This Regret
Page 74
The ones that run so deep within me, the ones I don’t want anyone to see.
To run, to hide from everyone, so I don’t have to face a single one.
All you did was feed me lies, and told me things to make me cry.
To you I came with an open heart, and all you did was break my world apart.
I gave you all I had in me, but you were too blind to even see.
I was looking for love, but what I found was hate. I thought you would change, but it was too late to wait.
I was already too sad, and most of the time even mad.
To finally be happy I learned I had to leave, and find true feelings I could actually believe.”
By the time she finishes, I have tears running down my cheeks. I never knew she felt so deeply about anything and hearing these words make me sad. Someone hurt her and I know it doesn’t feel good. It never does.
Kellan walks over, grabs the paper from her hand and pulls her in for a hug. He rocks her back and forth and squeezes her tight as if she touched a special place in his heart. “That was better than I could have hoped for. Adric would’ve been so proud of you.” He pulls away and looks her in the eye. “Don’t ever let anyone bring you down and don’t ever stop believing you can do anything you want. You have to be stronger than . . .”
His words trail off and he quickly replaces his emotions with a smile. “Let me take a look at this.” He shakes the paper in the air. “I need to be sure you spelled everything right before you think you’re sending me off to do something crazy.” He quickly scans the paper and then looks over at me sporting a proud grin. “Alright, tail. You messed up one word, but I’ll let that slip this time. Next time I’m here I want you to fix that word and present me with a new poem. If we have a deal, tell me what it’ll be.”
She taps her finger against her chin and jumps up onto the table. She looks proud and that makes my heart swell. This could really help her. “How do you feel about ni**les?” She grins deviously.
The timer goes off on the oven so I reach behind Kellan in an attempt to take the pizza out, but Kellan shakes his head and reaches for the oven mitt. “I’ve got it.” He opens the oven and slides the pizza out, setting it on top of the stove. Then he smiles. “I love them, why?”
I have a feeling where this is going and for some reason, the thought turns me on. Man his body does things to me.
“Well . . . you’re about to get yours pierced. Both of them.” She rubs her hands together and looks at his chest, then lowers her eyes and nods her head. “I was going to go for something else, you know for my sister’s pleasure and all, but-”
“Zoe!” I scream, embarrassed as crap. Wait . . . What? “That’s enough. Since when did your mind get so dirty?”
She gives me a disgusted look as if I’ve offended her and stretches her legs. “I’m practically fifteen. Isn’t that about how old you were when you first had the hots for this guy?” She tilts her head toward Kellan and points with her thumb. “I was going to do you a favor. Good thing I didn’t, prude.” She shoots daggers at me and then looks at Kellan. “What do you think big guy? Do your ni**les already hurt? The way Phoenix has been acting, I think hers do.” She scrunches her forehead and rolls her big eyes at me.
“You little shit.” I try to sound mad, but I can’t help but to laugh. “Man, I miss you being a quiet ten year old. Can we go back to those days? I would seriously do anything.”
Kellan looks at me from the corner of his eye and bites his bottom lip, before facing Zoe again. “I knew you girls talked about me. Anything else I should know about your sister besides her ni**les hurting?”
These two are killing me. What the hell! “Okay, that’s enough. Can we just eat this pizza? I want to come to your shop today and get a tattoo.” I look to Zoe before reaching into the cabinet for some plates. “I’ll be sure he gets those nips pierced and if he says anything else about my ni**les, I’ll be sure he gets something else pierced as well.”
He slices the pizza and washes the slicer. “I would. As long as you’d be the one to kiss it better afterwards.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, I feel my sex clenching. Bad timing. Very bad timing. “Hey! Do you mind?” I point at Zoe. “My little sister doesn’t need to be hearing that kind of talk.”
Zoe jumps from the table and pushes me out of the way to grab a slice of pizza. “Your little sister is big enough to hear that kind of talk. Trust me, I hear a lot worse from my friends at school.”
“Are you serious? You kids are starting early these days. I worry about you,” I mumble before taking a bite of pizza. Holy hell this is delicious.
“Well don’t,” Zoe scoffs. “I can take care of myself. She shoves the pizza into her mouth and mumbles, “I want to see those ni**les next time you’re here.”
“Alright, tail.” Kellan nods his head and salutes her. “Oh and don’t think you’re stopping there. I want more poems. I don’t care how many times I have to mutilate my body to get them either. I’ll even pierce between my toes.”
Zoe stops and pulls the pizza from her mouth. “Seriously?”
Kellan shrugs. “I guess you’ll have to see.”
This seems to satisfy Zoe because she walks out with the biggest smile I’ve seen from her in a long damn time. Seeing her that way makes me happy.
I turn to kellan. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
He smiles and kisses my forehead. “Sure I did.” He reaches for his backpack and throws it over his shoulder. “I have to get cleaned up to get to the shop. I’ll see you there in a bit?” He grins, already knowing the answer. “We both have some work to get done today.”
I smile and nod my head. “Sure thing,” I say nervously. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
* * *
I arrive at the shop and decide to park in the back this time, next to Kellan’s motorcycle. On the left side of his bike, Tyler’s bike is also parked. I haven’t really talked much with Jen lately, but something tells me she’s been busy with this guy. Every time I call, she’s giggling and acting like a damn school girl. Then she tells me she has to go. I know for a fact, Nate doesn’t have that effect on her. It has to be Tyler. Which makes me happy because she deserves someone that will treat her and Jax properly and if Kellan trusts him enough to get him involved, then he must be a good guy.
