The Woods Out Back

Chapter 6 Crossroads

They set camp far from the road, fearing that the Prince and his men might be out looking for them. Kelsey took the watch, and said he would keep it for all the night, sitting grim-faced and stoic, his thin sword lying ready across his lap. No sense of chivalry bubbled up in Gary to argue. He was thoroughly exhausted from the weighted hiking and he was ready, too, after the mud-filled spectacle of Dilnamarra, to put this entire crazy fantasy behind him. Dilnamarra was unlike any town Gary had ever fantasized about, with so much suffering and true poverty, and after that sight, he figured he would never look upon Lancashire and upon his own existence in quite the same negative way.
But how to get back there? It seemed only logical, Gary tried to convince himself, that if he went to sleep in the middle of a dream, he would wake up in reality.
"Go to sleep," he whispered quietly to himself, "if you want to wake up."
Mickey heard the private conversation as Gary laid out the blankets and stripped off the bulkier parts of his armor. "As it always is and always will be with big folk from Real-earth," the leprechaun chuckled, and took a deep draw on his long pipe.
Gary knew that Mickey was laughing at him and his hopes of returning home, and he knew, too, that those hopes had no foundation in this situation. For all of his logical denial, Gary was beginning to catch on to the truth of his very real situation. Still, he turned sharply on Mickey and stubbornly held on to his previous perceptions of reality.
"You'll be gone soon," he assured the sprite.
Mickey chuckled again, conjured a small globe of light, and openedThe Hobbit. Gary stared at him a moment longer, then dropped to the blankets and tried to put the leprechaun out of his thoughts.
Every time the mist thinned, Gary got a too-brief glimpse of the evening canopy. A million stars dotted the sky, an enchanting view, but Gary rarely got to see more than a fraction of it through the opaque veil. The mist was stubborn, hanging like a pall over the land, dulling the crisp and wonderful sights that would indeed have made this a world of twilight fancies.
It hadn't missed the mark by far. Tir na n'Og was bright and cheery and warm and song-filled, a fitting forest indeed. Such places of enchantment could not be found in Gary's world - at least, not as far as Gary knew. And the Faerie countryside, if a bit plain, was untainted and undeniably lush.
But the harshness of Dilnamarra overshadowed the wood and the fields, brought a grim reality to steal the harmony of the forest song and country road.
Gary washed it all from his thoughts. He focused on his Jeep and the cemetery and the stool by the grinder, and hoped that he would not wake up too late for at least a cold supper, that his parents weren't too worried.
Then he saw the mist again, silvery in the starlight, and Kelsey keeping silent watch, and Mickey busy reading. How many hours had he been here? Not broken and episodic but real hours, filled with experiences both exciting and mundane, with all the little details that he never considered a part of the realm of dreams.
Gary knew that this was no dream. Plain and simple. He wondered if he had died, or gone insane. Had his love of fantasy novels and daydreams consumed his mind? Had his disappointments with life's realities driven him mad? He thought of a Jack Nicholson movie, of psychotics wandering aimlessly, hopelessly lost, and he wondered if they, too, had entered their own land of Faerie.
And what now for him? What "realities" now awaited Gary Leger? Would he find a long line of dreary towns like Dilnamarra, or a world of enchantment, a world of Tir na n'Og and leprechauns and stern elfs and wood nymphs?
The mist cleared again and Gary got his best view yet of the twinkling stars. Then it faded as his physical exhaustion overcame the turmoil in his mind and he drifted off to sleep.
Gary knew as soon as he opened his eyes that he was outdoors. He thought - hoped - for a brief moment that he was in the familiar wood back home, between the school and the cemetery and the intruding houses, but that hope died as soon as he smelled the breakfast cooking and heard Mickey's flavored voice.
"Mushroom stew'll fill yer belly fine," the leprechaun said to Kelsey.
"Prepare it quickly," Kelsey replied. "We have many more miles to go this day, and it will be hot. I expect our friend will need to stop and rest every few minutes." Kelsey's tone was not complimentary.
"Ye're too hard on the lad," Mickey said. "Ye'd be wanting rest yerself if ye had to walk around in that man-sized bucket."
"I, too, wear metal mail," Kelsey reminded him.
