Throne of Glass
Page 52
“I’m an assassin.” Her heartbeat calmed. “That’s all there is to know.”
“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “But why is it so wrong for me to want to know more? Like how you became an assassin—and what things were like for you before that.”
“It’s not interesting.”
“I wouldn’t find it boring.” She didn’t say anything. “Please? One question—and I promise, nothing too sensitive.”
Her mouth twisted to the side and she looked at the table. What harm was there in a question? She could choose not to reply. “Very well.”
He grinned. “I need a moment to think of a good one.” She rolled her eyes, but sat down. After a few seconds, he asked, “Why do you like music so much?”
She made a face. “You said nothing sensitive!”
“Is it that prying? How different is that from asking why you like to read?”
“No, no. That question is fine.” She let out a long breath through her nose and stared at the table. “I like music,” she said slowly, “because when I hear it, I . . . I lose myself within myself, if that makes sense. I become empty and full all at once, and I can feel the whole earth roiling around me. When I play, I’m not . . . for once, I’m not destroying. I’m creating.” She chewed on her lip. “I used to want to be a healer. Back when I was . . . Back before this became my profession, when I was almost too young to remember, I wanted to be a healer.” She shrugged. “Music reminds me of that feeling.” She laughed under her breath. “I’ve never told anyone that,” she admitted, then saw his smile. “Don’t mock me.”
He shook his head, wiping the smile from his lips. “I’m not mocking you—I’m just . . .”
“Unused to hearing people speak from the heart?”
“Well, yes.”
She smiled slightly. “Now it’s my turn. Are there any limitations?”
“No.” He tucked his hands behind his head. “I’m not nearly as private as you are.”
She made a face as she thought of the question. “Why aren’t you married yet?”
“Married? I’m nineteen!”
“Yes, but you’re the Crown Prince.”
He crossed his arms. She tried not to notice the cut of muscle that shifted just beneath the fabric of his shirt. “Ask another question.”
“I want to hear your answer—it must be interesting if you’re so ardently resisting.”
He looked at the window and the snow that swirled beyond. “I’m not married,” he said softly, “because I can’t stomach the idea of marrying a woman inferior to me in mind and spirit. It would mean the death of my soul.”
“Marriage is a legal contract—it’s not a sacred thing. As Crown Prince, you should have given up such fanciful notions. What if you’re ordered to marry for the sake of alliance? Would you start a war because of your romantic ideals?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh? Your father wouldn’t command you to marry some princess in order to strengthen his empire?”
“My father has an army to do that for him.”
“You could easily love some woman on the side. Marriage doesn’t mean you can’t love other people.”
His sapphire eyes flashed. “You marry the person you love—and none other,” he said, and she laughed. “You’re mocking me! You’re laughing in my face!”
“You deserve to be laughed at for such foolish thoughts! I spoke from my soul; you speak only from selfishness.”
“You’re remarkably judgmental.”
“What’s the point in having a mind if you don’t use it to make judgments?”
“What’s the point in having a heart if you don’t use it to spare others from the harsh judgments of your mind?”
“Oh, well said, Your Highness!” He stared at her sullenly. “Come now. I didn’t wound you that severely.”
“You’ve attempted to ruin my dreams and ideals. I get enough from my mother as it is. You’re just being cruel.”
“I’m being practical. There’s a difference. And you’re the Crown Prince of Adarlan. You’re in a position where it’s possible for you to change Erilea for the better. You could help create a world where true love isn’t needed to secure a happy ending.”
“And what sort of world would I need to create for that to happen?”
“A world where men govern themselves.”
“You speak of anarchy and treason.”
“I do not speak of anarchy. Call me a traitor all you like—I’ve been convicted as an assassin already.”
He sidled closer to her, and his fingers brushed hers—calloused, warm, and hard. “You can’t resist the opportunity to respond to everything I say, can you?” She felt restless—but at the same time remarkably still. Something was brought to life and laid to sleep in his gaze. “Your eyes are very strange,” he said. “I’ve never seen any with such a bright ring of gold.”
“If you’re attempting to woo me with flattery, I’m afraid it won’t work.”
“I was merely observing; I have no agenda.” He looked at his hand, still touching hers. “Where did you get that ring?”
She contracted her hand into a fist as she pulled it away from him. The amethyst in her ring glowed in the firelight. “It was a gift.”
“From whom?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
He shrugged, though she knew better than to tell him who’d really given it to her—rather, she knew Chaol wouldn’t want Dorian to know. “I’d like to know who’s been giving rings to my Champion.”
The way the collar of his black jacket lay across his neck made her unable to sit still. She wanted to touch him, to trace the line between his tan skin and the golden lining of the fabric.
“Billiards?” she asked, rising to her feet. “I could use another lesson.” Celaena didn’t wait for his answer as she strode toward the gaming room. She very much wanted to stand close to him and have her skin warm under his breath. She liked that. Worse than that, she realized, she liked him.
•
Chaol watched Perrington at his table in the dining hall. When he had approached the duke about Verin’s death, he hadn’t seemed bothered. Chaol looked around the cavernous hall; in fact, most of the Champions’ sponsors went about as usual. Idiots. If Celaena was actually right about it, then whoever was responsible for killing the Champions could be among them. But which of the members of the king’s council would be so desperate to win that he’d do such a thing? Chaol stretched his legs beneath the table and shifted his attention back to Perrington.
He’d seen how the duke used his size and title to win allies on the king’s council and keep opponents from challenging him. But it wasn’t his maneuverings that had captured the interest of the Captain of the Guard tonight. Rather, it was the moments between the grins and laughter, when a shadow passed across the duke’s face. It wasn’t an expression of anger or of disgust, but a shade that clouded his eyes. It was so strange that when Chaol had first seen it, he’d extended his dinner just to see if it happened again.
