Thirty and a Half Excuses
Page 85
I kept running, but Mason cursed under his breath as he stopped to pull out his wallet. I was opening the truck door when he reached me. “Rose. Don’t leave yet.”
Shutting the door, I faced the window, refusing to look at him.
He stood behind me. “You’re right.”
I closed my eyes.
“I would have tried you.” I could tell he was devastated to admit it. “I’d like to think I wouldn’t have, but you and I both know I was a hard son of a bitch when I came here. And we also both know you’re the one who helped me remember why I do this god-forsaken job.” He leaned closer to my ear. “Maybe that’s why I feel like I owe it to you to help you.”
“Help me do what?” I spun around to face him. “Help me remember how awful it was?”
Pain filled his eyes. “Yes.”
“Why would you do that, Mason? Why would you purposely hurt me? I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends. That’s why I’m doing it. You’ve been through more things in the last few months than anybody should have to go through, but you’re not dealing with it. You’re sweeping it under the rug, thinking it will go away if you just ignore it. But you can’t do that, Rose. You have to face it. Every last ugly bit of it.”
I shook my head, crying again.
“Until you face all the demons of your past, you’ll never be able to move into the future.” He pulled me into a hug, one hand on my back and the other digging into my hair. “I care about you Rose, more than you know.”
I cried into his shirt for far too long before finally pulling back, embarrassed. “I’ve ruined your dress shirt.”
“I don’t care about my shirt.”
I smoothed my hand across the wet spot on the blue oxford cloth. I knew he cared about me, and I was grateful for it. But I also realized he liked me more than a friend. As much as I knew I should send him away, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to lose him. What did that say about me? “Thank you.”
“For making you cry?”
“No, for caring about me enough to risk our friendship to help me.” I could see the truth in his words. I was stuck in my past. I needed to let it go so I would no longer hear the ghost of my mother telling me I wasn’t good enough. So I’d start believing that I deserved the good things in my life.
“So we’re okay?” he asked, but he still looked worried.
“We’re good.” But I felt terrible. My head hurt from crying. “But I just want to go home and take a nap.”
“Okay.” He hesitated. “But I want to call you later and check on you. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
He took a step back. “If you need me for anything, and I mean anything, call me. Promise.”
“I promise.”
I climbed into the truck and drove home, the memory of my vision still playing in my head. I was no closer to helping that poor woman than I was when I first saw it. Muffy was glad to see me when I got home, and as soon as she did her business, I told her we were going inside so I could take a nap.
She was so happy I was with her that she didn’t put up a fuss, settling onto the bed next to me. I drifted off almost immediately, waking up to a muffled ring. Still groggy, I blinked as I tried to make out the alarm clock. It was five-fifteen. I’d slept for over two hours.
I realized the ringing was my cell phone, which was still in the kitchen. It had stopped ringing by the time I got up, but it started ringing again before I could reach it. I was surprised to see that it was Joe calling.
“Rose, why haven’t you called me back?” he asked, sounding worried.
I rubbed my eyes, still feeling half-asleep. “I didn’t know you’d called.”
“I’ve been trying to reach you since this morning. You never answered.” He paused. “I thought you decided you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“No.” I sat in the kitchen chair, resting my forehead on my hand. “My phone died, and I couldn’t get to a charger until this afternoon. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“What are you doing calling me and asking me to call you back? Are you done with your undercover job?”
“Yeah, we made an arrest early this morning.”
I sat up, relief washing through me. “Does that mean you’re coming home?” I needed Joe to hold me and tell me everything would be okay. The Henryetta police might not help me save the poor woman, but I felt certain that he would.
“Home.” His voice choked up. “Are you still my home, Rose?”
“Of course, Joe. I told you how much I love you.”
“I love you so much.” He sounded like he was about to cry. “But I have a favor to ask.”
Something in his voice set the hairs on my neck on end. “Of course.”
He hesitated. “My mother…” He cleared his throat. “My parents have planned a dinner tonight, and they’re insisting that I bring you to meet them.”
My breath hitched. “In El Dorado?”
“You still have time to make it. It’s at seven, and it will only take you about fifty minutes to get here.”
I sat up, panicking. “Joe, I’ve had a horrible day, and I only have about forty-five minutes to get ready.”
“I’ve seen you get ready in less than half that time.”