"Chain crafted by the Tylwyth Teg?" Mickey balked. "Suren yer whole suit's weighing less than Donigarten's helmet alone!"
"Prepare the stew quickly," Kelsey ordered again, his snarling tones revealing that he had run out of arguments. "I wish to be on the road before the sun has come fully over the horizon."
"Ah, ye're up, then!" Mickey greeted Gary, seeing Gary sitting on the blankets and stretching. "Good for that; now ye'll get a fine meal in yer belly."
Gary looked all around in continued disbelief, his expression a mixture of confusion and budding anger.
"I telled ye that ye can go home after ye finish the task," the leprechaun explained, honestly sympathetic. "I telled ye that ye were not dreaming; I'd not be lying to ye."
Still unable to come to terms with all of this, Gary shook his head slowly and nibbled his upper lip.
"Call it a dream if it makes ye feel better," the leprechaun advised. "And whatever ye might call it, enjoy it!"
"I didn't find the town so enjoyable," Gary said grimly.
"Then think o' Leshiye in the wood," Mickey offered with a sly wink. "I know ye liked that part."
That notion did bring a smile to Gary's face, and the mushroom stew proved truly delicious and did fill his belly. They were back on the road soon after, Kelsey leading them at a swift pace and Gary struggling to keep the loose-fitting helmet on straight and the heavy shield from dragging its tip along the ground.
Soon, Gary didn't even try to keep the shield aloft. The day was hot and dreary, damp with the mist and painfully bright. Sweat soaked the underpadding of Gary's suit and stung his eyes. He kept stopping and poking his fingers through the eye slit of the helmet to wipe the moisture away, but it hardly helped, since his fingers were as wet as his face.
"Take the helmet off and hang it on yer spear," Mickey offered to him, seeing his distress. Kelsey, up ahead, spun about.
"Oh, let him!" the leprechaun spouted, cutting short the elfs forthcoming argument. "He'll drop dead in that suit in this heat, and what good'll he be to yer quest then?"
Kelsey turned back and started away and Mickey smiled smugly. He helped Gary get the cumbersome helmet in place on the spear and they set off again with Gary feeling much better.
His brightened mood sustained him through most of the morning, but near noon they came to a crossroads, two intercepting muddy trails in the otherwise unremarkable rolling fields. Four high poles had been set into the ground, one at each corner of the intersection.
Men were hanging from them, by the neck, long dead and bloated, twisting slowly in the gentle breeze.
Gary dropped his spear and shield and clutched at his turning stomach. Even Kelsey, halting his determined march to stare unblinking, seemed affected by the gruesome sight.
"Poor wretches," Mickey remarked. "Cut them down, will ye?" he asked Kelsey.
Kelsey's hand went to his sword hilt, but he stopped and shook his head.
"Cut them down!" Gary shouted suddenly, though he nearly lost his breakfast for the effort.
"I cannot!" Kelsey shouted back at him. "None in all of Faerie would dare to do so but the Tylwyth Teg, and if I cut them down now it would surely tell Prince Geldion that we passed this way. As surely as if I signed my name on the road. I do not want the Prince anywhere near to us."
Gary and Mickey couldn't really argue against the practical reasoning.
"What did they do?" Gary asked somberly. "Were they criminals? And why would they be hung out here, so far from the town?"
"Probably couldn't pay their taxes," Mickey spat in reply. "Or said something the Prince didn't like hearing. Or stole a piece o' bread for feeding their children. Get yerself used to the sight, lad. Ye'll be seeing it at many crossroads."
"They always hang them at crossroads," Kelsey explained. "That way, if a dead man's vengeful spirit comes back seeking justice, it will not know which way to go."
"Vengeful spirits," Mickey grumbled. "The poor wretches hadn't the strength to fight in life, never mind in death."
"Let us get far from this place," Kelsey offered, and the others did not disagree.
Long after they had put the crossroads behind them, Mickey noticed that Gary's visage had not softened.
"Don't ye let it trouble ye, lad," the leprechaun offered. "Suren 'twas a terrible sight, but it's behind us now."
Gary's expression did not change. "'Call it a dream,' you said," he replied evenly. "But should I call it a dream or a nightmare?"
