Thief of Hearts
Page 71
His face showed he was uncomfortable now and my passion deflated. I softened my voice. “Look, I’m not here to force you into coming back. If you genuinely don’t want to be in school, then don’t be there. But don’t lie to me and tell me it’s not for you, because I remember how excited you looked the first time I introduced you to my dad. You looked like you’d found something important. Something life-changing.”
Stu’s gaze seared into mine. “Yeah well, things change.”
I stared at the ground. “If you . . . if being around me makes you too uncomfortable, then I can have you enrolled in a difference class. Just please don’t quit. I’d never forgive myself if you gave up because of what’s happened between us.”
His voice was soft when he spoke. “Andrea, I only ever enrolled to get to you. It’s not like I’m giving up my life’s dream. Look at me, I’m not cut out to be an academic.”
“You can be whatever you want to be,” I whispered.
Stu rubbed his neck. “Maybe I don’t want to be anything.”
I couldn’t take the tone of his voice, the self-loathing. Stepping forward, I touched his forearm and stared up into his eyes. “Don’t talk like that.”
His gaze darkened, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. When his attention fell to my mouth I dropped my hand and took a step backward. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.”
I turned to go back to my car, but Stu’s voice stopped me. “Fucking hell, Andrea. Wait.”
I faced him again, his expression torn as several thoughts flickered across his face. He gripped the back of his neck with both hands and exhaled heavily. I waited for him to speak, expectant.
“What if I said I’d come back?” he asked finally.
“Stu, that would be fantastic. You’re making the right decision.”
“Hold your horses. I have some conditions.”
I bobbed my head. “Okay.”
“I want you to give me those extra tutoring sessions you offered a couple weeks ago. If I’m going to do this, I need to tackle my weaknesses head-on.”
All of a sudden my enthusiasm waned. This sounded a little too much like a trick to me, a way to spend time alone with me. My expression grew suspicious. “I’ll tutor you but no funny business.”
One dark eyebrow went up. “Funny business?”
I huffed a breath. “You know what I mean.”
“I won’t mess you around, Andrea.” He paused, his face serious when he amended, “Not again.”
“Okay, well, is there anything else?”
Stu levelled me with a serious look. “You have to forget everything that came before.”
I crinkled my nose. “What do you mean?”
“I want a clean slate. I’ll come back to class. I’ll study every day and try my hardest to do well, but you need to forget everything that’s gone on between us. Pretend we’re meeting for the very first time.”
“Stu, I can’t just forget—”
“Yes, you can. I can’t have you looking at me with those sad brown eyes, constantly reminding me what a shit I am. That’s why I couldn’t continue coming to class. If you keep looking at me like that I won’t be able to concentrate. So it’s a clean slate or nothing.”
His ultimatum had my heart pounding fast. Truthfully, the idea both relieved and pained me. Even though it hurt to be around him, I had to admit that I missed not seeing him every day. Our time together hadn’t just been sexual, it had been emotional—a friendship. We’d laughed together, bantered, enjoyed each other’s company, and yes, also had some absolutely mind-blowing sex in between. It was my first real relationship since Mark and though I’d told him it was over, some small part of me was disappointed that he hadn’t fought harder to get me to take him back. Maybe I wasn’t just angry that he’d given up on his education. Maybe I was angry because he’d given up on us.
Were the two so intertwined?
I lifted my gaze to his and finally replied, “Okay, clean slate. I’m not sure I can forget but I promise I won’t bring it up. As far as I’m concerned you’re just a student and I’m just your teacher.”
I held out my hand for him to shake. Stu didn’t hesitate to take it, his warm fingers sliding against mine and making my skin tingle. When he could make me feel so much with a single touch, was it even possible for us to have a clean slate? Well, I was willing to try and find out. For him.
He smiled down at me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Anderson.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Mr Cross.”
I returned his smile, and when I pulled my hand away it was stained black with motor oil.
***
I was a little wary when I pulled up outside Lee’s restaurant a few days later. Stu had returned to class, but this evening was our first private lesson and I wasn’t sure what to expect. Normally, I’d just have him stay back after class, but he was working some shifts for Lee so we organised to meet here instead.
It wasn’t too packed when I entered, only a few tables occupied with customers. Stu sat at a table at the very back of the restaurant, a laptop opened in front of him and a stack of papers to his left. It looked like he’d been working for hours, his hair standing up in all directions like he’d run his hand through it one too many times.
He was so engrossed in his work that he didn’t immediately notice me. I peeked over his shoulder to find spreadsheets full of numbers on the screen.
“Hi,” I said and he glanced up.
“Andrea, hey, come sit down. Can I get you anything? A drink, maybe?”
“Some mint tea would be great if you have it,” I said.
God, he was beautiful. He wore a T-shirt with the restaurant’s name on and a pair of dark blue jeans. Casual, but oh so sexy. He didn’t even have to try.
I really needed to stop thinking thoughts like that if I was going to be around him. Clean slate. He pulled out a seat for me then walked over to the counter where Lee stood counting money from the till. I busied myself taking the books I needed for the lesson out of my bag. A few minutes later he returned with my tea and a beer for himself.
