The Struggle
Page 55
“Josie?” Her quiet voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “You’re starting to worry me.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. It’s just that . . .” I took a deep breath and pulled my big-girl undies up. “Do you know where I could get a . . . a pregnancy test?”
Alex tripped over her own feet. Throwing out a hand, she caught my arm before she went face-first into the pathway. Her wide-eyed gaze swung in my direction as she straightened. “Um. I . . . Wait. What?”
Cheeks burning a thousand shades of red, I glanced around. No one was near us. “I think . . . I think I might be pregnant.”
Her lips parted, forming a complete circle. Several seconds passed while she looked like a fish out of water.
I started to get super uncomfortable.
Alex seemed to recover, blinking once and then twice. “I’m sorry. That just totally caught me off-guard. Was not expecting that.”
“You and me both.” Lifting a hand, I pushed the hair out of my face. “I mean, we used protection except for that one time and I . . . Well, I don’t know if I’m just being crazy or what.”
Alex faced me. “I’m assuming you have real reasons to suspect the whole pregnancy thing?”
I nodded, deciding I really didn’t want to get into the whole Cora thing. “I just need to know if I am or not. Do you know if there is any way to get one here?”
“You’d have to go to the infirmary to get one.”
I cringed. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” A look of sympathy crossed her face. “They don’t sell the tests in the stores here because they like to keep track of who’s getting pregnant. Completely barbaric and an embarrassing violation of privacy, but unless we can leave here—which wouldn’t be smart—you’d have to get one done in the infirmary.”
“Oh, sweet baby Jesus,” I murmured under my breath.
Alex squeezed my arm. “Do you want to go now? I’ll go with you.”
What other choice did I have? Resigning myself to what I had to do, I sighed. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
She smiled tightly and then we started walking again, this time back toward the main buildings. “It would make sense.”
I glanced at her.
“You being sick,” she explained. “Maybe it’s not just the bands on your wrists.”
Feeling like I just might pass out, I was silent for a couple of minutes. “I just . . . I don’t know how I could be after what went down with Hyperion.”
Her sharp gaze found mine as we neared the square, one-story building that housed some of the training rooms and several nursing stations.
I looked away, focusing on the bronze-colored double doors ahead. “I fought him,” I said, pushing past the messy knot forming in the back of my throat. “I fought back and I . . . I didn’t win those fights.”
“I get it.” Alex reached down and took my hand, squeezing it. “I get what you’re saying.”
Wetness rushed my eyes and I blinked it away. “So I’m probably just overreacting.”
Alex let go of my hand and reached for the door. “Maybe.” There was a pause. “But you’re a demigod and Seth’s an Apollyon—or was. I have no idea what that would make a kid, but it’s probably a very strong one.”
I opened my mouth, but I had no words, because I hadn’t even begun to think about what kind of kid could be inside me—a kid that had a demigod and a god as a parent.
“Or it could just be weird cycles? That’s possible. I mean, who hasn’t thought they were pregnant before?” She tried to sound reassuring, because I figured the panicked expression on my face was pretty obvious. “I thought I was pregnant once and it turned out I had two lesser gods living inside me.”
I stared at her.
“Not that I’m saying you have gods inside you, but you know, it could be anything. Anyway . . .” She opened the door. “Let’s find out.”
In a daze, I followed Alex inside. I was too anxious to do much speaking as Alex found us a nurse and we were escorted into a small, minty-smelling room. There were no chairs in the room, only an examination table, and I didn’t want to sit on it since that seemed all too official.
The nurse, a pure-blood dressed in pale blue scrubs, closed the door behind her. She was an older lady with what I thought were pretty amazing amethyst-colored eyes. Turning to us with a clipboard in hand, those odd eyes bounced nervously between Alex and me.
I imagine she hadn’t been in the room with two demigods before.
Her smile was full of uncertainty. “How can I help you two?”
I started to look at Alex, but then I realized that I seriously needed to grow up and ask for the test. “I’m not a student here. I’m—”
“I know who you are—who both of you are,” the nurse spoke up. “I’m sure everyone at the University is aware of who both of you are.”
Having no idea if that was a good thing or not, I exhaled roughly. “I think I might be pregnant, so I was hoping I could take a test.”
The nurse’s expression didn’t change one iota. “Have you had the symptoms of pregnancy?”
