The Undomestic Goddess
Page 86
“Samantha … what have you done?”
“Oh, my hair?” I touch it casually. “I just wanted it in a different style.”
“Are those your sunglasses?”
“I’ve got a bit of a headache. So … what’s up?” I add, hastily changing the subject.
“Trish.” He scowls. “She’s been lecturing me on noise. I can’t mow the lawn between the hours of ten and two. I can’t use the trimmer without giving warning. Could I please tiptoe on the gravel. Tiptoe.”
“Why?”
“Because of this blasted visitor. We all have to dance around her. A bloody lawyer.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Her work’s important? My work’s important!”
“She’s coming!” Trish’s voice suddenly shrills from the kitchen and she comes hurrying out. “Are we all ready?” She flings open the front door and I hear the sound of a car door opening in the drive.
This is it. I pull a few more strands of hair over my face and clench my fists by my sides. If I recognize this woman I’ll just keep my eyes down, mumble my words, and play my part. I’m a housekeeper. I have never been anything but a housekeeper.
“Now, you should get lots of peace here, Melissa,” I can hear Trish saying. “I’ve instructed the staff to look after you with extra special care.…”
I exchange looks with Nathaniel, who rolls his eyes.
“Here we are! Let me hold the door open …”
I hold my breath. A moment later Trish enters the house, followed by a girl in jeans and a tight white top, dragging a suitcase.
This is the top, high-powered lawyer?
She has long dark hair and a pert, pretty face, and can’t be much out of her teens.
“Melissa, this is our wonderful housekeeper, Samantha—” Trish breaks off in surprise. “Samantha … what on earth are you wearing? You look like Elton John!”
“Hello,” I say awkwardly, removing the sunglasses. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“It’s fab to be here.” Melissa has a boarding-school drawl. “London was, like, sooo getting me down.”
“Mrs. Geiger said you’re a lawyer at some … big place in London?”
“Yah.” She gives me a smug smile. “I’m at Chelsea Law School.”
What?
She’s not even a qualified lawyer. She’s a law student. She’s a baby. I cautiously raise my head and meet her eyes—but there’s not a blink of recognition. Oh, for God’s sake. I have nothing to worry about from this girl. I almost want to laugh.
“And who’s this?” Melissa bats her mascaraed eyelashes alluringly at Nathaniel, whose scowl deepens.
“This is Nathaniel, our gardener,” says Trish. “But don’t worry, he’s under strict instructions not to disturb you. I’ve told him, you need absolute quiet for your work.”
“It’s true. I’ve got loads of revision to do.” Melissa gives a world-weary sigh and pushes a hand through her hair. “You wouldn’t believe the workload, Auntie Trish. I’ve been soooo stressed.”
“I don’t know how you do it!” Trish puts an arm around her shoulders and squeezes tight. “Now, what would you like to do first? We’re all at your disposal.”
“Could you unpack all my things?” Melissa turns to me. “They’ll be creased, so they’ll all need ironing.”
She’s not going to do her own unpacking? I’m to be this girl’s personal maid?
“I might take my books out in the garden,” she adds airily. “Maybe the gardener could set up a table for me in the shade?”
Trish is watching in total admiration as Melissa rummages in a backpack full of textbooks.
“Look at all those books, Samantha!” she exclaims as Melissa retrieves Beginner’s Guide to Litigation. “Look at all those long words!”
“Er … wow,” I say politely.
“Why don’t you make us all some coffee first?” Trish turns to me. “We’ll take it on the terrace. Bring some biscuits out too.”
“Of course, Mrs. Geiger,” I say, bobbing an automatic curtsy.
“Could you make mine half caffeinated, half decaf?” Melissa adds over her shoulder. “I, like, don’t want to get too wired.”
No, I bloody couldn’t, you pretentious little cow.
“Of course.” I smile through gritted teeth. “My pleasure.”
As I carry the coffee out to the terrace ten minutes later, Trish and Melissa are ensconced in chairs under a parasol along with Eddie.
