The Target
Page 83
"What's Carnegie Hall?"
"It's where great artists from all over the world come to perform. It's in New York City. I heard Liam McCallum play the violin there. It was an incredible experience. You could be there too, Emma."
"Yes," Molly said, "I think she might."
"My papa never played at Carnegie Hall," Emma whispered, not looking up from her keyboard. "But he was a great artist, Mama said so."
"Yes, he was," Molly said. She looked as if she was going to burst into tears. Ramsey sat forward. "I have one of your dad's CDs, Emma. Even though he didn't make it to Carnegie Hall, everyone in the world can hear him. All his music will live on."
"That's what Mama said."
"And when was the last time your mama was wrong?" Ramsey said, lightly stroking his fingers over her French braid, one that he'd done himself. It wasn't bad, hardly crooked at all, and the plaiting looked pretty smooth.
Emma raised her face then. She thought really hard. "It's been a long time," she said finally. "Maybe two months ago."
Ramsey laughed.
"Now," Dr. Loo said. "It's time we talked about you going to Ireland with your mama and Ramsey."
Emma said, "I don't know what Ireland is, Dr. Loo."
"It's a beautiful wild country that's across the ocean. It's a place to enjoy, Emma, a place where you can look at things and maybe see them in a different light. It's a place where you can stop being afraid, where you can play your piano, where you can run in the mornings with Ramsey and play Frisbee with your mama, and have picnics. It's very beautiful, Emma. You can sit on the rocks and dangle your toes into the water. It's so cold you yip in surprise. You'll be with two people who love you and want you to be safe and happy. What do you think?"
Emma drew back between Ramsey's knees. "Will that bad man be there?"
Ramsey rubbed his hands lightly up and down her thin arms. "No, he won't. We'll never let him get close to you again. I promise, Emma."
Emma turned to face him. "He's close, Ramsey. He's real close now. He killed my daddy. He wants me now."
"No, Emma, he doesn't. He's very afraid, and he's running and hiding now because he knows the police are after him. I'd like him to be caught. Then he'd be in jail for the rest of his life. Everyone is trying really hard to catch him.
"I do know one thing for sure, Emma. We won't ever let him come near you again. Do you believe me?"
Emma looked up at him for a very long time. Molly was aware that she was holding her breath. Emma continued to be silent, but she finally released her breath, letting it out slowly and quietly. She looked at Dr. Loo, who just smiled and shook her head slightly.
Dr. Loo took a quick look at her watch and stood. She pulled Molly aside. "It will take time. Don't push her. I can already see that both you and Judge Hunt are dealing with this very well. I think Ireland is a fine idea. However, I think Emma and I should meet tomorrow. When had you expected to leave?"
"It doesn't matter," Molly said, her eyes on her daughter. "Emma's what's important. We'll leave when you think it's right and not before."
"She's doing well, Mrs. Santera. She really is. But this sort of thing-it will be with her forever. You must face that and find a way to deal with it. Her feelings about it will change as she grows up. Most of it will fade into blurry vague memories, and that's good, but it won't ever disappear. But now, she's just a little girl. She doesn't have a clue about the concept of rape. She knows this bad man hurt her badly, and that it wasn't right, but there are no grown-up connotations. What you're dealing with right now are feelings of fear and remembered helplessness.
"Eventually, she'll have to understand that what happened to her can't be changed, that it was real, and that the trick is for her to learn to deal with it so that it doesn't ruin the rest of her life. It's not going to be easy for either of you. You'll put out a fire then another one will crop up in some other context.
"She's lucky that you're her mother. I know that Judge Hunt has known Emma for a very short time, but they trust each other, their affection seems to be deep and abiding."
"It will be difficult when Judge Hunt returns to his home," Molly said.
Dr. Loo let a couple of seconds go by, then said in that comfortable, matter-of-fact voice, "Well, these things have a way of working out. Tomorrow I'll meet with Emma alone. I want to speak to her about the abuse, try to make her see that the man wasn't normal, that it wasn't in any way her fault, that this didn't happen to her because she was bad."