I nodded. “I’m late and I’ve been . . . sick.” I didn’t feel like it was necessary to even bring the issue of the bands on my wrists into the equation. “I’ve had unprotected sex. Once,” I tacked on like that made a difference. “I really would like this to be private. I mean, the whole doctor-patient privilege thing still works, right?”
Alex snickered. “Privacy at the Covenant? Not likely, but I have a feeling she’s not going to want to piss off Apollo’s daughter.”
The skin around the nurse’s mouth tightened. “When I took the oath, I did so for everyone I treat. I am not—”
“ . . . like other pure-bloods,” Alex finished for her. “Got it. So this conversation and its potential results won’t leave this office?”
Damn girl, I thought.
“Right.” The nurse put the clipboard down. “We can do a simple urine test and then go from there. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good?” I said, glancing at Alex. She nodded.
The nurse reached into a cabinet and pulled out a small plastic cup with a lid. She scribbled “Jane” across the piece of tape. “Ready?”
I was showed where the nearest bathroom was, and I did the whole pee in the cup thing. That cup of potential doom was placed in a little window and then I went back to the windowless room where Alex was waiting.
Leaning against the wall, I smacked my hands over my face. It sort of hit me right then that this was really happening. There was a good chance I was pregnant and I was going to figure out what the hell that meant other than being pregnant. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Seth . . . doesn’t know, does he?” Alex asked.
“No,” I said from behind my hands. “It wasn’t something I really thought about until recently and I didn’t want to get him . . . worried?” I didn’t know how Seth would react. I didn’t know how I would react if that test came back positive. “I don’t know what he’d do or even think. It’s not exactly something we’ve talked about.”
Alex wrapped her fingers around my arms and pulled my hands from my face. “Honest? He’s probably going to be as shocked as you, but Seth loves you, Josie. He really does, and that is something amazing.”
My heart did a little jump. “I know.”
She gave a little shake of her head. “I don’t know if you really do.” Dropping her hands, she drew in a deep breath. “I never believed that Seth was capable of loving anyone more than he loved himself, but he does with you. And because of that, you shouldn’t be afraid of telling him if that test comes back positive.”
I tipped my head back against the wall. “Even if he’s a hundred percent okay with this, how can we do this? There is so much screwed up stuff going on right now, and I . . . I just don’t know.”
“You’ll figure something out. Trust me,” she said. “You will, because you’ll have to.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. It’s just that . . .” I took a deep breath and pulled my big-girl undies up. “Do you know where I could get a . . . a pregnancy test?”
Alex tripped over her own feet. Throwing out a hand, she caught my arm before she went face-first into the pathway. Her wide-eyed gaze swung in my direction as she straightened. “Um. I . . . Wait. What?”
Cheeks burning a thousand shades of red, I glanced around. No one was near us. “I think . . . I think I might be pregnant.”
Her lips parted, forming a complete circle. Several seconds passed while she looked like a fish out of water.
I started to get super uncomfortable.
Alex seemed to recover, blinking once and then twice. “I’m sorry. That just totally caught me off-guard. Was not expecting that.”
“You and me both.” Lifting a hand, I pushed the hair out of my face. “I mean, we used protection except for that one time and I . . . Well, I don’t know if I’m just being crazy or what.”
Alex faced me. “I’m assuming you have real reasons to suspect the whole pregnancy thing?”
I nodded, deciding I really didn’t want to get into the whole Cora thing. “I just need to know if I am or not. Do you know if there is any way to get one here?”
“You’d have to go to the infirmary to get one.”
I cringed. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” A look of sympathy crossed her face. “They don’t sell the tests in the stores here because they like to keep track of who’s getting pregnant. Completely barbaric and an embarrassing violation of privacy, but unless we can leave here—which wouldn’t be smart—you’d have to get one done in the infirmary.”
“Oh, sweet baby Jesus,” I murmured under my breath.
Alex squeezed my arm. “Do you want to go now? I’ll go with you.”
What other choice did I have? Resigning myself to what I had to do, I sighed. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
She smiled tightly and then we started walking again, this time back toward the main buildings. “It would make sense.”
I glanced at her.
“You being sick,” she explained. “Maybe it’s not just the bands on your wrists.”
Feeling like I just might pass out, I was silent for a couple of minutes. “I just . . . I don’t know how I could be after what went down with Hyperion.”
Her sharp gaze found mine as we neared the square, one-story building that housed some of the training rooms and several nursing stations.
I looked away, focusing on the bronze-colored double doors ahead. “I fought him,” I said, pushing past the messy knot forming in the back of my throat. “I fought back and I . . . I didn’t win those fights.”
