The Wicked Deeds of Daniel Mackenzie
Page 84
“Violet . . .”
Violet held up her hand, fingers stiffly spread. “No. Wait. I want to finish. I was onstage with my mother when it happened. She had no idea about any of this.” Violet smiled a little, that heartbreaking smile that made Daniel want to kill every person who’d ever hurt her. “I was too young and ignorant to understand what was wrong with me. A lady in the audience, a courtesan called Lady Amber, saw what was happening. She came backstage, took me away to her house, and got a doctor—a real doctor, a good one—to help me. The doctor saved me, but couldn’t save the child.”
Violet trailed off. The train’s wheels clacked into the silence, the train rushing along at a great speed toward Paris.
“I’m sorry, Violet,” Daniel said, not moving. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Perhaps it was for the best.” Violet got the words out, but her voice broke.
“No, not for the best. It’s never for the best. You tell yourself that so you can bear the hurting. My stepmum, she lost a babe that came from an unscrupulous man, but it grieved her all the same.”
Violet’s tears dropped to her cheeks. Daniel came to her, gently seated her on the sofa where she’d sat with Ainsley, and sat down with her.
“Tell me the rest, love.”
Violet looked up at him, her eyes wet. “There is no rest. Jacobi was kind to me, trying to make amends. But when he was in debt again, when he offered me again, as I told you, I packed our things and took my mother and Mary out of Paris. I never wanted to live through that again. I haven’t seen Jacobi from that day to this.”
Daniel let silence fall between them for a time. Her hurting was real, no more lies. “Was it a legal marriage?” he asked after a time. “You were very young. Are you certain?”
She nodded. “There was a priest, our names in the register, a license, witnesses. I’m fairly certain it was all legal. Whether Jacobi is alive or dead now, as I said, I have no idea. I might be a widow. I don’t know.”
“Have you never tried to find him? Obtain a divorce, or annulment?”
Violet shook her head. “I never wanted to see him again. I did keep an ear out for mention of him, but I never heard anything. And he never tried to find me.” Her shoulders slumped. “It didn’t matter to me. I had no intention of marrying anyone else, so the fact that I’d married wasn’t important.”
Not important. Daniel had to stand up again. If he strangled Jacobi, not only would it feel good to his restless hands, he would set Violet free.
Daniel turned back to her. “It’s important to me, love. I’ll hunt down Jacobi, and if he’s still alive, I’ll shake an annulment out of him. If you haven’t seen him in years, the marriage might be null anyway. Abandonment or disappearance can dissolve it. Or Jacobi might have ended it so he could marry someone else.”
“He could have. I never had the opportunity or the money to bother with it. As I say, I wanted nothing to do with him. Ever.”
Daniel nodded. “Yes, you ran away. You’re good at that—running. How was it the police caught you this morning? I’d have thought you light on your feet.”
“I told you, I wanted them to catch me. My mother needed to get away.”
Daniel’s anger surged again. He went swiftly back to the sofa, leaned down, and planted his fists on either side of her. “You mean you sacrificed yourself for her, just as you sacrificed yourself for Jacobi, just as you sacrificed any chance at a normal marriage because he convinced you to. You sacrifice, and you run, and Violet, you have got to stop.”
“How can I?” Violet’s eyes held defeat. “What else is there?”
The defeat pierced Daniel to the heart. “I’m going to show you what else. I said so before—not that you believed me. Ye think me the frivolous Mr. Mackenzie, the flirt, the ne’er-do-well. Hell, I can barely say ne’er-do-well. But unfortunately for you, I’ve seen the true Violet. I’ve watched you leave your sacrificing, drudging flimflammery behind you and open yourself to the world. I’ve seen you spread your arms and scream out loud as the wind carried you. And I’m going to see that again. I plan to drag you out of yourself, sweetheart, whether you like it or not.”
“And then what? Crash me to the ground again? It’s what gentlemen do to ladies when they’re finished with them.”
“And I so love the way you try to turn me into a villain every time. Makes me angry, that does. But if I say I’m going to show you everything in life you missed, I mean it. I’m not Jacobi, or a man who thinks it just to use a girl’s innocence as payment. And I’m not the marks you play upon to fleece. I don’t care about your parlor tricks, or your phosphor-luminescent paint, or your fake talking boards. I’m going to show you real life. Real joy. Whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not. No, don’t agree or disagree right now. It doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think?” Violet’s pride was back.
“No, it doesn’t.” Daniel straightened up, feeling his smile return. “It only matters what I think right now. You’ve put yourself into my hands, love, and I’m going to show you the world. The way you’re supposed to see it.” He reached down and pulled her to her feet. “But right now, you’re going to sleep. Because when we reach our destination, no more rest for you. And no more looking after everyone. I’m going to look after you now, and that’s all there is to that.”
