'Til Death: Volume Two
Page 39
I yawn again.
“Come on, get some sleep.”
He pulls me out and wraps a towel around me. We make it to the bedroom. I drop the towel and slide in his bed. I realize it’s the first time I’ve ever slept in this bed, and my heart clenches. Maybe Marcus is right; maybe love isn’t enough. I’d never lie in this bed and not think about it. I’d never see this house and not feel pain.
All of this is just too much.
Perhaps things really do happen for a reason.
~*~*~*~
MARCUS
I stare down at the papers in my hand, then at the girl sleeping in my bed and I know it’s what I have to do.
For her. For Penny.
It might not seem right, hell, it seems completely fucked up, but it’s for the best.
It’s me doing the right thing.
She won’t understand yet, but she will.
Someday.
~*~*~*~
KATIA
When I wake in the morning, I’m groggy. I roll to my side with a groan, and even though I had a deep, fairly long sleep, I feel exhausted. I sit up, running my fingers through the tangle of mess that my hair is. I peer around the room. Marcus isn’t here. I reach over and put my hands against the sheets. It’s cold.
He hasn’t been here for a while.
My heart sinks a little, but I figure maybe he couldn’t sleep, so maybe he’s working. I slip out of the bed and pad into the bathroom. I splash my face, fix my hair and then head back out. Once I’ve found my clothes, I make my way towards the door but stop when I see a yellow envelope propped up on the desk with my name on it. My heart kicks up a notch as I near, wondering what’s inside.
I lift it with trembling fingers and slide it open. What I see has all my hopes crashing down. I place a hand over my heart, trying to catch my breath. It’s another set of divorce papers, and there’s a tiny, horrible note attached. A note that crushes me. A note that ruins all my hope. It has six words, six simple words.
I’m sorry. It’s for the best. M.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
KATIA
It’s Wyatt that has his arms around me, soothing me, even though it’s not his place to do so after watching what a crazy person I’ve become in the last month. But here he is, being a good brother, fixing things that he doesn’t or shouldn’t have to fix. My heart is broken for so many reasons. It’s breaking for my mom, it’s breaking for Penny, it’s breaking for Marcus, and it’s breaking for love lost.
“This is for the best, Katia. You have to know that.”
I nod into his chest. Just because I know it doesn’t mean it feels any better. It still hurts. It still aches. It still makes everything feel empty. There are so many emotions swirling inside me, and I can’t make sense of any of them. Do I stay? Do I go? Do I leave my daughter near her father or do I start again? I know staying here is the kindest, most logical thing to do, but can I really watch him move on without me?
No.
“What am I going to do, Wyatt?” I whisper.
“You’re going to get divorced, you’re going to get a job, you’re going to get some help, and then you’re going to pick yourself up and fix this, Katia.”
“And if I can’t?”
“You can.”
I stare over at the papers sitting on my bed, and I know I have to sign them. For everybody, I know it’s what I have to do. Wyatt lets me go and I stand on shaky legs, still staring at the papers.
“Sign them, Sis, and end this.”
I close my eyes, trying not to remember how amazing it felt when Marcus was wrapped around me, when his body consumed mine, when everything felt right, even if it were only for a moment. He made me feel amazing for a night, and I haven’t felt that way in such a long time. How am I going to let that go? Pain radiates through my chest as I force myself closer.
Then I lift the pen, and I sign the papers.
After that I cry, a lot.
~*~*~*~
MARCUS
She’s standing at my door, tears streaming down her face, papers in her hands that are outstretched towards me. Penny has already slipped past me and into the house, smiling and giggling, lighting the space with a sound it hasn’t heard in so long. I’d turn, I’d smile, but I can’t take my eyes off the girl in front of me, the girl who is sobbing so hard my heart tears to pieces.
“I signed them,” she rasps.
I open my mouth to say something, but what can I say? This has to happen. It has to. My hands curl into fists over and over again before I finally reach out and take the papers out of her hands. I look down, unable to keep my eyes on her pained expression. I want to reach for her. I want to hold her. I want to tell her it’ll be okay, but I can’t right now.
The Marcus I am can’t give her what she needs.
“Come on, Penny,” she rasps.
“I’ll get her.”
I turn and walk inside, dropping the papers onto the counter in the kitchen. I find Penny on my lounge, staring at the bright colors on the television. I lift her into my arms, my heart breaking to keep her here, to keep her mom here, to make this better. I carry her to the front door and pass her over to Katia.
“I’ll have my lawyer call you to draw something up about Penny’s care,” she whispers, her bottom lip trembling.
“Fuck, Katia,” I start, but then stop. What can I say right now to make it better?
Nothing.
“It’s okay, Marcus. If you want to see her before then, call me.”
I nod, holding her broken gaze. Then I lean down and kiss Penny on the cheek before moving to Katia’s, gliding my lips across her soft skin. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“Come on, get some sleep.”
