic attack when she tried to leave to see you, Mrs. Boone.”
“But that was me, and I mean it’s sweet that she tried, but this is different. I’m not her person. I’m not her Brooks. Now come on.”
I shut my eyes.
Mama and Mrs. Boone started arguing, their voices growing louder and louder, and Daddy started shouting trying to calm them down. My heart was racing, trying to keep up with the commotion. My mind was trying its best to keep the devil at bay, as he kept trying to come out to find me.
Shh… Shh…
“Stop!” Mrs. Boone shouted, loud enough to force my eyes open. She slammed her walker against the ground over and over again. “Stop it! This is ridiculous. For the life of me, Katie, I can’t tell who’s more afraid of Maggie leaving, you or her.”
“You’re out of line, Mrs. Boone,” Mama scolded, yet still, her body shook. For a moment I wondered myself: did she want me to ever leave?
“Of course I’m out of line! I’ve always been out of line, ain’t nothing changed. But this isn’t about me. Now, Katie, I know you told me this girl right here is none of my business. You’ve told me that over and over again, but this is bigger than you, Katie. This is bigger than you, and Eric, and me. This is about Maggie and Brooks right now. Maggie May.” Mrs. Boone turned toward me, “if you can honestly tell yourself the demons of your past are louder than the love you have for that boy, then please forgive me. That means I have overstepped my boundaries and misread every moment I remember of the two of you. But if by chance that love is the loudest…if by chance that love is beginning to drown your soul, then you must leave. You must come with us right now. Brooks is a good boy, and he’s been your anchor for all these years. Now it’s your turn to be his.”
I rubbed my fists against my eyes as the three started arguing again.
Five minutes.
I held my hand up, and they all paused. I rushed upstairs, into the bathroom, and filled the sink up with water. I lowered my face into the water and held my breath.
I needed five minutes to slow down my mind. I needed five minutes to let go of their shouts and find my own voice.
I needed five minutes to breathe.
I saw his face—the devil. He was choking me, trying to kill me like he killed the woman. He was going to kill me.
“Shh…”
I lost myself.
He stole me from me in that moment alone.
I felt dirty.
I felt used.
I felt trapped.
It felt real. Each day, after all those years, it still felt so fresh. But as my face stayed in the water, I remembered even more.
“Maggie May! Where are you?” Brooks hollered again, his voice breaking the devil from his thoughts.
As my face stayed in the water, I remembered him. I remembered my Brooks.
“You’re my best friend, Magnet, but…” His lips grew closer, and I swore I felt them brush against my own. “What if she was right? What if Lacey was on to something? What if there was something more than friends between us?” he whispered again, his grip on my lower back getting tighter, pulling me closer. Our lips brushed against one another again, and my stomach knotted.
I pulled my head from the water, soaking wet, but knowing where I needed to be. I raced to my bedroom and grabbed my shoes.
“Maggie May, don’t do this,” Mama said, standing in my doorway. Her arms were crossed, and she stared at me with eyes glassed over. “Don’t leave.”
I narrowed my eyes, confused. She walked over to my bed and sat down, tapping the mattress for me to join her. I couldn’t even remember the last time Mama stood in my room, let alone sat down to talk to me.
“I’ll make sure he’s okay, I’ll make sure he’s getting better and knows you wished you could be there, Maggie, but please…don’t go.”
Reaching for my board, I began to write.
Why not?
She lowered her head and stared at her fidgeting fingers. “If you go…if you finally start moving on…how can I protect you? I didn’t even know you slipped out of the house all those years ago, because I was doing laundry. I was supposed to watch over you. I was supposed to keep you safe. And if you leave…if you go explore the world…how am I supposed to protect you?”
My breaths were sharp; my mind was blurred.
Drowning. I splashed for help while I swallowed water.
My right hand swung over to grip my side. Shit. Again.
The propeller struck me again.
Panic. My hand. My shoulder. My neck.
My life...
The waves forced me backward in the wild, harsh waters.
Lightning struck.
Thunder howled.
My best friends cried out for me, but I couldn’t reply.
It happened in a flash, in a rushed moment.
In point-one-second laughter transformed into horror.
In point-one-second my life shifted as I began to drown.
In point-one-second the waves tossed me as if I were nothing.
I became nothing.
“Maggie, come on! Hurry downstairs. We have to go.”
I raised an eyebrow at the calling of my name. I’d been sitting in my bedroom, playing the guitar and strumming along to The Crooks latest album. Standing up, I hurried to the top of the stairs to see a panicked Mrs. Boone.
I walked down each step and arched an eyebrow.
She was frantic, something I’d never seen her be. “Come on now, get some shoes on. Let’s go.”