Violet held up her hand, fingers stiffly spread. “No. Wait. I want to finish. I was onstage with my mother when it happened. She had no idea about any of this.” Violet smiled a little, that heartbreaking smile that made Daniel want to kill every person who’d ever hurt her. “I was too young and ignorant to understand what was wrong with me. A lady in the audience, a courtesan called Lady Amber, saw what was happening. She came backstage, took me away to her house, and got a doctor—a real doctor, a good one—to help me. The doctor saved me, but couldn’t save the child.”
Violet trailed off. The train’s wheels clacked into the silence, the train rushing along at a great speed toward Paris.
“I’m sorry, Violet,” Daniel said, not moving. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Perhaps it was for the best.” Violet got the words out, but her voice broke.
“No, not for the best. It’s never for the best. You tell yourself that so you can bear the hurting. My stepmum, she lost a babe that came from an unscrupulous man, but it grieved her all the same.”
Violet’s tears dropped to her cheeks. Daniel came to her, gently seated her on the sofa where she’d sat with Ainsley, and sat down with her.
“Tell me the rest, love.”
Violet looked up at him, her eyes wet. “There is no rest. Jacobi was kind to me, trying to make amends. But when he was in debt again, when he offered me again, as I told you, I packed our things and took my mother and Mary out of Paris. I never wanted to live through that again. I haven’t seen Jacobi from that day to this.”
Daniel let silence fall between them for a time. Her hurting was real, no more lies. “Was it a legal marriage?” he asked after a time. “You were very young. Are you certain?”
She nodded. “There was a priest, our names in the register, a license, witnesses. I’m fairly certain it was all legal. Whether Jacobi is alive or dead now, as I said, I have no idea. I might be a widow. I don’t know.”
“Have you never tried to find him? Obtain a divorce, or annulment?”
Violet shook her head. “I never wanted to see him again. I did keep an ear out for mention of him, but I never heard anything. And he never tried to find me.” Her shoulders slumped. “It didn’t matter to me. I had no intention of marrying anyone else, so the fact that I’d married wasn’t important.”
Not important. Daniel had to stand up again. If he strangled Jacobi, not only would it feel good to his restless hands, he would set Violet free.
Daniel turned back to her. “It’s important to me, love. I’ll hunt down Jacobi, and if he’s still alive, I’ll shake an annulment out of him. If you haven’t seen him in years, the marriage might be null anyway. Abandonment or disappearance can dissolve it. Or Jacobi might have ended it so he could marry someone else.”
“He could have. I never had the opportunity or the money to bother with it. As I say, I wanted nothing to do with him. Ever.”
Daniel nodded. “Yes, you ran away. You’re good at that—running. How was it the police caught you this morning? I’d have thought you light on your feet.”
“I told you, I wanted them to catch me. My mother needed to get away.”
Daniel’s anger surged again. He went swiftly back to the sofa, leaned down, and planted his fists on either side of her. “You mean you sacrificed yourself for her, just as you sacrificed yourself for Jacobi, just as you sacrificed any chance at a normal marriage because he convinced you to. You sacrifice, and you run, and Violet, you have got to stop.”
“How can I?” Violet’s eyes held defeat. “What else is there?”
The defeat pierced Daniel to the heart. “I’m going to show you what else. I said so before—not that you believed me. Ye think me the frivolous Mr. Mackenzie, the flirt, the ne’er-do-well. Hell, I can barely say ne’er-do-well. But unfortunately for you, I’ve seen the true Violet. I’ve watched you leave your sacrificing, drudging flimflammery behind you and open yourself to the world. I’ve seen you spread your arms and scream out loud as the wind carried you. And I’m going to see that again. I plan to drag you out of yourself, sweetheart, whether you like it or not.”
“And then what? Crash me to the ground again? It’s what gentlemen do to ladies when they’re finished with them.”
“And I so love the way you try to turn me into a villain every time. Makes me angry, that does. But if I say I’m going to show you everything in life you missed, I mean it. I’m not Jacobi, or a man who thinks it just to use a girl’s innocence as payment. And I’m not the marks you play upon to fleece. I don’t care about your parlor tricks, or your phosphor-luminescent paint, or your fake talking boards. I’m going to show you real life. Real joy. Whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not. No, don’t agree or disagree right now. It doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think?” Violet’s pride was back.
“No, it doesn’t.” Daniel straightened up, feeling his smile return. “It only matters what I think right now. You’ve put yourself into my hands, love, and I’m going to show you the world. The way you’re supposed to see it.” He reached down and pulled her to her feet. “But right now, you’re going to sleep. Because when we reach our destination, no more rest for you. And no more looking after everyone. I’m going to look after you now, and that’s all there is to that.”
