Thirty and a Half Excuses
Page 100
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I squared my shoulders. “I believe your mother called it ‘poor white trash.’”
Joe cringed.
“Why are you doing this?”
He looked at me with a blank expression, but I could see the fear in his eyes.
“Where’s my Joe?” My voice broke. “Because he would never talk about using me for votes.”
Scrunching his eyes closed, he shook his head. “That all came out wrong. I’m doing this all wrong.”
“Joe McAllister couldn’t give two figs about a political office. Joe McAllister wanted to be with me and barbeque and take picnics and walk Muffy.”
He turned his head to look out the window.
“Your mother called me a pretty diversion from all the bad things that had happened to you this year.” I swallowed the lump of fear in my throat. “Is that true? Is that what I am to you?”
“God, no.” Pain and tears filled his eyes. “How can you ask that?” His hand tightened around mine. “Do you even know how much I love you?”
“You know, you were right.” I sat back in my chair, pushing my plate away. “You’re very obviously two different men. Joe McAllister—my Joe—and Joe Simmons—the man you’ve fought so hard not to be. You’re turning back into him.”
His face hardened. “You’re the one who told me there was only one me.”
He was right. And so was I.
“So you plan on using the story of our entrepreneurial spirit in the campaign?”
He hesitated. “If you agree.”
“What else do you want me to do?”
His jaw tightened and he refused to look at me. “You’ll need to distance yourself from characters like Bruce Wayne and David for a while.”
“And what about Neely Kate?” I asked without emotion. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t blown up yet.
From the way Joe was answering, neither could he. “I’m not sure yet.”
I tilted my head. “So I need to cut the few friends I have out of my life. Mason too?” When he didn’t answer, I swallowed my disgust, but kept my voice expressionless. “I guess I can work at the nursery since it will help your campaign.”
“For a while anyway, until we get married. We can’t live in Henryetta since it’s not in the same jurisdiction.” He wouldn’t look at me but his hand held onto mine as though he’d drown if he let go. “I guess we’ll live in El Dorado when we’re not in Little Rock.”
“Okay,” I said, waiting to see how far he’d take this.
“Okay?” his gaze swung back to me, his eyes wide. He stood and grabbed the edge of the counter in front of the sink, his back to me. “Are you even listening to what I’m asking you to do?” He spun around to face me, horror in his eyes. “Are you seriously considering doing it?”
My mouth dropped open, my head muddled in confusion.
“I’m sitting here listening to the words coming out of my mouth and even I can’t believe I’m asking this of you.” He ran his hands over his head, his face contorting in agony. “I can’t believe I even tried to make this work. I was so stupid. But I couldn’t face losing you.”
Fear coursed through my veins, and I stood in front of him. “Don’t do this, Joe. I know you. You don’t want to do this.”
“I’m not strong enough to fight them, Rose.” He shook his head, fighting his tears. “You’re the strong one. Not me.”
“What are you talking about?” I grabbed his hands. “That’s not true, Joe. I’ve spent four months with you. I know you.”
His eyes glassed over. “No. You knew the me I so desperately wanted to be. A man free to live his life without family obligations. Free to love you.” His chin trembled.
“They’re holding something over your head,” I whispered. “That’s why it took you so long last night. You were telling them no thank you, and they threw something bad at you to make sure you did what they said.” What could be bad enough to make him do this? “It’s about me.”
His eyes sunk closed.
“No more secrets, Joe. We can’t make this work if we have secrets.”
“You don’t want to know,” he pleaded. “Just let it go. Let me go.”
“Let you go? No! We can fight this together.”
“Rose, my parents are terrible people.” His face paled, and he rested his forehead in his palms. “It’s not just about you and none of it’s true. But the media doesn’t care. They’ll run with it, and no one pays any attention to retractions.”
“What is it?”
“They’ve concocted some nonsense about Mike bribing county officials for his construction business.”
My heartbeat sped up. “Oh, that’s bad.”
“They have photos of Violet with Brody McIntosh coming out of a motel. They plan to say they had an affair and left their spouses for each other.”
“Oh, God.” They knew about Violet. I couldn’t let them expose her affair. My stomach tumbled. “What about me?”
“It’s not true.”
“I know. What is it?”
He looked green. “My father has set up an account in your name, and he had someone postdate the opening for last May.”
