Thrust
Page 37
I hear his footsteps behind me, before I feel his hand grab my arm. “Calla. Can I have a second? Please.”
Swallowing back my emotions, I pull my arm out of his reach and stiffen my arms at my sides. I don’t want his hands anywhere on me. The thought disgusts me. I can’t even look at him, so I give him my backside as I speak. “What do you want, Jordan? You’re getting married in less than ten minutes. No need to waste your time on me.”
“Calla . . .” He lets out a small breath and I feel his body almost touching me from behind, but he stops, not letting himself get too close. “I just want to thank you for coming. It means more to your sister than you could ever imagine. She was so afraid . . .”
I spin around and face him, cutting him off. “What, Jordan? Afraid that I wouldn’t come watch her happily ever after happen? The two people that meant the most to me in the world that betrayed and hurt me? Was she afraid that I wouldn’t suffer through it so I can see how happy and in love you two are? Huh? Is that what she was afraid of?” Seeing his face up close makes me feel nauseous.
His eyes widen and I see him swallow nervously as he looks behind me, over my shoulder. Good. Someone’s watching. I don’t care who the hell sees my little outburst. They can watch from afar, because I’ve been holding this in for years.
He takes a quick breath and releases it. “No. Calla. That’s not . . .”
“I gave you everything I had, all of me.” I point to my chest with my hand shaking. I’m so angry that it’s uncontrollable. I don’t want him to see the way it’s affecting me, but it can’t be stopped so fuck it. “I loved you, Jordan. I cherished you and listened to you . . . I took care of you. I did everything that I was supposed to do and it still wasn’t good enough for you. You ripped my fucking heart out and stomped on it, and with who . . . huh? The most important person in my life next to you, my sister. My fucking sister, Jordan. You did that to me. Not only did you rip my fucking heart out, but you also stole my family. That’s something you don’t come back from. You can’t just pretend it’s all okay just because two years has passed.”
His jaw clenches and his eyes look over my shoulder again, as he runs a hand through his short, blonde hair; his stupid, always perfect hair. “I’m sorry. I can’t take that back and neither can she. You think we meant for it to happen that way?”
“I don’t care. It should’ve never happened in the first place. If you two wanted to be together . . . then you should have told me. I loved you both enough that I would have backed off and gave you the space to figure it out, because that’s my character. What’s sad is that you know that, but instead you both betrayed my trust in the worst way possible. How do you expect me to trust my heart with anyone else after the two people I loved the most completely fucked it up by shredding it into a million pieces?” I tilt my head up to meet his brown eyes. “It still fucking hurts. Just thought you both should know.”
I hear footsteps right behind me, crunching in the grass, before I feel a hand possessively lace with mine, causing me to release a surprised gasp.
Turning my eyes away from Jordan, I look beside me to see Kyan, looking straight ahead at Jordan as if he’s mentally ripping his throat out.
My heart literally skips a fucking beat and a tear slowly trails down the left side of my face as I stare at him in awe. I can’t believe that he’s standing here, next to me. I’m so happy that I could die right now. When I needed him the most he came through.
He’s dressed in a pair of form fitting trousers and a white button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His tie is loose as if he’s been pulling on it, but his hair is slicked back as if he actually took the time to style it before arriving. He looks so painfully sexy and I can tell that Jordan notices it too. I’m sure Jordan’s used to being the sexiest guy everywhere he goes. Too bad for him he won’t be for his own damn wedding.
“Sorry I’m late, Calla.” His eyes stay straight ahead on Jordan’s and I can easily tell that Jordan feels extremely uncomfortable as Kyan sizes him up. His eyes keep darting from my face to Kyan’s face, and then to our hands laced together. “Let’s go find our seat and let the groom here get married.”
His jaw steels as Jordan loosens his tie. Then, before I know it, his hand is on my lower back and he’s guiding me through the grass and toward where Jordan should be right now.
Going back to holding my hand, he walks me down the aisle as if it’s perfectly normal for people to be looking at us as if we’re a real couple. I see my aunt fan her face off and grin as Kyan pulls me past her toward the empty seat in the front row.
There’s only one seat open together, so Kyan leans in and politely asks someone that I don’t know if they wouldn’t mind moving over to the next seat so that we can sit together.
My stomach fills with butterflies as he guides me down to my seat and takes a seat beside me, pulling my hand into his lap.
His fingers trace circles on my hand and I oddly find comfort in his touch, as I look straight ahead, ready for this to be over.
The soft music starts and I feel Kyan move my chair as close to his as he possibly can. It causes a small smile to take over my lips as I watch him looking at me. He’s taking me all in as if he’s making sure that I’m okay.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “You didn’t have to do this.”
His jaw muscle flexes as he nods his head. “Yes, I did,” he says barely above a whisper.
My heart races as I take notice of the first couple making their way down the aisle to stand at the front. This is all so real now. It’s actually happening right in front of my eyes. My sister is marrying Jordan . . . my first and only love.
Sitting here right now, watching this, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. With each second that passes I feel sicker to my stomach from the anticipation of seeing Chrissy walk down that aisle.
Kyan’s hand squeezes mine, comforting me as Jordan makes his way down the aisle to take his place.
He seems to know how much this hurts and I couldn’t be more thankful to have him here with me. I owe him so much for this and I can never repay him enough. He’s giving up something important for him to be here right now. No one has ever done anything like that for me before.
The music changes and my whole body stiffens. I rub my free hand over the front of my silver, silk dress, as my nerves begin to get the best of me. She’s only seconds away from walking down that aisle and I know for a fact that she will be looking to see if I actually made it.