“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “But why is it so wrong for me to want to know more? Like how you became an assassin—and what things were like for you before that.”
“It’s not interesting.”
“I wouldn’t find it boring.” She didn’t say anything. “Please? One question—and I promise, nothing too sensitive.”
Her mouth twisted to the side and she looked at the table. What harm was there in a question? She could choose not to reply. “Very well.”
He grinned. “I need a moment to think of a good one.” She rolled her eyes, but sat down. After a few seconds, he asked, “Why do you like music so much?”
She made a face. “You said nothing sensitive!”
“Is it that prying? How different is that from asking why you like to read?”
“No, no. That question is fine.” She let out a long breath through her nose and stared at the table. “I like music,” she said slowly, “because when I hear it, I . . . I lose myself within myself, if that makes sense. I become empty and full all at once, and I can feel the whole earth roiling around me. When I play, I’m not . . . for once, I’m not destroying. I’m creating.” She chewed on her lip. “I used to want to be a healer. Back when I was . . . Back before this became my profession, when I was almost too young to remember, I wanted to be a healer.” She shrugged. “Music reminds me of that feeling.” She laughed under her breath. “I’ve never told anyone that,” she admitted, then saw his smile. “Don’t mock me.”
He shook his head, wiping the smile from his lips. “I’m not mocking you—I’m just . . .”
“Unused to hearing people speak from the heart?”
“Well, yes.”
She smiled slightly. “Now it’s my turn. Are there any limitations?”
“No.” He tucked his hands behind his head. “I’m not nearly as private as you are.”
She made a face as she thought of the question. “Why aren’t you married yet?”
“Married? I’m nineteen!”
“Yes, but you’re the Crown Prince.”
He crossed his arms. She tried not to notice the cut of muscle that shifted just beneath the fabric of his shirt. “Ask another question.”
“I want to hear your answer—it must be interesting if you’re so ardently resisting.”
He looked at the window and the snow that swirled beyond. “I’m not married,” he said softly, “because I can’t stomach the idea of marrying a woman inferior to me in mind and spirit. It would mean the death of my soul.”
“Marriage is a legal contract—it’s not a sacred thing. As Crown Prince, you should have given up such fanciful notions. What if you’re ordered to marry for the sake of alliance? Would you start a war because of your romantic ideals?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh? Your father wouldn’t command you to marry some princess in order to strengthen his empire?”
“My father has an army to do that for him.”
“You could easily love some woman on the side. Marriage doesn’t mean you can’t love other people.”
His sapphire eyes flashed. “You marry the person you love—and none other,” he said, and she laughed. “You’re mocking me! You’re laughing in my face!”
“You deserve to be laughed at for such foolish thoughts! I spoke from my soul; you speak only from selfishness.”
“You’re remarkably judgmental.”
“What’s the point in having a mind if you don’t use it to make judgments?”
“What’s the point in having a heart if you don’t use it to spare others from the harsh judgments of your mind?”
“Oh, well said, Your Highness!” He stared at her sullenly. “Come now. I didn’t wound you that severely.”
“You’ve attempted to ruin my dreams and ideals. I get enough from my mother as it is. You’re just being cruel.”
“I’m being practical. There’s a difference. And you’re the Crown Prince of Adarlan. You’re in a position where it’s possible for you to change Erilea for the better. You could help create a world where true love isn’t needed to secure a happy ending.”
“And what sort of world would I need to create for that to happen?”
“A world where men govern themselves.”
“You speak of anarchy and treason.”
“I do not speak of anarchy. Call me a traitor all you like—I’ve been convicted as an assassin already.”
He sidled closer to her, and his fingers brushed hers—calloused, warm, and hard. “You can’t resist the opportunity to respond to everything I say, can you?” She felt restless—but at the same time remarkably still. Something was brought to life and laid to sleep in his gaze. “Your eyes are very strange,” he said. “I’ve never seen any with such a bright ring of gold.”
“If you’re attempting to woo me with flattery, I’m afraid it won’t work.”
“I was merely observing; I have no agenda.” He looked at his hand, still touching hers. “Where did you get that ring?”
She contracted her hand into a fist as she pulled it away from him. The amethyst in her ring glowed in the firelight. “It was a gift.”
“From whom?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
He shrugged, though she knew better than to tell him who’d really given it to her—rather, she knew Chaol wouldn’t want Dorian to know. “I’d like to know who’s been giving rings to my Champion.”
The way the collar of his black jacket lay across his neck made her unable to sit still. She wanted to touch him, to trace the line between his tan skin and the golden lining of the fabric.
“Billiards?” she asked, rising to her feet. “I could use another lesson.” Celaena didn’t wait for his answer as she strode toward the gaming room. She very much wanted to stand close to him and have her skin warm under his breath. She liked that. Worse than that, she realized, she liked him.
•
Chaol watched Perrington at his table in the dining hall. When he had approached the duke about Verin’s death, he hadn’t seemed bothered. Chaol looked around the cavernous hall; in fact, most of the Champions’ sponsors went about as usual. Idiots. If Celaena was actually right about it, then whoever was responsible for killing the Champions could be among them. But which of the members of the king’s council would be so desperate to win that he’d do such a thing? Chaol stretched his legs beneath the table and shifted his attention back to Perrington.
He’d seen how the duke used his size and title to win allies on the king’s council and keep opponents from challenging him. But it wasn’t his maneuverings that had captured the interest of the Captain of the Guard tonight. Rather, it was the moments between the grins and laughter, when a shadow passed across the duke’s face. It wasn’t an expression of anger or of disgust, but a shade that clouded his eyes. It was so strange that when Chaol had first seen it, he’d extended his dinner just to see if it happened again.