He pulls me out and wraps a towel around me. We make it to the bedroom. I drop the towel and slide in his bed. I realize it’s the first time I’ve ever slept in this bed, and my heart clenches. Maybe Marcus is right; maybe love isn’t enough. I’d never lie in this bed and not think about it. I’d never see this house and not feel pain.
All of this is just too much.
Perhaps things really do happen for a reason.
~*~*~*~
MARCUS
I stare down at the papers in my hand, then at the girl sleeping in my bed and I know it’s what I have to do.
For her. For Penny.
It might not seem right, hell, it seems completely fucked up, but it’s for the best.
It’s me doing the right thing.
She won’t understand yet, but she will.
Someday.
~*~*~*~
KATIA
When I wake in the morning, I’m groggy. I roll to my side with a groan, and even though I had a deep, fairly long sleep, I feel exhausted. I sit up, running my fingers through the tangle of mess that my hair is. I peer around the room. Marcus isn’t here. I reach over and put my hands against the sheets. It’s cold.
He hasn’t been here for a while.
My heart sinks a little, but I figure maybe he couldn’t sleep, so maybe he’s working. I slip out of the bed and pad into the bathroom. I splash my face, fix my hair and then head back out. Once I’ve found my clothes, I make my way towards the door but stop when I see a yellow envelope propped up on the desk with my name on it. My heart kicks up a notch as I near, wondering what’s inside.
I lift it with trembling fingers and slide it open. What I see has all my hopes crashing down. I place a hand over my heart, trying to catch my breath. It’s another set of divorce papers, and there’s a tiny, horrible note attached. A note that crushes me. A note that ruins all my hope. It has six words, six simple words.
I’m sorry. It’s for the best. M.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
KATIA
It’s Wyatt that has his arms around me, soothing me, even though it’s not his place to do so after watching what a crazy person I’ve become in the last month. But here he is, being a good brother, fixing things that he doesn’t or shouldn’t have to fix. My heart is broken for so many reasons. It’s breaking for my mom, it’s breaking for Penny, it’s breaking for Marcus, and it’s breaking for love lost.
“This is for the best, Katia. You have to know that.”
I nod into his chest. Just because I know it doesn’t mean it feels any better. It still hurts. It still aches. It still makes everything feel empty. There are so many emotions swirling inside me, and I can’t make sense of any of them. Do I stay? Do I go? Do I leave my daughter near her father or do I start again? I know staying here is the kindest, most logical thing to do, but can I really watch him move on without me?
No.
“What am I going to do, Wyatt?” I whisper.
“You’re going to get divorced, you’re going to get a job, you’re going to get some help, and then you’re going to pick yourself up and fix this, Katia.”
“And if I can’t?”
“You can.”
I stare over at the papers sitting on my bed, and I know I have to sign them. For everybody, I know it’s what I have to do. Wyatt lets me go and I stand on shaky legs, still staring at the papers.
“Sign them, Sis, and end this.”
I close my eyes, trying not to remember how amazing it felt when Marcus was wrapped around me, when his body consumed mine, when everything felt right, even if it were only for a moment. He made me feel amazing for a night, and I haven’t felt that way in such a long time. How am I going to let that go? Pain radiates through my chest as I force myself closer.
Then I lift the pen, and I sign the papers.
After that I cry, a lot.
~*~*~*~
MARCUS
She’s standing at my door, tears streaming down her face, papers in her hands that are outstretched towards me. Penny has already slipped past me and into the house, smiling and giggling, lighting the space with a sound it hasn’t heard in so long. I’d turn, I’d smile, but I can’t take my eyes off the girl in front of me, the girl who is sobbing so hard my heart tears to pieces.
“I signed them,” she rasps.
I open my mouth to say something, but what can I say? This has to happen. It has to. My hands curl into fists over and over again before I finally reach out and take the papers out of her hands. I look down, unable to keep my eyes on her pained expression. I want to reach for her. I want to hold her. I want to tell her it’ll be okay, but I can’t right now.
The Marcus I am can’t give her what she needs.
“Come on, Penny,” she rasps.
“I’ll get her.”
I turn and walk inside, dropping the papers onto the counter in the kitchen. I find Penny on my lounge, staring at the bright colors on the television. I lift her into my arms, my heart breaking to keep her here, to keep her mom here, to make this better. I carry her to the front door and pass her over to Katia.
“I’ll have my lawyer call you to draw something up about Penny’s care,” she whispers, her bottom lip trembling.
“Fuck, Katia,” I start, but then stop. What can I say right now to make it better?
Nothing.
“It’s okay, Marcus. If you want to see her before then, call me.”
I nod, holding her broken gaze. Then I lean down and kiss Penny on the cheek before moving to Katia’s, gliding my lips across her soft skin. “I’m sorry, baby.”