To run, to hide from everyone, so I don’t have to face a single one.
All you did was feed me lies, and told me things to make me cry.
To you I came with an open heart, and all you did was break my world apart.
I gave you all I had in me, but you were too blind to even see.
I was looking for love, but what I found was hate. I thought you would change, but it was too late to wait.
I was already too sad, and most of the time even mad.
To finally be happy I learned I had to leave, and find true feelings I could actually believe.”
By the time she finishes, I have tears running down my cheeks. I never knew she felt so deeply about anything and hearing these words make me sad. Someone hurt her and I know it doesn’t feel good. It never does.
Kellan walks over, grabs the paper from her hand and pulls her in for a hug. He rocks her back and forth and squeezes her tight as if she touched a special place in his heart. “That was better than I could have hoped for. Adric would’ve been so proud of you.” He pulls away and looks her in the eye. “Don’t ever let anyone bring you down and don’t ever stop believing you can do anything you want. You have to be stronger than . . .”
His words trail off and he quickly replaces his emotions with a smile. “Let me take a look at this.” He shakes the paper in the air. “I need to be sure you spelled everything right before you think you’re sending me off to do something crazy.” He quickly scans the paper and then looks over at me sporting a proud grin. “Alright, tail. You messed up one word, but I’ll let that slip this time. Next time I’m here I want you to fix that word and present me with a new poem. If we have a deal, tell me what it’ll be.”
She taps her finger against her chin and jumps up onto the table. She looks proud and that makes my heart swell. This could really help her. “How do you feel about ni**les?” She grins deviously.
The timer goes off on the oven so I reach behind Kellan in an attempt to take the pizza out, but Kellan shakes his head and reaches for the oven mitt. “I’ve got it.” He opens the oven and slides the pizza out, setting it on top of the stove. Then he smiles. “I love them, why?”
I have a feeling where this is going and for some reason, the thought turns me on. Man his body does things to me.
“Well . . . you’re about to get yours pierced. Both of them.” She rubs her hands together and looks at his chest, then lowers her eyes and nods her head. “I was going to go for something else, you know for my sister’s pleasure and all, but-”
“Zoe!” I scream, embarrassed as crap. Wait . . . What? “That’s enough. Since when did your mind get so dirty?”
She gives me a disgusted look as if I’ve offended her and stretches her legs. “I’m practically fifteen. Isn’t that about how old you were when you first had the hots for this guy?” She tilts her head toward Kellan and points with her thumb. “I was going to do you a favor. Good thing I didn’t, prude.” She shoots daggers at me and then looks at Kellan. “What do you think big guy? Do your ni**les already hurt? The way Phoenix has been acting, I think hers do.” She scrunches her forehead and rolls her big eyes at me.
“You little shit.” I try to sound mad, but I can’t help but to laugh. “Man, I miss you being a quiet ten year old. Can we go back to those days? I would seriously do anything.”
Kellan looks at me from the corner of his eye and bites his bottom lip, before facing Zoe again. “I knew you girls talked about me. Anything else I should know about your sister besides her ni**les hurting?”
These two are killing me. What the hell! “Okay, that’s enough. Can we just eat this pizza? I want to come to your shop today and get a tattoo.” I look to Zoe before reaching into the cabinet for some plates. “I’ll be sure he gets those nips pierced and if he says anything else about my ni**les, I’ll be sure he gets something else pierced as well.”
He slices the pizza and washes the slicer. “I would. As long as you’d be the one to kiss it better afterwards.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, I feel my sex clenching. Bad timing. Very bad timing. “Hey! Do you mind?” I point at Zoe. “My little sister doesn’t need to be hearing that kind of talk.”
Zoe jumps from the table and pushes me out of the way to grab a slice of pizza. “Your little sister is big enough to hear that kind of talk. Trust me, I hear a lot worse from my friends at school.”
“Are you serious? You kids are starting early these days. I worry about you,” I mumble before taking a bite of pizza. Holy hell this is delicious.
“Well don’t,” Zoe scoffs. “I can take care of myself. She shoves the pizza into her mouth and mumbles, “I want to see those ni**les next time you’re here.”
“Alright, tail.” Kellan nods his head and salutes her. “Oh and don’t think you’re stopping there. I want more poems. I don’t care how many times I have to mutilate my body to get them either. I’ll even pierce between my toes.”
Zoe stops and pulls the pizza from her mouth. “Seriously?”
Kellan shrugs. “I guess you’ll have to see.”
This seems to satisfy Zoe because she walks out with the biggest smile I’ve seen from her in a long damn time. Seeing her that way makes me happy.
I turn to kellan. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
He smiles and kisses my forehead. “Sure I did.” He reaches for his backpack and throws it over his shoulder. “I have to get cleaned up to get to the shop. I’ll see you there in a bit?” He grins, already knowing the answer. “We both have some work to get done today.”
I smile and nod my head. “Sure thing,” I say nervously. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
* * *
I arrive at the shop and decide to park in the back this time, next to Kellan’s motorcycle. On the left side of his bike, Tyler’s bike is also parked. I haven’t really talked much with Jen lately, but something tells me she’s been busy with this guy. Every time I call, she’s giggling and acting like a damn school girl. Then she tells me she has to go. I know for a fact, Nate doesn’t have that effect on her. It has to be Tyler. Which makes me happy because she deserves someone that will treat her and Jax properly and if Kellan trusts him enough to get him involved, then he must be a good guy.
