Thirty and a Half Excuses
Page 57
“I may have taken charge of it, but I’ve had your love and support, and Violet’s been there for me too, in her own way. Bruce Wayne has no one.” He started to say something, but I stopped him. “I don’t want to argue about this. I don’t want to argue with you at all.”
His face softened. “I’m sorry. I know how important this is to you, and it’s just one of the many reasons I love you. But I’m scared for you, Rose. I think you’re taking an unnecessary risk. Just tell me you’ll consider turning down the job.”
Joe didn’t have to worry. I was still weighing all my options. “I’ll think about it.”
He kissed my forehead, his lips lingering longer than necessary. “Thank you.”
I nodded.
When the spaghetti was done, we sat at the kitchen table and I picked at my food. I’d been starving earlier, but I was getting closer and closer to finding out Joe’s secret.
Eating lunch first had been a bad idea.
Chapter Seventeen
I dropped my fork on my plate. “I can’t do this.”
Joe’s hand stopped mid-air, and he carefully set his fork on his plate. “You can’t do what?”
“I can’t pretend everything’s okay. It’s not okay. I’m ready for you to tell me now.”
He wiped his hands off on his napkin and stood. “Let’s sit in the living room.”
This really was serious.
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. He followed me as I moved into the other room, as though I were being led to my execution. I sat on the sofa, expecting him to sit next to me, but he sat in the chair to my left, resting his hands on his knees.
“You’ve already figured out that Mason and I have history.”
I forced my lungs to inflate so I wouldn’t hyperventilate.
He opened his eyes, looking sad. “You also know that Hilary and I grew up together and she followed me to Little Rock. We were seeing each other off and on. We’ve done that a lot since we were in high school.”
“You say that like you plan on seeing her again.”
“Not a chance. We are definitely done.” His face paled. I’d never seen him look so nervous, not even during the whole Daniel Crocker mess. “But we were on a break, and I started seeing this other woman.”
I had a hard time picturing Joe with other women, so the jealousy that reared its ugly head caught me by surprise.
“I met her at a bar.” His hands began to rub the denim over his legs. “I drank a lot then.” He looked into my eyes. “I wasn’t happy, Rose. In fact, I was miserable, and I was looking for something to fill the hole in my heart. Anyway, I met Savannah, and there was something between us that felt deeper than with most of the women who paraded through my life when I was on a break from Hilary.”
I didn’t like how this was going.
“Savannah and I started seeing each other. She was in Little Rock going to law school at the University of Arkansas, and I’d graduated from law school a few years earlier, so we had that in common.” He swallowed.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the rest. I didn’t particularly care to know details about his former dating life.
“Hilary and I weren’t really done yet at the time. I couldn’t bring myself to cut my ties to her.” He ran his hand over his head. “Hilary came over late one night and begged me to come back. She had some hold on me then that I can’t describe. Savannah was better for me, but I was too stupid to see it, so I ended things with her and went back to Hilary.” Joe stared out the window, refusing to look at me.
“That’s not so bad,” I finally said.
“That’s not the bad part.” His voice cracked.
“Okay.” My stomach fell to my feet.
“Savannah didn’t take it well, and I have to admit that I didn’t handle the whole thing the way I should have. I was a coward. She started calling me, making excuses for me to come over to her place. I went the first few times. She told me I’d left some clothes and tools there. Then I’d show up, and she’d try to convince me that Hilary was stringing me along, that I needed to move on. With her.” He shook his head, his jaw clenching. “She was right, but I was too stupid to see it. I told her that she and I were over, and I asked her to quit calling me. I wasn’t very nice about it. In fact, I was downright mean. But she kept calling, and Hilary started to get pissed. And a pissed Hilary was something I tried to avoid at all costs.”
My breath was coming in short bursts. What if Joe decided to go back to Hilary now? Would I beg him to come back to me? Would he treat me like that?
He leaned back in the chair, still avoiding my gaze. “Savannah ran out of excuses, and she stopped calling for a while, but then one day she called to tell me that someone was following her, that she’d seen this person lurking outside her apartment. She said she was getting a lot of hang up calls too. She wanted to know what to do about it. I figured it was her way of trying to get me back. So I told her to call the police, which she did. But I hung out at the same bar as the guys in the Little Rock PD. I’d told them all about Savannah and how she’d been looking for excuses to get me over to her place. They checked it out and said they found nothing. Turns out she called them several times.”
I felt like I was going to throw up.
“One night Hilary and I had a fight over God knows what. She was still pissed and I was drinking, trying to make myself feel better, not that it ever did any good. It was late when Savannah called.” He swallowed again, his face pale and clammy. “She told me there were noises outside her apartment, and she wanted me to come over and check it out. I refused and told her to call the police. She said, ‘They never take me seriously. I need your help, Joe.’” He laughed, but it was an ugly sound. “I told her to leave me the hell alone and call 911. I found out later that she did. They came over and did a cursory check, then left.”
