Thirty-Six and a Half Motives
Page 44
I gave her a half-shrug and then started walking, not surprised when they followed. I needed to keep moving, anything to help me stop thinking about Mason breaking more rules for me. “What did you find out about Hilary?”
“She’s not at home,” Neely Kate said. “She’s volunteering at the food pantry at Jonah’s church.”
“Hilary? Volunteering at a food pantry?”
“Giving back to the less fortunate and undeserving is part of the socialite life,” Neely Kate said in a fake genteel drawl. “She’s keepin’ up appearances.”
“Well, if she’s keepin’ up appearances, maybe she’ll be forced to be nice to us.”
“Does that mean we get to keep all of the cupcakes?” Neely Kate asked.
“You know Dena didn’t trust us with those cupcakes in the first place. If we don’t give them to Hilary, she’s likely never to sell us cupcakes for bribery purposes again.”
Neely Kate grinned. “Are you sayin’ we’ll need to bribe people in the future?”
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s just say I’m not ruling anything out.”
“I’m gonna take that as a positive sign.”
“You girls are gonna drive me to drink,” Jed grumbled. “I’m goin’ to get the car. You two stay inside the jail entrance. Surely you’ll be safe waiting for me here.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Mason thought it was safe to leave me in the reception area of the sheriff’s office, but I was kidnapped from there at gunpoint. And not a single person noticed.”
“Well, try not to get snatched this time.”
Neely Kate gave him an ornery grin. “We’ll do our best.”
“Tell me again why she’s here,” Jed said dryly, but with the hint of a grin.
“Because she’s actually pretty useful when she’s not being a pain in the backside. You go on. We’ll come out when you pull up.”
Jed took off, grumbling under his breath that being confined to a work camp in Siberia was starting to sound pretty good, and left us in the empty reception area of the county jail.
“You shouldn’t give him such a hard time, Neely Kate,” I admonished. “You’re gonna give the man an ulcer.”
“Pfft, he loves it. Besides, you give him plenty of grief.”
She had a point.
“Well, let’s try to be nicer for the rest of the day. It’s the least I can do after he’s saved my life so many times.”
Neely Kate’s smile faded as her eyes focused on something outside the front door. “What do you think would happen if Joe happened to find you standing here?”
“Nothing good.” I tried to look around her and out the door. “Is he coming in?”
She gave me a shove. “You go hide in the tunnel, and I’ll try to keep him busy. When I say something about galoshes, it’s the signal that you can slip past and get in Jed’s car when I say something about galoshes.”
“Galoshes?”
She gave me another hard shove. “Go!”
I dashed around the corner as I heard her say in a cheery voice, “Why Joe Simmons, fancy meeting you at the county jail.”
“Uh . . . I’m the chief deputy sheriff. It’s part of my job.”
“Oh, that’s right. Silly me.”
“Cut the crap, Neely Kate. What are you doin’ here?”
“Well . . . I wanted to come check on the status of your daddy breakin’ out of jail. My best friend is a fugitive from the slime ball, after all. I wanted to see if he was back in custody yet.”
“No, not yet.”
“Well, why are you standing here then?” she asked, sounding belligerent. “Why aren’t you out there tryin’ to catch him? Unless you want him to go free.”
“I can’t believe you’re standing there accusing me of that, when I was the one to lock him up.”
“Well, you didn’t really lock him up, now did you? You just sent him to the Henryetta hospital. Then he ran off, free as a bird.”
“Does this have a point?” he asked, starting to sound pissed. Not that I could blame him.
“Oh, my stars and garters,” she exclaimed. “Are all those photos on the wall men you’re lookin’ for?”
“Well, not just me. They’re men who have warrants out for their arrest.”
“Where’s your father’s photo? He’s running around like a sailor on shore leave after six months at sea. Why isn’t he up there?”
“Because he just broke out last night. We’re hoping to have him back in custody before we need to put his photo up.”
“Hmm . . .” she said, her voice growing fainter. “Speaking of a sailor on shore leave, do you think those men are running from lockup because they’re worried about the lack of female company?”
“What?” He sounded genuinely puzzled.
“I’ve heard that they . . . you know . . . get together themselves when they’re behind bars. Do you think that’s safe? Do y’all provide them with galoshes?”
And that was my cue. I peeked around the corner and saw Joe and Neely Kate standing in front of a bulletin board plastered with wanted posters.
“What?” Joe asked, shaking his head.
I started for the front door, glancing back over my shoulder to see if I was going to get caught.
Neely Kate tapped a photo of a bald guy with tattoos running from his neck to his jaw. “That guy right there. He looks like he should have a case of ’em.”
“A case of what?
“Condoms.”
“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” poor Joe asked, but I was already slipping out the door and running toward Jed’s car, parked parallel to the street.
“Rose!” Joe shouted after me.
Oh, crap.
Ignoring him, I opened the back door of the car and practically dove in, slamming the door shut. “Go!”
But Jed had already figured that part out. He was pulling away from the curb and driving down the street before I got even that one-syllable word out.
“What about Neely Kate?” Jed asked, watching me in the rearview mirror.