For the first time, Gary's words had left the leprechaun without reply.
"You said that I had heard of this land of Faerie," Gary went on, trying to hold his voice steady and hide his rising anger. "And so I have, in old folktales - fairy tales. But according to those stories, the world of elfs and leprechauns was supposed to be an enchanted place, peaceful and beautiful, and not a place where a man is left hanging by the neck at a crossroads for stealing bread to feed his hungry children."
"Aye," Mickey agreed somberly. His gray eyes misted over sorrowfully and took on a faraway look. "And so it once was," he went on, "before him named Kinnemore found a seat on the throne..."
"Enough!" shouted Kelsey, who had come back to join them and had overheard their conversation. He glared at Mickey, then turned on Gary. "The politics and ways of the land are not your concern," he growled. "You were brought here to play a small part in a quest, and nothing more. Whether the sights of Faerie please you or turn your stomach is of no concern to me."
Gary accepted the elfs berating without question, understanding that his and Mickey's observations had struck a sensitive nerve in Kelsey. He could not help but notice Kelsey's helpless frustration. The sight of the hanging men had stung the elf as deeply as any, maybe more so, and Gary knew that such images as that and as the huddled wretches of Dilnamarra were not in agreement with Kelsey's high-browed views of how the world should be.
Mickey and Gary exchanged shrugs as Kelsey started off again and they said no more as the miles passed. For Gary, it was hot and lonely and dreadful. His thoughts drifted back to his own world, back to Tir na n'Og, or to nowhere at all, and in his blank trance, he didn't even notice that Kelsey had stopped, crouching low as though he was inspecting something in the road.
Fortunately Mickey managed to grab Gary before he walked right into the bending elf.
"What've ye found?" the leprechaun asked.
"Tracks," Kelsey replied quietly. He looked up at Mickey and Gary, his face grave. "Goblin tracks."
"Goblins here?" Mickey asked. He put a hand above his eyes and peered at the distant mountains. "Five days yet," he muttered. "Too far for goblins to be wandering." He looked to Gary as though he expected the inexperienced man to confirm his suspicions.
"Goblin tracks," Kelsey said again, this time with a tone of finality.
Mickey looked all around, to the mountains and back to Kelsey. Then he understood. "Ye're thinking it's no coincidence?" he asked.
Kelsey didn't immediately respond, though his expression revealed that he considered Mickey's guess right on target. They were barely into the second day of the quest, yet they had met interference at every turn. First the nymph, then the Prince, and now recent evidence of a band of goblins (and no small band, judging by the number of tracks) nearly a hundred miles from their mountain holes.
"We'll know soon enough," Kelsey replied, studying the westering sun. "If the goblins are still about, the night will likely reveal them."
"And with us sitting open in the middle of the plain," moaned Mickey.
"Not so," said Kelsey. "The wood, Cowtangle, is but a few miles down the road. We must hurry to get there before all the daylight is gone."
Gary didn't like the thought of hurrying, but he liked the thought of meeting goblins even less. He put his helmet back on and started off as quickly as he could go. Kelsey and Mickey helped him as much as possible; Kelsey even took turns with Gary carrying the heavy shield.
By the time they reached their destination, it was so late that the trees seemed no more than a darker silhouette against a deep gray background. With his keen eyes, Kelsey led them into the thicket easily, though, and soon found a clearing where they could set camp in relative safety.
"Set no fires," Kelsey ordered, then he looked pointedly at Mickey. "And light no enchanted globes." To Gary, he added, "Keep your armor on and your spear close. If we are forced to flee, do not forget a single piece of the ancient and priceless suit."
Kelsey seemed to be trying to convince himself as much as the others as he added quietly, "The wood will hide us."
Both Mickey and Gary couldn't help thinking that the thick trees of Cowtangle might be hiding other things as well.
From the shallow depths of a fitful sleep, Gary heard Kelsey's startled cry. He opened his eyes just in time to see a form go crashing back into the brush away from the elf.
A ghostly light encircled the area - Mickey's doing, Gary knew - and everything seemed to be moving too slowly.
"Run!" Kelsey yelled, turning back towards Gary, and Mickey added, "For all yer life, lad!"