“Andie,” Lee said, “I just made a fresh batch of Guinness bread. You want to try it with my French onion soup? I swear it’s the best thing ever.”
Stu’s gaze seared into mine. “Yeah well, things change.”
I stared at the ground. “If you . . . if being around me makes you too uncomfortable, then I can have you enrolled in a difference class. Just please don’t quit. I’d never forgive myself if you gave up because of what’s happened between us.”
His voice was soft when he spoke. “Andrea, I only ever enrolled to get to you. It’s not like I’m giving up my life’s dream. Look at me, I’m not cut out to be an academic.”
“You can be whatever you want to be,” I whispered.
Stu rubbed his neck. “Maybe I don’t want to be anything.”
I couldn’t take the tone of his voice, the self-loathing. Stepping forward, I touched his forearm and stared up into his eyes. “Don’t talk like that.”
His gaze darkened, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. When his attention fell to my mouth I dropped my hand and took a step backward. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.”
I turned to go back to my car, but Stu’s voice stopped me. “Fucking hell, Andrea. Wait.”
I faced him again, his expression torn as several thoughts flickered across his face. He gripped the back of his neck with both hands and exhaled heavily. I waited for him to speak, expectant.
“What if I said I’d come back?” he asked finally.
“Stu, that would be fantastic. You’re making the right decision.”
“Hold your horses. I have some conditions.”
I bobbed my head. “Okay.”
“I want you to give me those extra tutoring sessions you offered a couple weeks ago. If I’m going to do this, I need to tackle my weaknesses head-on.”
All of a sudden my enthusiasm waned. This sounded a little too much like a trick to me, a way to spend time alone with me. My expression grew suspicious. “I’ll tutor you but no funny business.”
One dark eyebrow went up. “Funny business?”
I huffed a breath. “You know what I mean.”
“I won’t mess you around, Andrea.” He paused, his face serious when he amended, “Not again.”
“Okay, well, is there anything else?”
Stu levelled me with a serious look. “You have to forget everything that came before.”
I crinkled my nose. “What do you mean?”
“I want a clean slate. I’ll come back to class. I’ll study every day and try my hardest to do well, but you need to forget everything that’s gone on between us. Pretend we’re meeting for the very first time.”
“Stu, I can’t just forget—”
“Yes, you can. I can’t have you looking at me with those sad brown eyes, constantly reminding me what a shit I am. That’s why I couldn’t continue coming to class. If you keep looking at me like that I won’t be able to concentrate. So it’s a clean slate or nothing.”
His ultimatum had my heart pounding fast. Truthfully, the idea both relieved and pained me. Even though it hurt to be around him, I had to admit that I missed not seeing him every day. Our time together hadn’t just been sexual, it had been emotional—a friendship. We’d laughed together, bantered, enjoyed each other’s company, and yes, also had some absolutely mind-blowing sex in between. It was my first real relationship since Mark and though I’d told him it was over, some small part of me was disappointed that he hadn’t fought harder to get me to take him back. Maybe I wasn’t just angry that he’d given up on his education. Maybe I was angry because he’d given up on us.
Were the two so intertwined?
I lifted my gaze to his and finally replied, “Okay, clean slate. I’m not sure I can forget but I promise I won’t bring it up. As far as I’m concerned you’re just a student and I’m just your teacher.”
I held out my hand for him to shake. Stu didn’t hesitate to take it, his warm fingers sliding against mine and making my skin tingle. When he could make me feel so much with a single touch, was it even possible for us to have a clean slate? Well, I was willing to try and find out. For him.
He smiled down at me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Anderson.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Mr Cross.”
I returned his smile, and when I pulled my hand away it was stained black with motor oil.
***
I was a little wary when I pulled up outside Lee’s restaurant a few days later. Stu had returned to class, but this evening was our first private lesson and I wasn’t sure what to expect. Normally, I’d just have him stay back after class, but he was working some shifts for Lee so we organised to meet here instead.
It wasn’t too packed when I entered, only a few tables occupied with customers. Stu sat at a table at the very back of the restaurant, a laptop opened in front of him and a stack of papers to his left. It looked like he’d been working for hours, his hair standing up in all directions like he’d run his hand through it one too many times.
He was so engrossed in his work that he didn’t immediately notice me. I peeked over his shoulder to find spreadsheets full of numbers on the screen.
“Hi,” I said and he glanced up.
“Andrea, hey, come sit down. Can I get you anything? A drink, maybe?”
“Some mint tea would be great if you have it,” I said.
God, he was beautiful. He wore a T-shirt with the restaurant’s name on and a pair of dark blue jeans. Casual, but oh so sexy. He didn’t even have to try.
I really needed to stop thinking thoughts like that if I was going to be around him. Clean slate. He pulled out a seat for me then walked over to the counter where Lee stood counting money from the till. I busied myself taking the books I needed for the lesson out of my bag. A few minutes later he returned with my tea and a beer for himself.
“Andie,” Lee said, “I just made a fresh batch of Guinness bread. You want to try it with my French onion soup? I swear it’s the best thing ever.”