"It's where great artists from all over the world come to perform. It's in New York City. I heard Liam McCallum play the violin there. It was an incredible experience. You could be there too, Emma."
"Yes," Molly said, "I think she might."
"My papa never played at Carnegie Hall," Emma whispered, not looking up from her keyboard. "But he was a great artist, Mama said so."
"Yes, he was," Molly said. She looked as if she was going to burst into tears. Ramsey sat forward. "I have one of your dad's CDs, Emma. Even though he didn't make it to Carnegie Hall, everyone in the world can hear him. All his music will live on."
"That's what Mama said."
"And when was the last time your mama was wrong?" Ramsey said, lightly stroking his fingers over her French braid, one that he'd done himself. It wasn't bad, hardly crooked at all, and the plaiting looked pretty smooth.
Emma raised her face then. She thought really hard. "It's been a long time," she said finally. "Maybe two months ago."
Ramsey laughed.
"Now," Dr. Loo said. "It's time we talked about you going to Ireland with your mama and Ramsey."
Emma said, "I don't know what Ireland is, Dr. Loo."
"It's a beautiful wild country that's across the ocean. It's a place to enjoy, Emma, a place where you can look at things and maybe see them in a different light. It's a place where you can stop being afraid, where you can play your piano, where you can run in the mornings with Ramsey and play Frisbee with your mama, and have picnics. It's very beautiful, Emma. You can sit on the rocks and dangle your toes into the water. It's so cold you yip in surprise. You'll be with two people who love you and want you to be safe and happy. What do you think?"
Emma drew back between Ramsey's knees. "Will that bad man be there?"
Ramsey rubbed his hands lightly up and down her thin arms. "No, he won't. We'll never let him get close to you again. I promise, Emma."
Emma turned to face him. "He's close, Ramsey. He's real close now. He killed my daddy. He wants me now."
"No, Emma, he doesn't. He's very afraid, and he's running and hiding now because he knows the police are after him. I'd like him to be caught. Then he'd be in jail for the rest of his life. Everyone is trying really hard to catch him.
"I do know one thing for sure, Emma. We won't ever let him come near you again. Do you believe me?"
Emma looked up at him for a very long time. Molly was aware that she was holding her breath. Emma continued to be silent, but she finally released her breath, letting it out slowly and quietly. She looked at Dr. Loo, who just smiled and shook her head slightly.
Dr. Loo took a quick look at her watch and stood. She pulled Molly aside. "It will take time. Don't push her. I can already see that both you and Judge Hunt are dealing with this very well. I think Ireland is a fine idea. However, I think Emma and I should meet tomorrow. When had you expected to leave?"
"It doesn't matter," Molly said, her eyes on her daughter. "Emma's what's important. We'll leave when you think it's right and not before."
"She's doing well, Mrs. Santera. She really is. But this sort of thing-it will be with her forever. You must face that and find a way to deal with it. Her feelings about it will change as she grows up. Most of it will fade into blurry vague memories, and that's good, but it won't ever disappear. But now, she's just a little girl. She doesn't have a clue about the concept of rape. She knows this bad man hurt her badly, and that it wasn't right, but there are no grown-up connotations. What you're dealing with right now are feelings of fear and remembered helplessness.
"Eventually, she'll have to understand that what happened to her can't be changed, that it was real, and that the trick is for her to learn to deal with it so that it doesn't ruin the rest of her life. It's not going to be easy for either of you. You'll put out a fire then another one will crop up in some other context.
"She's lucky that you're her mother. I know that Judge Hunt has known Emma for a very short time, but they trust each other, their affection seems to be deep and abiding."
"It will be difficult when Judge Hunt returns to his home," Molly said.
Dr. Loo let a couple of seconds go by, then said in that comfortable, matter-of-fact voice, "Well, these things have a way of working out. Tomorrow I'll meet with Emma alone. I want to speak to her about the abuse, try to make her see that the man wasn't normal, that it wasn't in any way her fault, that this didn't happen to her because she was bad."