“Oh, my hair?” I touch it casually. “I just wanted it in a different style.”
“Are those your sunglasses?”
“I’ve got a bit of a headache. So … what’s up?” I add, hastily changing the subject.
“Trish.” He scowls. “She’s been lecturing me on noise. I can’t mow the lawn between the hours of ten and two. I can’t use the trimmer without giving warning. Could I please tiptoe on the gravel. Tiptoe.”
“Why?”
“Because of this blasted visitor. We all have to dance around her. A bloody lawyer.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Her work’s important? My work’s important!”
“She’s coming!” Trish’s voice suddenly shrills from the kitchen and she comes hurrying out. “Are we all ready?” She flings open the front door and I hear the sound of a car door opening in the drive.
This is it. I pull a few more strands of hair over my face and clench my fists by my sides. If I recognize this woman I’ll just keep my eyes down, mumble my words, and play my part. I’m a housekeeper. I have never been anything but a housekeeper.
“Now, you should get lots of peace here, Melissa,” I can hear Trish saying. “I’ve instructed the staff to look after you with extra special care.…”
I exchange looks with Nathaniel, who rolls his eyes.
“Here we are! Let me hold the door open …”
I hold my breath. A moment later Trish enters the house, followed by a girl in jeans and a tight white top, dragging a suitcase.
This is the top, high-powered lawyer?
She has long dark hair and a pert, pretty face, and can’t be much out of her teens.
“Melissa, this is our wonderful housekeeper, Samantha—” Trish breaks off in surprise. “Samantha … what on earth are you wearing? You look like Elton John!”
“Hello,” I say awkwardly, removing the sunglasses. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“It’s fab to be here.” Melissa has a boarding-school drawl. “London was, like, sooo getting me down.”
“Mrs. Geiger said you’re a lawyer at some … big place in London?”
“Yah.” She gives me a smug smile. “I’m at Chelsea Law School.”
What?
She’s not even a qualified lawyer. She’s a law student. She’s a baby. I cautiously raise my head and meet her eyes—but there’s not a blink of recognition. Oh, for God’s sake. I have nothing to worry about from this girl. I almost want to laugh.
“And who’s this?” Melissa bats her mascaraed eyelashes alluringly at Nathaniel, whose scowl deepens.
“This is Nathaniel, our gardener,” says Trish. “But don’t worry, he’s under strict instructions not to disturb you. I’ve told him, you need absolute quiet for your work.”
“It’s true. I’ve got loads of revision to do.” Melissa gives a world-weary sigh and pushes a hand through her hair. “You wouldn’t believe the workload, Auntie Trish. I’ve been soooo stressed.”
“I don’t know how you do it!” Trish puts an arm around her shoulders and squeezes tight. “Now, what would you like to do first? We’re all at your disposal.”
“Could you unpack all my things?” Melissa turns to me. “They’ll be creased, so they’ll all need ironing.”
She’s not going to do her own unpacking? I’m to be this girl’s personal maid?
“I might take my books out in the garden,” she adds airily. “Maybe the gardener could set up a table for me in the shade?”
Trish is watching in total admiration as Melissa rummages in a backpack full of textbooks.
“Look at all those books, Samantha!” she exclaims as Melissa retrieves Beginner’s Guide to Litigation. “Look at all those long words!”
“Er … wow,” I say politely.
“Why don’t you make us all some coffee first?” Trish turns to me. “We’ll take it on the terrace. Bring some biscuits out too.”
“Of course, Mrs. Geiger,” I say, bobbing an automatic curtsy.
“Could you make mine half caffeinated, half decaf?” Melissa adds over her shoulder. “I, like, don’t want to get too wired.”
No, I bloody couldn’t, you pretentious little cow.
“Of course.” I smile through gritted teeth. “My pleasure.”
As I carry the coffee out to the terrace ten minutes later, Trish and Melissa are ensconced in chairs under a parasol along with Eddie.