“Why would they do that?”
Joe cringed.
“Why are you doing this?”
He looked at me with a blank expression, but I could see the fear in his eyes.
“Where’s my Joe?” My voice broke. “Because he would never talk about using me for votes.”
Scrunching his eyes closed, he shook his head. “That all came out wrong. I’m doing this all wrong.”
“Joe McAllister couldn’t give two figs about a political office. Joe McAllister wanted to be with me and barbeque and take picnics and walk Muffy.”
He turned his head to look out the window.
“Your mother called me a pretty diversion from all the bad things that had happened to you this year.” I swallowed the lump of fear in my throat. “Is that true? Is that what I am to you?”
“God, no.” Pain and tears filled his eyes. “How can you ask that?” His hand tightened around mine. “Do you even know how much I love you?”
“You know, you were right.” I sat back in my chair, pushing my plate away. “You’re very obviously two different men. Joe McAllister—my Joe—and Joe Simmons—the man you’ve fought so hard not to be. You’re turning back into him.”
His face hardened. “You’re the one who told me there was only one me.”
He was right. And so was I.
“So you plan on using the story of our entrepreneurial spirit in the campaign?”
He hesitated. “If you agree.”
“What else do you want me to do?”
His jaw tightened and he refused to look at me. “You’ll need to distance yourself from characters like Bruce Wayne and David for a while.”
“And what about Neely Kate?” I asked without emotion. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t blown up yet.
From the way Joe was answering, neither could he. “I’m not sure yet.”
I tilted my head. “So I need to cut the few friends I have out of my life. Mason too?” When he didn’t answer, I swallowed my disgust, but kept my voice expressionless. “I guess I can work at the nursery since it will help your campaign.”
“For a while anyway, until we get married. We can’t live in Henryetta since it’s not in the same jurisdiction.” He wouldn’t look at me but his hand held onto mine as though he’d drown if he let go. “I guess we’ll live in El Dorado when we’re not in Little Rock.”
“Okay,” I said, waiting to see how far he’d take this.
“Okay?” his gaze swung back to me, his eyes wide. He stood and grabbed the edge of the counter in front of the sink, his back to me. “Are you even listening to what I’m asking you to do?” He spun around to face me, horror in his eyes. “Are you seriously considering doing it?”
My mouth dropped open, my head muddled in confusion.
“I’m sitting here listening to the words coming out of my mouth and even I can’t believe I’m asking this of you.” He ran his hands over his head, his face contorting in agony. “I can’t believe I even tried to make this work. I was so stupid. But I couldn’t face losing you.”
Fear coursed through my veins, and I stood in front of him. “Don’t do this, Joe. I know you. You don’t want to do this.”
“I’m not strong enough to fight them, Rose.” He shook his head, fighting his tears. “You’re the strong one. Not me.”
“What are you talking about?” I grabbed his hands. “That’s not true, Joe. I’ve spent four months with you. I know you.”
His eyes glassed over. “No. You knew the me I so desperately wanted to be. A man free to live his life without family obligations. Free to love you.” His chin trembled.
“They’re holding something over your head,” I whispered. “That’s why it took you so long last night. You were telling them no thank you, and they threw something bad at you to make sure you did what they said.” What could be bad enough to make him do this? “It’s about me.”
His eyes sunk closed.
“No more secrets, Joe. We can’t make this work if we have secrets.”
“You don’t want to know,” he pleaded. “Just let it go. Let me go.”
“Let you go? No! We can fight this together.”
“Rose, my parents are terrible people.” His face paled, and he rested his forehead in his palms. “It’s not just about you and none of it’s true. But the media doesn’t care. They’ll run with it, and no one pays any attention to retractions.”
“What is it?”
“They’ve concocted some nonsense about Mike bribing county officials for his construction business.”
My heartbeat sped up. “Oh, that’s bad.”
“They have photos of Violet with Brody McIntosh coming out of a motel. They plan to say they had an affair and left their spouses for each other.”
“Oh, God.” They knew about Violet. I couldn’t let them expose her affair. My stomach tumbled. “What about me?”
“It’s not true.”
“I know. What is it?”
He looked green. “My father has set up an account in your name, and he had someone postdate the opening for last May.”
“Why would they do that?”