“We’ll let her assess the damage, and then we’ll figure out where to pick her up.” I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.
“She’s not at home,” Neely Kate said. “She’s volunteering at the food pantry at Jonah’s church.”
“Hilary? Volunteering at a food pantry?”
“Giving back to the less fortunate and undeserving is part of the socialite life,” Neely Kate said in a fake genteel drawl. “She’s keepin’ up appearances.”
“Well, if she’s keepin’ up appearances, maybe she’ll be forced to be nice to us.”
“Does that mean we get to keep all of the cupcakes?” Neely Kate asked.
“You know Dena didn’t trust us with those cupcakes in the first place. If we don’t give them to Hilary, she’s likely never to sell us cupcakes for bribery purposes again.”
Neely Kate grinned. “Are you sayin’ we’ll need to bribe people in the future?”
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s just say I’m not ruling anything out.”
“I’m gonna take that as a positive sign.”
“You girls are gonna drive me to drink,” Jed grumbled. “I’m goin’ to get the car. You two stay inside the jail entrance. Surely you’ll be safe waiting for me here.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Mason thought it was safe to leave me in the reception area of the sheriff’s office, but I was kidnapped from there at gunpoint. And not a single person noticed.”
“Well, try not to get snatched this time.”
Neely Kate gave him an ornery grin. “We’ll do our best.”
“Tell me again why she’s here,” Jed said dryly, but with the hint of a grin.
“Because she’s actually pretty useful when she’s not being a pain in the backside. You go on. We’ll come out when you pull up.”
Jed took off, grumbling under his breath that being confined to a work camp in Siberia was starting to sound pretty good, and left us in the empty reception area of the county jail.
“You shouldn’t give him such a hard time, Neely Kate,” I admonished. “You’re gonna give the man an ulcer.”
“Pfft, he loves it. Besides, you give him plenty of grief.”
She had a point.
“Well, let’s try to be nicer for the rest of the day. It’s the least I can do after he’s saved my life so many times.”
Neely Kate’s smile faded as her eyes focused on something outside the front door. “What do you think would happen if Joe happened to find you standing here?”
“Nothing good.” I tried to look around her and out the door. “Is he coming in?”
She gave me a shove. “You go hide in the tunnel, and I’ll try to keep him busy. When I say something about galoshes, it’s the signal that you can slip past and get in Jed’s car when I say something about galoshes.”
“Galoshes?”
She gave me another hard shove. “Go!”
I dashed around the corner as I heard her say in a cheery voice, “Why Joe Simmons, fancy meeting you at the county jail.”
“Uh . . . I’m the chief deputy sheriff. It’s part of my job.”
“Oh, that’s right. Silly me.”
“Cut the crap, Neely Kate. What are you doin’ here?”
“Well . . . I wanted to come check on the status of your daddy breakin’ out of jail. My best friend is a fugitive from the slime ball, after all. I wanted to see if he was back in custody yet.”
“No, not yet.”
“Well, why are you standing here then?” she asked, sounding belligerent. “Why aren’t you out there tryin’ to catch him? Unless you want him to go free.”
“I can’t believe you’re standing there accusing me of that, when I was the one to lock him up.”
“Well, you didn’t really lock him up, now did you? You just sent him to the Henryetta hospital. Then he ran off, free as a bird.”
“Does this have a point?” he asked, starting to sound pissed. Not that I could blame him.
“Oh, my stars and garters,” she exclaimed. “Are all those photos on the wall men you’re lookin’ for?”
“Well, not just me. They’re men who have warrants out for their arrest.”
“Where’s your father’s photo? He’s running around like a sailor on shore leave after six months at sea. Why isn’t he up there?”
“Because he just broke out last night. We’re hoping to have him back in custody before we need to put his photo up.”
“Hmm . . .” she said, her voice growing fainter. “Speaking of a sailor on shore leave, do you think those men are running from lockup because they’re worried about the lack of female company?”
“What?” He sounded genuinely puzzled.
“I’ve heard that they . . . you know . . . get together themselves when they’re behind bars. Do you think that’s safe? Do y’all provide them with galoshes?”
And that was my cue. I peeked around the corner and saw Joe and Neely Kate standing in front of a bulletin board plastered with wanted posters.
“What?” Joe asked, shaking his head.
I started for the front door, glancing back over my shoulder to see if I was going to get caught.
Neely Kate tapped a photo of a bald guy with tattoos running from his neck to his jaw. “That guy right there. He looks like he should have a case of ’em.”
“A case of what?
“Condoms.”
“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” poor Joe asked, but I was already slipping out the door and running toward Jed’s car, parked parallel to the street.
“Rose!” Joe shouted after me.
Oh, crap.
Ignoring him, I opened the back door of the car and practically dove in, slamming the door shut. “Go!”
But Jed had already figured that part out. He was pulling away from the curb and driving down the street before I got even that one-syllable word out.
“What about Neely Kate?” Jed asked, watching me in the rearview mirror.
“We’ll let her assess the damage, and then we’ll figure out where to pick her up.” I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.