His face softened. “I’m sorry. I know how important this is to you, and it’s just one of the many reasons I love you. But I’m scared for you, Rose. I think you’re taking an unnecessary risk. Just tell me you’ll consider turning down the job.”
Joe didn’t have to worry. I was still weighing all my options. “I’ll think about it.”
He kissed my forehead, his lips lingering longer than necessary. “Thank you.”
I nodded.
When the spaghetti was done, we sat at the kitchen table and I picked at my food. I’d been starving earlier, but I was getting closer and closer to finding out Joe’s secret.
Eating lunch first had been a bad idea.
Chapter Seventeen
I dropped my fork on my plate. “I can’t do this.”
Joe’s hand stopped mid-air, and he carefully set his fork on his plate. “You can’t do what?”
“I can’t pretend everything’s okay. It’s not okay. I’m ready for you to tell me now.”
He wiped his hands off on his napkin and stood. “Let’s sit in the living room.”
This really was serious.
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. He followed me as I moved into the other room, as though I were being led to my execution. I sat on the sofa, expecting him to sit next to me, but he sat in the chair to my left, resting his hands on his knees.
“You’ve already figured out that Mason and I have history.”
I forced my lungs to inflate so I wouldn’t hyperventilate.
He opened his eyes, looking sad. “You also know that Hilary and I grew up together and she followed me to Little Rock. We were seeing each other off and on. We’ve done that a lot since we were in high school.”
“You say that like you plan on seeing her again.”
“Not a chance. We are definitely done.” His face paled. I’d never seen him look so nervous, not even during the whole Daniel Crocker mess. “But we were on a break, and I started seeing this other woman.”
I had a hard time picturing Joe with other women, so the jealousy that reared its ugly head caught me by surprise.
“I met her at a bar.” His hands began to rub the denim over his legs. “I drank a lot then.” He looked into my eyes. “I wasn’t happy, Rose. In fact, I was miserable, and I was looking for something to fill the hole in my heart. Anyway, I met Savannah, and there was something between us that felt deeper than with most of the women who paraded through my life when I was on a break from Hilary.”
I didn’t like how this was going.
“Savannah and I started seeing each other. She was in Little Rock going to law school at the University of Arkansas, and I’d graduated from law school a few years earlier, so we had that in common.” He swallowed.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the rest. I didn’t particularly care to know details about his former dating life.
“Hilary and I weren’t really done yet at the time. I couldn’t bring myself to cut my ties to her.” He ran his hand over his head. “Hilary came over late one night and begged me to come back. She had some hold on me then that I can’t describe. Savannah was better for me, but I was too stupid to see it, so I ended things with her and went back to Hilary.” Joe stared out the window, refusing to look at me.
“That’s not so bad,” I finally said.
“That’s not the bad part.” His voice cracked.
“Okay.” My stomach fell to my feet.
“Savannah didn’t take it well, and I have to admit that I didn’t handle the whole thing the way I should have. I was a coward. She started calling me, making excuses for me to come over to her place. I went the first few times. She told me I’d left some clothes and tools there. Then I’d show up, and she’d try to convince me that Hilary was stringing me along, that I needed to move on. With her.” He shook his head, his jaw clenching. “She was right, but I was too stupid to see it. I told her that she and I were over, and I asked her to quit calling me. I wasn’t very nice about it. In fact, I was downright mean. But she kept calling, and Hilary started to get pissed. And a pissed Hilary was something I tried to avoid at all costs.”
My breath was coming in short bursts. What if Joe decided to go back to Hilary now? Would I beg him to come back to me? Would he treat me like that?
He leaned back in the chair, still avoiding my gaze. “Savannah ran out of excuses, and she stopped calling for a while, but then one day she called to tell me that someone was following her, that she’d seen this person lurking outside her apartment. She said she was getting a lot of hang up calls too. She wanted to know what to do about it. I figured it was her way of trying to get me back. So I told her to call the police, which she did. But I hung out at the same bar as the guys in the Little Rock PD. I’d told them all about Savannah and how she’d been looking for excuses to get me over to her place. They checked it out and said they found nothing. Turns out she called them several times.”
I felt like I was going to throw up.
“One night Hilary and I had a fight over God knows what. She was still pissed and I was drinking, trying to make myself feel better, not that it ever did any good. It was late when Savannah called.” He swallowed again, his face pale and clammy. “She told me there were noises outside her apartment, and she wanted me to come over and check it out. I refused and told her to call the police. She said, ‘They never take me seriously. I need your help, Joe.’” He laughed, but it was an ugly sound. “I told her to leave me the hell alone and call 911. I found out later that she did. They came over and did a cursory check, then left.”
