The Upside of Unrequited
Page 61
She shrugs. “I am.”
“But I want you to be in love. With someone better than Evan.”
“Anyone’s better than Evan,” she says.
“Good point.”
And now I’m furiously matchmaking in my head. Obviously, Will’s off the table, since Olivia doesn’t even see his cuteness. And Max is kind of an asshole. But I’m curious about Douglas. Reid swears he exists. Olivia and the elusive Douglas. I know Reid ships it.
“Have you—” I start to say, but Olivia cuts me off.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Olivia rests her chin on Xavier’s head. “But I don’t actually want a boyfriend right now.”
“Really?”
“Not even a little.” She smiles.
I turn it over in my head. I can’t decide if this is funny or sad, but I’ve spent so much time wanting a boyfriend that I can’t imagine not wanting one. I can imagine saying I don’t want one. But I can’t imagine it being true.
And maybe that’s just me, a little broken after twenty-six rounds of unrequited love. Maybe this is a side effect.
FRIDAY NIGHT. DEEP BREATH.
So, I’ve been trying to ask you something for a couple of days now
But I can’t seem to get the words out.
So I guess I’m doing this over text, because I’m the actual worst
Any chance you’re free on Sunday? As in, the day after tomorrow?
Because there’s this wedding I’m going to, and I kind of need a date . . .
BUTT-EARLY, SATURDAY. THE BOYFRIEND REPLIES:
Okay, I have an idea
Like a WEDDING idea.
So, you know those pennant things that look like shark teeth?
People make cake toppers like that!
They’re held up by chopsticks. I didn’t make this up. I found it on Pinterest.
WHY AM I LOOKING AT PINTEREST, MOLLY? What is this madness?
I think I must miss you.
Or maybe Pinterest is actually an adorable disease transmitted only through your saliva?
Your *adorable* saliva.
The Adorable Saliva of Molly Peskin-Suso.
That should be the title of your autobiography!
Anyway, I know you’re at the alterations place getting altered.
(But hopefully not too altered.)
(I really like you unaltered.)
So, just know that.
Also, I really think you should do this cake topper.
(In case this isn’t clear, this is me saying yes. I am down for this wedding and anything else you want to bring me to, ever, especially if cake is involved.)
UNALTERED? I WRITE. LIKE AN un-spayed cat?
Oh. Oh no. I mean, YES. Please don’t get spayed.
I have a boyfriend who sends texts asking me not to get spayed. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Reid’s weird mind. Ever.
I’ll try not to! I write. And then: I’m really glad you’re coming.
So, I’m not getting altered. I’m not even getting my dress altered. We’re just here for my moms, here being the bridal boutique alterations department. Cassie and I are on a velvet couch outside the changing room, surrounded by mirrors. I’m trying not to stare at myself.
Patty steps out of the changing room and sighs. “Oh God. See, now I don’t know about the strapless.”
Cassie raises her eyebrows. “Isn’t it a little late in the game for that?”
“You look perfect,” Nadine says, smiling.
“I don’t look like a pale, boobless forty-eight-year-old?”
“You do.” Nadine kisses her. “And I like it.”
Cassie sinks into the couch cushions and covers her eyes. “Stoooooooooooopppp. Get a room.”
“Get used to it, Kitty Cat,” Nadine says. She looks in the mirror, grins, and unbuttons her top button. “What do you think?”
“Perfect,” I say. And they really are perfect. Nadine’s wearing light gray pants and a white button-down from the grooms’ section. I actually watched her tell a consultant that her priority was “boob accessibility.” Patty’s boobs, on the other hand, are trapped behind epic amounts of Alençon lace. They’re both so totally beautiful. I know it’s weird to think that about your parents, but it’s true. I can’t believe they’re getting married tomorrow.
Nadine turns to me suddenly, eyes glinting. “So, Molly, are you bringing Reid to this thing?”
Cassie turns to me and beams. “Your boyfriend,” she adds. “Just reminding you.”
Boyfriend. Still not used to it. I grin into my fist.
Through the mirror, I catch a glimpse of Patty and Nadine watching us. They look especially twinkly-eyed, and I can tell Patty’s gearing up to say something. She’s got that look. But she’s intercepted by the bridal consultant for some last-minute stitching.
Okay, this should be a thing. Like a service you can order. Someone to sweep your mom away at the exact moment she’s about to say something awkward.
Unfortunately, Nadine decides to carry the baton. “I want to hear more about this rad boyfriend.”
Cassie giggles.
I roll my eyes. “Oh, he’s rad.”
“I mean, I didn’t even know this was in the pipeline,” she adds. “Momo, you’ve been holding out on us. Didn’t even know you liked anyone.”
“I knew,” Cassie says smugly.
I feel warm all over. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“Aww, baby. I’m just happy for you.” She squeezes onto the couch between Cassie and me, and hooks an arm around each of us.
“She’s wanted a boyfriend for so long. Soooooo long,” Cassie says.
I wrinkle my nose. “Okay, that just makes me sound pathetic.”
“What? No!”
“Aww, Momo, why do you think that?”
Because. I don’t want to be that girl. I want to be the other kind of girl. The Olivia kind. Totally cool with being single. Not even interested in a relationship right now.
“Because I don’t want to be a girl who needs a boyfriend,” I say.
“Well, of course you don’t need one,” Nadine says. “But it’s okay to want one.”
I shrug.
“Momo, I’m serious. You get to want whatever you want.” She tugs the end of my hair. “And you know what? Love is worth wanting.”