Gary's mind was wide awake now and alert, but his body moved sluggishly as he tried to rise in the bulky armor. Kelsey ran over to him; there was movement and shouting now from every direction, wild hoots and croaks.
Gary accepted the elf's free hand and started to rise, pausing just long enough to notice that Kelsey's sword dripped of blood. As if sensing his horrified hesitation, Kelsey jerked him upright with surprising strength, plopped his helmet on his head, handed him both spear and shield, and pushed him off behind Mickey.
Gary knew that the elf had joined battle right behind him only a split second later. He tried to turn back and look over his shoulder, but the helmet was not properly strapped on and it did not turn with his head.
"This way!" Mickey yelled up ahead. "Don't ye be fearing for Kelsey!"
It was all a shadowy blur to Gary when they came out of the clearing and out of Mickey's magical light. He stumbled and crashed through many small branches, desperately trying to keep up with the nimble leprechaun. The fine armor easily deflected the weight of the blows, and Gary did finally catch up to Mickey, the leprechaun casually sitting on a low branch, peering back the way they had come.
Mickey absently waved Gary by, and the frightened man stumbled on blindly, not daring to slow. Every tree seemed an ominous form; he imagined branches as sword-wielding goblin arms, reaching out to cut him down. Every bush seemed a crouched demon, poised to leap up in his face and swallow him. He tried to reason through the terror; he tried to catch his breath.
He tried.
Mickey carefully considered his next moves. If Kelsey was too distracted to see through the deception, then the leprechaun might bring him harm. But goblins were everywhere, scrambling and shouting, and goblins could see in the dark.
Kelsey might escape, Mickey surely would, but unless Mickey took some prompt action, Gary Leger was doomed.
"Tisk, tisk, trees in the mist," the leprechaun chanted, waving his hands to create the most common trick used to deter would-be leprechaun hunters. A simple illusion but a nasty one.
Every tree between Mickey and the clearing appeared to move three feet to the left.
It didn't take Kelsey long to figure out what had happened. He saw a goblin darting to the side of him run face-first into a thick oak and drop in a dizzy heap. Another goblin, a big toothy one, came straight at Kelsey, but veered to the right at the last moment and got collared by a low branch. The creature's neck snapped with a horriblecrack! and it lay quite still.
At that moment, Kelsey came to consider again that having a leprechaun around might not be such a bad thing. He started off on a circling route, but stopped as another goblin rebounded off yet another tree. The creature stood staring in confusion and scratching its head, and Kelsey, not worrying about fair play where goblins were concerned, promptly stuck it through the exposed ribs.
Then the elf slipped into the brush, carefully picking his way past Mickey's splendid illusion.
For the first time in his life, Gary Leger truly knew fear. He heard the goblins, many goblins; they seemed to be nipping right at his heels, and now he had lost his friends! What would he do if the goblins caught up with him? He didn't know how to fight with a spear and he could hardly move about in the armor.
Gary was far beyond the area of Mickey's deception, but that hardly mattered, for he could not see in the dark anyway, particularly with his loose helmet bouncing all about his shoulders, and could hardly think above his paralyzing terror. He hooked his shield on some brush and stumbled. He caught his balance quickly, but the jerk sent his helmet spinning right about, the eye slit facing behind him.
Gary realized that he was in trouble and tried to reach up and turn the thing back right, but the continuing goblin snorts and shouts overruled his rational decision to slow down. A root tripped him up and he lurched forward. Somehow, he kept his footing.
A rush of relief came over him as he stood up straight and finally maneuvered the helmet back aright, but his sigh lasted only the second it took him to register the low and thick branch directly crossing his path. Gary actually wished he hadn't turned the helmet; he would have preferred not to see it coming.
He heard the dull thud and felt the sudden jolt, and the next thing he knew, he was lying on his back thinking how pretty the stars were this night. Strangely he could still see the stars, a million stars, even though the jolt had turned his helmet back around to cover his eyes.
"Lie still and stay that way!" he heard Mickey say a few moments later. Gary managed to lift his head and tilt his enormous helmet back far enough to see the leprechaun running past, slowing to mutter a few soft chants and wave his small but plump hand Gary's way.
"Lie still and stay that way!" Mickey said again, more forcefully, and then he disappeared into the thick brush.
