This Man Confessed
Page 103
‘Tell me. Did you call them up and have them make a queue outside your door?’
‘No, they hear that I’m on the drink and they’re like flies around shit.’
‘I hate you.’
‘No you don’t.’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Don’t make my heart crack, Ava. Does it matter who it was?’
‘No, what matters is that you lied to me.’
‘I was protecting you.’
‘And it’s hilarious that every single time you do that, you end up hurting me.’
‘I know.’
‘So, have you learnt?’
‘Every fucking day.’ He grabs my jaw aggressively, but says softly, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Good.’ I nod decisively in his hold, suddenly registering that our faces are now touching as we both lean in over his desk. We’re burning each other with angry gazes, mixed with a ton of lust. ‘How did this happen?’ I ask the question out loud when I was only intending on thinking it.
‘Because, my beautiful girl, we’re meant to be stuck together. Constant contact. Kiss me.’
‘I’ve accepted that you’re an arsehole, so there’s no need to try and get me submitting to your touch now.’ I will, though.
‘I missed you, baby.’
I climb up onto his desk and inch my way closer on my knees until I’m wrapped around him and my lips are all over his. Stupidly, I’ve missed him, too. One working day after Paradise and I’m feeling hard done by—short changed. I’ve been suffering Jesse withdrawal and now I’ve finally gotten my next hit. ‘I wish you were pure and untouched.’ I mumble, trailing my lips over every inch of his face. Of everything, this I wish the most—that no one came before me, or even during me. I’ve forgiven him, I truly have, but I’m struggling to forget.
‘I am.’ He sits down in his leather chair and jostles with me until I give in and let him sit me on his lap. ‘The most important part of me is untouched.’ He takes my hand and twirls my rings for a few thoughtful moments before flattening my palm and placing it on his chest. ‘Or it was until you stepped into my office. Now it’s being stamped all over and is exploding with pure love for you.’
I smile. ‘I like feeling it beating.’ I move in, opening his jacket up and lowering my ear to his shirt. ‘I like hearing it, too.’ It’s one of the most comforting things in the world.
His arms wrap around me and pull me in closer. ‘How was your day?’
‘Crap. I want Paradise.’
He laughs and kisses the top of my head. ‘I’m in Paradise whenever I’m with you. I don’t need a villa.’
‘You were more relaxed in Paradise.’ I say it how it is. I know being back in London will slowly draw my neurotic control freak back to the surface.
‘I’m relaxed now.’
‘Yes, that is because I’m sitting on your lap, coated in you.’ I reply sardonically, earning myself a little dig in the hollow space above my hips. I laugh and turn myself around on his lap so I’m facing his desk. ‘How was your day?’
His hands slide around onto my tummy and his chin rests on my shoulder, getting a mouthful of my hair. He splutters and sweeps it away. ‘Long. How are my peanuts?’
‘Fine,’ His notepad catches my eye. ‘Why is my brother’s name written down there?’ I reach forward to pull it closer, but too slowly because it’s soon whipped from under my nose and shoved in the top drawer of Jesse’s desk. I pull my hand back on a shocked jump at his fast movement. ‘Daniel Joseph O’Shea?’ I frown to myself, thinking I definitely saw numbers on that paper, and it wasn’t a telephone number. ‘Why have you got Dan’s bank account number written down?’
‘I haven’t.’ he quickly dismisses my question, and he’s tense. Damn him, he hasn’t learnt at all.
I remove myself from his lap and place myself to the side of him, punishing him with a stare equal to his don’t push it glare. ‘I’m giving you three seconds, Ward.’
His lips press into a straight, aggravated line. ‘The countdown is mine.’ he claims, childishly.
‘Three,’ I even hold three fingers up, in the most provoking fashion possible. I’m just as bad as he is. ‘Two,’ I lose a finger, but I don’t get to one or zero because I have an obvious moment of lucidity. ‘You’re giving him money!’
‘No.’ He shakes his head in the most unpersuasive way possible, shifting his feet in his seated position. He’s becoming as bad at lying as I am. I’m so glad.
‘You’re a shit liar, too, Ward.’ I swivel on my heels and make a run for it, mainly to catch my brother before he leaves, but also to escape Jesse before he catches me.
‘Ava!’