“But I want you to be in love. With someone better than Evan.”
“Anyone’s better than Evan,” she says.
“Good point.”
And now I’m furiously matchmaking in my head. Obviously, Will’s off the table, since Olivia doesn’t even see his cuteness. And Max is kind of an asshole. But I’m curious about Douglas. Reid swears he exists. Olivia and the elusive Douglas. I know Reid ships it.
“Have you—” I start to say, but Olivia cuts me off.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Olivia rests her chin on Xavier’s head. “But I don’t actually want a boyfriend right now.”
“Really?”
“Not even a little.” She smiles.
I turn it over in my head. I can’t decide if this is funny or sad, but I’ve spent so much time wanting a boyfriend that I can’t imagine not wanting one. I can imagine saying I don’t want one. But I can’t imagine it being true.
And maybe that’s just me, a little broken after twenty-six rounds of unrequited love. Maybe this is a side effect.
FRIDAY NIGHT. DEEP BREATH.
So, I’ve been trying to ask you something for a couple of days now
But I can’t seem to get the words out.
So I guess I’m doing this over text, because I’m the actual worst
Any chance you’re free on Sunday? As in, the day after tomorrow?
Because there’s this wedding I’m going to, and I kind of need a date . . .
BUTT-EARLY, SATURDAY. THE BOYFRIEND REPLIES:
Okay, I have an idea
Like a WEDDING idea.
So, you know those pennant things that look like shark teeth?
People make cake toppers like that!
They’re held up by chopsticks. I didn’t make this up. I found it on Pinterest.
WHY AM I LOOKING AT PINTEREST, MOLLY? What is this madness?
I think I must miss you.
Or maybe Pinterest is actually an adorable disease transmitted only through your saliva?
Your *adorable* saliva.
The Adorable Saliva of Molly Peskin-Suso.
That should be the title of your autobiography!
Anyway, I know you’re at the alterations place getting altered.
(But hopefully not too altered.)
(I really like you unaltered.)
So, just know that.
Also, I really think you should do this cake topper.
(In case this isn’t clear, this is me saying yes. I am down for this wedding and anything else you want to bring me to, ever, especially if cake is involved.)
UNALTERED? I WRITE. LIKE AN un-spayed cat?
Oh. Oh no. I mean, YES. Please don’t get spayed.
I have a boyfriend who sends texts asking me not to get spayed. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Reid’s weird mind. Ever.
I’ll try not to! I write. And then: I’m really glad you’re coming.
So, I’m not getting altered. I’m not even getting my dress altered. We’re just here for my moms, here being the bridal boutique alterations department. Cassie and I are on a velvet couch outside the changing room, surrounded by mirrors. I’m trying not to stare at myself.
Patty steps out of the changing room and sighs. “Oh God. See, now I don’t know about the strapless.”
Cassie raises her eyebrows. “Isn’t it a little late in the game for that?”
“You look perfect,” Nadine says, smiling.
“I don’t look like a pale, boobless forty-eight-year-old?”
“You do.” Nadine kisses her. “And I like it.”
Cassie sinks into the couch cushions and covers her eyes. “Stoooooooooooopppp. Get a room.”
“Get used to it, Kitty Cat,” Nadine says. She looks in the mirror, grins, and unbuttons her top button. “What do you think?”
“Perfect,” I say. And they really are perfect. Nadine’s wearing light gray pants and a white button-down from the grooms’ section. I actually watched her tell a consultant that her priority was “boob accessibility.” Patty’s boobs, on the other hand, are trapped behind epic amounts of Alençon lace. They’re both so totally beautiful. I know it’s weird to think that about your parents, but it’s true. I can’t believe they’re getting married tomorrow.
Nadine turns to me suddenly, eyes glinting. “So, Molly, are you bringing Reid to this thing?”
Cassie turns to me and beams. “Your boyfriend,” she adds. “Just reminding you.”
Boyfriend. Still not used to it. I grin into my fist.
Through the mirror, I catch a glimpse of Patty and Nadine watching us. They look especially twinkly-eyed, and I can tell Patty’s gearing up to say something. She’s got that look. But she’s intercepted by the bridal consultant for some last-minute stitching.
Okay, this should be a thing. Like a service you can order. Someone to sweep your mom away at the exact moment she’s about to say something awkward.
Unfortunately, Nadine decides to carry the baton. “I want to hear more about this rad boyfriend.”
Cassie giggles.
I roll my eyes. “Oh, he’s rad.”
“I mean, I didn’t even know this was in the pipeline,” she adds. “Momo, you’ve been holding out on us. Didn’t even know you liked anyone.”
“I knew,” Cassie says smugly.
I feel warm all over. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“Aww, baby. I’m just happy for you.” She squeezes onto the couch between Cassie and me, and hooks an arm around each of us.
“She’s wanted a boyfriend for so long. Soooooo long,” Cassie says.
I wrinkle my nose. “Okay, that just makes me sound pathetic.”
“What? No!”
“Aww, Momo, why do you think that?”
Because. I don’t want to be that girl. I want to be the other kind of girl. The Olivia kind. Totally cool with being single. Not even interested in a relationship right now.
“Because I don’t want to be a girl who needs a boyfriend,” I say.
“Well, of course you don’t need one,” Nadine says. “But it’s okay to want one.”
I shrug.
“Momo, I’m serious. You get to want whatever you want.” She tugs the end of my hair. “And you know what? Love is worth wanting.”