Gary hardly comprehended anything at that dazed moment - until he heard the croaks and hoots and floppy footfalls and remembered the monstrous pursuit. His first instinct was to jump up and flee, but he could tell from the proximity of the hoots that the closing goblins would surely catch him before he went very far, probably before he ever got to his feet. Mickey's words rang in his thoughts and Gary was wise enough to understand that he had no practical choice but to put his trust in the leprechaun. He lay back flat, very still.
The goblins, grouped together again, gained confidence with every step and every tree safely passed. They had gone beyond the area of Mickey's first illusion, though they had lost track of the nimble elf completely. It didn't trouble Geek and his surly friends, though, for they knew the general direction the fleeing human had taken - and there was just one footpath through the heavy brush in this area. Goblins could see in the dark, as could elfs, but humans were quite helpless in a thick and gloomy forest after sunset.
But it was that very night vision that betrayed the goblins again. Geek led them on wildly, hooting and beating at any hiding places in the bushes beside the trail. They skipped over roots and ducked under low branches, and scrambled across one unremarkable mound.
Gary, the unremarkable mound, tried hard to stifle his grunts as the goblin troupe thudded over him. One goblin hooked its foot between helmet and breastplate and crashed headlong onto Gary's legs. Gary thought he was surely doomed, but the creature simply got back up, brushed imaginary dirt off its filthy tunic, and continued down the path.
Then they were gone, their hoots trailing away in the distance. Gary didn't even try to stand. He lay quite still and helpless, his chest heaving as he tried futilely to calm himself. He had no idea what to do, where to go, and above everything else, he feared that his companions were surely dead or lost to him.
"Get up!" came a harsh cry a moment later. Gary recognized Kelsey's voice, then heard some light footsteps and sensed that the elf was bending over him.
Kelsey's sigh reflected as much anger as sorrow. "What mighty beast did this to you, poor soul?" Kelsey moaned, staring at Gary's backwards helmet. "Twisted your neck so completely..."
Gary reached up to straighten the great helm and the elf fell back in horror.
"I'm all right," Gary tried to explain, finally managing to turn the cumbersome thing.
"He's been stepped on, that's all," Mickey added, coming out of the underbrush to Kelsey's side. "Just a bump in the road to the stupid goblins' eyes."
"Then get up," Kelsey growled, embarrassed and angry. He reached down and roughly pulled Gary back to his feet.
"They'll not be gone long," Mickey remarked.
"Why were they here at all?" Kelsey replied grimly.
Mickey nodded, understanding where Kelsey's question was leading. Too many things seemed to be interrupting them to be explained away by coincidence. Alone, the nymph, the Prince, even the goblins, could be brushed aside as one of the many dangers of undertaking such a journey, but together, those ingredients added up to a conspiracy.
"And who might be talking to them all?" Mickey asked.
"To who?" Gary asked, trying to get included in the vague conversation.
"Who has the ear of kings and goblins alike?" Mickey went on, ignoring Gary. "And who in all the world might be making any suggestions to Leshiye?"
Kelsey didn't need to respond, for they both knew that there was only one possible solution to Mickey's questions.
"Then ye've got yer answers," Mickey snarled, suddenly gruff and dark. Gary looked at the leprechaun curiously, never having seen this side of the normally cheery sprite.
Still, Kelsey said nothing. He led them off silently to find a new place to camp.
They settled under the low-hanging boughs of a huge pine tree, quite removed from the forest outside. Despite the relative safety, though, neither Kelsey nor Mickey grew at ease. Mickey called up a tiny spot of light and took out the book, but Kelsey was on him in a blink.
"Dispel it!" the elf commanded in a soft but harsh whisper.
"It cannot be seen outside the branches," Mickey argued. "Ye mean to sit here in the dark?" He looked over to Gary. "Suren that one'd not get through the night without hurtin' himself."
Gary was more concerned with the tension in Kelsey's face than with Mickey's words. The elf seemed barely able to respond; the lines of his angular face creased under the strain of his clenched jaw. He looked at Gary and started to speak, but his golden eyes widened and he grinned weirdly, shaking his head.
"Just a bit o' reading?" Mickey asked, realizing what Kelsey had noticed and hoping the humorous sight - muddy goblin-sized footprints running down the front of Gary's armor - would bring some much-needed relief.