I pushed down my fear. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was face Joe’s family, especially with everything else I was handling. “Can’t I come another time?”
Shutting the door, I faced the window, refusing to look at him.
He stood behind me. “You’re right.”
I closed my eyes.
“I would have tried you.” I could tell he was devastated to admit it. “I’d like to think I wouldn’t have, but you and I both know I was a hard son of a bitch when I came here. And we also both know you’re the one who helped me remember why I do this god-forsaken job.” He leaned closer to my ear. “Maybe that’s why I feel like I owe it to you to help you.”
“Help me do what?” I spun around to face him. “Help me remember how awful it was?”
Pain filled his eyes. “Yes.”
“Why would you do that, Mason? Why would you purposely hurt me? I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends. That’s why I’m doing it. You’ve been through more things in the last few months than anybody should have to go through, but you’re not dealing with it. You’re sweeping it under the rug, thinking it will go away if you just ignore it. But you can’t do that, Rose. You have to face it. Every last ugly bit of it.”
I shook my head, crying again.
“Until you face all the demons of your past, you’ll never be able to move into the future.” He pulled me into a hug, one hand on my back and the other digging into my hair. “I care about you Rose, more than you know.”
I cried into his shirt for far too long before finally pulling back, embarrassed. “I’ve ruined your dress shirt.”
“I don’t care about my shirt.”
I smoothed my hand across the wet spot on the blue oxford cloth. I knew he cared about me, and I was grateful for it. But I also realized he liked me more than a friend. As much as I knew I should send him away, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to lose him. What did that say about me? “Thank you.”
“For making you cry?”
“No, for caring about me enough to risk our friendship to help me.” I could see the truth in his words. I was stuck in my past. I needed to let it go so I would no longer hear the ghost of my mother telling me I wasn’t good enough. So I’d start believing that I deserved the good things in my life.
“So we’re okay?” he asked, but he still looked worried.
“We’re good.” But I felt terrible. My head hurt from crying. “But I just want to go home and take a nap.”
“Okay.” He hesitated. “But I want to call you later and check on you. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
He took a step back. “If you need me for anything, and I mean anything, call me. Promise.”
“I promise.”
I climbed into the truck and drove home, the memory of my vision still playing in my head. I was no closer to helping that poor woman than I was when I first saw it. Muffy was glad to see me when I got home, and as soon as she did her business, I told her we were going inside so I could take a nap.
She was so happy I was with her that she didn’t put up a fuss, settling onto the bed next to me. I drifted off almost immediately, waking up to a muffled ring. Still groggy, I blinked as I tried to make out the alarm clock. It was five-fifteen. I’d slept for over two hours.
I realized the ringing was my cell phone, which was still in the kitchen. It had stopped ringing by the time I got up, but it started ringing again before I could reach it. I was surprised to see that it was Joe calling.
“Rose, why haven’t you called me back?” he asked, sounding worried.
I rubbed my eyes, still feeling half-asleep. “I didn’t know you’d called.”
“I’ve been trying to reach you since this morning. You never answered.” He paused. “I thought you decided you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“No.” I sat in the kitchen chair, resting my forehead on my hand. “My phone died, and I couldn’t get to a charger until this afternoon. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“What are you doing calling me and asking me to call you back? Are you done with your undercover job?”
“Yeah, we made an arrest early this morning.”
I sat up, relief washing through me. “Does that mean you’re coming home?” I needed Joe to hold me and tell me everything would be okay. The Henryetta police might not help me save the poor woman, but I felt certain that he would.
“Home.” His voice choked up. “Are you still my home, Rose?”
“Of course, Joe. I told you how much I love you.”
“I love you so much.” He sounded like he was about to cry. “But I have a favor to ask.”
Something in his voice set the hairs on my neck on end. “Of course.”
He hesitated. “My mother…” He cleared his throat. “My parents have planned a dinner tonight, and they’re insisting that I bring you to meet them.”
My breath hitched. “In El Dorado?”
“You still have time to make it. It’s at seven, and it will only take you about fifty minutes to get here.”
I sat up, panicking. “Joe, I’ve had a horrible day, and I only have about forty-five minutes to get ready.”
“I’ve seen you get ready in less than half that time.”
I pushed down my fear. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was face Joe’s family, especially with everything else I was handling. “Can’t I come another time?”