I take no notice of the threatening shout of my name, as per usual, and break into a full on run when I reach the summer room. I know he’s in pursuit, and not just because of his thundering footsteps, echoing behind me. I pass the kitchens, the bar and restaurant and skid on my heels when I find Dan standing by the huge round table in the entrance hall. He’s not doing anything or talking to anyone. John is here, too, and I know why that is. It’s the same reason why John accompanied me everywhere in the early days. I watch in apprehension as Dan looks around and John tries to usher him on, but he’s not shifting, not even for the big guy.
Jesse’s chest hits my back, and I’m picked up and turned in his arms. He’s not happy. ‘For fuck sake, woman! You’ll give the babies brain damage! No running!’
If I wasn’t so concerned by my brother’s location and behaviour, I would laugh at the crazy idiot holding me firmly in his arms. ‘Get a grip!’ I wriggle free and swing around, finding Dan watching us. His brow is completely furrowed, and John looks on edge.
Dan takes a leisurely gaze around the entrance hall again, then his inquisitive eyes land on Jesse. ‘If this is a hotel, then where’s the reception area?’
‘What?’ Jesse’s tone is impatient, almost defensive, and I wish it wasn’t. It’s a dead giveaway and I’m praying for him to think up something quickly.
‘Where do your guests pick up the keys to their room? And what about local attractions? Isn’t it common to have one of those stands with a shit load of leaflets in, telling people where to visit?’ He looks up at John. ‘And why the need to have a gorilla escorting me everywhere?’
I cringe, Jesse tenses and John growls. My brother is a bit quicker on the uptake than me. I didn’t consider any of those points, except John. I’m wracking my blank mind for something, anything, but it just isn’t happening. I, or we, have been caught completely off guard. And then I hear a voice and it’s the only voice in the world that I would wish not to hear right now.
Kate.
I visibly sag on the spot, and I feel Jesse’s hand on the small of my back. Why isn’t he saying anything? I watch and listen in horror as Kate and Sam dance down the stairs, giggling, feeling each other up and generally looking all sexed up. This is a disaster. I can’t help elbowing Jesse in the ribs, a silent demand to say something. Oh God, please say something!
‘No, they hear that I’m on the drink and they’re like flies around shit.’
‘I hate you.’
‘No you don’t.’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Don’t make my heart crack, Ava. Does it matter who it was?’
‘No, what matters is that you lied to me.’
‘I was protecting you.’
‘And it’s hilarious that every single time you do that, you end up hurting me.’
‘I know.’
‘So, have you learnt?’
‘Every fucking day.’ He grabs my jaw aggressively, but says softly, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Good.’ I nod decisively in his hold, suddenly registering that our faces are now touching as we both lean in over his desk. We’re burning each other with angry gazes, mixed with a ton of lust. ‘How did this happen?’ I ask the question out loud when I was only intending on thinking it.
‘Because, my beautiful girl, we’re meant to be stuck together. Constant contact. Kiss me.’
‘I’ve accepted that you’re an arsehole, so there’s no need to try and get me submitting to your touch now.’ I will, though.
‘I missed you, baby.’
I climb up onto his desk and inch my way closer on my knees until I’m wrapped around him and my lips are all over his. Stupidly, I’ve missed him, too. One working day after Paradise and I’m feeling hard done by—short changed. I’ve been suffering Jesse withdrawal and now I’ve finally gotten my next hit. ‘I wish you were pure and untouched.’ I mumble, trailing my lips over every inch of his face. Of everything, this I wish the most—that no one came before me, or even during me. I’ve forgiven him, I truly have, but I’m struggling to forget.
‘I am.’ He sits down in his leather chair and jostles with me until I give in and let him sit me on his lap. ‘The most important part of me is untouched.’ He takes my hand and twirls my rings for a few thoughtful moments before flattening my palm and placing it on his chest. ‘Or it was until you stepped into my office. Now it’s being stamped all over and is exploding with pure love for you.’
I smile. ‘I like feeling it beating.’ I move in, opening his jacket up and lowering my ear to his shirt. ‘I like hearing it, too.’ It’s one of the most comforting things in the world.
His arms wrap around me and pull me in closer. ‘How was your day?’
‘Crap. I want Paradise.’