Kelsey moved to the natural wall, pushed aside some branches, and peered out through the tangle. Mickey took that as permission and he quickly popped his pipe in his mouth and found his place in the book.
Gary wanted to talk to the leprechaun or to Kelsey, to find out what they had decided concerning this unknown conspiracy, but he dared not say anything as the night deepened. He sat down against the tree trunk and tried to get as comfortable as possible, though he now knew better than to take off anything more than his helmet. He hoped that he would find sleep again and hoped that this time it would bring him back awake in his proper place.
He didn't believe it, though. Whatever this was - insanity, death, or perhaps a wild but very real journey - Gary was now fully convinced that it was not a dream.
He had just begun to nod off when Kelsey prodded him. Looking up into the elf's stern visage, Gary at first wondered what he had done wrong this time.
"You take this," Kelsey explained, handing Gary the long leather case that held the legendary spear. Kelsey untied it at one end and slid out the marvelous weapon. It was pitch-black, shaft and head, and even in the dim light, its polished tip gleamed as though it held some inner brooding light.
Gary couldn't pull his gaze from that crafted spearhead. Its basic shape was triangular, as long and nearly as thick as his forearm. Small barbs ran along the edges of the front tip, and the back two points were elongated and curled up towards the front. Runes, ancient and wonderfully crafted with swirling images of noble warriors and fearsome beasts, canvassed the black metal of the head and shaft.
"When it is forged whole, it will stand half again your height," Kelsey said. He gave the bared weapon to Gary to let the man feel the strength of its iron.
Gary grasped it tightly. It appeared as though it would weigh a hundred pounds, but when Kelsey let go, Gary found it to be surprisingly light.
And incredibly balanced - Gary felt as though he could heave the thing a hundred yards.
"The magic," Kelsey explained, understanding Gary's confused expression. For perhaps the first time since he had met Gary, the elf truly smiled. He took the weapon, slid it back into its case, and relied the end.
"You want me to carry it?" Gary asked him.
"Our trials are not ended," Kelsey replied. "Even if we elude the goblins, I know now that there will be other dangers along our path. I remain dedicated to my quest, but, on my word, I must keep safe the artifacts of King Cedric. If the goblins fall upon us, I will lead them away. You must then get the spear and armor back to Baron Pwyll." There was no compromise in Kelsey's tone.
"Give me your word of honor," he demanded.
Gary nodded and Kelsey walked away.
Gary was glad that Kelsey had entrusted him with so important a task, but the elf's uncharacteristic behavior only made him more uncomfortable with the events at hand. Something very dangerous was going on around him, something that even his new friends, who seemed so superior, greatly feared.
Mickey did not alleviate Gary's concerns a moment later, when the leprechaun threwThe Hobbit off of Gary's chest and gave a resounding "Oh, pooh!"
"What's the matter?" Gary asked, scooping up the book.
"Calling himself an historian, is yer J. R. R. Tolkien fellow?" Mickey asked incredulously. "And what a pretentious sort to be calling himself by his initials like that! Afraid to use his whole name?"
"What?" was all that Gary could sputter.
"Read at the folded page!" Mickey replied. Gary found the mark easily enough, but he could hardly read the flowing runes that Mickey had placed where the typeset had once been.
"Sunlight turning trolls to stone?" Mickey spouted, seeing Gary at a loss. "Bag o' blarney! Every fool's knowing that to be a rumor started by the trolls alone. They're the ones carving troll statues, making people think it's trolls turned by sunlight. How many stupid travelers have turned back on the trolls chasing them, pointing a finger and laughing when the sun peeked over the rim? How many stupid travelers then found themselves stuffed into a troll's hungry mouth?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Gary cried.
Kelsey jumped in between them, his flashing eyes reminding them that silence was their ally.
Mickey waved his hand furiously, his magic pullingThe Hobbit from Gary's grasp and levitating it back to his waiting hand. "Mr. J. R. R. Tolkien, Historian," he muttered sarcastically. "How many stupid travelers will get eaten after reading yer bag o' blarney?"
Gary just looked at Kelsey and smiled sheepishly.
The nervous elf did not smile back.