Swallowing back my emotions, I pull my arm out of his reach and stiffen my arms at my sides. I don’t want his hands anywhere on me. The thought disgusts me. I can’t even look at him, so I give him my backside as I speak. “What do you want, Jordan? You’re getting married in less than ten minutes. No need to waste your time on me.”
“Calla . . .” He lets out a small breath and I feel his body almost touching me from behind, but he stops, not letting himself get too close. “I just want to thank you for coming. It means more to your sister than you could ever imagine. She was so afraid . . .”
I spin around and face him, cutting him off. “What, Jordan? Afraid that I wouldn’t come watch her happily ever after happen? The two people that meant the most to me in the world that betrayed and hurt me? Was she afraid that I wouldn’t suffer through it so I can see how happy and in love you two are? Huh? Is that what she was afraid of?” Seeing his face up close makes me feel nauseous.
His eyes widen and I see him swallow nervously as he looks behind me, over my shoulder. Good. Someone’s watching. I don’t care who the hell sees my little outburst. They can watch from afar, because I’ve been holding this in for years.
He takes a quick breath and releases it. “No. Calla. That’s not . . .”
“I gave you everything I had, all of me.” I point to my chest with my hand shaking. I’m so angry that it’s uncontrollable. I don’t want him to see the way it’s affecting me, but it can’t be stopped so fuck it. “I loved you, Jordan. I cherished you and listened to you . . . I took care of you. I did everything that I was supposed to do and it still wasn’t good enough for you. You ripped my fucking heart out and stomped on it, and with who . . . huh? The most important person in my life next to you, my sister. My fucking sister, Jordan. You did that to me. Not only did you rip my fucking heart out, but you also stole my family. That’s something you don’t come back from. You can’t just pretend it’s all okay just because two years has passed.”
His jaw clenches and his eyes look over my shoulder again, as he runs a hand through his short, blonde hair; his stupid, always perfect hair. “I’m sorry. I can’t take that back and neither can she. You think we meant for it to happen that way?”
“I don’t care. It should’ve never happened in the first place. If you two wanted to be together . . . then you should have told me. I loved you both enough that I would have backed off and gave you the space to figure it out, because that’s my character. What’s sad is that you know that, but instead you both betrayed my trust in the worst way possible. How do you expect me to trust my heart with anyone else after the two people I loved the most completely fucked it up by shredding it into a million pieces?” I tilt my head up to meet his brown eyes. “It still fucking hurts. Just thought you both should know.”
I hear footsteps right behind me, crunching in the grass, before I feel a hand possessively lace with mine, causing me to release a surprised gasp.
Turning my eyes away from Jordan, I look beside me to see Kyan, looking straight ahead at Jordan as if he’s mentally ripping his throat out.
My heart literally skips a fucking beat and a tear slowly trails down the left side of my face as I stare at him in awe. I can’t believe that he’s standing here, next to me. I’m so happy that I could die right now. When I needed him the most he came through.
He’s dressed in a pair of form fitting trousers and a white button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. His tie is loose as if he’s been pulling on it, but his hair is slicked back as if he actually took the time to style it before arriving. He looks so painfully sexy and I can tell that Jordan notices it too. I’m sure Jordan’s used to being the sexiest guy everywhere he goes. Too bad for him he won’t be for his own damn wedding.
“Sorry I’m late, Calla.” His eyes stay straight ahead on Jordan’s and I can easily tell that Jordan feels extremely uncomfortable as Kyan sizes him up. His eyes keep darting from my face to Kyan’s face, and then to our hands laced together. “Let’s go find our seat and let the groom here get married.”
His jaw steels as Jordan loosens his tie. Then, before I know it, his hand is on my lower back and he’s guiding me through the grass and toward where Jordan should be right now.
Going back to holding my hand, he walks me down the aisle as if it’s perfectly normal for people to be looking at us as if we’re a real couple. I see my aunt fan her face off and grin as Kyan pulls me past her toward the empty seat in the front row.
There’s only one seat open together, so Kyan leans in and politely asks someone that I don’t know if they wouldn’t mind moving over to the next seat so that we can sit together.
My stomach fills with butterflies as he guides me down to my seat and takes a seat beside me, pulling my hand into his lap.
His fingers trace circles on my hand and I oddly find comfort in his touch, as I look straight ahead, ready for this to be over.
The soft music starts and I feel Kyan move my chair as close to his as he possibly can. It causes a small smile to take over my lips as I watch him looking at me. He’s taking me all in as if he’s making sure that I’m okay.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “You didn’t have to do this.”
His jaw muscle flexes as he nods his head. “Yes, I did,” he says barely above a whisper.
My heart races as I take notice of the first couple making their way down the aisle to stand at the front. This is all so real now. It’s actually happening right in front of my eyes. My sister is marrying Jordan . . . my first and only love.
Sitting here right now, watching this, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. With each second that passes I feel sicker to my stomach from the anticipation of seeing Chrissy walk down that aisle.
Kyan’s hand squeezes mine, comforting me as Jordan makes his way down the aisle to take his place.
He seems to know how much this hurts and I couldn’t be more thankful to have him here with me. I owe him so much for this and I can never repay him enough. He’s giving up something important for him to be here right now. No one has ever done anything like that for me before.
The music changes and my whole body stiffens. I rub my free hand over the front of my silver, silk dress, as my nerves begin to get the best of me. She’s only seconds away from walking down that aisle and I know for a fact that she will be looking to see if I actually made it.