He laughs and kisses the top of my head. ‘I’m in Paradise whenever I’m with you. I don’t need a villa.’
‘You were more relaxed in Paradise.’ I say it how it is. I know being back in London will slowly draw my neurotic control freak back to the surface.
‘I’m relaxed now.’
‘Yes, that is because I’m sitting on your lap, coated in you.’ I reply sardonically, earning myself a little dig in the hollow space above my hips. I laugh and turn myself around on his lap so I’m facing his desk. ‘How was your day?’
His hands slide around onto my tummy and his chin rests on my shoulder, getting a mouthful of my hair. He splutters and sweeps it away. ‘Long. How are my peanuts?’
‘Fine,’ His notepad catches my eye. ‘Why is my brother’s name written down there?’ I reach forward to pull it closer, but too slowly because it’s soon whipped from under my nose and shoved in the top drawer of Jesse’s desk. I pull my hand back on a shocked jump at his fast movement. ‘Daniel Joseph O’Shea?’ I frown to myself, thinking I definitely saw numbers on that paper, and it wasn’t a telephone number. ‘Why have you got Dan’s bank account number written down?’
‘I haven’t.’ he quickly dismisses my question, and he’s tense. Damn him, he hasn’t learnt at all.
I remove myself from his lap and place myself to the side of him, punishing him with a stare equal to his don’t push it glare. ‘I’m giving you three seconds, Ward.’
His lips press into a straight, aggravated line. ‘The countdown is mine.’ he claims, childishly.
‘Three,’ I even hold three fingers up, in the most provoking fashion possible. I’m just as bad as he is. ‘Two,’ I lose a finger, but I don’t get to one or zero because I have an obvious moment of lucidity. ‘You’re giving him money!’
‘No.’ He shakes his head in the most unpersuasive way possible, shifting his feet in his seated position. He’s becoming as bad at lying as I am. I’m so glad.
‘You’re a shit liar, too, Ward.’ I swivel on my heels and make a run for it, mainly to catch my brother before he leaves, but also to escape Jesse before he catches me.
‘Ava!’
I take no notice of the threatening shout of my name, as per usual, and break into a full on run when I reach the summer room. I know he’s in pursuit, and not just because of his thundering footsteps, echoing behind me. I pass the kitchens, the bar and restaurant and skid on my heels when I find Dan standing by the huge round table in the entrance hall. He’s not doing anything or talking to anyone. John is here, too, and I know why that is. It’s the same reason why John accompanied me everywhere in the early days. I watch in apprehension as Dan looks around and John tries to usher him on, but he’s not shifting, not even for the big guy.
Jesse’s chest hits my back, and I’m picked up and turned in his arms. He’s not happy. ‘For fuck sake, woman! You’ll give the babies brain damage! No running!’
If I wasn’t so concerned by my brother’s location and behaviour, I would laugh at the crazy idiot holding me firmly in his arms. ‘Get a grip!’ I wriggle free and swing around, finding Dan watching us. His brow is completely furrowed, and John looks on edge.
Dan takes a leisurely gaze around the entrance hall again, then his inquisitive eyes land on Jesse. ‘If this is a hotel, then where’s the reception area?’
‘What?’ Jesse’s tone is impatient, almost defensive, and I wish it wasn’t. It’s a dead giveaway and I’m praying for him to think up something quickly.
‘Where do your guests pick up the keys to their room? And what about local attractions? Isn’t it common to have one of those stands with a shit load of leaflets in, telling people where to visit?’ He looks up at John. ‘And why the need to have a gorilla escorting me everywhere?’
I cringe, Jesse tenses and John growls. My brother is a bit quicker on the uptake than me. I didn’t consider any of those points, except John. I’m wracking my blank mind for something, anything, but it just isn’t happening. I, or we, have been caught completely off guard. And then I hear a voice and it’s the only voice in the world that I would wish not to hear right now.
Kate.
I visibly sag on the spot, and I feel Jesse’s hand on the small of my back. Why isn’t he saying anything? I watch and listen in horror as Kate and Sam dance down the stairs, giggling, feeling each other up and generally looking all sexed up. This is a disaster. I can’t help elbowing Jesse in the ribs, a silent demand to say something. Oh God, please say something!