“I get it.” Alex reached down and took my hand, squeezing it. “I get what you’re saying.”
Wetness rushed my eyes and I blinked it away. “So I’m probably just overreacting.”
Alex let go of my hand and reached for the door. “Maybe.” There was a pause. “But you’re a demigod and Seth’s an Apollyon—or was. I have no idea what that would make a kid, but it’s probably a very strong one.”
I opened my mouth, but I had no words, because I hadn’t even begun to think about what kind of kid could be inside me—a kid that had a demigod and a god as a parent.
“Or it could just be weird cycles? That’s possible. I mean, who hasn’t thought they were pregnant before?” She tried to sound reassuring, because I figured the panicked expression on my face was pretty obvious. “I thought I was pregnant once and it turned out I had two lesser gods living inside me.”
I stared at her.
“Not that I’m saying you have gods inside you, but you know, it could be anything. Anyway . . .” She opened the door. “Let’s find out.”
In a daze, I followed Alex inside. I was too anxious to do much speaking as Alex found us a nurse and we were escorted into a small, minty-smelling room. There were no chairs in the room, only an examination table, and I didn’t want to sit on it since that seemed all too official.
The nurse, a pure-blood dressed in pale blue scrubs, closed the door behind her. She was an older lady with what I thought were pretty amazing amethyst-colored eyes. Turning to us with a clipboard in hand, those odd eyes bounced nervously between Alex and me.
I imagine she hadn’t been in the room with two demigods before.
Her smile was full of uncertainty. “How can I help you two?”
I started to look at Alex, but then I realized that I seriously needed to grow up and ask for the test. “I’m not a student here. I’m—”
“I know who you are—who both of you are,” the nurse spoke up. “I’m sure everyone at the University is aware of who both of you are.”
Having no idea if that was a good thing or not, I exhaled roughly. “I think I might be pregnant, so I was hoping I could take a test.”
The nurse’s expression didn’t change one iota. “Have you had the symptoms of pregnancy?”
I nodded. “I’m late and I’ve been . . . sick.” I didn’t feel like it was necessary to even bring the issue of the bands on my wrists into the equation. “I’ve had unprotected sex. Once,” I tacked on like that made a difference. “I really would like this to be private. I mean, the whole doctor-patient privilege thing still works, right?”
Alex snickered. “Privacy at the Covenant? Not likely, but I have a feeling she’s not going to want to piss off Apollo’s daughter.”
The skin around the nurse’s mouth tightened. “When I took the oath, I did so for everyone I treat. I am not—”
“ . . . like other pure-bloods,” Alex finished for her. “Got it. So this conversation and its potential results won’t leave this office?”
Damn girl, I thought.
“Right.” The nurse put the clipboard down. “We can do a simple urine test and then go from there. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good?” I said, glancing at Alex. She nodded.
The nurse reached into a cabinet and pulled out a small plastic cup with a lid. She scribbled “Jane” across the piece of tape. “Ready?”
I was showed where the nearest bathroom was, and I did the whole pee in the cup thing. That cup of potential doom was placed in a little window and then I went back to the windowless room where Alex was waiting.
Leaning against the wall, I smacked my hands over my face. It sort of hit me right then that this was really happening. There was a good chance I was pregnant and I was going to figure out what the hell that meant other than being pregnant. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Seth . . . doesn’t know, does he?” Alex asked.
“No,” I said from behind my hands. “It wasn’t something I really thought about until recently and I didn’t want to get him . . . worried?” I didn’t know how Seth would react. I didn’t know how I would react if that test came back positive. “I don’t know what he’d do or even think. It’s not exactly something we’ve talked about.”
Alex wrapped her fingers around my arms and pulled my hands from my face. “Honest? He’s probably going to be as shocked as you, but Seth loves you, Josie. He really does, and that is something amazing.”
My heart did a little jump. “I know.”
She gave a little shake of her head. “I don’t know if you really do.” Dropping her hands, she drew in a deep breath. “I never believed that Seth was capable of loving anyone more than he loved himself, but he does with you. And because of that, you shouldn’t be afraid of telling him if that test comes back positive.”
I tipped my head back against the wall. “Even if he’s a hundred percent okay with this, how can we do this? There is so much screwed up stuff going on right now, and I . . . I just don’t know.”
“You’ll figure something out. Trust me,” she said. “You will, because you’ll have to.”
