To the Stars
Page 26
“No!” I said quickly. “No, I just . . . I won’t be able to call you. He looks for things that I don’t even have, Knox. He searches the house and my car. He goes through my phone.”
“What the hell?” Knox mumbled as I continued.
“I wouldn’t put it past him to check the phone bills to see if I’m hiding something. I can’t risk contacting you.”
Knox looked lost, like he didn’t know what to do with what he knew. His head shook absentmindedly, and he blinked slowly as he stumbled over his next words. “T-then you ne—we’ll—I’ll think of something,” he promised. “I don’t know what, but I’ll think of something. Jesus . . .” he whispered, and I knew he was still trying to wrap his head around it all.
“It’s not worth it.” I appreciated what Knox wanted to do, but he still didn’t understand what Collin was capable of.
“You, and knowing that you’re ali—okay will always be worth it.” He looked around the room, then nodded toward the bathroom. “I’ll hide out in there for a few minutes just in case. If anyone sees me leave, I’ll take care of it. But I don’t want to risk it for you if he’s standing out there right now.”
“Thank you.”
Grabbing my hand, he turned me around and cupped my cheek as he had so many times before. “Please keep yourself safe,” he said through clenched teeth. Just when I thought he was about to release me, he dipped his head down and pressed his lips to mine.
The kiss started off innocent, but built slowly until he was pressing my back against the wall and I was gripping at his clothes and pulling his body closer to mine. There were three times in the years before I met Collin that Knox kissed me. The first was a promise; the last two—just weeks before I met Collin—were frenzied and unpreventable because of the chemistry that had been surging between us for years. While this one closely resembled the last two, it was so different than any of the ones before.
It was a claiming on both our parts. I was his and he was mine. The passion that rolled between us was something I’d only imagined sharing with someone. My head dropped back when his lips moved across my jaw and down my throat, and he moved his body between my legs. My body arched off the wall, a breathy moan escaped my lips when he moved his hand up my leg under my dress to hitch it around his hip, and I brought his head up to capture his mouth again.
Still fully clothed. Only kissing. Yet I was getting more of a rush from this than I’d ever gotten from sex with Collin.
“I love you,” I breathed, unable to stop the words from leaving my lips this time.
He inhaled quickly at my confession, and his mouth curved up momentarily. “To the stars, Harlow,” he whispered against my lips. “Always to the stars.”
We froze with our arms still wrapped around each other when someone tried the door again. Our eyes stayed locked on one another . . . our lips brushed with each ragged breath.
“You’re mine,” he said softly.
I smiled weakly and brushed the tips of my fingers along his jaw. “I’ve al—” I cut myself off, but my mind screamed, I’ve always belonged to you.
His eyes pleaded with me to continue, but I couldn’t—I’d already said too much.
Knowing I didn’t have long before I gave in to everything I wanted from this man, I slowly untangled myself from him, and he looked like he was going to be sick.
“I won’t pretend to understand why you chose him,” Knox whispered. “But that choice . . . these years . . . all of it, Harlow, it doesn’t matter. I said it and I mean it: I’m here. Say the word and I’ll take you away.”
If only he knew how much I wanted to scream for him to do exactly that—and how I would never get the chance.
He brushed his lips against mine one last time on his way into the bathroom, and I took a minute to collect myself and breathe before unlocking the door to go back to the fund-raiser.
Whoever had been trying the door thankfully hadn’t waited around, and I quickly made my way through the room. My eyes darted around as I looked for Collin or his parents . . . or anyone who might have figured out what I’d just been doing.
I found Collin on the other side of the room talking with a few people, and as soon as he saw me, he quickly excused himself and walked over to me.
“You’re red; you don’t look like you feel good at all. Let me take you home.”
It was selfish, but I wanted him to. I didn’t want Knox to have to see us together anymore. I glanced around and tried to keep a straight face. “But all these people . . .”
“It’s fine, Harlow, they’ll understand. Come on, let’s go.”
He placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me out of the building. After a few steps, I turned my head to see Knox coming out of the hall where the bathrooms were. His eyes moved quickly around the room until they landed on me. A worried expression instantly covered his face, so I sent him a small smile, hoping he understood I was safe . . . for now. He nodded once, and I faced forward again as we left the fund-raiser, and I left my heart behind.
Chapter 8
Harlow
Summer 2010—Seattle
“ARE YOU SURE you want to go all the way to Walla Walla for college, Low? What’s wrong with University of Washington?” my friend Zoe asked as she messed with her hair in her bathroom mirror. “I mean, you already live in Seattle, and I just got this amazing apartment and need a roommate, so it’s perfect.”
“And I’ve never left Seattle, which makes it not so perfect,” I countered. “Besides, it’s only four hours away. I could’ve been like Hayley and gone to the East Coast.”
Zoe turned to give me a horrified stare. “And I would’ve hated you. Come on, I already have two years at UDub under me. I know everything so you don’t have to learn it the hard way.”
I laughed and looked back up at the ceiling from where I was lying on her bed. “I love you, and I’m going to miss you, but I need some space from Seattle for a while. Besides, it’s already official. I got my packet today with my dorm and all that.”
If I was being honest¸ it was the farthest my parents could get me to go. I wanted to stay in Seattle, but my mom had seen right through that. Knox. For how hard a time they’d had with letting Hayley go away, they sure as hell wanted me to get away from here because of him.