Go? Go where?
“Maggie, please.” Mrs. Boone raced her hands back and forth on the metal bars of her walker. “There was an accident up at the cabin, and Brooks, he was hurt. We have to go.”
I stumbled backward, as if someone slammed me against the wall.
Brooks, he was hurt.
Those words drowned me. My mind started racing. How was he hurt? How hurt? What happened? How were the others?
Daddy came rushing out of the back room, and Mama came rushing in from the kitchen. They both held their cell phones, probably messages from Calvin.
“They took him to St. John’s hospital. He’s going into surgery,” Daddy said, his words fast and scared. “I’m heading up there.”
“Me too,” Mama claimed.
“And Maggie,” Mrs. Boone ordered. “She’s coming with us. Now come on,” she said, waving her hands at me. “We don’t have time to waste. That’s a long drive from here.”
“No,” Mama barked, her voice stern. “No. She doesn’t have to leave. She almost had a panic attack when she tried to leave to see you, Mrs. Boone.”
“But that was me, and I mean it’s sweet that she tried, but this is different. I’m not her person. I’m not her Brooks. Now come on.”
I shut my eyes.
Mama and Mrs. Boone started arguing, their voices growing louder and louder, and Daddy started shouting trying to calm them down. My heart was racing, trying to keep up with the commotion. My mind was trying its best to keep the devil at bay, as he kept trying to come out to find me.
Shh… Shh…
“Stop!” Mrs. Boone shouted, loud enough to force my eyes open. She slammed her walker against the ground over and over again. “Stop it! This is ridiculous. For the life of me, Katie, I can’t tell who’s more afraid of Maggie leaving, you or her.”
“You’re out of line, Mrs. Boone,” Mama scolded, yet still, her body shook. For a moment I wondered myself: did she want me to ever leave?
“Of course I’m out of line! I’ve always been out of line, ain’t nothing changed. But this isn’t about me. Now, Katie, I know you told me this girl right here is none of my business. You’ve told me that over and over again, but this is bigger than you, Katie. This is bigger than you, and Eric, and me. This is about Maggie and Brooks right now. Maggie May.” Mrs. Boone turned toward me, “if you can honestly tell yourself the demons of your past are louder than the love you have for that boy, then please forgive me. That means I have overstepped my boundaries and misread every moment I remember of the two of you. But if by chance that love is the loudest…if by chance that love is beginning to drown your soul, then you must leave. You must come with us right now. Brooks is a good boy, and he’s been your anchor for all these years. Now it’s your turn to be his.”
I rubbed my fists against my eyes as the three started arguing again.
Five minutes.
I held my hand up, and they all paused. I rushed upstairs, into the bathroom, and filled the sink up with water. I lowered my face into the water and held my breath.
I needed five minutes to slow down my mind. I needed five minutes to let go of their shouts and find my own voice.
I needed five minutes to breathe.
I saw his face—the devil. He was choking me, trying to kill me like he killed the woman. He was going to kill me.
“Shh…”
I lost myself.
He stole me from me in that moment alone.
I felt dirty.
I felt used.
I felt trapped.
It felt real. Each day, after all those years, it still felt so fresh. But as my face stayed in the water, I remembered even more.
“Maggie May! Where are you?” Brooks hollered again, his voice breaking the devil from his thoughts.
As my face stayed in the water, I remembered him. I remembered my Brooks.
“You’re my best friend, Magnet, but…” His lips grew closer, and I swore I felt them brush against my own. “What if she was right? What if Lacey was on to something? What if there was something more than friends between us?” he whispered again, his grip on my lower back getting tighter, pulling me closer. Our lips brushed against one another again, and my stomach knotted.
I pulled my head from the water, soaking wet, but knowing where I needed to be. I raced to my bedroom and grabbed my shoes.
“Maggie May, don’t do this,” Mama said, standing in my doorway. Her arms were crossed, and she stared at me with eyes glassed over. “Don’t leave.”
I narrowed my eyes, confused. She walked over to my bed and sat down, tapping the mattress for me to join her. I couldn’t even remember the last time Mama stood in my room, let alone sat down to talk to me.
“I’ll make sure he’s okay, I’ll make sure he’s getting better and knows you wished you could be there, Maggie, but please…don’t go.”
Reaching for my board, I began to write.
Why not?
She lowered her head and stared at her fidgeting fingers. “If you go…if you finally start moving on…how can I protect you? I didn’t even know you slipped out of the house all those years ago, because I was doing laundry. I was supposed to watch over you. I was supposed to keep you safe. And if you leave…if you go explore the world…how am I supposed to protect you?”