“What the hell?” Knox mumbled as I continued.
“I wouldn’t put it past him to check the phone bills to see if I’m hiding something. I can’t risk contacting you.”
Knox looked lost, like he didn’t know what to do with what he knew. His head shook absentmindedly, and he blinked slowly as he stumbled over his next words. “T-then you ne—we’ll—I’ll think of something,” he promised. “I don’t know what, but I’ll think of something. Jesus . . .” he whispered, and I knew he was still trying to wrap his head around it all.
“It’s not worth it.” I appreciated what Knox wanted to do, but he still didn’t understand what Collin was capable of.
“You, and knowing that you’re ali—okay will always be worth it.” He looked around the room, then nodded toward the bathroom. “I’ll hide out in there for a few minutes just in case. If anyone sees me leave, I’ll take care of it. But I don’t want to risk it for you if he’s standing out there right now.”
“Thank you.”
Grabbing my hand, he turned me around and cupped my cheek as he had so many times before. “Please keep yourself safe,” he said through clenched teeth. Just when I thought he was about to release me, he dipped his head down and pressed his lips to mine.
The kiss started off innocent, but built slowly until he was pressing my back against the wall and I was gripping at his clothes and pulling his body closer to mine. There were three times in the years before I met Collin that Knox kissed me. The first was a promise; the last two—just weeks before I met Collin—were frenzied and unpreventable because of the chemistry that had been surging between us for years. While this one closely resembled the last two, it was so different than any of the ones before.
It was a claiming on both our parts. I was his and he was mine. The passion that rolled between us was something I’d only imagined sharing with someone. My head dropped back when his lips moved across my jaw and down my throat, and he moved his body between my legs. My body arched off the wall, a breathy moan escaped my lips when he moved his hand up my leg under my dress to hitch it around his hip, and I brought his head up to capture his mouth again.
Still fully clothed. Only kissing. Yet I was getting more of a rush from this than I’d ever gotten from sex with Collin.
“I love you,” I breathed, unable to stop the words from leaving my lips this time.
He inhaled quickly at my confession, and his mouth curved up momentarily. “To the stars, Harlow,” he whispered against my lips. “Always to the stars.”
We froze with our arms still wrapped around each other when someone tried the door again. Our eyes stayed locked on one another . . . our lips brushed with each ragged breath.
“You’re mine,” he said softly.
I smiled weakly and brushed the tips of my fingers along his jaw. “I’ve al—” I cut myself off, but my mind screamed, I’ve always belonged to you.
His eyes pleaded with me to continue, but I couldn’t—I’d already said too much.
Knowing I didn’t have long before I gave in to everything I wanted from this man, I slowly untangled myself from him, and he looked like he was going to be sick.
“I won’t pretend to understand why you chose him,” Knox whispered. “But that choice . . . these years . . . all of it, Harlow, it doesn’t matter. I said it and I mean it: I’m here. Say the word and I’ll take you away.”
If only he knew how much I wanted to scream for him to do exactly that—and how I would never get the chance.
He brushed his lips against mine one last time on his way into the bathroom, and I took a minute to collect myself and breathe before unlocking the door to go back to the fund-raiser.
Whoever had been trying the door thankfully hadn’t waited around, and I quickly made my way through the room. My eyes darted around as I looked for Collin or his parents . . . or anyone who might have figured out what I’d just been doing.
I found Collin on the other side of the room talking with a few people, and as soon as he saw me, he quickly excused himself and walked over to me.
“You’re red; you don’t look like you feel good at all. Let me take you home.”
It was selfish, but I wanted him to. I didn’t want Knox to have to see us together anymore. I glanced around and tried to keep a straight face. “But all these people . . .”
“It’s fine, Harlow, they’ll understand. Come on, let’s go.”
He placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me out of the building. After a few steps, I turned my head to see Knox coming out of the hall where the bathrooms were. His eyes moved quickly around the room until they landed on me. A worried expression instantly covered his face, so I sent him a small smile, hoping he understood I was safe . . . for now. He nodded once, and I faced forward again as we left the fund-raiser, and I left my heart behind.
Chapter 8
Harlow
Summer 2010—Seattle
“ARE YOU SURE you want to go all the way to Walla Walla for college, Low? What’s wrong with University of Washington?” my friend Zoe asked as she messed with her hair in her bathroom mirror. “I mean, you already live in Seattle, and I just got this amazing apartment and need a roommate, so it’s perfect.”
“And I’ve never left Seattle, which makes it not so perfect,” I countered. “Besides, it’s only four hours away. I could’ve been like Hayley and gone to the East Coast.”
Zoe turned to give me a horrified stare. “And I would’ve hated you. Come on, I already have two years at UDub under me. I know everything so you don’t have to learn it the hard way.”
I laughed and looked back up at the ceiling from where I was lying on her bed. “I love you, and I’m going to miss you, but I need some space from Seattle for a while. Besides, it’s already official. I got my packet today with my dorm and all that.”
If I was being honest¸ it was the farthest my parents could get me to go. I wanted to stay in Seattle, but my mom had seen right through that. Knox. For how hard a time they’d had with letting Hayley go away, they sure as hell wanted me to get away from here because of him.
